aurum

@Valach Good question. The most important thing is that you are not excessively needy, NOT that you actually date 10 women. Just knowing that you have the skills to go out and meet someone if you choose is usually enough. Get a reasonable amount of success with women under your belt and have a larger vision for your life. Don't get stuck thinking about any one woman until the actual time comes for commitment, keep going out. Obviously at some point if you want a LTR, you will have to be more emotionally invested. But this is not a problem as long as it doesn't cross a threshold. There's no easy answer to where that threshold is, you just have to use your head. If you're staying centered on your larger vision and the relationship is strong, that's a sign you've probably not crossed it.

"Not possible" is too strong. But yes, it will likely make it harder. You are going to be spending more time doing survival, since you will have more responsibilities.

The idea that knifes are as powerful as guns for mass killing is an excuse. If knifes were that powerful, we would have never evolved guns. Militaries and police use guns because they are superior killing tools. Guns outcompeted knives.

The fact that you know the exact number of approaches you've done tells me you're likely taking a hyper-logical approach. Are you having fun when you approach? Do you smile and laugh a lot? It's going to be harder for you than some other guys. Can you still meet someone? Yes. But be mindful of your expectations.

Then you got to find a solution to why cold approach isn't working for you. Forget about Tinder for a while and purely focus on that. Do you need different venues to go out? Do you need to move cities? More theory? Approach anxiety? A different style? Where is the biggest place you're struggling with cold approach?

@pablo_aka_god it sounds like you’re not catching serious momentum with cold approach. If you were doing well with cold approach, you would forget all about Tinder.

@Zenterus good stuff. There are definitely tradeoffs to being direct. And directness is definitely a spectrum, not a binary. Some situations require more directness, some less. You should be able to hit the gas and the brakes just as easily.

@Hezbollah if you've got that much money, you might have success with social circle. Have tried throwing events?

@CARDOZZO never had any luck with any of that. And I tried a lot. The closest thing I get to an OBE is an altered-dream state that happens on nights with poor sleep. The dreams are hyper-lucid and hyper-real in terms of imagery and emotions. Sometimes there are messages for me, where I feel like I'm tapped into a deeper level of my mind. I will often be flying, jumping huge distances or falling.

Lol. Belongs in the conformity examples mega-thread.

"...I made 5 professional, feature length films" he whispers as he closes his eyes and makes his ascent

@Artsy value is survival value. Just ask yourself: "what would help her survive?". That question will explain everything.

This would be such a cool idea for a film itself. A Neil Breen type cult director has been sparking debate about whether he's a genius or complete hack. Some film students investigate his life. In the end, they uncover evidence that could reveal the truth, but they choose to destroy and preserve the mystery. The audience never knows. Any aspiring filmmakers reading this want to make it happen?

Well I watched Double Down by Neil Breen. I would love if he turned out to be a secret genius. Concocted this character of a well-meaning, but delusional director who...tried. If so, I hope he takes the secret to his grave. Keep everyone guessing.

Never forget the rules:

It's tradition:

It was traumatic, but no one is pretending it didn't happen.

They don't need to "chase" you. Chasing is actually problematic. What you actually want is surrender. There is a difference.

All these issues have been discussed ad nauseam. And they continue to be discussed, even though COVID doesn’t dominate the headlines everyday. I’m not really sure what you are expecting. People have to move on with their lives.

Yeah, because life goes on. We are onto new problems, new situations that require attention. COVID was years ago at this point. How much do you really expect it to still be at the center of mainstream conversation?

People have done almost nothing but talk about COVID.

Yeah I'm not following this. We have better models than Freud or Lacan for understanding masculinity / femininity.

@enzyme Awesome, keep going!

Buddhist conformity:

What I like: she is genuinely skilled at identifying issues in relationships and patterns people have. Helpful for people who have been through trauma and are looking for real solutions. What I don't like: she gets too caught up in new age fantasies. Her political takes are often questionable or flat out wrong. And she struggles to actually embody the polarity concepts she speaks about.