aurum

I agree, which is why I feel PUA can serve a role for guys. These are mostly insights I've had coming out of that phase, where I'm challenging whether or not casual hookups is something I really want to continue. Which doesn't mean that phase wasn't necessary.

You are way wiser than I was at 17. I would not have even been contemplating these sorts of things. Just keep following your heart and your intuition. Keep learning and growing. The world tends to change very slowly, but it will change one conscious decision at the time. Don't underestimate the seemingly small and insignificant moments that don't seem world changing. Everything we do matters, even if we can't understand it.

In that case, I would say you're on a good path and to stay the course with what you are doing. Don't jump into a business too fast because it's shiny and seems like it could make you money fast. This time you have where your parents are supporting you is a gift that will not last forever. I'd be spending the vast majority of my time on self-actualization / spiritual work, learning about the world and myself, and experimenting with different creative projects to see what lights me up. And yes, I'd save as much money as I can. "Real life" living can often be way more expensive than we anticipate if you're used to having your bills paid. Starting a business is no joke and can sometimes take millions of dollars just to get off the ground. That's like one round of VC funding. So don't underestimate your startup costs. But also don't get so overwhelmed that it seems impossible and that you'll never be able to afford it, because it's not. You can find ways to do things cheaper. Final thing would be to be careful with what you invest in. Investing should be something you do once you are already relatively financially stable. It is NOT a path to getting rich or funding your first business. Anything that gets you rich from investing is going to be highly risky. And anything that barely moves the needle is going to be safe. If you want to fund your business, I would make sure your income can support it. Bootstrap whatever you can and / or find investors.

@Alfonsoo I've been involved in a couple start ups at this point. Honestly, it's a lot of trial and error and just "winging it". It's tempting to think you can just follow a formula from a book, but in practical it doesn't really work that way. If you share more about your business I can give you more specific advice. But in general, put your product online and start advertising. You can use either social media or paid ads. Build a sales funnel. Track your financials with something like Quickbooks. You can find employees on Indeed or Craigslist if you need that. Get a payroll company. File for either an LLC or or some sort of other business entity and get an EIN to pay your taxes. That's about as broad of advice that I can give. Ready, Fire, Aim is a decent book that might help you. You can also look into start up incubators if you think your business would be a good fit for that. If you need funding, there's websites where you do crowdfunding or get angel investors.

Both genders are self-deceived in thinking that casual sex will ultimately fulfill them. You cannot compare the experience of a casual hookup versus "making love". It's like eating some stale crackers versus a home cooked, freshly made meal. Granted, men may be more willing to eat the crackers than women for various reasons. But most guys are a lot more love-starved than they are sex-starved. Casual sex is a sort of "holding back" of love. What you really want is to shower that person in love and pour everything into them. To give yourself fully over. And for them to do the same.

@SaltyMeatballs It's not easy, the industry isn't exactly filled with high integrity people. I would highly recommend that you find someone who focuses on the bigger picture of self development / becoming an attractive man, rather than just turning you into a PUA robot. Screen their content to see what they're teaching. You don't want to get stuck in PUA too long and you'll have much more overall life satisfaction if you take the right path. I've definitely found a correlation between guys who are a little too good at pick up and being self-destructive. You can maybe learn from those guys, but be careful.

@Milos Uzelac I appreciate what this film is doing by highlighting the ecological dangers of the military. At the same time, anyone who claims to have found they "one true cause" for the ecological crisis is suspect to me. There is no simple, singular, overarching cause to blame. And I am suspicious of narratives that attempt to do so, as they tend to lead to overly simple, half-baked solutions.

Why don't you want her to be a "hoe"?

@StarStruck If you are having good interactions are girls are continually flaking you, then I'd say it's time to start looking for a deeper root cause. I'd suggest to you that your problem is the entire environment / context in which you are meeting these girls. PUA basically turns you into the equivalent of a dating telemarketer, running up to random girl and then trying to close the "deal" in a couple minutes. Even if you are the world's best telemarketer, you are going to get hung up on tons of times. And even the best cold approach PUAs get tons of flakes and rejections. In the PUA community, this is basically addressed by saying "do more approaches bro, it's a number's game bro, try harder bro". But that fails to address that what they're doing isn't actually that effective. I would encourage you instead to start thinking about setting up your life in such a way so that you don't have to be a dating telemarketer. But instead, you can be that person that people naturally gravitate towards. I'm also not telling you to give up cold approach or to quit PUA. I'm just telling you to start looking at the bigger picture. Ask better questions. Instead of asking "how can I cold approach better?", maybe ask "how can I create a situation where people are approaching me?". Or "how can I build deep relationships?". That's going to put you on a much different path.

@Gabith Personally the book was a miss for me. Just didn’t land. But if you’re getting value of it, that’s all that matters. Books can be absolutely life changing for some people and do absolutely nothing for others. It’s all about timing, upbringing, your specific stage of development and the lessons your soul is seeking to learn.

@Striving for more I would cut out whatever “black pill” sources of info you are consuming. Your perspective is not “lining up with the evidence” at all. It’s lining up with cherry picked evidence and confirmation bias, which you don’t see how you’re doing. I would challenge you to find as many examples as you can which refute the statements you just made.

