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Why does your dad yelling at you cause you to stop putting in effort on this? What does he say? Not saying you’re wrong for doing so. Just looking to understand the situation.

Why would you want to fit into the system? I'm trying to be as contrarian as my ego will allow me. The fact is that yes, you will clash with some of the ways the system is currently set up. But you also won't care.

@Charlotte It can be, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

What is your life purpose?

@NoSelfSelf I’m not perfect in this area, but a big thing for me in killing the “little boy” was working through fears. You could say that being a man is inversely proportional to fear. That’s the root cause of all this weak, nice guy, beta type behavior. So what are you afraid of?

@Darthcolo This could be a natural result of awakening. Most people don't question why they do things, and so they just get the default programming they're given growing up. Sometimes that questioning leads us to realize that we actually don't want what we previously thought we wanted. And it can be confusing and disorienting. Overall though it's a good thing. You're thinking for yourself and seeing what you're authentically inspired to do.

@tentacion A good book is all about specificity. What exactly do you want to know about God and spirituality? Narrow it down to a single question or goal.

@haguga Youtube "Tony Robbins priming". Then just follow the instructions in the video.

@George Fil I'll echo what others have been saying. It's great that you want to help, but are they open to receiving that help? If not you'll just be spinning your wheels One of the struggles I have as a coach is not going into "control mode". Many times it's obvious to me what I think my client should be doing and I want to force that agenda on them. It rarely works. People change when they're ready to change, not when you think they should.

@F A B She's at least comfortable. Attraction...maybe. If you have more details that would clear things up.

@Azlan I've found that if someone isn't into this work, you're not going to be able to convince them. The desire to do real personal development comes from a deep personal choice. You can't "should" them to take it seriously. Not in the long term. I know because I tried this with one of the previous girls I dated and it failed miserably. I was trying to get her to try things like yoga, reading books and eating healthy but she just wanted to party. The only positive change was that she was willing to come to the gym with me. And that only happened because she spent all day on Instagram looking at models and got insecure about how her ass looked. I also think it's important that people in a relationship are somewhat close in terms of development. You'll never be perfectly aligned, but you have to at least be in a same general area. So it seems like you have two choices: 1) Accept that you will be going this mostly alone, without your partner 2) Get a different partner I know neither of those are particularly pleasant but that's the truth.

You begin by doing the opposite of that. Start with just one, whatever you think will be easiest. You have to start building some positive momentum.

@Eva Who says you always have to be the bigger person? Sometimes what is needed is confrontation and to stand up for yourself. Ask her why she went to the boss on you after you helped her out. When people sense a lack of boundaries, which I believe is what is happening here, they will take advantage of that. You have to define what is acceptable to you and what is not. And no, boundaries are not being "egotistical". In fact I'd argue the opposite, because people who lack boundaries often do so due out of fear of confrontation or low self-esteem. Not because they're "the bigger person" or "enlightened" or whatever other story they're telling themselves. Ask yourself: what lesson is this experience trying to show you about you?

@Miguel Oliveira Part of developing self-love comes from realizing that your old paradigm results in pain. That's what you're experiencing now. It's a bit like sticking your hand in fire. Once you get burned enough, eventually you put two and two together and realize that you probably shouldn't be doing that. So don't shy away from any negative emotions you might be feeling. If you're angry, be fucking angry. Consciously sit and let it all come up. I know how badly it sucks cause I've been there. But trust me, you do not want the alternative of going through life with getting negative feedback. That's a recipe for disaster because then there's rarely incentive to change your behavior.

@Slade I agree to an extent. If you can't enjoy being alone to a certain degree, that's a problem. Everyone undoubtedly needs to be comfortable with themselves. But from there, relationships can be an amazing experience to have if you choose. I see a lot of idealization about being some sort of "lone crusader" in the spiritual community. There is value in doing certain activities alone, but I see a lot of value in working with people as well. You're not an isolated island.

@thehero It actually sounds like pretty normal behavior considering you guys are just friends. If you were a couple maybe it would be different.

