StarStruck

Yesterday I took 100 ug of LSD. Very similar experience. I didn’t expect tolerance to build up so fast or perhaps I knew what was coming and I prepared myself better. The trip started very politely but it was emotional once again, with this time some light visual distortions. About 1 hour in the LSD started kicking in. This time I just lay in bed. Afraid I would sleep I sat up from time to time. First the emotions started kicking in. I felt some collective pain in my family and in myself. My trips are always around this. I started feeling societal collective pain this time. I also made some notes about some contemplation about my own life. I became aware of the monkey mind and how it chases pleasure instead of becoming its true self. Some traumatic stuff started popping up. I made the mistake of looking on my social media on smartphone couple of times and I think that influenced my trip. This trip I discovered how important it is to free roam your mind. It brought me to some interesting places. After 6 hours of tripping I got an unexpected call and I had to leave which was very unfortunate. 2 hours later it wore off. I’m thinking about doing 200+ ug over one and half weeks or something, and then lay it off for a while so my tolerance decreases.

@Leo Gura that is what I meant. My English failed me. I wanted to say that I didn’t expect a trip on a micro-dose.

People who are social are not stuck in their head.

Vipassana breathing technique is a great technique to start with. breathing 6 seconds. hold for 2 seconds breath out for 6 seconds hold for 2 seconds

@MrDmitriiV Normal dose depends on the mushrooms/truffels type. 10 mg is minimal for a trip. 15 mg is the perfect dose on an empty stomach.

I didn’t plan this trip. As new year was approaching my inner voice was screaming to do a trip. Eventually gave in. I bought the goods. Prepared the setting, chewed the substance and there was no way going back My goal for this trip was to relax more. This is a huge problem I have. I went in prepared by putting up some calming music. None the less within 45 minutes I was in full panic mode. I was not hoping for a good trip because I felt the festering emotions in my unconscious but I didn’t expect this. I quickly at some oatmeal but that of course didn’t help. It was too late. I had no option than to face my emotions head on or overheat emotionally. It took about 5-10 minutes to calm myself down. I started feeling emotions. I started feeling alive. And I was glad because of it. I put on some deep meditation technique videos. I couldn’t concentrate. My sub conscious was too busy spewing out its poison. My sub conscious was telling me so much that I decided to make notes on my phone. Here are some: -I think the major emotional backlash in the beginning of the trip was to teach myself a lesson to be more in touch with my feelings, which I’m absolutely not. -these emotions also told me I have to be more careful with psychedelics: take smaller doses and build it up -my subconscious also told me that when I’m able to cry and feel emotions like fear (which I can’t without psychedelics), I will be able to solve all my problems, including addictions and procrastination. -For Some reason I understood that I’m like a magnet: I attract what I am. If I’m holding negative energy I’m more prone to do bad stuff. At this moment I realized why it is important to have a clean household. In the last few weeks I have become very tidy but there was some pants laying on the floor. I had to put that away to feel the good energy again. -I felt shame for not being my best self. I remembered how in the past people could just read off me that I’m a negative person by reading my micro expressions. I felt exposed and ashamed because I saw how especially women can sniff positivity/negativity and high/low confidence. (I can do the same because I educated myself in this topic but during this trip I saw it how women see it) -during this trip a huge urge to become a good person arose. I saw how we are all connected and that our time is limited on this planet. It was aimed at letting my childhood traumas go because those are just distractions to keep us busy until death knocks on the door. -I saw distractions in a very different light. Distractions are just tools of the devil to keep us busy so we don’t reach our higher selves. This struck a cord with me. Made me feel alive and this feeling stuck with me. -At this point I stood up and looked in the mirror. Because I was under the influence of psychedelics I was very painfully honest. I didn’t like what I saw. I told myself to just accept how I look. There are more than enough girls that like my look. No need for every girl to like you. It was a beautiful moment. -I went back to feeling energy. It was almost like a developed emotional tentacles feeling how dense or not dense a relationship and surrounding are. I’m not sure if this is a “special power” or just an attribute that socially capable people have. I felt the urge to fix other people’s relations but I stopped myself. Something told me I first need to fix myself. Trying to fix others is another distraction. Underlying assumption was that I believed I’m not worthy of love (and I know why). I had countless flashbacks how I didn’t make the move to girls because of this deep assumption. -I had some insight that thoughts aren’t everything. Emotions (energy) is just as important in self development. Feeling of shame came back. It wasn’t a rational shame. The thought was: “you wanted to do spiritual work but now you nose-dived and stuck in your emotions”. I didn’t get triggered by this thought. I just let it go. -I had some more flashbacks on my interactions with other people. I could read what they thought and feel by remembering their facial expressions. At this point I was wondering why my sub conscious was focused on other people. I have to be focused on myself. I wasn’t aware that I’m so obsessed by others until that point. -linked to the previous point: I got the insight why I’m so obsessed with other people’s thoughts and emotions: I’m afraid to make social mistakes and not being liked. -at this point everything came together. All these hissy fits during my trip was just to illustrate the connections during my overcompensating behavior and my relationship with myself. I saw that everything I expect from others (like approval, love, and so on) I can just give myself during my meditation sessions. Summary: The trip showed me the connection between several topics. I’m still trying to create a holistic image in my mind to understand the complete picture to get the most out of this trip. My goal of this trip was to relax and boy did I relax. I’m kind of sad I freaked out in the beginning and ate some oatmeal to slow down the trip but I get it. It has been couple of days and I notice that I have a better relationship with myself, in tune with my emotions and that “feeling alive” feeling stuck partly. I feel like I developed some emotional muscle. My top insight was that addictions/distractions and other overcompensating behavior is a technique of the devil to not face the underlying emotions.

