StarStruck

@DreamScape @Leo Gura this was really my first real date. I was really blind so I'm not kicking myself too much. It is just so typical of me to fuck up another "first time" of something. From dozens of guys; I'm the guy who fucks it up with this girl. Damn, that hurts. I'm not going to lie. When I step back and look back, I'm just thankful for the reference experience. It exposed my shadow parts. I mean, she could have chosen not to come at all. She drove to me and back which took 2 hours of her time. I got my first date behind my back. I just need to learn how to have fun and games with girls and not be serious. I mean, to be honest, I tried to be just fun and games but one thing lead to another and I turned into a bitch to be honest. I can kind of get she didn't want to fuck me. This might be the reason I don't have a lot of friends too; I'm taking stuff too serious and not having fun. To be fair; at I moment when we are laying down on the sofa she was teasing me and I was teasing her back. I told her "fuck you", and she told me "fuck me then". I missed that window of opportunity. At this point I don't even care about sex. I need to learn to be a strong man. Sex will just be a product of being a strong man.

@Leo Gura I know the red pill theory so I know how I fucked up. I should have stayed with fun and games but that is hard when you are an incel. I need to drop that role. I don't know how to deal with my inner voice popping up bringing up sensitive stuff. I was trying to use no filter because I'm an introvert and I'm thinking too much. I was just trying to be in the moment and expressing what came up during the date. Naturally sensitive stuff came up and I just shared it: bad idea. In retrospect, this was a awful. In the beginning I had a clear shot for sex and after the shared sensitive stuff she lost interests. I can clearly see this. I don't know how to deal with a similar situation in the future though. Perhaps having a filter is not bad after all. I just need to learn to regulate the honesty filter better, I guess? I mean, it is hard to have fun and games with her, when trauma is coming up.

For an incel it is a good start. I know how it sounds. If I speak for myself: it is hard as fuck to build meaningful relations when I'm needy as fuck. Thirst is not really chosen. You can't tell a guy who is thirsty for 10+ years to stop being it. When he finally gets some water he will go ape shit. That is just what happens. For me as an incel I know the answer is inside. Probably my toxic mother is the reason for my skewed view on dating. I feel like I don't have an option. I can only authentically express my thirst so I can observe myself and make a change. Currently have a FWB which is developing into something more. If I didn't act on my thirst, I wouldn't even get out of my incel bubble. That is what I think but I could be wrong.

Just wait until you hit 30/40 year old age, and you begin to lose your looks. Good luck being the 40 year old at parties. lol

I did week 1 of this program and it is amazing. I thought it was only about creating charisma, social status and social proof but it is surprisingly holistic and spiritual. This guy knows what he is talking about. I'm excited about this product. I will keep you updated if some are interested. I added a picture of his whole system. I'm wondering if he invented that model or if he borrowed it from somewhere?

Recently got a real gf as an incel and all I can say. Just take the leadership and be like water trying to find its way to her pants. All you need is one girl to show you the way and you will look back and see how much you fucked up. I always thought finding a girl was 50% effort from my side and 50% from her side. It is true to some extend but you need to set the frames and move the relationship forward. Having said that. If I wanted to get some other girls I still would need to put in the work. I just have a better perspective and know how to use my energy and time more effective. I'm trying to get into social proof game. As somebody said on this forum. It is the natural way of getting a gf. Unfortunately I'm not good at my making friends and creating a social circle. I made a topic about that and I'm working on it.

I find it hard to understand this woman I'm dating. We met through a forum and she is a gorgeous woman. 1.In the beginning we just wanted to hookup. 2.Then things become more serious. 3. Afterwards she started openly flirting with other men on the forum (to make me jealous?) 4. I confronted her with that and she said it wasn't serious but I lost a little bit respect for her and my sexting became a little bit extreme And now she said she "wants to be treated as a lady" while we are just FWB. It was clear from the beginning. Never lied about that. I mean, she is very considerate, smart and compensionate so the fight was settled very quickly but I kind of stunted by her mindset. Questions: This girl has another FWB, so I don't want her as my partner, I just want her as a FWB too. How can I be that? On the forum I see she is attracted to dominant types. Did I fell into the simp category?

