aurum

@Joyful Silence Meet Mindful: https://www.meetmindful.com/ Lua: https://www.lua.earth/

No. What you need is conceptual knowledge that is appropriate given your personal experience. Conceptual knowledge beyond that becomes mental masturbation and can actually hurt your results. You have too many theories and maps with no grounding in what they actually mean, which then leads to excess confusion. Don’t assume that more theory = more understanding. Understanding comes from doing, from which the theory can only then help explain your experiences and help you make sense of them in a positive way. Don’t underestimate how easy of a trap this is to fall into. Lots of guys do, because learning theory while watching YouTube is a lot easier than doing approaches and having to work to make sense of your experiences. Of course, there is also the trap of not doing any conceptual learning. In which case you might have a lot of experience, but very flawed ways of interpreting it. A blind intuitive feel that could be heavily biased from your cultural programming. But for guys studying social dynamics, it’s almost always the first trap. Studying is what they’re comfortable with. Actually going out is much harder. If I had to pick between the two, I’d much rather be the guy with tons of personal experience than the guy with all the conceptual knowledge.

@Karmadhi I'd say you're generally correct. Your value as a guy tends to be way more dynamic than static like it is for women. At the same time, there is quite a bit women can do. Even if we just take the most superficial level, a lot of women could vastly improve how guys perceived them if they exercised regularly and ate right. I understand that's shallow and objectifying, but it would work. And considering I hold myself to that same standard, I don't find it unreasonable. These are things everyone should be doing, even just for their own health. Then add in some self-actualization / life purpose / spiritual work and she would be total wifey material, especially for a guy who is less superficial and more developed. And all of this is within your control to do. So there is still quite a bit of leverage, even for women.

Go and test. Whatever idea you have in your mind of what you think will work with girls, just go do it. That will give you a better answer than anything we can tell you. You’ve got to see yourself as a human guinea pig when it comes to this kind of stuff. Try acting like James Bond. Then try acting like Russel Brand. Then try like your favorite PUA instructor. Just try everything. Your subsconscious will figure it out as long as you’re learning your lessons each time you go out.

Why do you care? Introspect on that belief. Why is it bad if a girl you picked up sees you with another girl you picked up? Don’t go for the right answer, look for the answer that feels true for you. Maybe it’s that if they see you with another girl, she will think you’re a fuckboy / player and not want to date you. Or maybe you’re afraid to see yourself that way. Dig on that and things will be clearer.

The problem is that then you're no longer on a fast. Coconut water has significant calories + carbs. So yes, it might help when breaking a fast. But you can't say you're still fasting at that point if that is your goal. Also, I think too much coconut water is not good either. It's a diuretic and so I find I can only drink so much of it. Better to just supplement your electrolytes with Snake Juice if you're serious about doing a long term fast. Cole from Snake Diet has also recommended drinking urine while fasting. His argument is that urine has all the electrolytes you need plus tons of other good stuff that doesn't break your fast. I'll leave that one up to whoever is reading this to decide.

Not doubting you, just curious where you heard that. Also, for what it’s worth, I saw your fasting video and had a very similar experience. Went about 12ish days on water and had to call it off because it got so bad. I didn’t supplement with electrolytes, which in retrospect was likely foolish, but even still I would have likely had to call it off. And I don’t have SIBO or anything autoimmune related. Fasting seems great if you are already overweight or have a serious health condition. But I mostly stay away from long fasts these days. OMAD / intermittent fasting works well with me, plus maybe a 48-72 hour every once in a while.

@WonderSeeker Part of the problem is the way we treat material goods in modern society. Ideally, most things wouldn’t things wouldn’t get thrown away after they are used. They would be more of a circular economy where goods are recycled. Because even if your whole city does not litter, eventually it will end up in a landfill. Which means you are littering. There is no such thing as throwing something “away”.

@TheAlchemist Good question. My thinking is that humanity is on a non-linear growth path at the moment. If you look at statistics around population growth, resource use, technological innovation etc, you’ll see these things have all been expanding exponentially. Spiral dynamics seems to match that exponential curve. Of course, such an exponential curve is unlikely to last. You’re not going to have exponential population growth forever. This is a temporary phenomena, like the “grow spurt” of an adolescence. Thus, if there are stages after turquoise, I’d doubt they will continue to unfold in an exponential way. Although I’m purely speculating.

