SilentTears

I was looking at the forum and I’ve been seeing a lot of resistance towards Leo lately. I can see the delivery and unconsciousness they are projecting towards people. They have become so distracted with what others are doing and they are fighting for what they believe is right. I’m not saying that’s “bad” it’s just a distraction. Why are they fighting for a thought they have no idea where it comes from? I understand that’s what they identify with and maybe that feels good. Hmmm.. I could see quite a few people getting triggered over Leo locking a few threads. They seem so stuck in their point of view. This is all from my relative point of view. I’m not judging, but trying to understand how people don’t realize this. There are many people that are advanced on this spiritual path on this forum from what I can see, however non seem to be telling others their delivery and explaining it to them. Hahaha maybe I’m just a weird one that enjoys when others expose my unconscious actions... Mood: happy, joyful.

*looks around public fourm* I think the secrets out Mandy... hahah I'm joking, I understand that you meant on your Facebook page. have a wonderful day, and thank you for sharing about your experiences in your latest videos

Flow with the thoughts. Jounral: meditation : opps... fine, I'll do it if I feel like it notes: 1) isn't this moment beautiful? Why is it that sometimes I almost cry from the beauty of this everlasting moment and other times I'm seeking a more positive state of being. Who is seeking? 2) my sleep schedule just went out eh.. well, the window, and then grew some wings to fly to New York or India. Idk, however, I have been sleeping from 4-11 am lately and then taking a nap in the middle of the day like around 5 pm. Hahha who has a sleep schedule like this?!?! (edit) mood: really enjoying this moment. Appreciation, Gratitude, love, happiness, joy, deep care, contentment and um a bit notagic now... (a song just came on )... changed songs. Oh yes, the sheer beauty that blinds our souls! Edit after 17 min: something I haven't mentioned is that I don't go to a regular school. My school is basically come in at anytime and do the work and leave at anytime. It's very independent. This has helped enormously with growing myself as a whole. I'm grateful that I have had this opportunity in life to expand as I have.

Great post! Like the person above it was a wonderful read indeed. You pretty much summed up what I’ve been experiencing these past few days.

Life is odd. I try to grasp my understandings in a logical way, however my mind seems to be not able to express myself. I am currently experiencing what I believe to be my heart and now my head opening to energy as of late. For the past few days and really this past year, I have had experiences with my third eye and heart chakra opening. Now, these past few days have been a little intense in nature. I’m experiencing the love and experiencing more of my heart chakra then ever before. You can feel your way to things. You know that? You can feel your way to anything you desire. Sometimes I wonder if I’m feeling my way or just intuitively knowing before it comes that it is coming. I’m very full of emotions right now. I love experiencing emotions. Meditation: 14 min, followed my intuition on this. What is intuition? A deep sense of knowing, before something has manifested into your reality. I am experiencing very deep emotions about love and soul connections. What is this? I can feel it go so deep into my heart chakra and when I focused on it my whole head got tingly and warm. My head will often overheat when I get into curtain stages of consciousness. Take care, love seems to everything when I experience it. There is a lot of self identifying thoughts going on. I’m just automatically writing. Words. What are words? What are experiences? Who is experiencing this? Who is questioning? All things I like to contemplate about as it feelings good to do so.

