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@Siim Land It's tough to accept this because everyone is so attached to their thoughts being "real" and "theirs". But if you can just accept this, then it becomes the ultimate advantage. Because you realize can consciously program yourself to think any damn thing you want. Want to have gratitude for every moment? You can train yourself to think that. Want to have total confidence in your abilities? You can train yourself to think that. So really the hardest part is just the letting go. Letting go of your old identity and comfort zone. From there, you're free.

That's a lie. Of course she does, that's what is in her best interest. Would you want your supply of free money to run away? I'd break it off asap. Find yourself a girl that is at least self-sufficient.

@rorghee I'll second what @AleksM said about doing it first thing every morning. That has worked beautifully for me. However, you may not be energetically in a place where you can handle a daily meditation practice of 30 minutes. Try just 20 minutes and build from there over time.

@Jedd Try some Kundalini yoga. There's a girl on YouTube named Kimilla who is fantastic: Also, there's a book on Leo's booklist about awakening your Kundalini. You might want to check that out.

@Colin Nice shares. A technique for reprogramming I don't hear talked about often is what Tony Robbins calls incantations. They're like affirmations on steroids, because instead of just repeating your affirmation over and over, you're going to make some sort of physical move at the same time. Makes it sink in deeper. Here's an example of him having people do it at his seminar:

@Mohamad Tahmas Yes this works really well. Speculation, but I'd guess part of it is because when you take on the role of the teacher, your subconscious mind assumes you must know the material.

@kieranperez Of course you find examples of people who rose from poverty with no formal studying of personal development. Your life is ultimately in your hands, and so if that is what you chose to do you could do it. Plus, some people from poverty might have more emotional leverage to actually take action on improving their life. But that doesn't dismiss that YOU should be doing personal development. Why wouldn't you use every advantage you have? Do you think people pulled themselves from poverty by ignoring the opportunities they got? Formal personal development is a huge advantage. You don't HAVE to do it...but you don't have to do anything. Also, consider that personal development is far more than material success. Maybe these people pulled themselves from poverty. But what are their relationships like? Their health? Their spiritual connection? Their life purpose? Their happiness? I find it extremely rare that people nail all of these. Notice that everything your friends and family advocated ultimately ends with you living a mediocre life, doing something for work just to get by. Your friends and family are not going to understand doing personal development. They have their own limitations and will put them on you.

Don’t worry, I think I threw them off the trail for now! Yes, yes, there is no mod conspiracy. Just go back to your regularly scheduled posting. Nothing to see here.

@WaveInTheOcean @ajasatya I don’t know who deleted it or why the post was deleted. But either way I can assure you it’s not a mod conspiracy to stifle apposing opinions. Likely he deleted it himself or one of us made the judgement call that it violated forum rules.

@Stephyk8 Amanda Johnson. She asked me to feature her book on my blog awhile back. Totally underrated teacher. She's been on a spiritual path for awhile and has had some major insights / changes to her life. She also has a really down to earth, yet loving teaching style.

@Random User Meditate, meditate, meditate. Also, meditate. Runner Up: yoga. Like real yoga, not the stuff they've repackaged as an exercise program.

@Coop Do you meditate? if not, get on it. It will really help you with anxiety. Sounds also like pickup could be a perfect way for you to push your comfort zone but also get some nice wins under your belt with women. I'd continue exploring that.

You could potentially do it either way. But I will say that you're likely to have more flexibility in college than a job. In college, you are more or less in complete control of what you're going to study. You're a free man, despite the responsibilities that come from actually taking courses. That freedom is what allows you to follow your natural curiosities, which leads to LP. With a job you'll mostly just have to do your job description. Nothing wrong with that, but you certainly will not have much flexibility unless you get a new job. The Pro side of getting a job is that you'll get real world experience, not book experience. And that can be 10x more important. So if you do get a job, choose it from a perspective of taking a college class. You're just following your curiosity and what seems interesting to learn.

