aurum

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Everything posted by aurum

  1. @ThomasT Be careful thinking that the money from a half a million dollar rental property is going to set you up for life. What if the real estate market tanks or the economy goes into recession, just like it always does? You're placing a lot of faith in that one decision. That being said, half a mil definitely is a really good start if you use it correctly. Considering you're 19, I think you should really take this time to explore. Just try and whole bunch of shit, whatever interests you at the moment. You're young, so you often don't have enough data to really say what you want out of life at this point. Just get a bunch of experiences, but also stick around good content like what Leo talks about.
  2. @TripleNipple Yes I would get a girlfriend. You need to have experiences.
  3. There's tons of different ways. Meditation, yoga, breathwork, bioenergetics, ho'oponopono, psychedelics, and reiki just to name a few.
  4. Yes and no. Yes because of all the spiritual stuff you've already heard. It's all one, you can't love someone until you love yourself, you are in charge of your emotions, etc. But I'd also argue that human contact is about as essential for the human experience as oxygen. Even animals interact with other animals and form various types of relationships. Is there a stage where maybe you're so enlightened that even that becomes irrelevant? I have no idea. Theoretically I guess there could be, but I don't think any of us are there yet.
  5. You'll probably never really know. From my biased perspective, it seems like an unnecessarily extreme move. It's not like you move to a monestary and that void feeling goes away. No, it just comes with you to the monestary. The only real benefit I see from doing something like that is you'll have more time to specifically devote to formal spiritual practices. That is a potential real gain. But I'd argue you could get more or less the same results without having to do that.
  6. Just stay sober and keep putting yourself out there. When you have those painful lessons, don't just ignore them. Reflect and become aware. Why did this happen? What could i have done better? Why did this hurt? Why did I need this to go well? Can I let this go? Your successes can also be healing because you realize that the world isn't as against you as you thought. They reinforce that good things can happen to you and that you deserve them. There's no magic pill that I've found. Even to this day, I still have experiences like what you're talking about. That's the conditioned mind. Just keep going out and being social as much as possible thoughout your day. Build a social circle. And stay present to those experiences that make you feel like you're going to die. When you're not doing that, work on your inner game via all the stuff Leo talks about.
  7. @Widdle Puppy Congrats for being willing to take action on this. Your problem isn't what you think it is. "Not celebrating the small victories" is a symptom of a deeper level issue. The reason pickup is so emotionally volatile is because, when done properly, you're being healed. Healing involves bringing up old emotional wounds, fears and destructive patterns that we've been conditioned into. So the answer to this: is that you don't. Fear and shame can't occupy the same space as joy and celebration. At the root cause, what really needs to happen is a purging of that low vibration type of energy. That doesn't mean to stop doing game until you've all these emotional problems. Keep going out and keep approaching. Find the ways that snap you into "state" so to speak and keep doing them. But also, consider doing inner game work. That would be things like meditation, yoga, etc. And answering questions like why do you need a girl's validation? Why do you need it to go well?
  8. That is the real answer. You're looking for some sort of technique that is going to change this. It won't. Focus on doing the real work instead. Otherwise, just do your work the best you can, stay away from the negative influences and then go home and do what really matters.
  9. @Roch People treat you the way you treat yourself and others. If you don't feel like people are treating you like an equal, ask yourself this: 1) How am I not treating others as an equal? 2) How do I not see myself as equal? Really contemplate on this.
  10. @Pilgrim Looks like you've got some shadow work to do surrounding your masculinity. I'd do some research on that and see what happens. I'd also get more clarity on your life purpose. You said: but that's simply not true. In fact, structure can actually enhance your ability to free flow when done properly. You might want to check out a book called Getting Things Done by David Allen. Good friend of mine, and a genius at not only creating structure but also enjoying himself. Getting more clarity on your life purpose will also increase the meaning that you get out of your work. You say you just like to free flow, but how much of the "free flowing" is actually just societal programming you're running on autopilot? With life purpose, you stop sleepwalking through life and consciously decide what matters to you. And it's one of the areas of my life where I feel the most masculine. You're on a mission, and you're going to accomplish that no matter what.
  11. @sneha I think it’s a lot of exploration and following your curiosities. Plus hard work. Your passions grow the more you put into them.
  12. @Gligorije Ask genuine questions, create commonalities.
  13. Todd is good. He is more technical than other people but it's effective. Tyler is my favorite because I relate a lot with his mindset towards things. But he's more of a spiritual teacher than a pickup teacher for me at this point. The only guy I really learn "game" off of at this point is Luke. He is more results oriented than the other guys, which I think turns a lot of people off.
  14. It’s only hypocritical if you look at it from a surface level and out of context. If you have a life purpose like she does that requires money to operate, than you’re being selfish by not making money. Now you could argue that she should be able to do it without money. But we live in a captialistic society where money is an incredibely useful tool. Why limit yourself? One more thing on this: people who complain that spiritual teachers charge for their services are in a scarcity mindset. Let’s break this down. You have a teacher that is providing massive value to you, often for free. And you don’t think you should give anything in return? You should WANT to pay them. It’s like when I see people bitch about Leo charging $35 for his booklist. How entitled can you get? This guy spent hours and hours putting that thing together to help you. Even if you never use the booklist, you should want to buy it simply as a way of saying “thank you”. I contriubute to people Patreons all the time if I like their work and I feel like it has helped me. I’m happy to do it. You also see this with rich people when they go out to dinner. When the bill comes, 10/10 times they will FIGHT to be the one to pay it. From a poverty / scarcity mindset, this makes no sense. Because the whole point of a poverty mindset is to converse resources. And yet, they are the one’s who are rich. And the guy who thinks he is winning by not paying is always broke. It’s a fear that you won’t have enough. It’s a fear that you don’t have the ability to get it back. And it’s a lie.