Hello my dear, let us share a journey together. journal, mood: currently I just feel naturally neutral. Meditation: nada. Notes: 1) I woke up late again, was late to class. Everything worked out perfectly. I have this extreme self confidence and someone pointed out to me that the way I present myself is too perfect. An example would be the way I walk and talk to people. I sometimes, okay, most of the time embody this masculine state where I'm Here. This extreme self confidence and passion. It's something I would recommend people to experiment with. Their masculine and feminine natures. Anyway, they stated that ^^ and wanted to get to know me as no one is that perfect. Honestly, it felt good to hear that, but I often shut myself off from feeling like I'm better then others. If I ever notice that a comment by another will make me feel cocky then I'll start doing self inquiry. I can feel it physically. I want to shy away from using words as labels for my emotions, as they often don't fully represent my inner self. I have observed that the masculine fire in my chest gets fed when someone gives value to me. Mood: I feel at peace. 2) I notice how different I am from others(my age or anyone I meet In general) . I wanna write about my journey and what I have experienced thus far. 3) oh, earlier today I came upon the realization that my life purpose was to change the western culture/ values. It felt odd as I see everything as perfect. This moment. Their values. Everything is perfect. Yet there is this drive to set the west on fire. A good fire. I wish to set ablaze that passion and love within us all. I wish for people to live within a society of love. Where people create out of love and passion. Don't you think that would be so beautiful? Where you could create and there would be no money. Money no longer has value. Peace, love, happiness. Helping people. (I contemplated for a good while, how a society that embodied love would look like) <--- that's what I wish to create. I'm confused, aren't these just my values and ideals. Wouldn't this be forcing my own understandings onto another. A perfect individual. They need not change. If they wish to realize love then I will always be here. Anyone, is welcome. Trying to integrate the non dual is a little tricky. I notice I automatically take a dualistic approach to life. I mean, I have my auto judgements and all that delivery. God, isn't that beautiful? 4) oh, yesterday I guided my friend into self inquiry and I saw them realize something, their whole face went like "oh shit" then it quickly went back to normal. I saw how their mind quickly created a distraction. They stated labeling and were like "oh fuck, Demons are real" hahaha(cause where do our thought even come from?). They were joking, but they said today "you mind fucked me". I did it to them again today, but they seem to get so confused. They want to quickly logically rationalize their understandings and experiences, however thoughts cannot explain thoughts. "We" thoughts are trying to think our way to an understanding. Hahah the fools! (I just really wanted to say that. I mean no judgements). It was so beautiful when he saw it. He got a glimpse. Writing this journal put me into a more positive state of being.

“When Buddha destroyed his own sexuality, it is said he roared like a lion” - osho (553 the Buddha said) I saw this post and it has 7 7 77 7 as numbers for hours ago, views and something else. 7’s have a deep meaning for me. So when I saw this and saw that the first thing that flowed in my mind was that quote, I had to post it. Have a wonderful day, and I really enjoyed that mini clip. I have actually never seen the lion king. So that was a “oh wow” moment for me.

You know, last year I had a dark night of the soul that lasted about 5 or 6 months. I’m not to sure when it started and when it ended. Anyway, I’ve had a lot of growth through this year. I got stared with self actualization because a friend recommended one of Leo’s videos. Right, it was spiral dynamics and one other one. I don’t remember. I’m listening to songs right now that are triggering emotions in me that I haven’t experienced in quite a while. I get a glimpse of how I felt at the time I listened to these songs. That’s how I am able to recall memories of the past, through music. Different times of the year give me different emotions. I really noticed how when it was hot for a few months I had different experiences then when it was raining a lot. I can see this judgment of liking the cold more then the hot. Throughout this past year I felt things which I can not explain to you. I’m trying to cultivate more awareness, however there seems to be distractions. Feelings = memories

When thinking about my journey and all that I've been through, how much I have grown. I start to get tears eyed. My nose gets tiggily. I've gone through so much. It makes me feel good to think about these things. I love what I have been through. I've had so many life experiences and realizations at the age of 16. I can see the beauty. Meditation: 20 min I woke up late today 30 min before my class starts and it takes 30 min to get to school walking xd. At first I saw an auto reaction of wanting to rush. But before it could come into my experience my high vibe state was like "na, son, we are gunna enjoy this moment". Seriously, I wake up in these really good moods so I saw there was no need to rush or anything. I got ready in a few min, but right before I left I got the urge to check my photos. I was just captivated by a few select photos. Someone who has been coming back into my life through synchronizations is my ex- best friend. (I will edit this and explain later) I saw pictures of her that I had and just got emotional. Not sadness or any emotion that I can label. It was a feeling in the chest that has no label. It's not a common emotion I guess. As I've never seen someone label it as something. I call this feeling "soul connection". Someone on the forum was saying how there is no true romantic love, but I don't agree. I have unconditional romantic love no matter what for another. I say romantic because I have the feelings of passion and whatever we experience when we get in that state. I also have unconditional love for them. I really contemplated if it was unconditional.. the answer: yes, it is.

Uhh, yeah, it was daylight savings yesterday so that’s why there was an hour gap. I feel like a fool! Self judgment and self criticism of myself. Journal. 1) played a lot of video games. I haven’t truly played in a long time. I feel better not playing video games then playing them. I met someone online and they seemed really sweet and I felt like I knew them even though we only talked very briefly. Its odd, I connect to people in weird ways. There are three times I felt this way in my soul. One was for the girl I used to like and she was a big impact on my life for over a year now. The other time was when I met my crush before that girl^^. Okay, so I just noticed a pattern... each time I have felt this way it was always a girl. I watched it and I got this feeling in my chest. My heart beat once and it felt like a dam broke. Honestly, it reminds me of when I was going through the dark night of the soul. I had this extreme heat in the upper part of my chest. It would come from my heart chakra and I had no idea why.

