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No, I wouldn't equate it with that. That's a caricature. I agree, self-actualization is probably my favorite topic as well. That's why I'm on this forum. But socializing isn't just about talking about your favorite topic. No, you nailed it. I'm a big fan of RSD. No, because that's not what it means to not have any attachments. Attachment is an energetic thing. When people are attached, there's a clinging, low-vibration type of energy to it. They can't let it go. And it creates a lot of Win / Lose situations in the world. However, the universe is smart. It knows you're attached and that you've got to let it go. So what often happens is a situation will arise where the person is forced into letting go of whatever they were attached to. By being stripped of the thing they want, the person is forced to emotionally and energetically expel that low-vibration from their system. The attachment is released. Once the attachment is energetically released, it opens up a new way of being. A way based on high vibration energy and gratitude. Now when something you want comes into your life, you don't cling and try to make it this permanent thing. You just say "wow, thank you. What a gift". And when it leaves, you say "wow, thank you. So glad I had that gift". But this is the funny part. Because you've passed the universal test of not being attached and having gratitude instead, the universe will flood whatever you want in. You said you did pickup, so I know you know this. What's it like when you're attached to the outcome of picking up girls? Rejection, anger, pain. Girls think you're creepy. What's it like when you're not attached? You're the motherfucking man, every girl loves you. Another example. When I look at interviews with Warren Buffett, I don't get a sense he's a guy that is attached to money at all. I think he likes money, I think he's grateful for the money he has. But I really get a vibe that he also just loves the process of investing. Now, it is true that by releasing all attachments you may find that what interest you before now longer interests you. That's fine, all that means is that desire was never authentic anyway. It's the attachments that hide what you actually care about doing / having in your life.

Bro it's not even fair. Some of the situations I've found myself in lately are so good that it literally feels uncomfortable. Like you hacked the matrix or something. The big, big, big advantages of social circle game are access and TIME. It's literally the 4-Hour-Work Week of game. If you do it right, not only will you get hotter girls than you could have ever gotten doing cold approach, you will get them easier and faster than ever before. You will be getting laid in your sleep as your social circle does all the work. Here's an example. I recently befriended this manager of a trendy restaurant here in Miami. He invites me out to some events that he is throwing at his restaurant and tells me I can bring guests. Not only does he comp our entire meal, he then proceeds to introduce me to hot girl after hot girl. They are immediately receptive because it's not a creepy fucking cold approach, it's a trusted introduction. I grabbed all their Instagrams. Then, he introduces me to a bunch of cool guys that are really successful. One of them is going to be on my podcast and the rest have started inviting me to these exclusive events I never knew existed. You can see a lot of it on my Instagram stories. It's literally the perfect solution to the "not enough time to game" problem. To get that level of success via purely cold approach would have taken hours and hours AT BEST. And that's even with great game. So yeah man there's no comparison. The only catch is that you have to start looking at Game in a much different way. You really have to become a connector and understand how to arbitrage value from different people.

@7thLetter I've definitely had periods where I just needed to unplug and go within for awhile. But in my experience, that isn't meant to last. I don't equate self-actualization with becoming becoming some sort of hermit that can't live in society. And I think a lot of people in the rationalize their lack of connection with others with spiritual ego, i.e "look at me, I'm so conscious. I don't need to associate with you sleepwalkers anymore". From a more pragmatic perspective, people have everything you want. You're free to not associate with other people. But don't be surprised when you can't find a partner for your dream business. Or can't get funding for your charity. Or no one buys your music album. Or you can't get a girlfriend. Or no one picks you up at the airport. Or you can't get a job recommendation. Or you can't find a gym partner. Or you can't afford to travel. Etc etc etc. In essence, you are not some independent island that can do everything yourself. Or, if you really don't care about anything I just listed, just say fuck it and go live in an ashram in India. But make a real decision, not a decision based on fear, past wounds and rationalizations. Personally I've chosen to associate and engage with others. This world is a mirror, and your experience of people will be a reflection of you, not them.

It's a lot more social circle versus just cold approach. I haven't talked about it publicly because I haven't quite cracked the code. But I've gotten some glimpses of where it's going and it's awesome.

Right now I'm coming off of a phase where I was doing a lot of stereotypical cold approach / PUA stuff. I've stopped not because I think it's manipulative or evil, but because it's not nearly as effective as people make it out to be. So I'm basically breaking down a lot of my old habits and installing new, more effective ones. It's a big shift but it's definitely going to be worth it. The reality is though that my situation isn't your situation. So even if I tell you some of the things I'm working on, it's probably not going to be relevant to where you are at.

@Omario The good news is that you're 16, so you've got a shit load of time to grow into being a boss. I'm 27 and feel like I'm just getting started. And the fact that you're on this forum means you are way ahead of the curve. So given your age at that you're probably in high school, I'd do two things. 1) Read up on female psychology and sexuality like @Spiral said. Books like Sex At Dawn, Way of the Superior Man and The Female Brain are good introductions. 2) Start learning how to grow a social circle and be the popular guy. In high school, I would bring together groups of friends and throw small parties. Same thing in college but on a 10x scale. If you become "that guy" who is creating a good experience for everyone, is leading the group and isn't afraid to be sexual, you'll get a girlfriend.

@Marinador From what I understand, they are conceptually different. Mystical union is a temporary event where the ego boundaries dissolve. Enlightenment seems to be more of a permanent awareness.

@Cortex Most likely that you got really present and the thinking mind quieted down.