Thanks for the tip. Usually I set an intention and then let it go.

I don’t know if you are talking about porn but porn can have a negative effects on the long term. You basically bombard your brain with images that deplete your dopamine levels in your brain. That is a problem.

I did a mushroom trip couple of months ago and at a certain point I thought I stopped breathing and breathing wasn’t going automatically anymore. I believed I had to force myself to keep breathing to stay alive. Did anybody have this too? A friend told me it was an illusion. This didn’t help me to calm down.

I agree with that PMO addiction part. When you can feel the underlying suppressed emotion, and thus feel alive. You can’t give in to the addiction.

Power of Now.

I second this. Especially his last few videos are top notch. It is clear as day that he puts a lot of time in his video. His new content is also longer in duration so I really don’t get what the topic starter is aiming at. The only video I didn’t like was the video about reproduction but that has to do more about me, the topic and my upbringing. The other videos, especially the videos of last month were very good in putting things together.

Taoïsts say that nothing is good or bad. It depends on the person really. Perhaps for some people this forum is bad and they need to focus on other things. Majority of people don’t fall in this category, in my opinion.

Keep up the good work.

By the way, yesterday, the second last day of the year, I took 15 grams of Mexicana Truffels. Within 30 minutes I was in full panick mode and I tried to puke and failed. Then I just calmed myself using meditation techniques realizing that there was no return. It was a heavy night but good at the end. It wasn’t even that bad. It was just the fear in the beginning and not being able to relax. I was already aware this was going to happen and I went in prepared. It still shell shocked me but as explained I very quickly I turned the tides. At the end it was a very good trip. No trouble with not being able to breathe. I had some mystical experience too. When I was breathing my surroundings (the universe) was breathing with me!! No loss of self though. I had some great insights in my personality though.

I’m already doing this but it is a good post. +1

I concentrated on my breathing because I was flipping out. I have issues with relaxing.

It is called Mexicana truffels.

Pork has health disadvantages because it is a dirty animal if you mean that. Many alternatives out there. I avoid pork because one has to be careful with worms and so on.

I live in a country where it is legal to buy it. You can just buy it off couple of well-trusted sites but on every product page it says “not for human consumption”. They probably say that as a warning or should I take it literally? Full product name is 5-MeO DMT free base powder. I watched Leo’s video on the subject and I’m still doing research because I know this is going to be very difficult for me (I have issues with relaxing). Probably will need a buddy (if I can find one) to do it with.

@Serotoninluv thanks. After reading reports on 5 meo DMT I got a little bit afraid. My only experience is magic mushrooms. Perhaps I should try LSD and couple of other things before going for the (god) head.

Last video from Leo was very interesting to put things together. Leo says all problems root in the absence of self love. Today I was thinking about it and doing the exercise Leo gave about loving parts of oneself that we don’t love. Recently I read the book transurfing. This book says that all problems root in giving too much importance for a desired outcome. I tried to combine these two school of though and this is what I came up with: one should love all outcomes equally. What do you guys think?

Thanks for sharing.

Leo basically borrows all of his content from the books on the book list. Only after reading every single book on the list you can complain about the absence of pre-chewed videos.

What do you guys think about personal possessions? Personally I have a lot of useless but sentimental possessions from my childhood. I thought many times about throwing it away or keeping it. Mostly these possessions, like drawings, games and tools, I keep for sentimental value. I would love to switch to a minimalist household. I just have too much stuff hanging around. Obviously the easiest option would be to throw some of it away and keep the most sentimental valuable stuff, for now. Sometimes I think I just hold on to these possessions because it strengthens the ego/role that I created for myself. If that is true keeping these childhood possessions is not healthy. I’m not sure what I want to do.