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@Marcell Kovacs Yeah I don't believe that for a second. No one is motivated 24/7. There are some days where it's just not there. I would read a book called Turning Pro by Steve Pressfield. 5 second summary: there are amateurs and professionals. Amateurs show up when they "feel like it". Professionals show up no matter what. I'm not saying you might not have to make some changes. But I would also readjust your expectations for your motivation levels. I can tell you right now, every single day I don't particularly "feel" like doing many of the things I do. I would be a lot easier to just sit in my bed and scroll Instagram. But I do it anyway.

Now might not be the time for this since the breakup is pretty fresh, but at some point I would sit down and ask yourself why you think this happened. There's always a lesson to be found. Cheating is painful, but it's not random. He might just be the kind of guy that cheats but you can't control his behavior. All you can really do is see if there's something you could have done to make a better situation.

The way I wrap my head around it is that it's incredibly selfish to think that people should buy your product or service without marketing and sales. Your goal is for people to buy your product. But the random guy walking down the street's goal is to pay his bills, take care of his family, get a nice meal, etc. So why should he give a shit about your product? You have to show him that he should care. You have to go "stop what you're doing! This thing will make your life better!" Otherwise how will he know? Imagine you were in a store, someone came up to you and asked you to buy product X. But when you asked them what it was or what it did or why you should buy it, they wouldn't tell you. How likely are you buy? Even if that was the best product on Earth, you're leaving after a few seconds. As I've gotten more into business, I've actually really come to love marketing and sales. The psychology is incredibly fascinating and it's always a challenge. You have to really see how beneficial it is for you to do this in your business. Resources I'd recommend would be anything by John Carlton and Dan Kennedy. Also, check out "Building A Story Brand" by Donald Miller.

@kieranperez Yeah the marketing rabbit hole is incredibly deep. Everyone needs to study it, if only to understand how not to get sucked into cheesy marketing. Check out John Carlton and Dan Kennedy, they'll probably blow your mind.

@JohnIsDoe I don't have a moral problem with cheating so I don't think you should feel guilty or ashamed. I just think it's a bad strategy. People usually cheat when they're in an emotional double bind. One part of them is unhappy with the relationship and wants to get certain needs met (in your case, sex). Another part of them wants to keep the relationship alive, usually out of fear of breaking up. So the person goes with this middle of the road strategy where they don't break things off, because that would be too painful, but they also find someone else who can meet their needs. Then they just cover up the whole thing with lies. The problem is the lies can be difficult to maintain. The more lies you tell, the more lies you have to tell. And it just gets worse and worse. If you want more sex than your girlfriend can give you, it would be 100x easier to either get into an open relationship with a girl, be polyamours or find a girl who wants to do threesomes. Then the expectations are clear from the start and you don't have to navigate this web of lies. In terms of self-actualization, you could really benefit from telling her the truth about what is going on. She's going cry and all those things you are afraid of is probably going to happen. But realize that it's your unwillingness to experience that which landed you in this situation in the first place. Look at the logic. You didn't want to tell her the truth that your sex life sucks and that you were thinking about cheating because you were afraid of hurting her. So you cheated. Now you don't want to tell her the truth that you cheated because you're afraid of hurting her, which is going to be 10x worse than if you had told her before you cheated. You're digging yourself deeper and deeper. Let go of your attachment of trying to feel like a good person.

@SelfHelpGuy Why would it be bad in the first place? I don't see anything wrong with it.

@Gligorije Social skills. I don't know what you're planning on doing with your life but it's more than likely going to involve people.

Which is flawed because it's assuming housing prices just keep rising forever. 2008 proved that's not a guarantee. I know little about this but I know in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert famously said that a house is a liability, not an asset. Meaning he doesn't see a house as something you buy in order to make money. Grant is not a conartist, he's one of the biggest entrepreneurs on the planet right now. One of my good friends works for him out here in Miami Beach.