Just something real quick. So, I went an hour into the future. Sounds super weird and odd from the “ego” “mind” “thinking” perspective. I mean how can you change time? I didn’t change time. Ofc most people here know that time is an illusion by oneself when they identify with thoughts. Anyway, I happened to get up to feed my cat after messaging someone and then when I came back i was an hour in the future. At first I was like “what?”. But this was a great realization that anything is possible. If your reading this and not so deep into this work a tip I have is to watch your mind. Watch how you thought of this. Was it “crazy?” “Weird?” “Delusional?” Do you believe me? Do you “agree”? Those are mainly judgements and thoughts filtered through our beliefs and core values. One last thing. I am noticing how the ego mind/ myself, tries to “help” others from its relative point of view. It’s kinda interesting to watch(a judgement. It’s “good” because it’s interesting) anyway, flipping through perspectives changes my judgments and beliefs. If I drop all beliefs and understandings then that’s just another perspective. Have a nice day, love y’all.

Mood: thank you very much honestly, my life is so amazing that I’m getting tears in my eyes just typing it. It reminds of when Leo spoke in one of his videos looking back on his past few years and he also got teary eyed. Anyway, notes, 1) mmmmm John Lennon is an amazing artist and singer. My favorite song right now is imagine by John Lennon. I love how his wife looks at him and he does to her. They have a very lovely connection I love how his voice is beautiful anywayyy, life is great. Continue to be great. Be yourself. Live yourself. Have love. Be love. Your amazing just the way you are. I deeply love you. Cool, just know that there will be times you will experience different emotions. That’s fine. If you so seek to be in a higher state of emotions and feeling then some practices I like to do are: love and gratitude practices. Meditation and self inquiry. Listen to some music and feel my way to a good feeling place. Think in terms of “now” and how this is all now

I loved your reply! Thank you for this kind explanation. From my own experience I have also clearly seen that when I follow my intuition and do things a bit “different” I tend to get amazing results. I really enjoyed how you spoke about non duality in your reply. It’s been a major theme in my life so far. I’m really seeing how judgement creates duality. Ps. Thanks for your videos. They often kick me into a more aware state. When you teach I’m always like “yes, yes!”

Hey Mandy, do you remember the book "The Grail Path"? I'm sure you do lol. Anyway, I wanted to ask about insights you had about the book. I'm noticing that both the divine paths resonate with me deeply. Which is odd. I mean, when I do things like "killing the ego" - self inquiry. I resonate and experience extreme love. I also seem to be called to almost everything she has listed under the "Benefical Religions and Practices for the Creative and Emotional person" (page 18). I seem to fall under the space of the grail path as everything I'm guided to fits that. My question really is "do you think self inquiry is an ego killing method or the heros journey practice?" I don't feel like it is, but logically isn't finding out that there is no self and we are really just a thought thinking more thoughts and becoming identified with those thoughts killing the sense of self I once held? Thanks a bunch

Now I'm curious! I'm seeing others that are able to tap into unconditional love like me. How do they do it? I can tap into unconditional love I feel I put in some earphones and ask "who am I?" is it odd that when I meditate or do self inquiry I just get hit with so much love. Is that a trap? A trap full of love? I can keep pushing for an answer and sometimes reality will kinda feel funny. I'll feel like I'm at the tip of something. I feel that I'm close to my answer just not quite there. I'll still feel love, but reality will morphe. An example is that if I get serious about self inquiry sometimes my mind will shut off. I can feel it click off and become still. Then my door and wall with start to become wavy. This lasts about a second. During that time I sometimes feel like I've seen something, but I can't explain what. I can't seem to express what I've experienced. No words can describe. It honestly feels like I'm trying to grab at water. I can't hold it. At least not with force. Or try to understand it. I say "it". I can't explain what happens during that split second all I know is that whatever happens then raises my base level of love and happiness. I'm more fulfilled throughout my days. I'm loving life. when at school I'll be hit with emotions so extreme I wanna cry from the beauty. Hello, are you going through the same? Really? That's crazy.