@Xin As long as you are growing you will have setbacks. They're incredibly challenging, but you want to not resist this as much as possible because it's inevitable. There is no point where you just do things perfectly. Once you realize it's part of the process and move into non-resistance, you'll almost crave setbacks because you know the growth that's on the otherside. Just don't use that as an excuse to self sabotage. You don't need to create setbacks, they're plenty capable of finding their way.

@Eudaimonia If the reason you don't care is because you're numb, apathetic or secretly don't think you deserve the money anyway, that's bad. But if you're truly this zen monk that can just let that shit go than congratulations. My guess is it's somewhere closer to the first option. Did you make any attempt to get the money back?

You definitely should get these things handled. You're 22, this is the time to start building for the rest of your life. Also, bouncing around is pretty normal for your age. Obviously you want to commit to something eventually but you've still got time. Let things evolve.

@Onecirrus Recognizing someone won't fulfill you is not the same as not desiring them.

First off, there is nothing new to be said. Not when it comes to the deepest principles of life. Every religion is trying to say the same thing, but they all have massive followers. Every spiritual teacher says the same thing, but many of them are able to get tons followers. It's not the content. It's more so the energy and uniqueness you will bring to it by being authentic. Another thing I think you're massively underestimating is how ignorant people are. If you're involved in self-actualization and are surrounded by peers who do self-actualization, you tend to think everyone knows this stuff. But in reality most people do not understand it or have even considered it. And if they have considered it, they have blind spots. And you can fill those gaps. Final point. You're underestimating how much people just do things for convenience sake. I'd like to say I'm the world's greatest coach, but that's probably not true. However people I meet will want coaching from me simply because I'm there, they like me, and I think I can help them. It's a simple as that. Go learn marketing. Realize that people do not buy for the reasons we think that they buy. Then no one should do anything ever. Master is an ideal. You will always be in the process of mastery. How would you even know if you became a master? Is a light going to open up from the sky and speak to you? At some point you just have to accept yourself and say that you're good enough. That doesn't mean stop improving. But if you're entertaining these thoughts my guess is you're further ahead than you think.

@MM1988 The reason you get angry is due to insecurity. But it's deeper than you think, Yes, you're mad that they're getting attention and you're not. It makes you feel inadequate and that sucks. But you know why it really bothers you? Because you know it's bullshit. You know that guy could be you. You know there's no real reason that you should suck with girls. Listen. Not being an attractive man is 100% a learned behavior. It's not "you". "You" are already good with girls. But you don't know how to tap into it. All this talk about becoming a monk is just an excuse to take the path of least resistance. Think about it. The idea of being a monk is something you're probably already fairly comfortable with. Don't have to socialize. Don't have to face rejection. Don't have to change core beliefs about yourself. You can just sit in your room and mediate all day. If you actually want to fix this, do the hard thing. Go out and interact with girls. Figure out what they want and tap into that. If you don't like pickup, find some other way. But actually do it.

Yes, but you have to be careful with your definition of "feel better". It's not uncommon throughout my day that I get hits of ecstasy of unconditional love. Love so beautiful that all you want to do is share it with others. That never happened to me before I started personal development. I also do believe is possible to improve your "baseline" level of feeling good on a day to day basis. But...as far as I can tell, none of that is permanent. Where the real fulfillment comes from is not being attached to any of the highs or lows. You're in non-resistance to it all. Right now I'm in the middle of a 3 day water fast. I'm hungry, tired and kind of cranky. And yet I've consciously choosen to put myself through this. Why? Partially because I like it. I like challenging myself and even feeling the bit of pain that comes with that. I also like things like cold showers, doing nothing and eating food most people think tastes terrible. So it's not just this pleasure orgy, although you do get a lot of pleasure. Just wanting to "feel good" and not ever "feel bad" is ego. Really it's about the full experience of everything. And the meta-level calm, present feeling you get from realizing that it is all temporary and not to cling to anything.

@Slade Yes it's objectively better. And with the problems that I still do face, I have a different perspective.

@Kindle Do you feel you're still getting the same value out of the trainings that you used to? Sometimes a lack of motivation can simply be a lack of perceived value. ,