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@AliceK your bf sounds like he is being cheap to me. Which usually stems from fear. A conversation may or may not change things. But it needs to be had. It may be scary or uncomfortable, but at the same time, mature relationships require this sort of communication.

These are all your fears / limiting beliefs exposing themselves. I’m refraining from giving you an internet punch in the face.

That’s not really what I was getting at. I’m uncomfortable with being too critical of Leo. I feel he tends to gets more than enough flack around here. In general I’d like to see more Leo appreciation.

Who cares? You work on your game until the day you die.

He has subtle frames and beliefs about dating, sexuality and socializing that are distorted. Possibly because of negative experiences growing up, possibly because of his time in the PUA community, possibly both. I agree with his advice on the whole though. Most guys need to learn to become attractive, socially calibrated men. And part of that involves getting real experience with real women.

I was referring to the book. It seems very stage Green at first glance. Not available to read yet.

@Epikur Seems very stage Green / tier 1 just from reading the title / description. Still in the frame of “progressives vs conservatives”.

@Fredodoow It’s a tough call. You have to decide what your highest priority is. If you’re really dedicated to improving with women, you may have to move to Paris for at least a year. You can try day game or doing game before 10pm, but that will have obvious downsides. You won’t have great logistics and you won’t really be able to do night game. Most people don’t move to the city for the pure air. They are there because of the opportunities that come from living in the city. Maybe one day our cities will have pure air and be as peaceful as living in the country, but they right now they usually aren’t. So you gotta do the best you can. I live in a major city because I want the benefits of a major city, and it’s worth it to me to suffer some negative consequences from that. But also, I’ve chosen a city with great nature access so I can still catch my breath when I need. Find what works for you.

@Antor8188 there are problems with Leo’s advise but this is not one of them. This thread should be locked for low quality.

@Striving for more I like Huberman a lot, seems like a really charismatic guy. He’s just very much a scientist who takes a scientific perspective towards just about everything. Nothing wrong with that persay, but if you’re not that much of a science nerd than Huberman is likely not going to be for you.

Pretty good article, props to Yang for this one. This topic is not well understood by a lot of people. I believe that if we look at some of the worst examples of how men are showing up (Blackpill / redpill, homelessness, alt-right ideology, school shootings, PUA), none of this is because men are thriving. These groups and ideologies are forming precisely because men in many ways are NOT thriving. If you want to get rid of these groups, which I would assume progressives would, then it makes sense to care that men are healthy. Healthy men is better for all of society, women included. And it doesn’t have to come at the expense of feminism. Yes, injustice is not always equal and that needs to be acknowledged. But the wars between MRAs and feminists are largely nonproductive.

It’s possible that was just a token objection. But assuming she was serious, then she’s right to “reject” you. You’re clearly not compatible for a long term relationship. If it was a token objection, then the key is to just make a joke of it. Don’t take it too serious, stay in your frame.

Curious to see what your perspective would be if you read the book I mentioned above. She definitely does not recommend just killing all bacteria, but she does include Listerine and a few other mouthwashes in her system. Personally, the mouthwashes are the part I am most skeptical about as well. But I figured I’d play full out if I was going to follow her advise. So far seems pretty good, especially for my gums. No signs of gingivitis anymore.

@Phil King Biggest difference I’ve found was diet. If you don’t eat acidic foods that disrupt your oral microbiome, that will go a long way. I’ve also been following the system outlined in this book: https://www.amazon.com/Kiss-Your-Dentist-Goodbye-Yourself-ebook/dp/B009LPLMRU/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=21SOWDYO471W2&keywords=ellie+dentist&qid=1647923633&sprefix=ellie+deni%2Caps%2C448&sr=8-3 She’s a periodontist with I think a good balanced perspective. Not too woo-woo, but not stuck in the dogma of dental medicine from 50 years ago either. Her system might be overkill but it seems like it’s working great for me. My teeth and gums look much healthier than when I started.

@Tudo cool kids are mostly wearing hip-hop clothing in clubs these days. Chukkas are nice as long as they match the rest of your outfit. Dark, fitted jeans and fitted collar shirt is usually safe. V-neck tshirts can be alright too depending on where you’re going.

Think about it as the lens that you view reality through. So let’s say your “frame” is that you’re an attractive man who knows what he is doing, and so it’s totally normal for you to date women who might be older than you. She might have a different frame, i which case she sees any guy younger than her as a little boy she’d never get involved with. Now when these two people meet in the context of dating, there will be “frame battle”. Whose frame is the “right” frame? What is the correct way to view reality in this situation? Typically, the winner of these frame battles is the one with the most certainty in their frame. To “hold your frame” would mean that you remain certain in your perspective even as their frame is challenging and conflicting with yours. The somewhat scary thing here is that you can win just about any frame battle as long as you are certain enough. That’s basically what Donald Trump did. It’s also what a good lawyer, politician or PR agent does. You don’t necessarily need substance or truth on your side.