I notice the same things happening for myself. I would or could ask for something and then I'm magically guided to it or it falls into my lap. I'm exermenting with emotions. How when I feel certain emotions it attracts certain situations. When I experience emotions I kinda get this feeling where I can fall deep into them. Like understand and attract what's a vibrational match to those situations. Also, I remember you from Mandy's teaching thread. Keep up the good work, your doing great!

2) In class today, I got hit with this overwhelming emotion (can't express it. It felt similar to what I experience when I tap into unconditional love). It brought me to tears. My eyes got super watery and I tried to cover up my eyes (It honestly was kinda of an addictive feeling). To cover up this emotion, since I didn't want to start crying in class I just let lose intellectually. I often tend to hold myself back for the class. I quickly grasp things and understand them very easily, but I don't answer right away to help out the other students in my class. So once I let lose I quickly started explaining and solving problems. My teacher must have felt the energy, because as soon as I let lose he started going off and explaining these "complex" (it was easy) problems. I was having fun. I saw my intelligence, it felt good to see value in myself. My intelligence has been coming up more and more lately. I'm seeing the coralation between consciousness and intelligence. The more consciousness I become the more people call me "intelligent". I went through a phase of high consciousness for a few months( when I went through my first awakening) and I was often told "wow, your so smart" "how are you so intelligent" "you do these things which are really intelligent" etc. I started raising my consciousness again and for the past few days/ weeks people have been telling me how intelligent I am. I have often been told that since I was a child, I just think I become more intellectual when I raise my consciousness. 3) my life has been really great ever since that one day I took raising my consciousness seriously. It was Sunday, I just got so fed up with a low conscious state of being. I took seriously the state of awareness I am in throughout my day to day life. This "now".

Journal meditation: yeh, like 10 min mood: today has really been an odd one, overall I have really enjoyed all the emotions I have experienced notes 1) there are a few things I want to express. I am seeing the judgements, lack of awareness, etc in others. I can see where they express their own understandings on others. It's all trying to be fit inside their world view. If you go against it then they have an explanation and they subtlety or not so subtlety pass their judgment onto the person. people call this devilry. I am seeing people's devilry. But that is just a judgement from me. It's a judgement and an observation. It's looking at someone from a point of view that places them in a imaginary box of values. It's hard to speak without unconsciously passing my own understandings and judgments. I can come from a place of love and call someone a devil. Isn't that still just passing judgement onto them? What you see goes through our lens of understandings, beliefs, and values. Then these words that seem to come from no where appear. Everything I have said up there is neither good nor bad. how should one express themselves without the "judgements". Of course the judgments are not "bad". Im trying to rap my mind/ awareness around the concept of good and bad. Right and wrong. I still have these structures and programraming. Someones frame of reference comes from all that I have said above^^. It's neither good nor bad from the perspective that I'm embodying. People have these judgments and my auto reaction is to "correct" them. But that's just going through my lens of understanding. If I try to correct someone then that's just pushing my values onto that person. I can not "help" someone without stuffing them full of my own bellies, understandings and values.you cannot "help". They are perfect.

Mood: love. Love. And some more passion im journaling: 1) I have to shoot my self into this place of becoming my thoughts to talk to you. I can't leave the identity of thoughts which makes me but a thought and nothing at the same time. To talk to you I have to believe in. Thoughts. I have to have my world view. I have to have my understandings, values and belifes. 2) just be 3) I'm now going to identify with a thought. Earlier today, I studdly started becoming more aware and I just stoped doing my work. I blanked out. This girl was trying to comfort me and asking me "what's the matter" I felt amazing, but she thought I was suffering. I saw unconditional love rise inside me a little later and right when my eyes started watering from all the love someone grabbed my shoulders asking for help on some work. I was so attached to my work. Then I realized it all doesn't matter. Nothing matters. It's all perfect. No need to do anything. Just be. Enjoy the beautiful life that is right in front of us. I didn't want to work. I didn't want to do any of it. I wanted to just bliss out on these feelings. I wanted to leave and go home. I've done it before. I've left and really did the minimum I had to do for a few months. Then my consciousness lowered and I started doing it all again. Now that my consciousness is rising I see the pointlessness in doing it. It's already perfect. We can create reason, but that's just more thoughts someone's identifying with. Anyway, I stuck it out and just did everything I needed to do. I then did something I wasn't supposed to do by some made up standards people have identified with. I felt shame and guilt in my stomach. I didn't understand why. I know better, but I still felt them. I just watched it. 4) j noticed that the girl I used to love was thought of when I started to feel unconditional love. I'm thinking that it may have had to do with some past experiences. In the past I've often been talking to her when I suddenly was bitch slapped by love. I would just see the beautiful reality that was always here. I was just blind to it. I am noticing my awareness leave me as I stoped questioning thoughts, my existence and all that stuff. So I'll leave it for today.

