StarStruck

I hope they washed themselves and shaved before going out to pickup.

I'm mostly blue though but I'm still in red because of high impulsivity, lack of order, no basic discipline, etc. I developed myself in green and yellow. Systems thinking pushed me up the spiral a lot!

It is good to get through stage red.

I discovered I'm red-blue while I thought I was orange. I overestimated myself and aimed at the wrong things for selfactualization. At least now I know.

Under nourished teen age girls can be sexy but when they hit their 30'ies it is a different story. Personally I like them healthy.

So if blue is atheist it still can be blue? I'm not sure how religion influences the spiral, if any.

Do most people care about their significant other? (variation 1) Or do they care about what the other offers them? Like good company, sex, perhaps strengthening financial situation and other things? (variation 2) I feel like for most people the second variation is the case (I could be wrong). They are together for the goodies and if they don't get theirs in the relationship, they divorce/separate and that is that. The people who belong to the second variation, also tend to stay together for fear or necessity. Because of kids, financial situation or perhaps for the fear of not finding a better partner. I always thought I couldn't get a gf because I was egoistic and didn't really care about the other, but that doesn't make sense. Fuckboys don't really care about their targets and they are slaying the most pussy left and right. Is it just about pushing the right buttons?

Wasn't arranged marriage the norm since ever until very recently? Humanity were mostly tribes, if you tried to pick up a girl from another tribe they would cut your dick off. That is why most men are afraid of pickup I think.

In the topic of learning pls.

Without food you can't last couple of days. Without a social circle you can last for tens of years. If not your whole life. It won't be healthy and one will have all kind of mental issues. I don't recommend or prefer solitude though.

Ouch! I didn't see that. Thanks. To be honest, I don't deny I'm needy/toxic. First I just want to be like the others (like fuckboys who have the ability to get random girls). My priority is to fit in society by having a regular dating life and not be miserable. I don't deny I'm toxic but it will take too much energy to work on my toxicity and learning how to push the right buttons so girls will like me. It is a strategic decision. It will take too much energy to work on both things. Besides that, most girls don't even want a healthy guy, they want a toxic guy anyway. The girl I dated last year literally dumped me because "I couldn't keep her under my thumb". lol

People who say they don't need a social circle usually had good parents and good friends when growing up. In that case you can become a loner and still be happy. Unfortunately it is not the case for everybody. My POV is: needs are ok but don't be attached to it.

@Leo Gura isn't that a contradiction though? You don't have to give others happiness but be like god and give to everybody.

Every person's profile to self-actualize is different. That is why it is hard to give custom advice. One thing I can tell for sure: if your situation and mindset is that bad, you will need professional help. If there is no structural approach, a lot of energy/time will be lost.

Is this thread in the wrong section?

Too late buddy. Don't invest in highs, invest in lows.

I have been also looking into generals. What fascinates me about these people is that these people are amazing strategic thinkers on the outside, but they are not very selfaware, so their genius brain turns against itself and destroys the individual by self-destructive behavior. Examples: -Alexander the Great, -Ataturk -Napoleon -Ceasar -Hannibal And so on.

So you recommend incels to fix their problems before pursuing enlightenment?

@Tim R fair enough @neutralempty I will look into that book

@Tim R that assumes that all houses are solid and not shaky. I know a lot of people who are open-minded about one topic and close-minded in another topic. I do therapy and I notice that I have a lot of opposing values. I think it is very rare to find people who don't have opposing values. If you dig deep enough, you will find it somewhere, unless that person is very developed.

@neutralempty I read the book spiral dynamics but it was too technical and academic that I didn't get the full picture. I will try to look for more non academic books on spiral dynamics.

So it is wrong to say one can be yellow and have strains of blue because blue is already integrated? What if stage yellow has all the benefits of yellow but is still nationalist?

There is always an overreaction. In the same way people can overreact to your stuff. You tell people to take psychedelics, and some unconscious unaware person (incel or not) can take it and physically die.

It is hard to compare the numbers. People who have pussy thanks to JP don't open threads on incel forums to brag about that good ol' pussy.