aurum

@Harikrishnan It depends at what stage you’re at. But just the fact you asked this question tells me you’re new. So go look up their foundational material. Once you’ve got that, I recommend you start implementing the social media stuff they’re talking about recently.

Authenticity occurs when you integrate the shadow aspects of yourself. Those parts of you that you’ve been denying, repressing and were conditioned to believe were unacceptable. Essentially it’s coming to embody God. It’s a real concept, but unfortunately the ego twists it as a means to simply stay the same and not evolve.

@ivory If I had to choose, I would take social skills over any other skill that I have. I can’t understate how important it is. Your entire life is going to revolve around people. Dating, friendship, family, business. Even in the social media age, there’s no way to get around it.

Rationalizations. Of course you should meet your needs, but not by imposing how you think she should behave for your benefit.

@Eric Tarpall Everything you just wrote is not only delusional, but it's filled with a false sense of self-importance. It's not going to happen. Unless your plan is to go to the Middle East and find some virgin girl who has had her sexuality repressed for the sake of your insecurities, no girl is not going to have been with a guy in the past. Look at how much you're making this all about you. You don't want her to have a boyfriend. You don't want her to have a sexual past. You want to be the only man in her life. What about her? Do you even give a shit about what maybe she wants? Waiting around for you to come and bless her with your magic dick isn't exactly in her best interests. She probably wants sex. She probably wants the comfort and security of a boyfriend. Really step into her shoes and care about her needs.

Do it if you want, it will probably be a good lesson either way. I'm all for fucking up if you learn from it. But notice from this comment that you're still identified with your old way of behavior. You think it's "who I actually am" and that doing something different feels fake. That's completely normal when you're making an identity level shift. But don't get it twisted, your current way of behavior is already inauthentic. It's simply conditioning that you've identified as "you". It's your ego structure. Why make it either or? The winning formula is to do both. Yeah you can do inner work like meditation and what not. And that's awesome. But real results also can create shifts. At first it will seem impossible, but then you'll do it and your mind will normalize the experience.

Ideally the answer is neither. If you're invested, you're invested. Even if you try and hide it the reality is that girls aren't that dumb. You need to get to a place where you don't end up in this situation to begin with.

@Shroomdoctor Love it man, keep pushing.

@Sahil Pandit One I've dealt with is Stonewalling. Basically, as a little kid you unconsciously learn that if you just "shut down" any feelings and distance yourself from others, you don't get hurt. Useful strategy for a little kid, not so much as an adult.

Did even you watch the video? They've specifically said follower count is not the most important thing. Misogyny is the consolation prize for losers. Girls don't want to fuck you, so at least you get to feel better by hating them. When I read stuff like this it honestly looks pathetic. While you're spending your precious time crying about how girls shouldn't behave this way and how you don't like society, I just accept everything, follow the flow and keep taking action. That's why I'll keep winning.

@okulele Could be a phase. Ultimately if you don't have drive, you've still got work to do.

@7thLetter You're not supposed to have passion for everything. Find what speaks to you and go deep on that.

Victim thinking is useful in that it can temporarily make us feel okay for "wrongs" we may have experienced. But make no mistake, it is a coping mechanism and needs to eventually be left behind if you are going to self-actualized. It damages us by taking away our power. When you say "I am a victim", what you're saying is that you don't believe you have the ability to effect this outcome. It just happened "to me". But the victim mentality is self-reinforcing. Because when you don't feel like you have the power to change an outcome, you won't do anything to change it. Which just makes you feel like more of a victim. And the cycle continues. Now let's say you decide to not be a victim. You decide to take responsibility for the outcomes in your life and believe you have the power to change them. All of a sudden, possibilities and solutions open up because your mind is looking for them. Spirituality speaking victim thinking is also just a huge lie. You are one with God, an eternal soul. How could you possibly be a victim?

@Aquarius I'd also add that a leader challenges those around them to step up, even if it's just by their example.

A sense of urgency in your actions is important. But it shouldn't be so much that it's debilitating and causing you to hate yourself and quit. Always keep your center.

I hear you man, I should have been on it way earlier myself but I let fear temporarily win that one. Start off by following people who have the life you want. That could be me (@akourakin), the RSD crew, whoever. Study what these people are posting on their Instagram like you'd study a subject in school. What are they posting? How often? With who? What are they saying? What are they not saying? A few common themes you'll see: 1) 60 second video montage of events this person was attending or hosted 2) IG stories partying with girls 3) Travel 4) Luxury homes / cars 5) Photos / videos of their work 6) Memes / quotes 7) Hanging with friends / significant other So these are just examples of some of the things you'll see. Since you're starting from scratch, some of this you won't be able to do. That's fine. Recognize the gap between you and these people, but don't get discouraged and fall into self-doubt. Use it instead as inspiration for what you're shooting for and accept where you're at. For instance, maybe you just start out cold approaching girls and putting the ones that go well in your iG stories. That alone will help you out. Basically, just start posting everything that highlights your life in a positive way. But also don't be afraid to open up and share some vulnerabilities when appropriate.

@billiesimon You can judge the process all you want, calling it shallow, inauthentic, superficial, whoring, whatever. It's not going to stop people from doing what they're doing. We'll see where your dating life is in three years.

Stop idolizing the past dude. It's gone. So much of what you're probably calling a "connection" was just people fitting into societal norms and various forms of unconscious attachment. Yes, you can still get a girlfriend. But I would highly, highly recommend you also do the stuff they talk about and I'm doing if that's your end goal. Otherwise the likelihood that she is going to give a shit about your "connection" is about zero.

@billiesimon I wanted to wait until I watched the video to response to this. So here's my take. There's nothing to be afraid of. Not because the trends he is pointing out aren't accurate (they mostly are), but because you can easily just follow the steps outlined in the video and you'll be fine. They're not fear mongering. They're telling you the solution right then and there. Follow me on IG at @akourakin and check out my highlights. I've been doing this stuff for over a year, it's simple and really works.

I don’t really think about shit tests. It does happen, but it can make you paranoid if you think there’s all these tests you have to pass. People with good social skills don’t view socializing as a competition or a situation where they need to get approval. It’s just about creating a good vibe. Anyway, the reason she does it is because consciously or unconsciously she is looking to see if you’re really as cool as she think you might be. Being cool = non-reactive, state control, lack of neediness, etc.

@FredFred You don’t know. Try and see.

@Spiral Yeah I can definitely relate to this. My relationship with my family was terrible for a long time, still is in some ways. The biggest thing I’ve found beneficial is having those uncomfortable conversations. Asking the hard questions, really expressing what’s going on with you. It can be brutual but at some point you just got to do it. Awakening is going to bring all that unresolved shit to the surface. Also, a therapist can really help.

@Dareghost Quick tip, try making the offer more win/win. Why should people want to speak with you?

If you actually realized that, you would have escaped from suffering.

@cena655 Yup, just as it should be. Keep working.