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You're in for an experience The retreat I did was critical for me. No, it wasn't some magic pill that solved all my problems. But here's what it did do: - Crucial insights into my life - Some of the deepest meditations I've ever had - Supercharged my meditation practice when I came home This is speculation, but also I believe something energetic happened to me on that retreat as well. That was the first time I started getting these buzzing sensations running up the back of my neck. They haven't gone away since. It's super low key, no one is going to beat you with sticks if you can't meditate 12 hours a day. Really the only thing you've got to stress about is how you're doing to deal with all the boredom and leg / back pain.

@RossE That's a big question. To simplify, I'd say part of it comes from suffering. As much as I don't wish it on anyone, suffering does have this capacity to strip away everything that doesn't really matter and show you what you actually care about. Another part of it is my choice of influences. I constantly surround myself with passionate people and it rubs off. But really, I would say that you get to a point in this work where you just can't help it. How do you have the enthusiasm to eat? You just do.

@RossE What I found during my own process was that awakening often creates these intense emotional high and lows. And in the initial stages, mostly lows. I was leaving behind old beliefs that gave me comfort. Questioning everything about who I was and what is meaningful. Repressed emotions coming to the surface. It's brutal and it can feel like you're being pounded in the ground by life repeatedly. But make no mistake, it's a phase. You're going to snap out of this and wonder why the hell you were ever depressed. And when you may go back to being depressed and wonder why the hell you were ever happy. Back and forth, back and forth. That's emotions for you. But each time, you'll be waking up more and more. So stick with it. Keep meditating and consider finding a real life mentor who you can meet with regularly to talk about this.

@Marinus Good, you've learned a lesson that being some creepy, needy guy in the friendzone doesn't work. You're not going to do that again. But you still have to get a girlfriend, so that means you have to do something different. What do you think that should be?

@spicy_pickles Two questions. No right answers, I just want to see where you're at. 1) How often do you have sex? 2) How committed are you to making this relationship last?

@Hardkill It's not that some of your observations aren't accurate. It's just that it doesn't matter. Really ask yourself this: if you had an amazing sex life or the perfect girlfriend right now, would you still give a shit? The answer is no. Also notice how your mind is also conveniently leaving out details, like the fact that girls have tons of their own issues with getting a great boyfriend / husband. Or that maybe this is actually a beautiful blessing because it's a chance to grow yourself. You don't see that because that it would ruin your victim story. What are you actually afraid of?

@Marco_the_Ape There's a ton of different angles I could hit on for this question. But I'll keep it simple and stick to just one. Say hello to the first stranger you see when you go out. It doesn't matter who it is or what you say, just break that invisible contact barrior. Then from there, just keep building it. Keep talking to more people. Take the pressure off to say the right thing and just say something. And don't stop. It's like warming up for a sport. You don't just start slam dunking. Stretch first. Most people solve that problem by pregaming with a bunch of their friends and getting drunk. It's the same end goal, just a different strategy. But the benefit of doing it this way is that you don't have to posion your body.

Yup that's extremely common. Something else that can help in that case is swapping that cup of coffee with a different habit, like a glass of water. Keep everything else the same, just put water in your coffee mug instead of coffee. You're welcome

@gilbert Meetup threads are a no-go. I'm going to lock this.

@Charlotte Congrats on your successes so far. As far as coffee, find ways to crank your energy naturally. Deep breathing, meditation, eating healthy, exercise / physical movement are all great places to start. Then if you want, after that you can go REALLY deep down the energy rabbit role.

@rush From one perspective, there's nothing "necessary" to be happy. Meditation teaches you that very quickly, since you get to a point where you can love just sitting in presence and nothing else. So no, you don't "have" to leave your 9-5 job in order to happy. But here's the thing. I'm slightly misleading you by saying that because the truth is more complex. What I've found is that people who ignore the element of life purpose really regret it and become bitter. It becomes this repressed energy that always, always wants to come out but can't. They've limited themselves out of fear. Some also say our soul's choose the purpose we want before we are even born, so we have to honor that. Regardless of why it happens, it happens. So here's the question you have to ask: is my life purpose a 9-5? For some people, it actually might be. It's not our job to judge other people's purpose and say "it should look like mine or it's not valid". That's a limited perspective based on the idea that everyone should be the same and that there's a right way to experience life. But if your purpose isn't a 9-5, you'll know. Stop kidding yourself. You've always know that's not what you're meant to do. And if you're on this forum, it's highly likely you fit in that category.

@Spiral Foreplay is AMAZING when you do it right. The best analogy I ever heard about foreplay is that it's like the build up to a movie premier. They tease you with trailers, have interviews with the stars, make you wait in line and all this other shit. Just to build the tension and get you excited. Sex is the same way. Average guy: I want to have sex. Logic therefore dictates that I should quickly and efficiently as possible put my dick inside her. Boringggggg. The right way is to use foreplay to build the tension. Your dick is Star Wars and she should be salivating by the time you put it in. How do you do that? Use takeaways. Bite her on the neck and then tell her you're not going to have sex. Rub your dick on the outside of her pussy and then pull away. Make her beg for it. When you do, not only are you going to have a better time, she'll love you for it. What's crazy though is that nothing I'm describing is that hard to do. It's just that most guys would never want to admit that they could be better at sex, so they don't invest the small amount of time to learn this.

