aurum

@Lorcan No. Notice that many people die after having suffered their entire lives. I would say the majority. So there is no inevitability that you will achieve happiness. It will depend on the choices you make. That's what total freedom means. You have the freedom to suffer for your entire life if you choose. Alternatively, you could choose something else. Keep meditating and whatever spiritual practice you have. To try and understand these things simply with the mind is impossible.

Yes, a lawyer

@Viking Negative motivations aren’t nessesarily bad. Don’t make it that black and white. If pain is what is driving you to self actualized, good. Because otherwise you’ll do nothing. Driven by pain > apathy. It will not be fun or pleasant. Accept that this will be a day in and day grind if you want to pull yourself out of the shit.

Consider that this is a story. And that what really happened is that homeostasis kicked in. Why do you think it’s no longer working?

@8Ball These are all good. I would also lay off the substances next time you go for it. It’s not helping you.

I think you're just nervous about doing it. I don't get a sense that this is just some ego trip for you, so I'd say just go for it.

@GaiaGoddess This is definitely a real phenomena. Once the vibrational gap grows too large between you and the person you are dating, you break up. Which is what happened in your example of the boyfriend at the music festival. He felt uncomfortable because the energy was not what he was used to. The good news is that high vibration people are out there. Don't fall into victim stories about "there's no good people out there". That will only push the right partner further away. Stay open, stay trusting, keep putting yourself out there and let the universe handle the rest.

@tashawoodfall Lack of self-love. Jealousy comes from a place of feeling threatened by the other person. The fear that they are going to "take" what is "yours". But why would we assume that would happen? Because deep down, we usually don't think we're good enough. That girl / guy is better than me, so my prize might like them more and leave. Notice how you pointed out the other girls were beautiful and successful. What difference would that make, unless there was an underlying insecurity? Anyway, it's nothing to freak out about. We all experience these kind of triggers. And you at least had enough consciousness to actually take a step back and examine what is going on inside. Keep bringing awareness when you get triggered like this. Notice that these jealous thoughts are a lie.

@XYZ Because of your extreme negative reactions to men, I would definitely say something is getting triggered. Something you are repressing. What was your relationship to your mom and dad?

@Athemnajar I'll echo what @Sahil Pandit said. He is one of the few people who have approached me for help in an intelligent way, using what he just said. Instead of asking "how do I get a mentor?", ask yourself "how could I help a mentor?" Golden rule: the more value someone could provide to your life, the less you can actually want from them. One easy way to meet these people are masterminds. 99% of successful people either run a mastermind or are a part of some sort of mastermind with other successful people. However, the best masterminds are going to have barriers to entry like price, minimum revenue requirement, or are invitation only. My guess is you're not going to be able to pass those barriers. That's fine, you're just going to have to get creative. Maybe you can volunteer at their events. Another thing you can try is cold approaching people at networking events. Don't go to your local happy hour, that's for poor people. Go to some place where rich people actually spend their time, like a nice charity event. Befriend people, and as long as you speak the language of a person with status, there's a good chance you can meet a mentor. I've been able to connect with people who are wayyyy more successful than I am because of this. I've also had success with Linkedin. Reach out to people who you might want to mentor, figure out what they might need and solve it. No matter what you though, a mentor has to feel like you are worth investing their time into. They are busy people. If they see that you are not actually willing to do what it takes to achieve success or you're not implementing their advice, you've just become a black hole. They put time in and nothing comes out. Conversely, if they tell you to do something and you happily immediately implement it, now they are going to be excited about investing in you. Because you are one of the rare people who actually can take advice and maybe has a shot of moving up.

One of my close friends actually used to work for them. I'm not really a fan but the stuff I have seen is solid. If you resonate with their content then it's definitely not a waste of time.

@Viking Part of you doesn't energetically resonate with things that are good for you yet. That's why it feels impossible and like you're suffering to do option 1. When you resonate with good things for yourself, it will feel very effortless to do them. Change of environment can always help, but realize that too will probably be painful. Because you won't resonate with the environment that can help you. My advice is just force it as much as possible for now. Even if it's uncomfortable. It's definitely not an ideal way of doing things, but you have to break the low vibration spiral.

What, are you dead? If not how could you have failed?

@ExodiaGearCEO Can you narrow down the question? Building a brand is a really broad topic.

Whose actions are you really defending right now?

@Rachityczny I’m not saying you should hang it, but if you can’t hang it because the of fear of what your family might say, that’s a problem. You have shame around your sexuality. And it’s unlikely you’ll attract any of those girls in the pictures you’re looking at as long as it’s there. You’ll unconsciously sabotage your success. Here’s my advice: ask yourself why is it so bad if your family thinks you’re a pervert and immature? Why is it so bad if your entire family hates you? What happens? Just stay present and allow any thoughts or feelings that might come up.