@kingroboto There's lots of things you can do, but the simple one is just to decide that you're going to look people in the eyes as much as possible. Practice on random strangers walking down the street, as strange as it might sound. The more you do it, the more you'll see it's not a big deal.

That's normal, it will shift over time if you keep up your practice. Set an alarm on your phone every hour. When the alarm hits, stop what you're doing and just get present for a minute or so.

"Should you buy a home?" is not a good question to ask in the first place, it's too broad. Are you going to live in the home? Rent the home? Are you married? Single? Ambitious? Someone who likes to travel? Personally, I'm with Grant. I have no intention of ever buying a home. I like living in the city, I like being mobile and I like the convenience of being in an apartment. I've never invested in real estate so no comment on whether it's a good financial investment.

Good, I'd sit with that in meditation and see what comes up. This is a complicated question with a lot of subtleties and nuances. But I'll do my best to sum up my views. Yes, I absolutely think women choose men based on certain qualities that they want. They're not going to treat Dan Bilzerian the same way they're going to treat the nerdy accountant from Iowa. To think anything else is completely delusional and is going to result in passive pain. This is where the whole "just be authentic" belief is tremendously misleading. If you look closely at your desire to get your needs met by just "being yourself", you'll notice that it's selfish. You want something from here (love, sex, affection), you don't thing she has needs as well? There's two people in this equation. The really hard thing to stomach is that maybe you aren't right now what she wants. Maybe what she wants is Joe the football captain or Blake the musician with tattoo sleeves. But you know what? I'm completely okay with this. If I'm in a relationship, I don't expect her to still want to be with me if I stop doing the things that made her like me in the first place. That would be like expecting your business partner to keep doing business with you after you completely changed the terms on the contract. It's absurd that we would think anything else. The real crime is that you were told that relationships are here to fill some sort of void, and that your partner is supposed to be your savior. As a man you want to be your own source of unconditional love. Not seeking it in a woman. I also know that as much as women have their dating preferences, I ALSO have many dating preferences. So it would be hypocritical for me to judge her for doing the same thing. Now let's get even more nuanced. You might say that this view of reality is cold or bleak. But it's actually not, I find it pretty perfect. If a woman has a dating preference and you don't meet those standards, it says nothing about how loveable you are or what your worth is. It just means that she has a preference. It be like if you went to the eye doctor, but instead of a doctor an electrician walked through the door and said he was going to take over for the eye doctor. In that moment, you wouldn't hate the electrician or think he doesn't deserve love. It's just not what you're looking for at the moment. Dating is the same way. You have to actually BE what the girl is looking for.

@Paulus Amadeus Can you be more specific? What kind of business?

@Vadim26 Notice that each time you go to procrastinate and be lazy, you justify it with a mental story. You have to realize these stories are self-lies. You think you tell yourself the truth, but this in of itself is not true. People lie to themselves constantly. If you recognize the lie as a lie, it loses its power. Right now you're still not so sure it's a lie. Next thing you have to do is ask yourself this: what BENEFIT am I getting from procrastination? And be specific. For instance, maybe you benefit from procrastination because it keeps you safe. It keeps you from putting yourself out there and getting hurt. That's a real benefit. Once you see the benefit, accept that part of yourself because it was helping you.

@Torch Cold showers, strong determination sitting, endurance exercise, eating healthy. Simple four part formula for developing discipline. Also, writing out your schedule for the next day before you go to sleep is an amazing habit to get into.

First off, I do my best to be very careful about who I label as lower level. That's an easy trap to not notice your own flaws. Plus, people tend not to like it when you go around telling them they're unevolved. Not really productive. Debating too is usually a waste of time because debates aren't about logic. They're about emotions. The best way I've seen to motivate people is to lead by example. BE who you think others should be. That's way more attractive than just running around and saying "you should be like this". Another thing that works really well is what the self-help legend Steve Covey calls "Seek first to understand, then to be understood". You want people at a lower level of consciousness to understand your point of view, but have you ever specifically sought out to understand theirs? Here's what is amazing about this principle. When you actually have a real dialogue with someone and get to understand why they do what they do, it's almost always far better than what we imagine in our minds. People aren't crazy and they're not evil, not when you really develop empathy and can step into their shoes.