I know nothing. I love everthing. Is that not something. These are all just concepts of my own worldview. Everthing I could ever say is from my own judgments. I mean everything I say has my own core values and beliefs fused into it. I am seeing all the unconscious "bullshit" I notice how I judge myself and others for their lack of living up to my values. What? You get triggered easily. Well let me judge you for it. What? You are judging others? Bad, you should do this instead. Let me help you what? Everything is perfectly and could be no other way. Yeah, true true. See how I just identified with that thought. Ahhhhh i kinda confused myself. I mean, everthing is absolutely perfect and beautiful no matter what or who it is. I love everything and everyone, but then I can also jump into (Who is jumping....) its like I can't speak or I realize I'm not living up to the standards I have installed. Let me restart. I was being a zen devil, projecting my own values onto others. I would see the unconsciousness of myself. And then I saw everything as beautiful. Any being is perfect. I know it's all perfect, but there is something. I have this auto reaction. Where does it come from? Anything, is not "us" it's just auto reactions from unconsciousness. There is no "you" I mean. Just auto reactions. Wtf, how can an auto reAction have feelings, thoughts, a sense of self. I keep grasping something and it makes me have this unconditional love for everthing then I try to rationalize it. I try to make sense of my understanding. See I even typed "my" but it's all perfect. If I even try to speak my judgments slip through. Anything that can Be said has our own beliefs and values corrupting it. Even this. This is filled with all my values. Who am I to have values? I mean who am I? It's like I keep grasping at air. I'm nothing. I can't seem to find anything. All I "see" is an automatic reaction. I don't know where my word, values, thoughts, actions come from. This is one deep ass rabbit hole. Why is it that when "I" this thought. Questions it's own existence and all these things that are not usually questioned I get this fire in my chest. I feel all this love for everyone and everthing. I see the perfection of everyone. This life could be no other way then what it is. All these understanding makes these paradoxes. The paradoxes really fuck my mind. It's like my mind is trying to grab water or sand. It just keeps slipping through. Then I realize that there is no self to even have these experiences. It's all just a thought that has identified with its own values. I try to explain non duality. My own non dual experiences and perspectives then My other understandings of what is what gets in my way. Maybe I should just shut it all off. We can think and think forever. A thought can just think more thoughts. Thoughts that the thought doesn't even know where it comes from. I get these understanding my mind blanks for a moment then I'm back to the auto reactions of typing, thinking, acting, judging, putting up standards. If I didn't have this. I feel like everything would collapse. I got scared. I identified with all that. How could I kill myself. If I let all that go then. See! It's all just thoughts, a thought trying to. Ahhh. I love life. Thats it for today, I'm just gunna feel instead of trying to make sense of this. Feel and try and clear my mind. Edit: when I shut off my mind I noticed that I would quickly go to unconscious and auto pilot behavior. I would then quickly judge myself for it. I would then catch myself. Bring myself back to no thoughts. Then a repeat. I'm loving this moment so much I could die. This feeling in My chest. i wonder if you guys also get that feeling in the chest. It's just another place I'm identifying with. Trying to speak is like pushing two same magnets together. It's like trying to explain to someone a new color you have seen. You can't. A new color was created, but how do you explain it. You will first try and pour your old understanding of other colors, but that just gets in the way of explaining the new color. It's like a blue and pink. No, it's like... (old understanding).