@Consilience Good stuff man. You may have gotten a little nervous towards the end, but overall it sounds like your instincts are solid. I also like how natural this was. Just having fun with your friends, meeting strangers when the opportunity presented itself and engaging the whole group. If this girl was part of your regular social circle, I’d bet you’d be well on your way to something evolving between you two. One critique I’d make would be to work on setting up more definitive plans in the future. Something more concrete than “we should hangout again if you’re ever in my city”. And I wouldn’t necessarily wait until the last moment like that when she’s about to leave. That’s gonna put pressure on you. Also, it feels to me like your ideas about bro-code were really just excuses. It was all good when you were just chatting, but then you knew you had to “do” something and “get” something from her. And your mind likely started pulling excuses, like “bro-code”, in order to keep you safe. Nothing to do about it, just be aware.

@Anon212 Tough call. It doesn’t sound to me like you’re very enthusiastic about the PhD, sounds like it’s mostly just a job for you. And that’s okay, most of us have taken a job at some point we weren’t super passionate about because, hey, we got bills. And you never know where an opportunity like this might lead you in the future. You’re young enough that 5 years doing a PhD will still only put you at 26. And it doesn’t sound like you really have any other tangible plan. At the same time, I obviously hesitate to push you in a direction if you really don’t feel good about it. You’ve ultimately got to follow your intuition. You are the captain of your ship, and part of that power includes the responsibility of making tough choices like this. If you do intend to turn down the PhD, I’d start working out some sort of alternate plan as soon as possible.

@BartekD Lol this guy’s studio was right next to my apartment in Miami. Thought about becoming a member but tbh it seemed to me more like flash than functional training. Although I’m sure far better than being sedentary.

@Raptorsin7 If there is, I haven't found it. Each relationship style could be in alignment for that person or simply a result of following their conditioning. Usually it's a mix of both. There certainly is a bias for monogamy in mainstream culture. Monogamy brought social stability as humanity broke out of communal living and become more individualistic. But if you swim in circles outside the mainstream, like the new-age community, you can find people with a strong bias for polyamory and other "non-traditional" styles of relationships.

No-fap can help some guys but you'd be wise to not get stuck there. If you're avoiding dating / relationships and using PMO as a coping strategy, that's problematic. In that case, no-fap might do very well for you. Also, if you're someone who has been watching porn since you hit puberty and don't know anything else, that is also highly problematic. You need to experience real sexuality, not what has been concocted by the porn industry to make a profit off of you. But someone could also go down the path of using no-fap for sexual repression as Leo pointed out. So there's traps everywhere guys. The key is self-awareness and introspection to understand your situation and what will benefit you.

Not any more than the rest of animal. You might as well not eat meat at all. Considering the organs are the most nutrient dense part of the animal and I eat meat from sources that are relatively clean, I’ll take my chances.

@ivankiss As a musician I’m resonating a lot with what you wrote. We would all love to just make our music, but alas, those pesky bills remain. And it can be quite the journey to getting to a place where you’re making a full time income with music. To your point about finding your true “musical identity”, that is also something I’ve struggled with. Perhaps it’s because we have access to any genre or style of music at the click of a button that it seems more confusing than ever to figure out where you fit. For me, the answer comes back to looking at what music I truly love listening to. Because if I love listening to it, that means there’s likely something in my heart that resonates with that and wants to create something similar. That answer has changed after having done a lot of spiritual work. The music I like now tends to be lighter and more heart-felt. Music that just feels like peace and love. I suspect you’ll see the same process happen for you, if it hasn’t already. I wouldn’t try to figure out your musical identity with your mind. It’s not there. It will reveal itself as you write. So just make music that you love, damn worrying about fitting into any sort of musical box.

@Clarity808 You need a partner you are sexually attracted to. Otherwise ya’ll are just really good friends. If this guy isn’t doing it for you, I’d start by letting him know. I understand you may wish he would figure this out on his own, but there’s a good chance he never will unless you communicate. If the situation doesn’t improve after that you’ll have to look at other options.

@charlie cho Saw it when I was a teenager. It definitely brings home a nice message about hard work over genetics. Maybe a bit too simplistic, but still a good message for people looking for success motivation. I definitely remember it firing me up.

@TheDao I’m skeptical of vitamin d supplements in general. So yeah not surprising.

@Human Mint Processed garbage, toss it in the trash.

@sausagehead I’m not a fan simply because everyone I see who goes on coffee eventually needs it just to function. It becomes a crutch. Meanwhile I feel like I have energy all day, never crash and never drink coffee. If you’re having energy problems, I’d look more root level.

Unless you know that you’re insulin resistant / metobolically unhealthy, I wouldn’t worry about cholesterol. From the research I’ve done, LDP-P is correlated but not casual to atherosclerosis. It much more depends on the health of the individual. If I were you I’d add the animals back in. And make sure you’re getting the highest quality there is, none of that factory farmed stuff. Just my opinion.

I’ve written music for film and done a little bit of acting.