"I see me as worthless". They're your mirror. I'd suggest doing some work on opening your heart chakra. Reiki can be a powerful tool for this. Also try socializing more.

He likely did something right that you did not. What can you learn from this guy?

@billiesimon Definitely sounds like mom-stuff. Why does it scare you? This is the question I'd focus on. Let's say everything you said is true. When it comes to these girls, you're just one of their choices. They're using and exploiting you. What then? What does that mean? Notice also that your mind will want to avoid doing this.

Here's some truth. You don't. Everyone has life purpose confused. It's not something you're just handed, it's something you evolve into over time through ACTION. You have to dive into what is motivating you right now. For instance, when I was 19 years old, I became obsessed with studying different religions. I was raised Catholic and had a lot of fucked up beliefs that needed to be released. Then after about a year of that, I was done. The motivation was gone. That isn't a bad thing. That was a necessary experience for me to be able to do what I'm doing right now. The reality is that when you're young, you lack self-awareness and experience. You have to take the journey to discover these things. As romantic as it sounds that you can just go into the woods for a weekend and discover your life purpose, I've never seen it happen that way. You evolve and adapt over time. Let's say you write for a couple years and then eventually decide you want to quit. Good. All that means is you've gotten closer to your truth. I don't even expect that I'll do what I'm doing forever. Take the thing that's right in front of you. If it's motivating you, IT IS GOOD.

@Hansu There's a lot of things that could be causing this, but a simple solution might be a change in environment. You think you're "you", but in reality you're mostly just a product of your environment. So if you can switch up either where you're living or what's in your immediate environment that could really help. For instance, I like to have things in my room that remind me of my goals. Books, pictures, clothing, jewelry, etc. Anything that gets my mind thinking along the right track.

What are you doing to relax? If relaxing to you means watching TV, netflix or that latest movie you torrented, that's not relaxing. That's actually going to get your mind activated a lot because it's a very stimulating experience. Relaxation to me is meditation. Or going in a sauna and taking a cold shower. Second thing you have to take a look at is your diet. If you're not eating clean, do that right now. It takes zero extra minutes out of your day to eat healthy vs eating unhealthy, with the exception that you might have to cook a bit more. Once you're eating healthy, you'll automatically have a lot more energy. Next, look at the quality of your sleep. Don't drink water right before you go to bed so that you wake up and have to go the bathroom. Buy blackout curtains so that your room is completely dark. Don't sleep with the TV or noise going on. Final step in all this is you gotta change your job situation. That's a long term plan usually but you have to start planning now.

@Jasmine DM influencers on Instagram in your niche and tell them you'll send them some product for free. Don't even ask for a shoutout. They'll likely say yes because hey, why not? Free stuff. Once they get your product and see that it's good, they'll almost inevitably give you a shoutout in their story or maybe in a picture. Realize that they also want to show the world that they're getting sent free stuff because that makes them look good.

I used to say "no" because there's too big a difference. But my opinions have changed on this slightly. Most people try to make their boyfriend / girlfriend into everything. They want them to be their best friend, gym buddy, therapist, lover, business partner and everything else. It's really not a fair expectation. In reality, you want to look at your life like you're a casting director and you're looking people to take specific roles. Who is going to take the best friend role? The therapist role? The business partner? Etc. As long as she is supportive, I don't need a girlfriend who is aggressively self-actualizing. That's a personal choice and honestly most people won't get it. So for you, define what you really need out of a boyfriend. If he doesn't fit that role, drop him. If he does, look to other people to fulfill those needs.

@metamorphose It helps to have a reason why you guys should be friends. For instance, if you were both on the same sport team, you'd have a reason to be friends. If you were both musicians who wanted to play music together, now you have a reason to be friends. Get specific on why you want friends. Define it clearly. "Deep connection" and "like-minded" is way too vague and wishy-washy.