I get it, not saying it’s easy. Keep going to therapy and taking the next step. I’m simply trying to expose to you where I feel you’re off course. The good news is that they don’t necessarily even have to be close friends. When I say “friends”, I’m including the door guy who you say hello to every time you go to your favorite venue and who knows you by name. Or that random pickup guy you met off a pua forum and now you’re winging each other. Friends can be casual. You just need more social alliances. From there, if you have a small group of close friends who you’re more intimate with, that’s even better.

“One” guy friend??? That’s like saying you’re going into war with a little water pistol. You should have a whole army of friends. No wonder you’re getting demolished. They don’t necessarily have to be into “pickup” in terms of actively studying and being part of the community. They just have to approach. Or be willing to sit there while you approach at the least. I’m telling you, the more cool guy friends you make, the easier this whole thing is. Female friends are good too. They don’t have to do anything but just be attractive and be around you. And if they introduce you to their friends, even better.

So she wants to marry you, but she doesn’t love you? I think the obvious answer here is that this girl is just not that attracted to you. She probably sees you as a very good guy who would be there and support her. Which is nice. But it’s not enough. Possibly you could communicate your desires and rekindle the fire. Couples have done it. But considering she is repulsed by you touching her anywhere sexually, I’d say this one is done. Time to move on.

Krystal from Rising and Kyle from Secular Talk have formed a podcast. Knowing this crowd, I'd figured you'd all appreciate this. Their first guest was Marianne Williamson. I felt she was easily one of the best democratic nominees for president so it was great to see her on the show. And amazing to see that someone who identifies with non-dual teachings did as well as she did during the race. I also love how fierce Marianne is at times in this interview. Goes to show that Love doesn't always have to look like holding hands and cuddling. She's determined to say what she needs to say, even at the risk of personal attack. From a spiral dynamics perspective, it's also interesting to notice Krystal and Kyle's reaction to her. You can see both of them challenging some of their rational stage Orange programming towards the end of the show. It's like watching evolution in motion.

@StarStruck You need friends who also approach. Or at the very least cool with your approaching. Yes, you want to be able to approach solo. But there’s no reason to do that every time. Friends make everything easier.

The Coffeezilla YT channel is one of my new favorite finds. He does a great job exposing what Leo refers to as the "deep problem of marketing" within the self-help world. Essentially, stage Orange and Game A thinking run amuck. Since everyone here is into self-help, I feel it's a good idea for all of us to be aware of how the industry operates and some of its shadows. Don't get scammed by these fools.

@RoerAmit I've done coaching in the past, although I've moved more into energy healing than pure coaching. Life coaching can work IF you've done a lot of work on yourself and overcome a lot of your biases. The main skill set of life coaches is to ask powerful questions, but for this you need to be conscious of what questions even need to be asked. Ultimately, people will change because they desire to change and they are ready to change. Not because of coaching superpowers. But if someone is both willing and ready, then a coach can help be a facilitator for that change. Same thing with healing work. The best healer in the world cannot make someone heal. But they can facilitate healing for people looking to really heal. My personal opinion, I would stay away from branding yourself as a life coach. It's not immediately obvious to people what the value of a life coach is. And there's so many life coaches out there that it can be challenging to really stand out. I would be more specific in how you help people. Provide something unique, something that only you can bring to the table. If that means being a life coach for a couple of years before you figure that out, fine. But IMO just becoming a life coach is not a great strategy.

@Scholar I'm going to disagree with everyone in this thread and say that veganism is not even part of the solution. Yes, factory farming is horrific. I've watched Earthlings and Cowspiracy, those documentaries will give you nightmares. And I understand that people think that veganism is going to save the ecology. But veganism is just not the answer. It's at best a step in the right direction, but no more. What people really want is to be deeply connected to their food, and to feel like we are treating animals as sacred. But that does not preclude eating an animal. In fact, it can include it. Ancient cultures understood this.

My point was that question is reductionistic. It's not as simple as "choose wealthy or middle-class". There are far more variables to consider. And these variables are not often discussed because of our stage Orange culture.

