barcos

@Commodent ??? maybe these types are the most common out of all other types to be explorative of how reality operates.They come here to find like minded created content, to quench that thirst for insight

Totally uncertain but I’ve recently been identifying with the character of an infj, maybe this helps people understand what type of person I am, “how I roll?” thus how to help me.Ive been prioritizing myself but I still have trouble setting boundaries with those around me.I love my family because I understand where they come from and why they are the way they are.This,a big picture understanding of my family’s characters and the power of acceptance and love, with my nature to not want others around me to feel negative then make me feel negatively because I’m sensitive to my environment like that, makes me lean over to not doing or saying anything that might displease or hurt these individuals.Whenever I’m interacting with people, I am not quick.I need processing time.As in I can’t just be in the moment and as extraverted,talkative,”fun” Maybe I’m dumb or not,but I need time to think out my response.Help appreciated

I want to live where I want,say what I want,behave how I want,create what I want,listen to what I want,express what I want, travel when and where I want.Experiment with and try out what I want.I want freedom.Exactly no chains on me.But this world runs on money.Survival or at least the lifestyle I truly would enjoy is not possible without resources.I know my worth and this lifestyle I currently live is not cutting it for me,any outside perspective on my situation would be greatly appreciated because I feel so tightly constructed to my own worldview

Whenever I try to meditate for about 10 minutes which is my set,focusing on my breath over and over again is the part I enjoy until I reach a certain point where I’m taking consistent,rhythmical deep inhales and exhales.It causes me to feel lightheaded or dizzy and lowers my ability to continue in order to regain my senses (it’s not to the point where I can’t see, hear, taste etc.,but to at least come back to normal).

I realize that I lost my ability to listen to my authentic self.I stopped feeling my emotions,this I haven’t been following my internal guidance system for the longest.Pretty much the majority of my life.I am now 16 about to turn 17.The way I was raised caused me to survive not thrive I am lonely and empty inside.I recently learned that I have to sit and dive into my loneliness in order to resolve it,without running away or distracting myself.So is the case with my emptiness,I have to FEEL the pain or sensation.But my problem or predicament lies with the fact that I am kinda neurotic about my approach to healing myself.I have a thought or idea which tells me to rid myself of ALL my codependencies and ride out all the withdrawal symptoms until I learn to be contempt with simply being.Is this not self denial about the position in life that I am in?Or do I commit to experiencing the harsh reality of where I am at,taking a period of grieving and loss, until I move through the pain and discomfort of this “detoxifying process”.Is this a neurotic, radical, self whipping form of treating myself?The 2nd option would be to slowly but surely detoxify myself.Slowly begin to feel again.Slowly strip away my dependencies. Slowly expresses myself to the loneliness and emptiness within me. This approach acknowledges and accepts that I am the way I am, and allows me to, with the end goal in mind of developing a strong foundation of true happiness, work towards aligning myself with this way of living life. Self compassionately.Kind of like accepting and integrating the ego instead of beating into submission.

@Superfluo nice job!What help!

@SoonHei that quote makes so much sense now with describing what I was experiencing.

Currently I’m a highshool senior with no passion or direction in life,other than me seeing the wisdom in climbing the self actualization mountain and working towards the really valuable things in life.I’ve realized I’ve Spent most my life even now just surviving and coping to get by.I am dysfunctional,neurotic and deficiant in certain ways.Not completely to the point where I harm people around me simply to meet my needs,although I am sure I’m guilty of this.Im lost from never have known myself.I feel like I just ended up,washed up here where I am at randomly.Im currently starting to listen to my heart and intuition more than my brain in order to find my sense of authenticity.As well as starting to own my self as a whole and becoming independent from the careship (idk if that’s a word or not) of others.Due to the realization that the quality of my life is completely my hands.Overall my goals are to discover that which I enjoy,am interested in and feel motivated to explore.Second I am trying to take care of myself,on all levels.Physically,mentally and emotionally as well as spiritually.I am beginning my own path I know I have to think for myself and figure these things out myself but if any of this resonates with you,any help,advice or wisdom is greatly appreciated.

@SoonHei Exactly as I was skating home on the streets and sidewalks,everything seemed so strange.The houses the people the cars passing by.I couldn’t believe that everything that was happening was actually happening.And my sense of self was also fucked with.I can’t really explain in words this part but I’m curious and want to know more about this any suggestions?

Glad to hear this?

I smoked a joint with some skater at the park.now everything feels like it’s just a miniature play set.Everyone seems like robots who believe they have an identity.I was playing with my dog and shits trippy l,it’s like I’m just watching stuff go by but without resisting anything but I finally Saw clearly.

Self Growth vs Self acceptance and self love?I am already a perfectionist with myself.I am hypercritical about myself and am never satisfied or pleased with who I am and how I’m living my life.I learned that to stop this I must revisit childhood wounds that were never attended to and healed,and self guide/self parent myself to a place of acceptance and understanding to allow myself to move on.The mental strategy of this aims to identify,understand and flip or prove wrong certain deeply rooted subconscious beliefs.Any help from those who have faced this problem of not accepting yourself and trying so hard to change due to self hate and outer circumstances. Such as how I’m not good enough, as I am.(Mostly here On is just me writing out my self inquiry.)That I have to be something or someone in order to love myself or be loved.That I have to please and or accommodate others in order to bring about their well being and so that I could feel good about myself.as I’m writing this I feel that my need to please everyone and need to be accepted by everyone came from my relationship with my mom.Circumstances made me want to fulfill my mother’s needs and ensure her well being.Idk yet.But what I do know is that I’m always finding myself in a state of pretense when around people and can never be myself.It works,I attract a lot of people.But it’s not really ME that’s attracting people.Its a facade and I know it.I hang out with people and can’t be fully present with them because I’m constantly worrying about showing my true character.I want their approval,acceptance and validation.I don’t care about your clothes or your shoes or your girl or how cool you are.I want connection with people who are truly aligned with who they are.Fear is holding me back from being my authentic self.

@Etherial Cat well from my perspective,he’s coming from the bottom internally.The only thing to do when your at the bottom,is to go all out in finding meaning and purpose.Regardless of where your at,you will over identify.That is the self image.

What if your deluded by the ego leo?The more I become aware of how persistent and ruthless the ego can be in order to maintain itself,the more I doubt and question your vision and intentions.What if your life purpose or vision is corrupted by ego?The idea I’ve been concluding from all your enlightenment videos and information is that in order to fully experience reality is to infinitely become aware of your reality and how you ARE reality by dissolving the ego.The way karma plays into this,is that as long as you have an ego,you won’t be able to feel fully fulfilled and truly experience bliss because of the suffering that is brought by serving yourself/ego.So on one hand you are totally blissed out,drowning in reality’s beauty.and on the other your suffering chasing your own tail.My question is can one experience a balance of both?Can one harmonize both ego and truth?

@kag101 I’m getting the idea that at the end your assuming that the person is using meditation and awareness/mindfulness as a symptom reliever but more as means to cure the problem from the root up.