Taking consciousness work seriously has raised my awareness significantly. I am noticing how I will be aware for like 15 seconds then fall right back asleep. It’s easy to get lost in the every day life. Keep strong on the mindfulness. Who am I? Where am I? Who is thinking these thoughts? Why do I experience what I experience? Why do any of this? Who is thinking? Where do your thoughts come from? How do I know this is “real”? I was contemplating hardcore and the world started to become ungrounded. I got a glimpse of the trueness. The trueness that reality is but a thought, thought up by us to keep us in this illusion. Reality literally started to deconstruct, but my ego/ mind caught it and brought it back to the groundness I believe it to be. Edit: I am noticing that whenever I start crazily questioning “who am I?” “Who is experiencing this?” “Who even is writing this?” My mind will sometimes blank out. I will catch glimpses of something. Idk what it is. But I know it’s something important. I feel as if I’m grasping at air, but that air is the most important thing. This is all me contextualizing something that happens in the moment. It’s but a fleeting moment

Ahhh. My awareness is shit! It’s so shit! I was looking at some old messages because now my life is not on the extreme happiness side and I saw how aware I was. I was so aware talking about things it triggered awareness inside of me. Now I’m sad. Like, throughout my day to day I am doing bullshit things to try and feel good. Why not just meditate or contemplate. Why Joseph? Why are you not enjoying life like before? Do you just get super happy and bliss out on life like before? No? What? You now sit down wishing for your old life back? Why? Why not just change it now. Meditation is key. Joseph just meditate and when you got a problem contentment that shit. Bring awareness on your problems and your life to make an amazing life. Clear the illusions. I used to be aware. I said things which I would not say now. I’m lonely as fuck. Today and yesterday I felt it. Before I could sit alone and laugh. I’m comparing myself to my old self. My life is honestly really great and I can do a lot. Just the lack of awareness. My goal is to increase my awareness as much as possible. Meditation non stop. Contemplating nonstop. I gotta get back into those habits which increased my love and happiness levels. To a place where I can stay and do nothing and bliss out on life. My new goal is to increase my awareness as much as possible. I’m done with low consciousness activities. I’m done. Edit: wow, just reading things I said from the past increase my awareness. I’m shocked by how much I knew! I’ve fallen. Ive become a fallen angel. Omg that is a perfect description. I’m a fallen angel trying to regain my holiness.

I love Marianne Williamson! Ahh. She is so amazing. A mod posted a video of her endorsing Bernie (first time I’m ever hearing about her) and she just blew my mind. I mean yes, her ideas were great, but I loved her energy. Her enthusiasm and how she delivered herself. She lighted a fire. When I saw that happen within my self I went “wow”. I could see the masculine energy which I found lovely as fuck. I went into more of her older work. Not her old old work but her ideology for when she was running for president and I really resonated with her. She actually reminds me a bit of myself. Alright, journal meditation: 15 min mood: I was really in and still am in a high flying mood. I was kinda purposeless earlier today, but somehow got distracted into this good mood. notes: 1) I saw purposelessness today. Wow, I did not know what to do. I wanted something to do. What helped was taking a walk.

Now I'm creating a new post to try and break the fear I have about creating new posts. Right after writing the post before I lost myself to thoughts. I feel more consciousness by keeping my mind on itself. I got distracted while writing this post! It was a good distraction. I was feeling so amazing so I started listening to music and dancing. Just by focusing on my thoughts and getting more consciousness by doing so I got hit with extreme happiness. Do I distract myself with good feelings? But they feel so good. I just wanna get lost in them. Absorb them and become them. Live them. Be them. Have them. See all that "want" but I am what I am. Says the ego trying to saying "I exist I exist" of course you exist. You were imagined by these thoughts I get. I want people to see their own delivery! That's what ive been doing. I do things to play along. I play along to wake people up. Maybe they do the same. We are all playing the game to wake each other up, but we first want the other to wake up before we are like "fine, I'll wake up too now" what I mean by all that is if someone did something unconscious and projected that to me I would fight them. Not physically. Mentally. "Why did you do that?" Nicely said by me. Then the game is started. You see. I say that then they either realize "oh shit, I acted from the unconscious side of me, sorry. Love light light love" or we are both sucked into playing this unconscious game to wake each other up.

Ah, I wanted to edit, but then I realized it never matters so I'll create a new post. "But what if people think I'm making a new post to up my post count?" What? Hahaha who cares if they do? Are they really that preoccupied with my life and do you think people who are actulizing their life care about how many posts I have? Na. Today ive felt this anger inside me. I was getting so triggered by everthing and everyone. I went home, ate and felt better. I'm now genuinely happy. My emotions. Yes, awareness/ consouness raises my levels of emotions. How to raise my consciousness? I could meditate more, but I was a strong kick. Always the quick fixes. Damn, I'll just build my old habits. contemplation, and various meditations.