aurum

@riplo Nice job. Are you still going out alone? Now that you can approach, you might want to start thinking about building more of a social circle.

Yes, that is one of the main appeals. You can assert yourself.

Masculinity tends to have an "edge" to it. It feels intense and even potentially dangerous, like looking at a tiger that could maul you. You really have to control and balance it out, or it becomes very destructive.

This objection itself has many holes. There’s no reason that what is useful must also be true. In fact, it’s often the opposite. Deception and bending the truth is one of the most useful tools for survival.

One echo chamber will get replaced with another until the mind develops sufficient capacity for complexity.

That’s essentially the same rationale the manosphere uses. If she shaved her head and put on a pair of sunglasses, she’d be Andrew Tate. It is good to wise up to the games men play though if you’re a woman. So I can understand the appeal in that sense. A lot of women have dealt with extremely exploitative men and may struggle with advocating for themselves. The challenge is filtering out the toxicity.

It’s toxic to herself first and foremost. In some ways, she is the main victim here. Her mind is poisoned and she will never be able to have a healthy relationship because of it. Whatever damage is done to men is only secondary.

Manosphere for women. And just as toxic.

Oh yes, the princess flip. That definitely does not work and often just feels awkward or even emasculating. Another misconception I've seen is women thinking that because a man shows a lot of investment in one area of his life, that it will translate over to her. Like if he's super passionate about a hobby, then he will be passionate about investing in our relationship, right? Well...maybe. It's usually not that straightforward. You can potentially compartmentalize investment, such that you are passionate in one area but slack in another. In fact, he might be so heavily invested in whatever else he is doing that the relationship just feels like a distraction. Women are better off just screening for more compatible guys than trying to win investment.

The hyper-subjectification is definitely real. I see it as a function of her survival agenda, which is essentially to lock down a particular guy. So of course once she finds "that guy" she is going to be head-over-heels for him and tune out the rest. Glad you made it through all that. Sounds like it could have been traumatic, but you alchemized it. That takes serious strength.

Do you see this a-rational lens as a form of unconditional love? From my experience on the other side of the "hyper-particularization" fence, it's true that a woman's love is strong. Occasionally I even feel the need to safeguard her boundaries because she's willing to burn it all down in the name of loving me. And I'm certainly not someone who checks every "objective" box. At the same time, I have a hard time seeing that as feminine, a-rational appreciation of my innate self-worth. And I don't feel that particularly bothers me either. I don't need her to just love my innate worth. I fully expect her love to be at least somewhat conditional, just as mine is.

@manuel bon I took a course. Honestly I felt like it was a bit of a waste. People talk about being able to feel the Craniosacral rhythm and moving structures, but I wasn't able to notice anything. It's basically just holding people. I would like to believe there's something to it. Maybe there are some exceptional practitioners with skills I just don't have. But it's hard to believe given my experience and its complete lack of scientific validation. At the very least, I think many people are definitely bullshitting themselves about its efficacy. Curious to hear how your experience goes, let us know.

“Fire”? You are talking about taking huge chunks of territory from six sovereign nations, one of which is a significant partner with the US (Saudi Arabia). It’s basically a plan for endless war.

There are zionists who even apparently believe in Greater Israel.

"Serious" is a function of commitment. If you were serious about becoming a star soccer player, you wouldn't just kick a ball around every once in a while. You'd commit and put the work in everyday, for as long as it took. That's the kind of relationship I'm talking about. "Heart" is the emotional connection that drives commitment and bonding. You're in love with that person, and that person in particular. They are not just easily replaceable, despite whatever Beyonce might say. Whether that leads to monogamy or some other structure doesn't ultimately matter. Monogamy will work best for most people and for society as a whole, but a mature couple can decide for themselves where they stand on the monogamy continuum.

You'll be alright. Just start planning for a serious relationship at some point. And think a little bit less with your dick and little bit more with your heart. Fundamentally the problem with being German guy is loneliness and lack of romance. Sex matters too of course, but even sex can be a proxy for deeper connection.

That's mostly for young broke dudes. Once they're older and have cash, they evolve into that German guy .

Great example of how collective survival and corruption works. The women benefit by making money to take care of their family, their kids benefit by getting fed, the guys benefit by getting some relief from their loneliness / horniness, and the city benefits from the tourist revenue. Even the cops benefit if you've got a big bag of money laying around .

That's a good point. When it comes to becoming a boyfriend, he certainly might not be worrying about that at all. So if she doesn't worry about it, it might not happen either.

A date will not even happen if someone isn't thinking about the outcome. Usually it's the guy.

I get it. It's definitely good if a guy can be more carefree. I'm just explaining why often they are not. If you're a woman and feel like you can just relax and not worry about the outcome, that's because he's worrying about the outcome.

It's simpler than that. It's because if you don't heavily focus on the outcome, nothing happens. You mostly cannot rely on women to initiate things.

I think that's mostly my issue. In theory, there's nothing wrong with it. Some people might be more conservative and be more comfortable with a traditional relationship. In that case overseas could be a better option.

Dude, you are going to less developed countries so you can take advantage of the fact that women have less power. This is not some enlightened perspective you have on the limitations of egalitarianism in dating.