@Spiral This is funny to me because I've almost always found myself with a disproportionate amount of guy friends over girl friends. Sports, fraternity, etc. Maybe we can balance each other out I recognize a lot of the issues you bring up in guys I've known. The excessive jealousy, competitiveness and chest beating can definitely be signs of lower consciousness in a certain context. But any problem always starts with you. You are El Hefe, The Godfather and The King of your world. So if you want to start making friends with guys who are a bit higher up the scale, bring yourself there first. Only then are you likely to make those kind of relationships. We attract what we are. That's the macro solution. On the micro, I would say your best bet is finding some sort of hobby that guys gravitate towards. I know you say you're not a stereotypical manly man but it doesn't have to be football. It could be hiking or running or surfing. As long as its a sport and not named yoga, you'll find dudes. Side note, this is the first time on this forum I've helped a guy meet other guys. Usually they want to meet chicks. Must be this Mercury Retrograde going on or something

@krazzer Do you actually want to be immortal and omnipotent? I mean, it sounds nice in theory. Dying looks like it must suck. And who wouldn't want infinite power? But let's actually break it down. To be immortal means "you" would be "you" for an INFINITE amount of time. That is infinitely longer than any number you can imagine. I can't picture any experience I'd want to have for infinity. At the same time, at the soul-level you already are immortal. So the finiteness of ego death really doesn't mean shit. The reason people fear death, myself still included, is because they haven't experienced this yet. What about being omnipotent? If you're omnipotent, there's no value in anything you accomplish. It's like playing a video game with every cheat code. Boring. So the fact that we are acting as finite beings actually is a necessary self-restriction.

@Odirachris Technically all you have to do is be aware of everything you do throughout the day. But practically it's a lot more difficult than that because our minds constantly seek to slip into unconsciousness. A great practical tip is just to set a reminder on your phone to go off every hour or every couple of hours. Then just become mindful of whatever is happening at the moment. Eventually the habit starts to build.

@AleksM I'm on this as well. Here is a topic I started awhile back: Since then it's only continued. More ringing, more repeating numbers, more synchronicities. I was never a believer in this kind of stuff growing up but at this point it seems crazier to deny it.

@Russell No, solipsism is just another philosophy. Maybe useful as a pointer, but definitely not the "real thing".

@princess It's definitely possible being in an old environment triggered some old behavior patterns. You may want to consider moving. Otherwise, realize that ridding yourself of being a people-pleaser is not going to happen over night. People-pleasing is deeply rooted in our subconscious desire to be seen as "good" and approved of. So do your spiritual purification work (meditation, yoga etc) if you really want to remove this area from your life.

@iss100 You lack discipline young grasshopper. Wash these dishes for 40 nights. Also, watch this video from Leo: Your mind drags you all over the place because you haven't yet tamed the beast. Meditation will definitely help, but here are some other practical methods: 1) Cold showers 2) Exercise (sports, gym, yoga, whatever floats your boat) 3) Eating healthy 4) Making your bed every morning 5) Getting up on time Basically anything that forces you to exert that willpower muscle will help you out here. Because that's going to force you to discipline your mind to how you want it. Over time you'll get there. The biggest key is not shirking the small decisions, because those are the easiest to rationalize away. Books for you to read: 1) Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink 2) The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal 3) Mastery by George Leonard 4) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey

@BobbyLowell It changes how you perceive them. Let's say you get in a car accident. Ego: wahhhh this is such bullshit. Cars shouldn't ever hit me and they're stupid. My life is over and I hate myself. Not ego: Everything is supporting me, even this car accident. I wonder how this experience will help me learn and grow. I'm drastically over-simplifying but that's the general gist. So there's a meta-level acceptance of any situation when you're not acting from ego. It's not that you're okay with any situation, it's that you're okay with a situation you're not okay with. It's like Judo. You can roll with anything, even when it's not in your favor. Ironically this does two things: 1) Makes you okay with the original situation and takes the stress out of it 2) Puts you in a better emotional state to practically handle whatever is going on This is what highly effective people do. They're in the flow because they're not resisting.