Sure I'll share. Not orange. Gary has said many times that it's not actually about buying the Jets, that's just a north star for him. Really he cares about the process, legacy and contribution. Higher consciousness values. Those are green, but they're also not exclusive to green. Every stage above orange values those things. According to whose standard? If you love work like he does and are largely fueled by higher consciousness, then is it neurotic? Or is it a man on his purpose? Most people are lazy and apathetic. They don't understand passion and they're hindered by limiting beliefs about themselves. Then they see Gary Vee actually hustling and call it neurotic. I would say that's one of his mottos, not his main motto. Either way, taking action is important at every stage. Is spirituality about talking about spirituality? Or living it? I would say that's a medium for his message more than anything. I'd argue that what he really wants for people is to be happy, do something they love and live on their terms. Lol yes, reading books is the only way to learn! People don't have different learning styles or different personalities. Human being didn't spend years passing down information orally. Only books. I'm teasing you, but yeah you gotta read between the lines. Don't fall for simplistic thinking.

@Timotheus Gary Vee is more evolved than orange but I really like this video anyway:

In other words, you don't believe you can change.

I probably shouldn't be supporting this thread as a mod, but some of these are pretty fucking funny

The reframe here is that you should LIKE that it's hard. And that you have to put in more effort. Here's why: The benefits of becoming more of an "alpha male" are tremendous. And not just because of the girls. You also get things like self-esteem, emotional mastery, purpose, etc. But if it wasn't hard, you would never change. What you're perceiving as you having to "try and be more alpha" is actually the emotional leverage you need to grow. Otherwise you would just stay the same. So even though it hurts, it's also a blessing. A girl who rejects you is supporting you. It's a reminder that it doesn't matter what other people think and to let go of needing approval. You say that being an "alpha male" isn't in your nature, but is that true? Did you come out the womb being negative, feeling like a victim and scared of rejection? Or was that a learned behavior you adopted due to experiences you had growing up? I actually feel like being an "alpha male" is the most natural thing there is for a guy. The fact that it isn't normal though is a testament of what's happening in society. Of course it's also hard to take this perspective when you're in the middle of it. But I think if you look at it objectively, you'll see that it's logical.

@Max_V I remember that session, good to hear you've made progress. Highly unlikely you'll find somebody like that. Most life coaches have no background in cold approach. I'm kind of a weird outlier in that respect. Your best bet is to go RSD. I forgot what city you're in, but they're a global brand that has events in every major city. And if you're not close to a major city, you need to find a way to get there. However you might not have the money for a $2500 bootcamp. So while you're getting money for that, I'd suggest doing two things: 1) Get male wingmen who are also learning cold approach. Search forums on the internet for guys who are doing it on your area. If you can find a local inner circle or mastermind, get in on that asap. Or you can do what I did and just build your own. 2) Get female friends who you don't nessesarily have sex with that are already going out. They will give you social proof and help you stay calibrated. Having that support system of peers is honestly going to be way more important that just taking a program for a couple of days.

I agree, you’re in a negative loop. You associate relationships with pain, so you’re not going to take any action. But because you don’t take any action, you don’t get the experiences that might show you that relationships aren’t something to run away from. So you stay stuck. Consider that if you do nothing, the result will be nothing. Even though girls tend to take a bit more of a passive role in dating, they’re still doing something. Girls your age might spend a couple hours getting all dressed up, put on makeup and go out to some bar or party. And even if they just spend the whole night dancing, they’re at least putting themselves in a situation where a guy they like could talk to them. I’m not saying you have to do that, that’s just an example. The point is nothing will come from nothing. Because of your MDD diagnosis and some of the other things you’ve said, I think there’s a deeper emotional issue here that needs to be addressed. Maybe some past trauma. I think if you heal that, you might be shocked how your relationship life starts to change.

I believe you, but that’s not the reason you’ve never been in a relationship. What’s behind this story? Your experience is definitely not average for most western women your age. But that doesn’t make it a reason to hate yourself either. You’ve ask been single for so long that being in a relationship is outside your comfort zone. It’s just not “normal” for you, and we tend to resist anything that isn’t normal for us. If a reltionship is what you want, what action are you taking to make that happen?

@vinett The ego always wants what it doesn’t have and loves to compare. Even if you become a professional footballer, you’d probably be sitting here writing about “but what if I became an artist??? I went to this art gallery this weekend and I don’t know, sometimes I just really feel like maybe I made a mistake”. You have a good situation going for you. That’s so rare. Most people’s lives are fucked. Have some gratitude, and go crush the art world.