Nemo28

@erik8lrl But do you love me..? I still am unable to really feel that love everyone talks about ..

Again and again I flip between being lost in thoughts and coming back to awareness, just recently thanks to @Nahm by him asking me the right questions I came to clarity of recognizing with certainty the distinction between thoughts and "witnessing" now I remain as awareness (although occasionally drifting in thoughts). Staying as awareness feels so great, indeed everything feels fresh, the experience of life feels renewed (although I still feel I can go much deeper..I'm only scratching the surface as Leo says..) now I wonder how could I ever overlook this present moment, how could I be so lost in thoughts rejecting this very moment, this life, this feeling, this being.. Truly nothing is lacking, it's all perfect, I'm so blessed!

seems the interpretator is fiction

are you not intelligent? Are you not the result of randomness? And evolution theory doesnt really explain anything, it describes the happenings, where it all come no one knows.

Is there an alternative scientific explanation?

Yes, no separation, direct experiencing by the awareness. How many? Just one..

Okay will try meditate again maybe

Okay yes there is distinction between thinking and viewing the thinking as separate thing (awareness) or not separate just something that happens within awareness. But what's the point of awareness it doesn't do anything, just witnessing?

@Nahm so how do I know my direct awareness is not just another thought? Maybe everything is thought and there is nothing else, maybe the awareness as something distinct doesn't exist, since it's just a thought.

@VeganAwake Do you know where you can get this book for free?

Well this direct "awareness" does feel kinda like separation from thoughts, objects, sensations all the things you can externalize. But you could say its like a container that contains all the external stuff. Dont you think this direct "awareness" is both separation and no-separation, i kinda feel it depends on point of view to say what it is.

Well if you ignore all thoughts and just stay as an awareness then yes, the problem(question) of separation doesn't occur (I guess dogs don't engage in such inquiries of whether they are separate or not, since they're just being all the time :D) Would you say if I stay in this being (awareness) mode for prolonged time, it wouldn't feel dissatisfying, I guess I already know the answer haha. So it would be wise to drop all the questions huh?

@Nahm yes, it's all thought.

Firstly its a thought that says "I am separate (cause I have this body which is different from yours and what happens to yours will not affect mine, so it is reasoned that we are separate), then there is thought "I cant (dont want) connect with others thus I feel isolated, etc.." then its feeling of not being connected with others (but its been realized that i dont really like to form relationships with other humans so this separations feeling I recon is more psychological issue for me rather than spiritual. Okay so you could say all this feeling of separation is caused by my past events (unhappy childhood). So maybe if i had happy one I wouldnt feel this separation, since its all derived from memory (so thought). So i wonder if i would be able to create great relationships with other people would i still say im feeling separate ? But forming relationships are not my thing, im very bored with people, disinterested and i feel no need for friends as it is seen they are permanent, changing and ultimately dissatisfying, so im seeking something more satisfying that would fulfill me, i just cant see value in sustaining human relationships, in the past i was bothered by it but now I truly dont care its as if no one exists except me, so there is no need to seek other. Yet I still crave for deep relationship, something that is genuine and unconditional, I still have yet to find that "Thing".. (sorry again some self -talk ) What you think ?

Well in the awareness you could say we are One. But the separation exists in senses. Devoid of all my senses we are One being i guess. But i find (the thought finds) just being aware is rather uninteresting, dissatisfying state, I feel there must be more, hence the seeking.

awareness of my experience (since Im not aware of your experience, im limited only to mine) ?

Yeah but you say all this cause you have some "inside knowledge" of ultimate reality (at least you claim) but i feel its not fair to others, I dont want to just believe i want to experience this what you experience, how can we arrange this?

Okay is it alright to say that I am nothing or awareness (since I can always detach from the thing observed) yet I am ME the person, a particular human being with face but you could also say I am that flower I see on my table, but the only difference is the relationship I have with "things" (like me and flower) where being a person involves to be sensitive to "external environment" that affects particular body (like an injury) but me being a flower or other human beings doesnt involve being sensitive to their pain, im just wondering if there is conflict in me experiencing sort of separateness from other creatures while I am being Me, or is it just that my idea of separation is wrong in itself, why would i feel separate, is it just my thoughts who are insisting on being separate and isolated? What is wrong in me being Me and You being You, why would I think there is separation, just because i cant feel it when you cut your finger would this means I am separate from you, or is it just my thoughts? What do you think ? (I feel like i went into some self talk, sorry for that )

I cant even conceive of such perspective..I can conceive just "being" state which is absent of thoughts and feeling, but there is still perception, there is always something separate which can identify that I am experiencing this or that or just "being". If you cant detach from the thing you are experiencing you dont know whats happening, but thats probably not a state which you are talking about right?

@Synchronicity Would you agree that "reality" is actually weird, dream like, but we cant see this cause our minds are always trying to explain things into framework of logic (cause and effect) and this creates illusion that there is nothing extraordinary happening, just regular, boring day to day living? For example i got flue virus and got sick for 2 weeks. So my logical mind would just explain this as result of my actions (swimming in the pool with sick people, maybe imunsystem not at optimal conditions ) nothing special here, just unfortunate happening. But is it really just that i got unlucky and caught the virus by chance or is there something more extraordinary things happening that i just cant see? I mean the ability to even catch something we call the virus feels pretty extraordinary.. Was I destined to catch the virus or was it random unimportant happening ? Thanks! ^^

@Nahm So what changes after the "awakening" is the point of view, is non-dual perspective just a point of view?

You're welcome

Had similar experience where i lost control and was pulled more and more into the rabbit hole until i went mad..the only thing from going totally insane was presence of shaman, which to me seemed like the only anchor point that kept me safe.. and even though the experience was horrible, it was extremely healing. Definitely recommend!

The greatest mystery for me is the question of why do i experience life from my particular point of view. Is it not that awareness is not located anywhere and all inclusive, why it seems to be attached to my persona? It is said that whatever you look at you are that. If I look at dog and myself there is obvious difference in experience. I can never experience dog from its point of view, why is that if I am universal consciousness? I am well aware of eternal present moment and just beeing here and now, but still the question of "why am i me?" I can not answer, is there even such answer or just mystery? Thank you!

@nowimhere Thanks!