Yup. The "don't you fool with me" line was solid. You didn't get emotionally reactive and held your frame, which is 95% of what matters in a situation like that. If you ask her out again, I'd go for a lower investment offer on your part. Don't ask her for another one on one "date", just invite her to some event that's happening with your friends. Ideally one that you organized. Also, writing these reports is absolutely a hack to skyrocketing your results with this. When it's all in your head, it's kind of vague and nebulous. Flushing it out on paper really cements those lessons. The format I personally like looks like this: Part 1 of the interaction *Lesson learned* Part 2 of the interaction *Lesson learned* Part 3 of the interaction *Lesson learned* etc until you feel you've got it all out. I like doing it this way because it forces your mind to understand what was happening at each moment. Then at the end, I'd sum it all up like you did with the major highlights of what I did good and what I could do better next time. Way to take action keep it up.

@Monkey-man I really wanted to answer this because I had a similar reaction to Jed's books when I first read them. The only other spiritual teacher I really knew was Eckhart Tolle, so it was a pretty big switch. That was a couple years ago and my perspective has grown a lot. From a practical teaching perspective, Jed's greatest strength is also his weakness. He shocks you and gets you taking this whole "enlightenment" thing a lot more serious. He forces you to look at areas of your life you'd never look at. And maybe more important, he gets people who don't resonate with the "unconditional love & peace" crowd. But the essence of his teachings are the same. There is nothing Jed is saying that Tolle or Ralston or Leo or Spira or Mooji or whoever isn't saying. They all just have a unique personality and teaching style they use. The fact that you're depressed though means McKenna cracked a hole in the story your ego has been spinning. Which is exactly what was supposed to happen, so congratulations. Now you keep going. This is a beginning, not an end.

I just finished watching Leo's latest video, Why Brains Don't Exist. Video here for reference: It's a relatively advanced video that is going to fly over the head of most people. So I'd thought I'd share a metaphor from my own experience that really helped some of these ideas clicked. Hopefully this will be of value to you seeing things in a new way. Let's call it The Movie Metaphor. The Movie Metaphor Imagine you are watching a movie from a 1st person perspective. In this particular movie scene, the character is sitting in the passenger seat of a car while your friend drives. They look out at the road ahead. In the movie, you might see the car passing other cars. Or driving by trees. Or even turning around and going in a different direction. So from one perspective, you could say that time and space exist in this movie. But actually, you know this isn't true. With a simple SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE, you could recognize that in reality, no space or time exists in this movie. Why? Because the reality is that the car isn't going anywhere. It's just a changing image on the screen that creates THE ILLUSION that the car is moving any sort of physical distance. The screen never moves. As far as time, you also know that the entire movie is already recorded somewhere. You could pause, fast forward or even rewind if you wanted. It's all already there. In essence, the supposed "material nature" and reality of the movie holds no actual weight. It's just changing images on a screen. Not happening anywhere, at any time. Of course this is fine if your goal is to watch a movie. You're not EXPECTING it to be actually real. You just play along. But here's the million dollar question: What if no one ever told you it was a movie? What if you grew up from day 1 watching and believing that the movie was real life? And that you actually were the 1st person character on the screen? It would be a pretty big shock to realize that wasn't true. Well if you haven't guessed by now, this is a metaphor for exactly what is going on in your life. Your life isn't material. It's just changing images on the "screen" of your consciousness. And it's not happening anywhere at all. Because even the idea of "anywhere" is just another image. Mindfuck, I know. So now we have to ask another question. Who are you? We said you were the one watching the movie...but what does that make you? What is it that is becoming aware that it's only watching a movie? That's for you to answer

@Joseph Maynor You’ve got it.