Eric H

Living in Canada (awesome) below the poverty line (not as fun). Thanks to everyone for the advice, I'll be putting it into practice.

Has anyone here managed to transform themselves from a poor lazy consumer into an empowered hardworking value-creator? I'm trying to make this change while struggling to escape poverty, and maybe one day find my true purpose. Would love some advice or encouragement from anyone who's managed to transform this aspect of themselves. How do you find the middle path between being hateful towards yourself and being too gentle/falling back into laziness?

Go for a run around the block. Get out of your head and into your body for a bit, it will help lift your mood.

You sound young, stressed and rushed. Where is the enormous pressure coming from? Is it coming from guilting yourself or feeling a sense of needing to succeed? It sounds like you actually won't reach your monthly goal. Readjust now, there's no need to be dogmatic. If your mind frames this as a "failure", ask yourself, "why is readjusting to make my goal match reality - why is that a failure?". Here's one perspective: Notice how you have attached making your monthly goal to reaching your life purpose. These are not linked. One is a strategy - a fucking tool - to be used merely in service of obtaining the goal: your life purpose. If the tool no longer serves you, discard it. Always be flexible in your execution, and steadfast in your single vision of the finish line. I will promise you this - you will make many plans in life that will not work out. The plan is not the point - the destination is. Fail as many times as you need to. Here's a second perspective: You might die tomorrow. As wonderful and important as finding your life purpose is, shit might still happen and you might not make it. The fact that you genuinely want it is good and will ensure that you accomplish your purpose, given enough time and resources. But nothing is guaranteed. Don't let your mind parasitically control you. Your mind wants to obsess about the future, about some future goal. Paradoxically, this makes it harder for you to reach your goal. Let go, relax, and once you are truly calm and not afraid of "not making it" - only then should you return to your work. Here's a third perspective: Your intense stress and anxiety over not making it is coming from unresolved issues in your psyche. It's normal, but very unhealthy to work with such rabid obsession. If you're anything like me, the issue is you don't actually love yourself. Cast your mind back and visualize the memory of the first time your parents rejected you, or did something that basically said "You are unworthy, unlovable, garbage." Take 5 or 10 minutes, go deeply into this memory, and find your own rejected child still living in your subconscious. This is unpleasant, effortful, but effective self-therapy. Say what that poor unloved kid needs to hear. Doing this repeatedly - finding other memories and integrating them into your psyche - will help massively. Psychedelics are also a potent tool here. You will be effective, but relaxed. The intense need to get your goal will vanish with time, and be replaced with an easy excellence in your actions.

1. Assume orange. Most people you'll be hiring will be orange, statistically speaking. And that's actually probably what you want, depending on the kind of business you're running. If your clients are orange and you're selling an orange product or service, your business is probably going to be more successful if you hire orange people. What's your vision for your business? What kind of product are you selling? Lower consciousness stages aren't bad - chances are you want orange people, but it depends on what your business looks like. Don Beck estimates that only 10% of the world population is at green. University professors, liberal pundits... these people are more likely to be green. As a shitty rule of thumb, green people are generally older and well educated. I doubt these kind of people are looking for jobs at small startups with people they don't know. 2. blue/orange/green discriminative questions. Possible questions: - What is important for you right now in this stage of your life? - What do you think is important for psychological health? Basically use the word "important". This is code for "what do you value?". Or ask them what they need (more personal, you'll need to build something of a relationship with them before asking them this): - If you could solve one problem in your life right now, what would that be? - What is your dream or biggest goal for yourself right now? Pure blue - What's important is sacrificing myself for the Truth, the One Path, My Ideology. I need to serve more deeply. BLUE/orange - What's important is serving this Truth/One Path/Ideology, I think, but in a free way. I'd like to serve the Cause, but more intelligently. blue/ORANGE - What's important is rising to life, being smart about things, being educated, doing it your own way. I'd like to taste life beyond the Cause, have more freedom. I need to try things (but not necessarily carry them to completion). I need more things - more money, more sex, more cars. Basically, try to figure out if the person you're interviewing has a strong and rigid belief system. - or did until recently. Ask them questions about it. If they believe in it firmly, they're pure blue. If they're starting to question it, BLUE/orange. If they're derogatory and even insulting of it, they're blue/ORANGE. Pure ORANGE - What's important is achievement through strategic excellence. What's important is accomplishing your goals. There are many possible paths, but one is best, and we should find that one way. I need to succeed. ORANGE/green - What's important is teamwork, growing other people. Teaching other people is important, training other people is important. I am lonely, but I wish I wasn't, since it's a weakness. I need to control other people, but for their own benefit (educating and teaching them). I need to be spend more time with my friends. (This is where I put myself) orange/GREEN - What's important is teamwork, sharing with other people. I want to build a business or start a project with my friends. We need to cooperate with our friends. Meaningful conversation and connection is important. The motif for green is other people. Try to figure out what role other people - friends - play in their life. Are they pushed to the side? Are they feeling lonely? 3. It's not what they say, it's what they embody If you're starting your own business, you probably have sales experience, so you know that you'll get your answer more from what qualities the interviewee is embodying than the actual words they say. Just because we all know that tier 2 exists, we could probably fool a spiral dynamics questionnaire just by using yellow and turquoise language. So notice how they react, how mindful they are, when they lie to you, what they're defensive about, etc.

Update: Did Ayahuasca, resolved the insecurity. Pyschedelics are fucking great.

What an excellent and refreshing perspective!

Thank you all for your replies, I appreciate the support and space to explore this issue. I guess some people would say that a lack of external abundance and chasing success is evidence of a lack of internal abundance. I don't know how much I believe that. But I certainly believe that I'm still pretty insecure, and that's causing me to look on the outside for what I can only find within. I'm reflecting now on the successes in my past, and I've done some impressive stuff like anyone else. I guess it's never enough. This is something my friends ask me a lot. I'll be asking myself this question more regularly.

Hi all, I'm seeing a pattern in my life that I'd like to break, and need some feedback. Pretty sure the solution is just "become more conscious", but would love some pointers on good questions or insights. I used to be very desperate for a relationship. I dated over 50 girls in second year of university, and none of the relationships got past the second or third date because I "needed" a relationship so badly. Eventually, I let go of the need to be in a relationship. A week later, I met someone great and had my first healthy relationship. I think the same thing is happening in my career. I'm 24, and I've been beating myself up for not being as successful as I thought I would be. My friends tell me that I seem "desperate" to succeed. I used to be very poor. I'll save you the sob story, but my "need to succeed" is coming from a lot of insecurity. Anyone else ever have this kind of insecurity? How did you resolve it? I'm trying the Sedona/releasing method and self-inquiry in meditation.