Not all incels are that extreme. Most incels are very innocent and just want love and affection. Their emotional baggage makes things very difficult. I consider myself a light weight incel. I didn't really chose to be an incel. I don't have any radical views on women. I look average to above average. I just don't know how to talk/vibe with people because of my past trauma's. Most people are very harsh on incels understandibly. Most of them are overcompensating, trying to catch up with all the things they missed in life. It is hard to understand them if you had a normal upbringing.

I read that it is one of the most important choices a man can make. Choosing a partner can really make your life a heaven or a hell. I would love to hear Leo's idea's about this topic and how he chose his life partner (if he even has one). Recently he mentioned he had a gf. What were the criteria? Did he even have criteria? If I speak for myself, because of my social handicaps, I don't have a lot of options with dating. It has nothing to do with how I look because I look above average. Perhaps he could combine the advice for this topic with the video he promised to make about picking up women.

@Roy believe me. I would do it if I could and not blink. I'm not proud on it. I don't want to give too much info if you know what I mean. I wish I could skip that stage.

Damn. I missing out on life. Yes, I'm a wannabe stage orange. I do feel sad for the boyfriends and husbands.

Ok, I digress. The question that popped into my head was this: why would they tease us? If they are so smart, they surely wouldn't let themselves get caught with their pants down. Perhaps they are trying to socially engineer us, and if they are really aliens, they could take the form of humans and be amongst us.

I invite you to be more open-minded. 200 years ago an atom bomb would seem not human-made and impossible.

I'm aware it is just the ego. My trying to latch on this girl because it is a rare commodity for my ego. I know I have to work on my insecurities and in particular let my ego lose up but that is easier said than done. I'm doing shadow work at the moment and I'm hoping for the best. Currently being paranoid she will leave me and trying not to act like a total fool. That would just make her repulse.

@Mikael89 new secret tech by China can appear impossible to us

It could be just drones by Chinese government spying on the US. I mean is it not interesting these are only seen in certain countries?

@neutralempty only getting triggered with porn.

I developed some serious ED during Corona. It is because of excessive use of porn. I programmed both of my heads the wrong way. Now there is a girl who wants to meet up with me and I'm constantly postponing because I don't want to be embarrassed. I'm in week 2 right now. Kind of how it will be over in a week so I can meet her. My intention is to never touch porn again.

90 day no fap/no orgasm rewires the brain. I'm doing no fap right now because I have the same issues but different fetishes. It is just about how you program your brain. To put it very bluntly: you need the old neural path ways to die and then sproud new ones. Also stop thinking about fetishes. Rather think about regular girls in your day to day sexual fantasies.

I wasted literally so many opportunities because I thought girls were not interested in me. All I had to do is take the lead. I blame feminism. I naively thought relationships should be 50% / 50% effort. It is just my experience but in the beginning I have to take all the action otherwise nothing is happening; verbally and physically.

I don't really get why we men always have to take the lead and make appointments. In my early days I always thought girls were not interested and acted that way.

These are friends and acquaintances. I can't just ditch them. They are good company but from time to time they try to convert me. I never see them try to do with others. I guess because I'm perceived "weak" for them and they go after me metaphorically to convert me to their cause. My friend from the gym whom I train with from time to time is such a person. He gives good advice and I don't have money for a personal trainer. There are other things I can talk about him too but I have to be careful when talking about Buddhism or something else. He gets easily triggered because he sees evangelical Christianity as the only truth. I noticed that I started to hide my own views to not disturb him but he never hides his views. His views don't disturb me it is very fundamentalist. I could say to him that I don't want to talk about religion but religion is a central part of his life. Any advice?

@Globalcollective I don't go out because I had a small social circle and going out with corona is problematic.

How do you know you got what Leo talks about? I feel love when I meditate but it wasnt mind blowing. I probably don't see it yet?

@Globalcollective what are some good old RSD programs? I will look them up. You are right about the calibration: socially savvy people do exactly what you described. If you can't calibrate to the situation it becomes weird and they start ignoring you. People do really like you based on how you make them feel, rather than rationalizations. What I would like to add to "accepting yourself completely" is to see yourself as a whole, and don't see your friend or gf as an extension of yourself. If you are not out there to get something, things won't feel weird. It will rather become a natural expression of yourself.