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I'll challenge you on this since I doubt anyone else will. I think your critique of Tyler is unnecessarily harsh. That's a very cartoon version of PUA and you should know that after being in the community. Most "PUAs" are not trying to bang the hottest .001% of girls, they're way too intimidated by them. I WISH more guys I knew actually wanted to go for those girls, I'd have much better wingmen. Most guys I see get into PUAs are scared nerds who just want a girlfriend that is moderately attractive. That's all they really feel they deserve. There are exceptions of course, and their preferences will evolve as they evolve. Sure, if a guy is new to PUA and he sucks at it. That's not because a "PUA can't be wrong". It's a coping mechanism to deal with rejection. Most people have core beliefs about their unworthiness, and rejections are like salt in the wound. So of course people who aren't ready to heal that will project. That doesn't mean it's wrong. That's the healing process. Never in my life have I seen advocate Tyler advocate to become another "McDonalds". He always places a strong emphasis on personal growth, spriritual growth, life purpose, and coming into your own as a man. The distinction here is that he doesn't believe you should do that IN ORDER TO GET GIRLS. There is some overlap between self-actualization and meeting women, but it's not necessary. Do it because it fulfills you and leads to your best life. You'd have to define what you mean by manipulation and what manipulation is not, but generally speaking I'd say that's false. Not in the long term at least. This is not necessarily true at all. I do know friends who have fallen into the "must have a new girl all the time" trap. And it sucks to see because you know they're not happy. But, you're dismissing a whole lot of valid lifestyles. I know people who are very happy being polyamorous, open and single. We get a lot of conditioning telling us that monogamy is the only answer. But is that actually true for everyone? Again, you're making a lot of assumptions here. Tyler speaks very openly about the spiritual work he does that doesn't involve pickup. Maybe some, you're making a very broad generalization. For me I'd actually say it's the other way around. I wasn't capable of being in a loving relationship UNTIL I did pickup. It was / is a healing process. It helped me let go of a lot of negative beliefs about women and relationships, and only then was I able to actually be in one. It also gave me the skill set and experience to know how to attract the kind of girl I wanted. I'll be very blunt. I think you're a highly evolved guy, but I would consider that you may have some shadow work to be done when it comes to receiving. Consider that PUAs are a trigger for you. Besides that, you definitely made some good points. Thanks for forcing me to consider my beliefs on the subject.

Like Biggie Smalls in that South Park episode, I have been summoned. @Nexeternity it sounds like you had some epiphanies about the importance of congruence and authenticity when it comes to women. Very important concepts, but know that there is more. Higher levels still to go when it comes to your results with women IF you choose to take it that far.

@kieranperez You have to be really committed. You don't have much in terms of resources at the moment, so I'd start small. Maybe just do some affiliate marketing. Send me a DM.

@Dogsbestfriend Interesting science for sure. He does fail to address the metaphysical component of sleep but that's to be expected.

@Max_V What negative consequences is this causing in your life?

@KMB4222 "Letting go" in this context does not mean you literally must destroy everything you own or use. It's more of an emotional thing. You can use notes but not be attached to them.

@Kaity Google a guy named Jean-Claude Carvill and check out his books. He's a female intimacy coach that helps women get over problems like this. Also look into Tantra if you're into the spiritual stuff. One of my close female friends is a tantric sex coach for women, and I know she uses tantra practices to clear these kinds of emotional blocks. It's understandable that you're upset at your mother. Know that your life is your life from this moment on. You have to decide how you're going to play the hand you've been dealt, no matter how shitty it seems.

@Salvijus It's important for any guys reading this to know that no, this does not make you a pussy. When I think of the coolest guys I know, they're not stoic, emotionless robots. Don't confuse emotional suppression with emotional control. That's the big mistake I see. Understand that most people are conditioned that it's not okay to feel. We have massive amounts of emotional suppression going on because that's a coping mechanism most of us develop at a young age. Something painful happening at home while growing up? Lock it away and don't let anybody see. A large part of this work really just comes down to learning to let yourself feel again.

Part of it is just fear of the unknown. You're not used to going on dates and so you're nervous. Prescription: more dates, more meditation.

@Freakrik Guys you don’t need to interpret everything through Spiral Dynamics. There can be positive, conscious reasons for doing pickup and negative, unconscious reasons. Just like anything else. Know what you want, know what your intentions are, and then let it go.