Damn, you put her in her place . For real though, you gotta lighten up a bit. You're still locked into the rational, logical mind. Prescription: go watch some standup comedy, have fun with some friends, have some crazy sex and keeping meditating.

@AleksM Agreed. The deeper I go in this work, the more I see things on an energetic level. It's a complete paradigm shift. For anyone who isn't looking at ideas like the Law of Attraction or energy work, you are potentially doing yourself a massive disservice.

But you can't grab their pinky over the internet! Your plan has been foiled.

When done in the proper way, I really like this. Eckhart Tolle talks all the time about the power of being able to truly laugh at the absurdity of our condition. It detaches you from seeing those thoughts as true and instead allows you to see them for noise that they are. Laughter = acceptance. Ego = resistance. The key would be making sure you don't make this into a form of self-attack.

@stevegan928 Here's a better question. How would you ever know if a forum member was enlightened?

Love it. Just don't go stealing all the girls from us

I'll put it to you this way. I love sex. I'd like to pretend I'm above it, but the truth is when see a hot girl, I go into like this mild trance where the only thing that matters is us having sex. Kidding, but also not kidding. It was beyond frustrating growing up and not being able to fulfill that desire. It's like you're starving and people are constantly waving a nice steak dinner in front of you. So I never questioned if it was worth it. It was obvious at 21 that I had to fix this. And I spent a couple years doing exactly that. But what's funny about actually taking action and committing to the journey of improving yourself is that it teaches you all these lessons you would have never dreamed you'd get. When it comes to girls, the lessons I got showed me that getting girls (the right way) means learning to love your life. It means getting on your purpose. It means becoming someone who can find solutions. It means pushing through your fears. It means leaving boyhood and becoming a man. I didn't get into meditation because I wanted to wear a robe and live in a cave. I did it because I saw that the more meditation I did, the less anxiety I felt approaching girls. I ate healthy and learned about happiness because I saw that when I was in a better mood, girls just always wanted to fuck me more. Eventually you hit a point where you really do just find yourself loving life a lot more. And you realize that even though you had to take the journey, girls weren't really what you were truly seeking. They're fun but being on the journey itself is where my happiness lies. Here's an example. Last night I went out and should be waking up next to this 19 year old Spanish girl right now. But I misread the logistics and now I'm by myself. Should I be mad and hate life? Yes and no. It matters, but it doesn't matter either. I can have gratitude either way because I see that experience for what it is. But you only get that wisdom by actually WALKING the journey. Not theorizing about what it would be like Here's the coolest part: you get it all. You don't have to sacrifice personal happiness to get girls, and you don't have to sacrifice girls in order to be happy. So is it worth it? For me it was because it was a major pain point. Maybe for someone else, they couldn't give a shit and think I'm being way overdramatic. They'll have their own path and that's fine. No one can tell you what is meaningful for you. Only you can do that.

@kieranperez Biographies or autobiographies of people you admire can really help with inspiration. You get to see the challenges they faced, how they overcame them and what drove them. A really good biography can make you feel like you're channeling that person's energy for awhile.

@Michael569 I deviate from this from time to time. But generally speaking this is how it goes: First thing I do is meditate for an hour. This ensures that I get my most important habit done first and gets me grounded for the day. Next thing I do is what Tony Robbins calls Priming. It's a rapid succession of deep breathing, practicing gratitude, metta meditation, encantations and goal visualization. All in all, takes about 20 minutes. Fucking amazing, everyone needs to get on that. By this point, even if I felt shitty when I woke up, I'm rocking now. I'll then make a quick all-vegatable breakfast or some green juice while listening to some music or an inspirational YouTube video. Whatever I feel is going to keep that high-vibration mood going. If I have to drive somewhere, I'll throw on Audible while driving. So that's it. Takes almost two hours by the time it's all done. But whenever I start my day this way, the rest usually goes so smoothly it's crazy. That good mood I spent two hours consciously creating in the morning can carry all the way through.

@MM1988 You need pussy. Nothing is working for you because you haven't solved the problem. You can meditate until you're the god damn Buddha, but your biology still wants sex. You have to accept that, not repress your desires and avoid your problem with some self-help tricks. So how do you do it? Pickup is one way I highly recommend. Another could be getting really good at Tinder and Bumble. Another could be building a great social circle so girls actually come to you. But I think you know that. So what really needs to shift here is your belief that you don't think it's possible. You might want to check out this video:

@eskwire thanks!

Good answers. So if you're going to be doing cold approach and talking to all these women, what's the next logical thing you should be doing to support that?

True or not, it doesn't matter. If you need to pass this class then you need to pass this class. So your only choice is to keep trying.