aurum

Pickup is NOT just talking to people. Conflating these two things is a mistake. Pickup is far more involved. And it's more of modern phenomena than something humans have simply always done. Which is why we need modern solutions. Pickup theory goes far beyond talking. Pickup theory includes feminine psychology, social psychology, logistics, how to find venues, how to work staff, state management, online game, general networking principles and more. None of this is just obvious. And if it is obvious, then congrats. You are not the audience for learning pickup. But this does not make it invalid for guys who do need it. This is a false either / or binary. Of course you need to talk to people. And yes, that alone will help to some degree. But if you were serious about learning pickup, you would not stop there. Anymore than you would tell people to only play their instrument and never study how it works. You need to do both. Pickup theory is also motivating for going out and talking to people. Otherwise you are essentially asking guys to just try what they have always likely tried and failed at. No one is motivated to just go out and get socially punched in the face again. This is where you are wrong. Learning pickup is an outcome driven activity, very much like starting a business. Of course pickup also requires you to have fun, which is somewhat different than starting a business. But regardless, someone learning it needs to take that challenge on with equal seriousness. Otherwise they will fail. No, theory is not just about dropping theory. Theory has value on its own merits. The creepy pickup artist you're describing was creepy long before he learned about pickup theory. There are many reasons why guys are creepy, and it's not because they read theory. Theory will help make you less creepy. You're continuing to create a false binary here of either I can learn theory, or let things go and connect with people / be intuitive. Yes, at some point you need to let go of so much theory. But that does not make learning theory invalid. They build on top of each other.

It's the opposite. The more intuitively well-adjusted you are, the less theory you need. Theory is for when you're not where you want to be, which is most guys who are struggling with dating. You can potentially get in your head by consuming theory, but it's silly to therefore frame theory as simply a "bonus". It is not a bonus for guys who struggle, it's essential. The whole point of theory is that we're tackling problems beyond your current skill set. So walking doesn't apply. Sure, you could try to sit down and "just play music". But good luck with that.

That doesn't hold with music or with women. Everyone uses theory. It's just a question of how much and how good it is. Anyone who is serious about something will put in effort to learn the theory, or you're just being foolish.

Interesting. I've never heard him say that.

I wouldn't go that far. You should be able to describe. It just usually won't satisfy others.

Nothing will seem like a satisfying description without an awakening.

Speculating, but I wonder if Ralston has gotten trapped in his own survival paradigm. If you regard everything as survival or ego-agenda, it's easy to conclude love is just a human feeling. If that was the case, Ralston would be right to dismiss it as not Truth or ontological. The problem is that's not the case. It turns out love is not just human feelings.

It's all good, no insult taken.

You can find a ton of SD Green communities in Sedona.

I'm genuinely not trying to sass you though. When I have a conversation with people, I do not think about any step-by-step framework.

Okay, so use that framework.

Such nonsense.

This has been answered so many times before. The problem is fundamentally that you're looking at it from a human POV that is trying to avoid suffering.

#SolipsismJokes

You didn’t ask for it, but it needs to be said. Because the premise of what you’re asking for is questionable at best. The assumption is that better conversation can be had by outlining more linear steps. But conversation is non-linear and open looped. Steps are beneficial when you have a specific outcome in mind. Like making a sale. When you’re talking with your girlfriend or family during dinner, you don’t need steps. Steps would just get in the way and make it feel forced.