Then it doesn't work lol. Good reactions are not the goal. Things like the 7 hour rule, the 3 second rule, the frame of needing to demonstrate value, the emphasis on isolation, etc. It would take me several pages of writing to explain it all. Luke definitely does not have awful cold approach skills. I obviously don't know what Denton say that made him think that but I'm pretty shocked he would say that. But even if that was true, it wouldn't matter to me because I don't learn from Luke in order to get better at cold approach. I already know how to do that. I go to Luke because I'm incorporating a lot more social circle game into my life. That's his area of expertise and so I just focus on that piece of the puzzle.

Lol no, Todd is definitely not suggesting going back to SS, NLP or hypnosis. That stuff is massively cringeworthy and not effective. MM definitely has some good pieces but it's flawed as well. What he is advocating is treating pickup like a skill. Don't just approach it blindly, telling yourself you're being "authentic" and "having fun". Actually be strategic and smart about what you're doing. At the moment, really only RSD Luke. Another friend of mine and the only one teaching the kind of game I'm interested in doing. I also learn indirectly from a lot of "naturals". That tends to be more of a do what I do, not as I say kind of relationship. Because many of them don't even really understand how they're getting the results they're getting.

Of course it is. Todd does teach a lot of excellent mindsets, it's just not what he is focusing on in this video. Don't knock the "fucking a hundred nameless plates" thing until you've done it. If you weren't good with girls growing up, that will be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. I have respect for any guy who has made that happen. Anyway, we're not talking about what is the "optimal" lifestyle. That's a whole different debate. What we're talking about is how do you take a guy who wasn't previously getting results with women and get him succeeding? When you say "Be authentic and connect with a woman", what that basically translates to for a new guy is KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Keep doing what hasn't been getting you results in the past. That's completely backwards, a new guy has to have a mindset that he is willing to change everything about himself. Because what he thinks is "him" isn't really him anyway, it's this socially conditioned ego that he has identified with. I made a video about this called "I don't want you to be authentic". Self-actualization is about growth and evolution, not staying the same. So yes, a new guy needs to go out and learn some skills. Learn about false time constraints, investment loops, qualification, seeding the pull, objection handling, hard stops, walk-withs, etc etc etc. Once you get that stuff down, it becomes like your utility belt. You don't HAVE to use any of it, but you got it if the situation calls for it.

@Silvester Consider reading Discipline = Freedom by Jocko Willink. You can have both the magic Leo was talking about and the discipline. The fact that these things seem contradictory is only conceptual. In this work, we like to use the term integration. It's a bit like bringing together pieces of a puzzle. One part of you can see the magic in everything and be carefree, and another part of you can get down to work when necessary. It's all still you, just different aspects.

@Cudin Stop judging them for being at their stage of development. Just because we're on the actualized.org forum and we know some spiritual stuff doesn't make us any better than anyone else. Consider that maybe it's awkward not because of them, but because of you. Instead of focusing on you're different than them ("omg they're so stage orange, ugh"), focus on finding commonalities. I guarantee you have a lot more in common than you probably think with even the most plugged-in-the-matrix type person. There are universal challenges we all go through. Does that mean you have to spend excessive time with everyone? Of course not, you're allowed personal preferences. But if you're going to be spending time with these people, at a certain point you have to admit that no one is perfect, no one is perfectly evolved (including you) and you should just learn to get along.

@okulele If all you want to do is yoga and meditate, you could easily do that when you came back to the world. Become a yoga teacher or a meditation coach. These are actually in demand professions right now, especially with the rise of mindfulness in the corporate world. And the barrier to entry is almost non-existent.

@Freakrik I'll preface this by saying that I'm friends with Todd. And there's definitely some truth to this. I don't learn from 99% of pickup gurus. In beginning I learned from everyone, but after being in the community for over five years, I've sorted out who I think is worth learning from and giving real advice. Most pickup gurus are giving platitudes. These platitudes might be accurate to extent, but mostly they've been stripped of any real value in order to not be controversial. He's also right that for a truly advanced guy, you're going to have to go beyond 95% of what is taught in pickup. Most pickup advice is geared towards beginners because they are the largest category. I know this because this has happened to me many times. I've had to completely destroy old habits that were working and rebuild new ones in order to get to the next level. It's the old adage, "what got you here won't get you there". In essence, I think what Todd is advocating for is to bring balance back to your game. Don't be this mindset champ that thinks because you read Models and believe in the power of vulnerability that you're going to automatically be good at game. That is so delusional. You need strategy. You need skills. You need experience. And most importantly, you need to actually self-reflect and analyze your behavior, not just keep doing the same thing over and over again.