@Hardkill Yes and no. We can think of modern capitalism as a competitive game for "scarce" resources. In this competitive, scarcity based game, the 1% could be considered the winners. They have accumulated the scarce resources and all the benefits that entails. And make no mistake, those benefits to your survival are real. As Grant Cardone loves to point out, money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you education, food, health-care, etc. That is what incentivizes us to keep competing. If the scarce resources weren't worth anything to your survival, why play the game? If money didn't pay the bills, why work for money? The conclusion people draw from all of this is that while money maybe can't directly buy happiness, it certainly is better in our system to be rich than poor. And in some ways they are right. It's the Wolf of Wall Street scene: But this kind of thinking is mostly just rationalizations to increase your survival advantage in the system. Here is what is missing: a) That we do not have to live under an economic system based primarily on competition and artificial scarcity. b) That under such a system which inevitably generates "winners" and "losers", the winners will always still be insecure in their position ("yeah I'm winning now, but what if I become a loser???") c) That exploitation and extraction, of both people and planet, is inevitable under such a system d) That highly polarized winners and losers erodes people's self-esteem e) That personal accumulation erodes public abundance, e.g everyone owning land versus collective ownership of the commons f) That personal accumulation fails to meet real needs past a certain point anyway g) That such a system is unsustainable because of the inequality and social ills it generates ^this kind of thinking is the wisdom that seems to start to come online at SD Green. Notice that stage Orange self-help books tend not to talk about this. Their goal is not to have you question the system itself, it's to help you become successful within the system that we have. Those are two very different goals. Of course, there can be some overlap. I'm not suggesting anyone reading this to stop accumulating money. But there is less incentive to talk about these issues, because talking about this does not serve your survival. It's to your survival advantage, at least in the short term, to ignore everything I've just said and assume the system we have is great. By assuming that pro-system position, you'll be rewarded with more resources by the system.

@freejoy I can't say I've done any of those things, nor do I know personally know anyone who has. But yes, it appears to be possible from the accounts of yogis and other evolved beings. About the Laws of Nature, I think everyone would benefit from Rupert Sheldrake's perspective on this. Essentially, Sheldrake argues there are no laws of nature. Only deep "habits" of nature. When a habit becomes significantly ingrained, we call it a "law" because we are so used to it. But in truth, no laws are immutable. Which to me is what we should have to expect from Absolute Infinity.

@jjer94 That's definitely one of those "doesn't even seem real" kind of moments. Glad to hear you're okay. I'll echo what everyone said about taking some time for self-care, whatever that means to you. Although I'm sure you already know that. My thoughts are that we have to do two things at once. On the one hand, we have a deep, systemic crisis that is coming to a head on simultaneous fronts. Which is of course even more fundamentally a spiritual crisis. Those kinds of changes are long and take time. Society doesn't shift overnight, although I will say it feels subjectively to me like the rate of change is speeding up. So we have to solve for that crisis at the root level. But in the mean time, people are getting shot. And it seems wise to me that we should manage those symptoms as well as possible, even if it doesn't fix the root. Public policy is our big tool in this area. Government is what we have and we should use it. Stricter gun control seems like an obvious choice. These are all good points.

I've hired sales people before. It's very simple. They want to know that you can sell. The very first thing I'm looking for on any candidates resume is if they have a proven track record of sales. Now, it's possible that someone could have great potential in sales but be unproven. But don't expect the hiring manager to see that. They are looking to take as little risk as possible, especially since if they make a bad hire it could reflect poorly on them. Convince them that you can sell whatever they want you to sell and you'll be fine. If they actually ask that question, I would just facepalm. There's absolutely no context to that question, so your answer would have to be as general as possible.

@asha176 Learn from other people. Study, read books, watch YT videos, etc. There's endless advice out there. But ultimately, the real trick is that you have to learn to connect to your own intuition. What feels best to you? This is not an easy question because we have all sorts of conditioning that can confuse us. So learn to listen to your own Voice.

The trap is that true morality looks like what happens after awakening. But since most people aren't awakened, the best a spiritual teacher can do is give a sort of list of things you'd do after awakening. Golden Rule and all that. But Jesus didn't come to the Golden Rule through some other spiritual teacher, he derived it for himself by awakening. In that sense, preaching morality is like giving the answers in the back of a math book to students. The transformation and wisdom comes from having going through a process where you discover true morality for yourself. Not because someone just told you to. That would lead to devilry, because you wouldn't actually understand it and would abuse all the teachings. Which is of course if often what happens, thus religion becomes corrupted.

@Ellenier Materialists gonna materialist. There's a million of these guys. There's critiques of Leo that can be made, but there's nothing unique or insightful about his debunking that I saw.