@ZenSwift It’s not some different “frame” than any other situation. Lead, be confident, be on your purpose, be wise, etc. Basically just offer healthy masculine energy. I dated two girls who were a couple years older than me. If we had a conversation logically about age, they usually wouldn’t like the idea that I was younger. But when I was in my healthy masculine, they basically just forgot about age. Literally, they would say things like “I keep forgetting you’re younger than me”. So age is sort of like being tall. In theory, women really like it because it creates a feeling where they are safe, being contained, being protecter, being lead, etc. That’s very attractive for women. And of course there is some corollary to you being able to do these things and your age. Young guys usually don’t have that confidence yet. But it’s not actually about age or being tall. You can create that same feeling basically no matter how old or how tall you happen to be. It all comes down to your behavior and your mindset.

Yeah you may want to use this time to work on your fear of singing in front of your family. But I wouldn’t keep yourself from moving out for that reason. There will be plenty of opportunities for you to face your fear outside your parent’s house.

Just let her be for now. Don’t be pushy about it. And It’s good that you are sharing your feelings with each other, but you need to do it at some point sober. The alcohol is helping you get over your fear but it’s also makes things sloppy. Drunk commitments usually don’t go anywhere. So give it a little time. And then sack up and have a conversation. “hey X, can we talk about the other night?” Something like that.

@SamC if it’s a girl I met five minutes ago, than no. You don’t owe her an explanation about anything personal. And I also will not be asking her. In a longer term relationship, I still don’t think it’s that big a deal. But I do think it’s a problem if you can’t at least have an honest conversation about it. Yes, I’ve told girls my body count and the universe didn’t explode. Of course if the other party is going to use that information to shame or attack you, that’s not cool either.

I wouldn’t obsess over it. It’s obviously good to take care of your teeth but I wouldn’t go down the rabbit hole of needing them to be whiter and whiter. A lot of companies out that will push that button. Yes because strong acne is sign a poor health in general. A little bit is not the end of the world, but in general the skin should not have acne everywhere. Again, these are kind of just good things to be doing for your health regardless. Will it make a difference in your “game”? Possibly. Maybe it will make you feel more confident. But really it’s not the main reason women will sleep with you. So I’d still do it to a degree. Don’t shoot steroids or anything like that. Just get to a healthy level where you feel good. Do you care about your health at all? If so than yes. If you literally don’t care if your body is healthy or not, than maybe no. But that’s just a poor life decision.

Leo's statements here read as non-resistant in nature to me. So obviously they work for him. But I personally don't like this frame of "socializing is lower consciousness and I need to dumb myself down". Maybe there's some truth there, but I find there's still a sort of begrudging, resistant energy to it. "Fine, I'll play dumb for these idiots". Which will not manifest as strongly as really embracing socializing as something you love doing. Since my goal is to have positive social experiences, I prefer to program my mind with thoughts more like these: I LOVE socializing. Socializing is a chance for me to let loose and connect with people. I love people. I'm a people person. I can connect with anyone. I'm endless curious about people. I can be my true self and have deep fulfilling relationships. I appreciate all the people in my life. The people in my life are so supportive. They have my back. I'd do anything for them. You don't need to believe in the metaphysics of manifestation to how those statements will manifest a better social life than just looping on how socializing is lower consciousness. Those statements feel good in my body when I say them. The point is to find your own non-resistant thoughts about socializing. You know what you don't want (lower consciousness socializing). So what is that pointing you towards in terms of what you DO want? Once you know what you do want, focus on that. The more you focus on it, the more real it becomes. Notice too how certain statements clash with your current identity structure / worldview, and the resistance that generates. Can you release that resistance?

@Insightful27 Here’s the key. You want to so deeply not care how others are judging or perceiving you that it goes full circle. And you’re now able to free up enough mental energy to develop true empathy. True empathy is not possible living from a purely fear-state inside your head. You cannot perceive anything accurately that way. It’s like trying to look out of a broken window.

@ZenAlex Because most people are running on some level of energy deficit, whether because of diet or lack of life purpose or something else. Caffeine helps them function as normal. The problem with caffeine as I see it is that once you stop, it's hard to kick. You quickly become dependent and possibly even stress your system even more, which leads to needing even more caffeine just to get to baseline. Classic addiction dynamics. Free up the energy in their system and people will not need caffeine, except perhaps in rare situations.

@AndylizedAAY Just take your time to build out your basic life first. Handle to at least degree your career, finances, health, romantic relationships, etc. Leo has plenty of free content already online to get you started. More than enough. He has basically already given you every tool you need and then some. And there’s plenty of other teachers / books that can fill in the gaps.