  15. @Ingit The map is not the territory. You would have no idea who Teal Swan is if she didn't charge for her services. Those workshops and YouTube videos don't pay for themselves. Read a book called Give And Take by Adam Grant.
  16. Because if you don't, you'll just stagnate and get comfortable. That will lead to a lot of pain. You're not even alive, you're just a body that continues to survive.
  17. I understand your concern. My goal in writing that was to help encourage MM1988 to be more deliberate in his intentions. To be proactive rather than reactive. And so that he can ultimately create Win/Win situations with girls, rather than Lose/Win. You could say that he should just "have a genuine conversation", but from my perspective that's not helpful advice in this context. This user has had continual problems with girls for a long time, so to tell him to just be genuine isn't useful. He needs actual feedback on his behavior.
  18. @BarkingTurtle I would try NoFap for starters. Different yoga poses for opening your sacral and root chakra might help as well.
  19. @LeoBacca It's only a waste of time if you make it a waste of time. I have many friends who are doing pickup that I would say are wasting their time. They just get drunk, go out to the bars and maybe fuck some girl. Their lives aren't really going anywhere. They're not really on any sort of path of mastery or life purpose. But you don't have to be like that. You can choose to make pickup part of your personal development. Yes, pickup will get you laid and get you experience with women. If you don't have that down, that's important to handle. But it can also teach you things about letting go, being processed oriented, being proactive, how to handle rejection etc etc. So it's up to you. Pickup is a tool, it's your intention of how you're going to use that tool that makes all the difference. No, it's not what you're doing to girls. At least it shouldn't be. Basically what you're saying is that you feel like you're taking value from girls when you approach them. And that's potentially true...if you suck at doing pickup. When you're actually good at pickup, it's the exact opposite. You coming up and talking to them will make their night. They will love you. I definitely agree that there are relationship specific skills that need to be developed. But you most definitely can improve your relationship by doing pickup. Because pickup will teach you about charisma and female psychology in general, which is invaluable even in a relationship.
  20. Not necessarily at all. Depending on the context, that actually could be a major sign you're doing something right. She trusts you and / or is qualifying herself to you. Some girls are also just more open than others. The way I would gauge it would be if she was dropping other indicators of interest. For instance, if I've been teasing her, making her laugh and getting her to chase, than her opening up is usually really good. But if you've had boring generic small talk for three minutes and she starts having a therapy session, than yeah, she's probably just unloading. Control the frame ahead of time. Don't give her the power to decide what kind of conversation it's going to be, you decide. If you want it to be sexual, be sexual. If you want it to be fun, be fun. If you want it to be friendly and boring, be friendly and boring. It's really just up to you.
  21. @Peter12 I know you're young, but the real answer is don't end up in this situation in the first place. You already drove your car off a cliff, and now you want to know how to reverse your car in the air before it crashes. Just don't drive off a cliff. In this case, that means you don't want to end up in a situation where she's basically friendzoned you and it feels like you're trying to claw your way out. No good. Instead, you should be somewhat flirty with every girl you meet. And if you want her as a friend then tell her that too. I know that doesn't really help you with this current girl, so here's my advice on that. Try teasing and flirting with her a bit. If she's not receptive and doesn't show any interest, don't make it a big deal. Still be friends. But also, I would stop messaging her. Girls will basically do what you want them to do. If she doesn't show any interest and you keep rewarding that behavior by giving her attention and affection, she will keep doing it. Conversely, if you draw a boundary by cutting off the messaging, you're making it known what is acceptable to you and what isn't. It doesn't mean she will automatically like you if you do that. Probably not to be honest. But you've got to see the bigger picture besides just this one girl. I know this might seem kind of complicated, so if you've got questions feel free to write back.
  22. Really read what you wrote here over again. The answers are staring you in the face. If I had to sum it up, I would say this: you don't like money. No one is going to force you to like money. That is ultimately your choice. But your choices do have consequences, and so if you're tired of being broke, I suggest you choose something different. You will never make money if you don't want money. Period. It is impossible. You need to get away from the hippie people and start soaking in some pro-money sources. People who actually think it's a good thing if you make money and become successful. See how they view the world, and how their mindset has led them to drastically different places than where you are now. For instance, you defined money as "a unit that has property of having a chance to make a human being do whatever". Already you're viewing money as this negative thing that has power over you. It doesn't. Rich people would say something like "money itself is neutral. It's merely a medium of exchange for value". That's a much more positive definition, which is going to lead them to be more motivated to becoming wealthy. No one wants to think that they are a bad person. If you think having money means you're going to end up exploiting people, you'll NEVER allow yourself to make it. Never. It's too much against your self-image. Try this belief instead: people who don't want to make money are typically selfish. You have limited resources with which to help anybody, just like with your family. When you have money, now you have the tools to make a positive impact.
  23. @non_nothing I would examine your relationship to money. What do you believe about it? Do you believe making money is unconscious or not spiritual? Do you think it’s impossible for you to make money? Did your parents fight about money growing up? What are your best and worst experiences around money? It’s likely that you’ve got an unconscious story that’s stopping you from making money. See if you can bring awareness to what that story is. Also, I would challenege yourself to read something like The Millionaire Booklet by Grant Cardone. Notice when and where resistance pops up when reading that. That will give you clues.
  24. @F A B Because it’s fake. “I can’t live without you”? Lie. ”Your love is all I need to feel complete”? Lie. If you listen to the mainstream definition of love, you’re going to have problems.