@phoenix666 Nice! Those are important insights.

@Widdle Puppy Do you take ADHD meds?

What do you want it to be? Usually more love, abundance, connection etc. But that's up to you as well. You're still thinking of God as some being that's "out there". The thing we use the word "God" for has no form. And it simultaneously is all form. I don't want to give you too many conceptualizations. If you want to answer these questions, it's really simple. Just do all the stuff Leo talks about.

@NoSelfSelf Bro, periods. I feel out of breath just reading that. Anyway, if you love singing I'd say keep pursuing it. No one is that talented when they start.

@ExodiaGearCEO First thing I would look at is if you've been getting any small successes lately. People like to say that you should just keep grinding forever even if you've never seen any results from your actions, I think that's ridiculous. Winning creates the necessary positive feedback loop to keep going. The second thing I would look at is this: That's great, everyone loves money. But is that meaningful work for you? If it's not, that's another potential cause for burnout. Third thing, ask yourself if you are self-sabotaging your own success. Most people have success barriers due to mental / energetic reasons. In that case you may need to take a more "inner game" approach.

@Solvinden Something simple you can do that may help is just treat yourself everyday. Do something that you don't "have" to do, but just that you enjoy. A real good example is dancing. It sounds cheesy especially as a guy, but just throw on some music you like and rock it. Or have a conversation with a good friend. Or watch some stand up comedy. Just inject some more fun that also isn't self-destructive.

It's good in the sense that your visualizations are real enough to create a physiological response. But visualizing yourself failing is antithetical to the goal. You want to be imagining yourself excited, passionate and overall crushing it.

@Deutsche22 Okay brother, hard truth time. I think she wants does want sex. Just not with you. Not like this. Guys make this mistake all the time, myself included. The sex slows down and you can't understand what happens. In your mind, nothing has changed. So the solution should be to have a rational discussion about what is happening. Maybe go to therapy. Maybe strike some kind of deal, e.g your 10 second makeout plan. But it doesn't work. And then you're left more clueless than ever. The reason why it doesn't work is because you haven't solved the real problem. The real problem is that, DESPITE WHAT SHE SAYS, she is not attracted to you. Not anymore at least. Ironically, the very act of you trying to talk to her about this or come up with some kind of deal is making the situation worse and worse. It just further reinforces that you are not an attractive man, which is why she got pissed. The best solution is not to end up with this situation in the first place. But since you have, here's my advice. You gave up on trying to talk her into having sex. That's a good start, but really all you've done is stop digging yourself deeper into a hole. Now you've got to start climbing out. Get back in touch with your masculine core. Start dominating your life purpose everyday if you're not already. Get some swagger back in your step. Lead. Be decisive about things, even if they seem trivial. And just start living your life in a way that you love, even without her. I admit that this strategy may not work. It's an imperfect way of solving this problem and there's a lot of nuances that could fuck this up. But considering you're already married, I'd say it's your best shot.

Yeah I don't doubt that at all. But you have to start with something, even if it's just that you want girls that are physically attractive. That alone will cut through the clutter of where you should be spending your time. Then just keep getting more specific as you get more experience. If that is working for you, fantastic. But I've really found just the opposite. What I see is that most girls who are on the spiritual path are usually not attractive. There are exceptions, but the reality is that you're way to more likely to meet a hot girl at Cochella or Art Basel than at your stereotypical meditation center. Does that mean physical attractiveness is everything? Not at all. But I'm not going to settle for girls who aren't my ideal type physically either.

I'll just add that if you find it hard to sit and imagine what success looks like just by sitting and closing your eyes, there are alternatives. The best way is to actually get around successful people as much as possible. I've found that visualizing doesn't compare to spending time in person with someone who you want to model. Reading a autobiography / biography is another great way to visualize success. Just by reading their story, your mind automatically starts forming all these mental pictures of what it would look like. YouTube is also your friend. Watch videos of people doing what you want to achieve. Then you don't have to even imagine it, you can just see it with your own two eyes.

The very first thing I would be doing is deciding where the types of girls I want to meet are going. I don't know London specifically, but in most cities it's some sort of night club / lounge situation. Hint, if you find that these venues are hard to get into, that's a sign you're on the right track. Second thing I would do is start cultivating your Instagram in a way that you want to be seen by the girl. Examples might be cool events you're going to in your life, travel, friends, etc. Then get every girl you meet to start following you on IG. There's a lot more to be said but that's the five second basics.

@KenDo Consider that your problem is not your problem. The fact that you don't know what to do in this particular situation is just at the surface of things. More root cause would be this: So either we can give you a bunch of advice on what to say this to girl. Or you can decide that what is more important is learning how to be an attractive man in general. Then you won't have to even ask this question.

@Kiamber Blake Start with developing some keystone habits. Meditation, exercise etc.

No because even if they are projecting, they may have a point. Don't disqualify advice based on that someone might be projecting. Disqualify it based on truth coming from your own judgment.

That is a bad rule. Compliments can be great when used correctly. @SelfHelpGuy I’ve never once come close to getting into legal trouble from cold approach. Use some common sense and you’ll be fine.

@Emerald I'd read Co-Active Coaching to decide how you like coaching. That's like the modern bible for the industry. Also, if you do decide to take the leap, send me a message once you're ready for business. I'll shoot you referrals.

Yes, but let's not make it seem like God is forcing us through this like some sort of parent. More accurate would be to say that you chose this, and that you're teaching yourself.