Nemo28

@Michael569 yeah I understand, I also were like them, but then I learnt forgiveness and love (thanks to psyhadelics). I want to heal people, by my ability to absorb their negativity and transform it to something more harmonious.

@Aaron p there is no evil really, it's just gets overwhelming sometimes to be the 'sponge " for other people, to suck in (what I perceive, their thoughts and feelings). I guess, it's one reason I like to be alone. Yeah ayahuasca retreats have helped me a lot. God bless psyhadelics

Does anyone here experience egoic satisfaction (pride) towards themself for being more advanced than most of the society? I feel superiour to others, knowing myself as awareness and having this ability to detach from the mind. When i look at other people i see them very absorbed into their personalities, activities, always distracted either by phone, headphones or friends, all the time talking and talking. Well the issue i have here is that i experience discomfort seeing myself liking this situation, its as if i enjoy other people suffering, i enjoy seeing their delusion, it gives me sense of superiority, and when i see people trying to become more aware i feel threatened and jealous that they might share the same understanding as i do and i would no longer feel superior and special. I mean its just one feeling among many i have, this is the one of the worst things in me i guess. I felt need to verbalize this. Can anyone relate or im just really fucked up (issues with self esteem maybe)?

@VeganAwake yeah haha Wuhuu parteeey!

I agree as well ❤

nothing, but still despite that I am!

@VeganAwake But I am! I am, I am, I am

Well its not just hubris or excessive insecurity, its way worse, its all the possible "evils" that you could imagine, I contain all the shit you want to get rid from your mind and much more, and i have accepted it, thus im free from it. Lets not divide ourselves. I am both the devil and god, yet able to transcend these dualities by accepting them as part of me, cause thats what i experience and that is the truth.

didnt get what?

Dude this is really profoud! Wow it kinda blows my mind! There is no other experience than me, i am always central, how can there be anything else, its inconceivable..deem I am as i am, i accept myself totally ^^

HAhaa youre right lol !

cause i like to be me Well yeah cause awareness is Oneness

Arigato gozaimasu ^^

haha i look forward to that

Yup, in few weeks i will go to ayahuasca ceremony, there i intend to surronder totally, i expect to die even, and im scared a bit..

Honestly i feel like there is no need to get rid of this arrogance, its okay to be arrogant, if you fight it it only grows stronger, the best thing is to hold it in your hands like little baby ^^

Yup, thats why i made this topic, to put it out there, externalize it. I know this, but me trying to be not special will only enforce my specialness. So i will just observe what is, whateve form that takes.

I have very low dietary requirements

Well im never identified with the content of the mind ^^

Well i do feel for them, but there is this apsect in me which is jelous and wants to be above, im not identified with those feelings, im just observing what happens within me. I am happy that people become more free generally speaking but there is this pach of dirt that is hating. Im mixed, possesing both the good and bad. I think thats true of many of us, maybe some are not aware of their dirtyness and decieve them that they only consist of rainbows and sunshines. I am selfish son of a bitch but also very kind and compasionate.

@Javfly33 Die to the flesh and be reborn of the Spirit

@Meta-Man Yeah, im just observing this ^^

So in few weeks im going to do another ayahuasca ceremony. Last time i felt i didnt go to that place of awesomeness, cause i was afraid i might loose my centre, consciousness, sense of self whatever you call it and will not be able to come back to life, so im wondering if its possible to really die doing ayahuasca?

@WHO IS yes In these altered states i feel i could but choose not to cause im attached to this particular mode of living. Well it possibily is controled by the super conscious me, the little me cant take it, its too scary

Okay, i finally have to say it. In one of my ayahuasca trips it was revelad to me with complete clarity that this life is nothing than amazing dream. I could have any dream I wanted, i could be rich man, a king, famous person all that, yet i choose to be this little Me, pretending to seek something, having all these worries and overcoming silly chalenges, having nothing to his name yet possesing fine physical beauty . It was also reveled that everything i could think is not "That", so basically we are here engage in totally useless activity, yet somehow beautiful expresion percieved by the dreamer. Everything you say here is lie! It is not true! All of the "serious" things we are discussing here are coming straight out of donkey asshole, all made up that have no ground on which they rest, no solid foundation. I wish i could just be done with all this, yet im here most of the time reading all the nonsense and getting hoked by the "high consciousness" stuff. God damn it, its all a dream! I was shown this and my whole body went into trembling and awe, such bliss to know this. Yet i still cant believe this, as im wrting now. But back then it was so clear and much more real than any of this. All i have is memory now..