aurum

NYC is my hell. There is no reason to move there unless you're trying to make it big in finance, fashion or theatre.

Well that's your choice. If you want to put off dating for 10 years while you stack cash, you can do that. I understand that aligning money and women at the same time is extremely challenging. But in that case, you better actually do it. Because you might find in 10 years that you've put off dating for so long that you don't even know where to start. Or you told yourself you'd have the income you'd need, but still feel you don't. And now what? Now you're in your 30s, with little to no adult dating experience. That's not a position you want to be in. Alternatively, you could focus on making money but still participate in dating to a small degree. Maybe you find a good local event or venue you like and go there once a week. This at least keeps you open to possibilities and gets you experience with women. Then when you meet the woman you really want to settle down with, you'll be ready.

It is important to be focusing on making money as a guy. And maybe you even need to deceive yourself that dating is impossible to achieve that. But it is self-deception regardless.

Insane vision, ambition, patience, leadership and consciousness. Almost no one will truly do it.

You'd probably really enjoy the PNW if you want mountains + city life.

I want to move to San Diego within the next couple of years. I just visited a couple weeks ago, it's such a great city.

@Theprofessional you are making excuses.

Can't wait for the Trump press conference announcing disclosure. The aliens all love Trump, many aliens are saying it...

The good news is that even if women are attracted to scumbags, it's unnecessary. You can get all the success you need going the integrated path. You might not sleep with as many women in terms of sheer quantity, but your long-term relationships will be much stronger.

My guess is Trump realizes Mamdani is popular right now. And considering they just got crushed on affordability during the last election, he wants to cash in on that. Trump will suck up to anyone who he thinks will increase his power. It's also possible that Mamdani charmed him because Trump is easy to manipulate. I doubt their goodwill holds long.

There's nothing you're saying I really disagree with. I think minimizing male sexual frustration is wise from a societal POV. And yes, historically society has had mechanisms in place that helped with that. But if you want to understand why people can be so apathetic, it's because of how male biological sorting works. Fair or unfair, some percentage of men are considered collateral damage. So if you don't want to be collateral damage, you have to take responsibility and compete. Otherwise you will get sorted by default. Competition is not strictly "dog eat dog". Competition always includes cooperation, alliances, bonding etc. Which means playing by certain rules.

If you are a man, society does not really care if some small percentage of men are sexually frustrated. You are in a biological sorting competition to see who is most genetically worthwhile of procreating. Some men will lose that competition and be sexually frustrated. Not saying that is right or wrong. Just saying that’s why people have the attitude they do.

Whether or not he's Tier 1 or Tier 2, his philosophy is poor. The quality of your philosophy is what really counts.

Not bad, nothing he said I disagree with per se. But there’s a lot more that could be added.

Because much of modern conventional wisdom is focused on deconstructing rigid, traditional gender roles from the past. It is a collective stage of development. I’m pointing you towards a deeper synthesis of both.

@Emerald I wonder what the version of you without this adaption would look like.

There is no contradiction. Development and “knowing better” is always relative. Feminists have a certain understanding of the world that is more developed than others, but still has room for growth. They still have ignorance.

I mean that when you are genuinely growing, you will adopt certain beliefs and behaviors that genuinely support your development at the time. Only for you burn out and discover the limitations of said beliefs / behaviors later, when you are ready to move on. Feminists are not “tricking” women. Tricking implies that they know better. They do not. What’s actually happening is that feminists are at a certain stage of development. And as such, they will advocate for the beliefs and behaviors that support that stage. That’s all. No trickery needed. Think ignorance, not malice.

It’s not trickery, it’s development. Development involves taking things too far.

Notice what makes you feel open, safe and soft. Follow that. Femininity doesn't come from control, it blossoms in the surrender of it.

@Judy2 I think you're not dysfunctional at all. I think you're sensing your femininity, but you haven't fully embraced it yet. In my experience, femininity doesn't truly unlock until it meets proper masculine containment. That's when it really comes alive.

You should not talk to men and women you are romantically interested in the same. There is a very distinct form of communication that happens with women. Don't think "I need to be more feminine". Think "I need to communicate as a man to a woman". It's masculine / feminine energy interacting. If you just go up and have a bunch of logical man-talk with a woman, of course that won't work. You're treating her like a man, when you should be treating her like a woman.

Women are not just in their masculine in the workplace. The vast majority struggle with their femininity throughout their whole day. It doesn’t just turn on or off. Some may be able to compartmentalize, but even compartmentalization is mostly compensation.

Good news is that you understand the problem. Now you just need action and to put yourself through the fire. You got this, go for it.