aurum

@BlessedLion I have a whole project I'm working on where I will be talking about Tier 2 relationships. Attraction is one of those modules. Ignoring the really advanced metaphysics, the best way to think about attraction is as a black box of survival factors. You don't know every detail of what triggers attraction, nor do you control it. But we do have strong patterns. Just ask yourself: what is the survival calculus here? When it's positive, the black box spits out attraction. If it's neutral or negative, no attraction or even the "ick".

I'd say no, assuming it's still early on and you're not misrepresenting yourself. If you're married and she's still not sure, that's a problem. Neither fuckboyness or bf-material-ness is the issue. The issue is when and how much.

There's probably a realistic middle. Little bit of fuckboy isn't bad. Especially in the beginning. Mom game

Yes that narrative is a bit simplistic. It can work to some degree, but I think it's also worth letting go of at a certain point.

I don't think it's so much of an issue around authenticity as it is about goal optimization. Most of the time with pickup, your goal is to have sex. The relationship only has to be successful until tomorrow, which basically means you can just coast on good vibes. And your process needs to be repeatable, since you probably want to do this more than once. With long-term relationships, you're just not optimizing for sex. There's some overlap of course, because you still want attraction, flirtation, investment etc. But you also need to be thinking more long-term.

The problem I see here is that "wins me over" quickly turns into "have sex with her without showing any real interest in long-term potential". I find this just doesn't work well if you want something serious. I don't even want to sleep with her if I don't see long-term potential at this point.

You’d need to describe more what is going on in your interactions. Otherwise we’re just guessing.

@Meeksauce you’re doing something wrong. Women have not become unapproachable in 2026.

Corrupting the World Cup: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/fifas-infantino-targeted-by-complaint-to-olympic-ethics-body-after-trump-lobbying-on-balogun-ban

Appreciate that!

That is what they're doing. Be careful of strawmannirg them as well. I don't agree with their conclusions, but they are mostly presenting it in a reasonable way.

Well, you tell me. Do you think you're still seriously open? How much are you going to try and understand these teachings if you assume it's just a bunch of hallucinated ramblings from a narcissist, wounded cult leader? Imagine you took that attitude with anything else you were trying to learn. If you're still open, great. But I just don't see that from you. From what I can tell, you seem quite certain in your position. And that's going to affect your results.

Yes, that's why debate won't resolve this. One of us is just going to be mistaken.

Okay, suit yourself. There will be no learning with taking that frame.