What's going on here is that you're massively projecting. They're doing what's best for them, same as you are. Only things didn't go the way you wanted and now you're hurt. The anger is a coverup. I'm not saying you're wrong for feeling this way or that the system isn't screwed up. I never wanted to be an employee. But this is happening because there's a lesson for you to learn. Really sit down, take a deep breath and try and be impartial about this. Is that honestly true? You really don't think these people have families to feed or want to be a good person? Or are you being emotional? I would challenge you to come up with five genuine positive things you can actually believe about the people you're railing against.

@Sahil Pandit Could be that you're evolving and that the things that used to fulfill you just don't anymore. Pretty common on the self-actualization path. To me, fulfillment comes from tapping into Source, contribution, growth and tangible results. Take anything out of the equation and things become unbalanced.

@riplo Dreams are more or less a manifestation of what is rolling around in your subconscious mind. So if you're finding your dreams really dark and negative, that could be a clue that you're purging or that you've got an issue you should look at. Potentially both.

@nour-cha93 Read a book called Slow Burn by Stu Mittleman. It's technically a book for runners, but there's some really good nutrition info on there and the relationship between food and energy. The basics is that your body can either run on glucose (carbs and sugar) or fat. Glucose is a bit like dynamite: quick bang of energy and then it's gone. Hence the term "sugar rush". Burning fat doesn't give you such an initial kick, but it's far more sustainable. It's a higher vibrational way to achieve lasting energy. The truth is you'll probably do a combination of both, especially if you're new to cleaning up your diet. But you definitely want to be moving in the direction of kicking the sugar habit for energy.

That's a problem right there. No work experience by 21? That's probably throwing up a red flag assuming you haven't been out curing cancer or something. This could be a problem. If music is your main passion and you're just looking to jump ships as soon as possible, why would anybody want to hire you? You don't even want to be there. Fix it and then throw your focus into social media. I remember when I was in college, the standard advice was to hide your social media in order to get a job. Now it's the opposite. As long as you have good content, you should be blasting your social media as much possible. What makes good content? Content that your potential employer would want to see. For example, let's say you're applying for a Game Development position. If I was you, I would immediately create a YouTube channel called GameDevLife or something like that and just talk about making video games. This shows that you're passionate about game development, pro-active, creative and gives them a chance to get to know you far more than just looking at a piece of paper. If you're worried that you won't be able to get a huge following, realize it's actually better that way from an employer's perspective. No one with a million followers on YouTube is looking for a entry level position in Game Development. So literally you win just by creating the content. I'd also do the same thing for Instagram and IGTV. This advice goes for anyone reading this who is also looking for a job. Get on social media and create content.

@blacksapp I might depending on the situation. We place so many limits on love out of fear and scarcity. The idea that you're only capable of being with one person is nonsense.

@Thetruthseeker Use it, don't let it use you. Post what you have to post and GTFO.

You've misunderstand what Spiral Dynamics is about. When you transcend into a new stage, the purpose is not to throw everything in the trash about the previous stage. It's to recognize it's limitations and move forward. Let's look at an example. Just because you ate and slept today doesn't mean you're stage Beige. That's because while you realized that you do need to eat and sleep, there's more to life than that. There are limitations to stage Beige. At the same time, what if you never went through stage Beige? What if you decided you just wanted to be Turquoise and never learned the importance of eating and sleeping? You'd be dead. So nothing of true value is ever lost when you transcend a stage. You simply take the good, discard the bad and move forward with your new awareness. Nobody is suggesting we stop using technology. But there are limits to technology and how effective it can be at solving problems. Mainly, that it doesn't account for the psychology of the people using it. What people need to do is recognize that technology is a reflection of our inner world. So if you want to make technology that will actually save the planet, turn inward first and see what's going on inside.