aurum

I would start with a job if you don't have one already. What is it specifically that you imagine yourself doing?

This is just a model, but it might be helpful to think about it like this: Authenticity comes from grounding. You want to do the kind of spiritual work Leo talks about to make sure you're not "trying" for an outcome and coming off as fake. The more grounded you are, the more energy you can put in to "ramp it" without it coming off wrong. From the little bit I watched, I think you're pretty good though.

It's all good. Then I would take a deeper look at why you see the world that way. Because that's not accurate.

Yeah I was only sort of kidding. I actually think you should do it.

Sounds like you do actually know. That does sound perfect, but I wouldn't expect perfect. I would expect things to be messy. My situation is different than yours, but I've done all sorts of jobs I didn't like in order to finance what I'm doing. It's a day to day challenge. No problem brotha.

@Alex bAlex Offering an internship program and having a girlfriend does not qualify you as a cult. Stop spreading conspiracy theories.

@Mezanti Good. Too many intellectuals on this forum, more action is key.

That's true. Which means you'll have to get some kind of job to support yourself while you work on what you really want. The good news is that you live in the age of the internet, and a lot of what you need to do can be done from your cell phone and your room. And what about what you want? Where's your voice? I know this sounds harsh but forget about her. It's not her life and it's not her job as a parent to tell you what to do. If she doesn't like it, she'll have to deal with it. It sounds like you're justifying pursuing dentistry, even though that's not what you want. You're young and you have no one to support financially. Personally, I'd bite the bullet, quit dentistry, get a job and spend my free time pursuing what you feel more passionate about.

I don't think there's an easy answer here. You're in a really tough spot. It's cool that you want to be in music, but it sounds like you haven't taken many practical steps towards making that happen. Which means you're likely years away from being able to sustain yourself financially on that. You also have a wife who is financially dependent on you, which makes things complicated. If you want the best of both worlds, i.e financial stability and to chase your dreams, you're just going to have to spend every moment of free time working on your music career. Otherwise, quit your job and deal with the inevitable consequences. What do you think?

@Mrkvn8 Why do you need Leo's mic? It might not even be appropriate if you're doing documentaries.

What is the career you imagine you'd like instead?

Since you probably don't know, part of my background is that I've actually spent a lot of time doing exactly what you're talking about. To me, nothing gets solved through bypassing and suppression. Actually allow that desire to express itself without resisting it and then you have a chance of going beyond it. Too many spiritual people want to act like they're "above it" and skip the process. You're not. I get that. But here's what you're not seeing. Getting those one night stand is a lot, lot harder than you probably realize. Especially if this: is your background. So I've never looked at it like I was just going out to score a bunch of one night stands. There was always an element of personal development behind it. I would challenge you to actually become that guy. Then if you don't like it, you can disown the whole thing after you've actually gotten some results.

@lostmedstudent You've probably thought about it already too much. Flip a coin and move on. Yes it's unknown and scary, but you have to do it anyway.

@ContemplativeCacti It really depends on what you want. A lot of people are more promiscuous after a breakup. That can be healthy. You have to know "you" and what your goals are.

Just a heads up, creating meetups are against the forum guidelines. It's going to be tougher in university because you've basically committed to being in the environment for a couple years. But it can still be done. First thing you want to do is find out exactly who you what to surround yourself with. Where do they eat? Where do they get their haircut? Where do they live? Etc. Once you know all that information you just plug yourself into those situations in a way that adds value. If you can become a connector / organizer for the people you want to associate with, that's a major plus. It's an easy way to add value to people in a way they will really appreciate. The key thing to realize here is that most successful people probably don't want to hang out with you. That's not a personal attack. It's just that in the same way you want to be around successful people, so do they. And they're busy. So if you're not successful already, you're going to run into gatekeepers that stop you from meeting these people. More than likely you'll have to network with people who aren't so successful until you start making better and better connections.

@Ampresus At your age I’d say just focus on getting experience. Without exerience any advice won’t have the same impact.

@Eric Tarpall seems to be getting dumped on in this thread but I actually agree with him. You need a sense of urgency in life. Otherwise you go from peaceful to just apathetic and passive. It's a fine line. Urgency plus a sense of calm is more of the sweet spot to me.

I'm aware. But I'd rather be real than waste everyone's time. Things like how happy / self-accepting she is. Sense of humor. Social skills. Ambitions. There's plenty of things that matter way more than "did you sit on another dick". I get all that. But you also don't need marriage if that's your end goal. Just one potential path. Agreed. It's a metaphor, not meant to be taken literal. I don't actually think people are sex toys.

@Smika You’re fine. I’ve had all sorts of weird physical symptons that come from your energy shifting and I know others do as well. Just let it do its thing, maybe back off from doing spiritual work for awhile if it gets too intense.

I would agree. It's not so much that I have a problem with monogamy as I can't understand why I would want to limit myself sexually. Even if I was in a LTR with a girl, it's fun for me to bring other people into your sex life. They're like sex toys. And I get off on group sex, it's one of my big turn ons.

@Cortex @Sahil Pandit @Etherial Cat Anybody remember this? Freshmen year theme song right here:

@ajasatya You made some good points and I can definitely see how people could potentially use marriage as a spiritual practice. So if two people really consciously decided that's what they wanted, that be cool. From my POV marriage though isn't an attractive option mostly because I don't care for monogamy. Every time I've been monogamous with a girl it ended up feeling forced and like I didn't even know why I was doing it. I also don't correlate sexual loyalty with being a good partner. If she wants to fuck somebody else I don't care, most people cheat at some point anyway. Just as long as she's okay with me doing the same.

@Lynnel Trust me you’re not alone on this. As much as we can say we are a stage orange culture, the reality is that most people I see have a completely dysfunctional relationship with success. You’re likely unconsciously holding yourself back because success is a very emotionally demanding thing. So we self sabotage without realizing it. Don’t just buy into the stories your mind tells you about why you can’t or shouldn’t be successful. Look for the fear that’s underneth those beliefs. Also, I would suggest going on a success-positive campagin. Surround yourself with people who view success in a positive way and see the way they view the world. Because there’s going to be slight changes in mindset that seperates you from them.

@Shroomdoctor Definitely sounds like some subconscious stuff going on. Dreams are really powerful clues if you know how to read them.

Yes. Also, yes. You can drastically change your emotional life by doing this work. I'm without a doubt the happiest I can remember in a long time. But it often gets worse before it gets better. So just be aware of that.