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What do you want it to be? Usually more love, abundance, connection etc. But that's up to you as well. You're still thinking of God as some being that's "out there". The thing we use the word "God" for has no form. And it simultaneously is all form. I don't want to give you too many conceptualizations. If you want to answer these questions, it's really simple. Just do all the stuff Leo talks about.

@NoSelfSelf Bro, periods. I feel out of breath just reading that. Anyway, if you love singing I'd say keep pursuing it. No one is that talented when they start.

@ExodiaGearCEO First thing I would look at is if you've been getting any small successes lately. People like to say that you should just keep grinding forever even if you've never seen any results from your actions, I think that's ridiculous. Winning creates the necessary positive feedback loop to keep going. The second thing I would look at is this: That's great, everyone loves money. But is that meaningful work for you? If it's not, that's another potential cause for burnout. Third thing, ask yourself if you are self-sabotaging your own success. Most people have success barriers due to mental / energetic reasons. In that case you may need to take a more "inner game" approach.

@Solvinden Something simple you can do that may help is just treat yourself everyday. Do something that you don't "have" to do, but just that you enjoy. A real good example is dancing. It sounds cheesy especially as a guy, but just throw on some music you like and rock it. Or have a conversation with a good friend. Or watch some stand up comedy. Just inject some more fun that also isn't self-destructive.

It's good in the sense that your visualizations are real enough to create a physiological response. But visualizing yourself failing is antithetical to the goal. You want to be imagining yourself excited, passionate and overall crushing it.

@Deutsche22 Okay brother, hard truth time. I think she wants does want sex. Just not with you. Not like this. Guys make this mistake all the time, myself included. The sex slows down and you can't understand what happens. In your mind, nothing has changed. So the solution should be to have a rational discussion about what is happening. Maybe go to therapy. Maybe strike some kind of deal, e.g your 10 second makeout plan. But it doesn't work. And then you're left more clueless than ever. The reason why it doesn't work is because you haven't solved the real problem. The real problem is that, DESPITE WHAT SHE SAYS, she is not attracted to you. Not anymore at least. Ironically, the very act of you trying to talk to her about this or come up with some kind of deal is making the situation worse and worse. It just further reinforces that you are not an attractive man, which is why she got pissed. The best solution is not to end up with this situation in the first place. But since you have, here's my advice. You gave up on trying to talk her into having sex. That's a good start, but really all you've done is stop digging yourself deeper into a hole. Now you've got to start climbing out. Get back in touch with your masculine core. Start dominating your life purpose everyday if you're not already. Get some swagger back in your step. Lead. Be decisive about things, even if they seem trivial. And just start living your life in a way that you love, even without her. I admit that this strategy may not work. It's an imperfect way of solving this problem and there's a lot of nuances that could fuck this up. But considering you're already married, I'd say it's your best shot.

Yeah I don't doubt that at all. But you have to start with something, even if it's just that you want girls that are physically attractive. That alone will cut through the clutter of where you should be spending your time. Then just keep getting more specific as you get more experience. If that is working for you, fantastic. But I've really found just the opposite. What I see is that most girls who are on the spiritual path are usually not attractive. There are exceptions, but the reality is that you're way to more likely to meet a hot girl at Cochella or Art Basel than at your stereotypical meditation center. Does that mean physical attractiveness is everything? Not at all. But I'm not going to settle for girls who aren't my ideal type physically either.

I'll just add that if you find it hard to sit and imagine what success looks like just by sitting and closing your eyes, there are alternatives. The best way is to actually get around successful people as much as possible. I've found that visualizing doesn't compare to spending time in person with someone who you want to model. Reading a autobiography / biography is another great way to visualize success. Just by reading their story, your mind automatically starts forming all these mental pictures of what it would look like. YouTube is also your friend. Watch videos of people doing what you want to achieve. Then you don't have to even imagine it, you can just see it with your own two eyes.

The very first thing I would be doing is deciding where the types of girls I want to meet are going. I don't know London specifically, but in most cities it's some sort of night club / lounge situation. Hint, if you find that these venues are hard to get into, that's a sign you're on the right track. Second thing I would do is start cultivating your Instagram in a way that you want to be seen by the girl. Examples might be cool events you're going to in your life, travel, friends, etc. Then get every girl you meet to start following you on IG. There's a lot more to be said but that's the five second basics.

@KenDo Consider that your problem is not your problem. The fact that you don't know what to do in this particular situation is just at the surface of things. More root cause would be this: So either we can give you a bunch of advice on what to say this to girl. Or you can decide that what is more important is learning how to be an attractive man in general. Then you won't have to even ask this question.

@Kiamber Blake Start with developing some keystone habits. Meditation, exercise etc.

No because even if they are projecting, they may have a point. Don't disqualify advice based on that someone might be projecting. Disqualify it based on truth coming from your own judgment.

