aurum

Yes that was my basic interpretation as well. The hard part seems to be, as you said, to not look for an answer. Our minds are always trying to do that. Even saying "x is wrong/false" would be just another belief. The point is that there is no answer. You can't truly know anything as long as you're conceptualizing. Have you continued using SA? If it really works then there seems no reason to stop in till there's nothing left. Did you find it emotionally disturbing as described in the books?