aurum

But why do you need someone in a relationship to share your paradigm? Spirituality is for you. Needing her to get it is immature.

For better or worse, I feel music adds emotional weight to my contemplation. It becomes less dry. The upside is that the extra emotional weight makes the insights really stick with you. The downside is emotional self-deception, i.e "I felt something really strong, therefore it must be true".

But how are you thinking about love in this case? If you mean "strong feelings", then that's a false binary. Love can be relatively stable over the years. And yes, even entropy might happen. That does not necessarily mean your marriage is unhappy or unsuccessful.

Just frame control your toilet

Looking for love in all the wrong places, as they say. I think the biggest thing is having proper expectations. Most of our frustrations come from expecting things that can't be fulfilled. Your toilet has never let you down, because you never expect it to be anything but a toilet.

That feels like an impossible expectation at a certain point.

The total scale of human civilization is somewhat new, yes. But scale increase itself is not new. The scale is always bigger than ever. 200 years ago, the scale was bigger than ever.

Natural resources have always been scarce and worried about. Again, nothing new. People just lack perspective.

There's nothing uniquely chaotic about our current times. If anything, our times are pretty stable.

Yes it's not a game technique, but it's more than mere self-esteem. It's autonomy of mind.

You don't need to "frame control" her, but you should be able to maintain your own frame. If you can't maintain your frame when it matters, you are genuinely cooked. That would be a steelman of the frame control argument.

@thierry My guess is she just knows she’s going back to real life. And she’s not wanting to get more invested now that vacation is over. It doesn’t sound like anything specifically wrong you did.

Start with understanding feminism.

Don't overcomplicate it. If she matched with you, assume she's already interested in a date. You don't have to "land" anything. A full conversation is often not necessary on a dating app. Just a few messages can be enough. As soon as things seem like they're heading in the right direction, get to setting up the logistics of the date.

Of course. But the entire purpose of genuine truth-seeking is to overcome such self-deception. If the concern is self-deception, then what people need is more truth-seeking, not less.