That is a bad rule. Compliments can be great when used correctly. @SelfHelpGuy I’ve never once come close to getting into legal trouble from cold approach. Use some common sense and you’ll be fine.

@Emerald I'd read Co-Active Coaching to decide how you like coaching. That's like the modern bible for the industry. Also, if you do decide to take the leap, send me a message once you're ready for business. I'll shoot you referrals.

Yes, but let's not make it seem like God is forcing us through this like some sort of parent. More accurate would be to say that you chose this, and that you're teaching yourself.

Nothing is necessary for your happiness, The question is, what do you want? When I sit down and map out how I want my life to look, one of the common themes that always comes up is people. My life purpose involves people. Relationships involve people. Financial freedom involves people. The way to have success with people is to enjoying socializing. So it becomes necessary for me by knowing what I want. If you feel people will have an important role in your life moving forward, I would suggest that you explore a similar attitude. In my experience, that's not the point of socializing at all. The topic when it comes to socializing is often completely irrelevant. In fact, having an "interesting topic" can actually detract from socializing well. This is a skill that you learn if you ever get into PUA or improv comedy. How do you have a great conversation without talking about anything of significance? The reason why this works is because good socializing is a lot about the relationship between you and the person you are talking to. If you're talking about this logical third-party topic, then you're not addressing the relationship. You can obviously do some of this, especially with men, but it shouldn't be the whole thing. That's true, they probably won't be interested. But you have to understand that there's a time and a place to talk about these kind of things. Actualized.org forum? Fantastic, go all in. College house party while Cardi B is playing in the background? No. There's always a context. Part of socializing is being able to read that. I mostly just socialized a lot. I know that's not an appealing answer but that was a big part of it. I thought I hated socializing, but the reality was I just I didn't understand it. If anything I would say I hated myself.

Is that you, or is that your scarcity talking?

I would go all in on winning and getting whatever that lifestyle means to you. While at the same time, keeping up your spiritual practice to ground the success you're achieving.

@CroMagna It would serve you to clarify your life purpose statement. I don't doubt that you've identified it correctly. But "To cultivate and demonstrate tranquility/inner peace" is such a broad statement that there's no real clear direction on how to achieve that. You want to figure out what you want first. Then the how is much easier. So get more specific. How can you make that purpose more tangible?

@Rinne Nice topic. It's easy to get caught up in the spiritual "just go with the flow" mentality and think that you don't need to schedule. Personally, I write out my schedule for the next day right before I go to sleep. It's crazy how just knowing what you need to do and when to do it saves you from so much procrastination and time wasting.

@Cortex For anyone who doesn't believe this, read a book called Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? by Justin Ross Lee.

Vegan. I’m not an expert in nutrition but eating vegan just feels much better to me. I’ve also gotten comments from people since I’ve starting eating this way that I “seem” really healthy. Without them even knowing anything about me. Oh, and I have a soft spot for animals.

@Alexop I do coaching as well, so this is a question I’ve asked myself a lot. You don’t need to get certified. There’s no technical laws on this. But you do need to know what you’re doing and be able to prove that to people, especially since you have your age working against you. Certification is just an easy way to get training and access to experienced coaches who can mentor you. If you can find some other means of accomplishing that goal, go for it. You also don’t have to spend 10k on iPEC. Lots of good programs that will run more in the 3-6k range. Some even less than that. Send me a DM and I can help you more.

@ExodiaGearCEO No magic formula, just study the pickup theory and then actually test what you are learning. 95% of the advice out there is shit. But you've got to start somewhere. Until you've tried a bunch of theories, you're not really in a position to say what works and what doesn't. At least you'll be failing in the general right direction.

@Crazy_Monkey_Brain First thing you need to try is establishing a boundary. And by boundary, I mean that this type of behavior is not acceptable if you guys are going to be together. Which I hope is true. So AGREE with what she says, because arguing will get you nowhere. But then also clearly state your boundary. E.g "Baby you're right, I didn't answer your text message. But the way you're acting right now is not okay". She likely push back on the boundary. "It's not my fault, you're the one being an asshole!" STICK TO THE BOUNDARY. In some cases, that will be enough. She'll cool off and realize she overstepped. But in some cases, it won't be enough. She'll just keep violating the boundary over and over again. If that happens, now you MUST enforce the boundary. And that means cutting it off the relationship. I say MUST because if you do not, I promise you it will only get worse. She's going to realize that you're not going to do shit and that she can get away with anything. If you do have to enforce the boundary and cut it off, then you need to be prepared for her to FLIP. She's going to see that you're not fucking around and that you you're going to actually cut it, so now she's going to try to pull you back in with sweetness. She'll apologize, she'll say she was acting crazy, she'll say how much she loves you, she'll probably even try to fuck you. IT'S A TRAP. Walk out of there with your self-esteem intact, knowing that you stood your ground.