StarStruck

This. And also, eats loads of beef steak and healthy fiber. Usually vegans and people with bad diet is the cause of ED but exercise is as much important for blood flow.

@Moon There is this porn site where they abuse girls and the production is so aware of the mental needs of the girls (daddy or mommy issues) that is becomes some kind of therapy. It is kind of messed up but childhood situations of abuse get simulated. And the pornstars are just acting out unresolved things in a messed up way. The pornstars are aware of what kind of messed up porn site it is but they still audition for it. These people are just acting out.

There are also some nymphs that do it to "feel alive". Those people unconsciously reproduce childhood situations to fix something but it never gets fixed. Females can go into prostitution to fulfill a mental desire. It is not only money for some.

Sometimes I'm reading something and I noticed that I didn't pick anything up. I thought this could be a concentration problem but it could also be a not being present problem. I usually visualize what is being said and then it usually clicks better but this technique is not full proof.

Tinder crushed my ego.

This I really like light brunettes.

Yesterday I was in the park, just for a walk. There were some girls, and one stood up when she saw me and started swirling around like that guy in my avatar (swirling derwisj). She was joyful, happy, giggling and swirled in my direction on purpose. When I stepped aside (instead towards her direction), she swirled away. It was almost like she was probing my reaction. I was so baffled that I didn't know what to say or what to do. I looked at her friends and they made a joke that she took XTC but it was an obvious joke. At that moment I was contemplating about fear and letting go of fear. It was like she swirling towards me, probing me if I was afraid, was a test. I was obviously confused and fearful and she swirled away. The whole situation was almost like a metaphor for fear/love in the grand scheme of things; - the girl representing love, playfulness, joy, happiness and fun - those vibes swirling into my direction - me being caught off guard because me being stuck in my contemplation - feeling afraid so acting afraid, not acting, being stiffled - she swirling off

You need a mentor and finding a good one is hard. And why would they help you? You need to develop some skills that are useful. You can go lone wolf too but the chances that you are going belly up will be higher.

@Leo Gura I don't know too much about alt right but I know it is centred around white nationalism. If alt right got their way, their victims such as minorities and feminists would be excluded from the community, and the tragi-comical result is that it happened to the alt right itself. In my opinion, just letting them be (instead of banning) would be a greater punishment, all of these channels like Alex Jones, Stefan Molyneux and others were losing viewers, and they had to resort to more and more extreme things to hold onto a shrinking audience. Now they got victimhood status, while before the ban they were just a slowly dying light. I have been following Stefan Molyneux to see how he would end up. This guy was becoming more and more desperate, at one point just breaking down and admitting he didn't know what to produce to keep an audience. It would have been interesting to see how he broke down further.

The tragicomical part is that it didn't enhance their survival. A lot of the alt wingers got deplatformed. Big time alt wingers such as Milo are set for life. They made enough profit from books and invitations. Small time alt wingers ruined their moderate minded fan base. Stained their name and became radicalized. It won't be easy to find a normal job after taken huge dumps on minorities and feminists.

I think a lot of alt right people modelled themselves after Milo Yiannopoulos. Roosh and such are small time influencers. They saw how Milo made a big name for himself by insulting people or at least saying things with shock value. Milo got invited everywhere and made a lot of money. There were a lot of people who thought they could do the same thing. Cost benefit calculation plays a role too.

@Butters I don't take more than half. I'm sensitive to the substance. Probably because I take it rarely.

Going to the gym on modafinil is crazy too. It gives you crazy amount of stamina and strength. It is almost unnatural.

Currently my "pain point" is that I'm mostly unconscious during the day. Just staying present the whole day, with everything I do is so hard and underrated. I really need to do some multi day retreat because doing small to medium time meditations and mindfulness during the day is not cutting it. I'm so engrossed in my thoughts and emotions. Also had some insights that my problems really stem from not being able to let go. There are some aspects of myself that I need to let go. I have some important stuff to do and then I will go into the lion's hole.

Amazing trip report. On an empty stomach it hits harder.

I don't think Roosh is dumb. When I look at him I just see a small kid who is hurt and is acting out. This guy is similar to Stefan Molyneux. They jumped on the alt right bandwagon to make a good living and it backfired massively. Now they can't make a u turn because that would only show they have no character (according to their ego's).

This video is so good.

I have been reading letting go from David Hawkins. I heard Leo talk about letting go but this book made it just click. When you keep letting go of emotions/thoughts, at a moment you just forget you have been letting go. It is an amazing meta headspace.

You are a life saver.

So nobody can tell me what RASA is?

What is a RASA session?

Forgive them father, for he is vegan.

Sounds to me like you are seeking meaning in meaningless things. For example now you link your acid intake with your GPS malfunction. If you car broke down, you could have linked that to your acid intake too.

He has a YouTube channel but his videos aren't organized. This question us obviously to people who studied him. Are his programs any good? I like his vibe but sometimes it is hard to understand his pronunciation.

Create clarity, your brain has primitive parts that are hardwired. You rewired them so they need to rewire. You are in that process right now. Depression is not a bad thing. There is this expanding energy within you. You need to listen to it.