StarStruck

I think you are right. I'm always forgetting it is just play. I always take it too serious. To some degree I do get why I'm like this and I'm trying to show compassion towards my behavior and that is the first step to escape my mental prison in the form of my mindset. I'm aware of the balance between theory and practice. At the same time I'm also not trying to do a lot at the same time. I'm focusing on healing childhood trauma and improving productivity; and that already takes a lot of mental bandwidth. Developing relationships is more on the backburner tbh.

@Tangerinedream I'm not good in making friends. Before the lockdown I was going to the gym 3-4 times per week and I made some acquaintances but the relationships don't develop into friendships. I'm very unconscious about this topic. Probably @flowboy is right. I do have a victim mindset and I'm working on it with David Hawkins level's of energy. I will rewatch that episode. People tell me I'm thinking too much, or more precisely, I'm thinking in a lower level of consciousness. I can't really help it though. I'm doing my best. I didn't have a nice childhood. Socially I'm a savvy person but I think I just have the wrong mindset. In the past my victim mindset was worse. Much worse. I worked on it for a couple of months last year and I got some benefits from that but I guess I need to go back to it.

I don't approach a lot. For me it either has to happen spontaneously or it is not happening. As I said I'm very passive and I expect the girl to give me signs or do something. I did approach a girl couple of months ago, and we talked like 15 minutes, we exchanged numbers and she said she has a bf. So I got sad about that (because she was very cute) and dwelled about that for a while. I know it is stupid but that is how I'm. Tinder has destroyed my self-esteem. I don't get a lot of matches on that app and I developed the selfimage that I'm unworthy.

I have some friends but none of them are close friends. They live too far and I'm emotionally distant. Good advice. Material world is Maya. There is only energy.

Last year I have been so much in solitude that I have been dissociating from life. I think it comes from not interacting with people a lot and living in my head. The only way is to seek interactions but with the lockdown in Europe that is a hard task. I think the lockdown will last another 3 months. I'm fully putting all my time and energy into myself for those 3 months and after that I will see. Currently not even aiming at stage yellow girls. I'm a very passive person so I need to work that. Probably just going to start with stage red-blue-yellow girls just to get the notches on my belt.

What is good and wrong depends on the person. Everybody has different "why's" for living life. What I really want, is to settle down one day, preferable find someone who is stage yellow. I'm not fully stage yellow so I really need to work hard but my current solitude is dragging me down. I'm aware of that. Age of your partner is just one factor to consider. Most important thing is chemistry but that doesn't mean age is not important in the consideration.

That is why I'm postponing it until I'm 35. That is my plan. Currently I'm in therapy and reading a lot. Thanks for that insight. Definitely need to read Ken Wilber anytime soon. There are a lot of books to read. And I'm going to therapy once a week. I just want my progress to go faster because time is going so fast. I'm 32 and I want to start dating but first I need to clean up my mental bandwidth as you said.

That is what I want. It is not easy for me. And I think enlightenment alone is not enough so I'm also into selfhelp.

I want to reach enlightenment before marriage too. I'm busy on it. There is slow progress. That sounds so sad, bro.

You mean you don't trust women?

@Arcangelo who is Ruby Pellet? A dog and a cat can't have conversations with me. And can't give me kids. I don't like loneliness unfortunately. I'm in solitude since the lowdown. Lockdown is driving me crazy.

You could look into day trading.

Models is a good book.

You need to eat organ meat. A lot of people have trouble because they eat muscle meat only. Organ meat is difficult to cook but it is super tasty if you can make it right. I'm doing it once a week and it helped me in so many ways. Since I'm eating organ meat I cut back on muscle meat. My body just doesn't need to eat it that often.

Atheists are usually smart but they are arrogant and egoistic.

Lack of free will can be seen as an autopilot of an airliner. You are just there in the cockpit to observe the dashboard and do nothing else. Stoicism on the other hand is very pragmatic. It shouldn't be taken to literally. How I see it is like this: the software called "stoicism" can be uploaded to your auto-pilot so it is up-to-date and can function better.

As meaningless as a knife when you are eating soup. But knifes can be important when you are eating something solid.

I was tracking my hours spend on my LP in onenote with some kind of excel sheet. It doesn't work out. How do you guys do it? I'm willing to spend 10k hours in a span of 15 years. What I did was divide 10k through 15 years and then divide it through 12 months and track it on a monthly basis to see if I'm on track. My question is specifically about what kind of format you are using like excel or something else.

@somegirl how did you get to know him? And how is your relationship now compared to the beginning?

People want to pay a high price so they can justify it to themselves that the content is really worth it. In marketing they have a name for it: halo effect. I guess just donating doesn't give the same vibe.

You are overthinking this. A regular ok looking girl will have multiple options just by being hot. Men will come at her like bees will come to honey. If you are a regular looking guy. This is not the case. Men need EQ to talk to girls. You can look ok but if you can't open your mouth your screwed. On the other hand if you are regular looking girl, just have sexual value will carry you a lot and you would have a big chance of finding a nice guy who can provide and protect. I know some couples like this. The other way around is very rare.

A lot of times I just underline one word. If I export that quote to onenote I don't have any use for one word quote. That is what I meant. I have been taking notes in the wrong way.

I love taking notes in books but I hate how much space it takes to store them. With ereaders it is almost impossible to make notes. Underlining text on a ereader works well though and most of the time it is enough. I have a pocketbook and making notes in epub is just very gimmick and it doesn't work. I hope they fix this with newer models. If they do I would say good bye to my physical books. At least the ones that aren't important for me.

I'm reading a lot of books and it is a pain in the ass to take notes of everything. Good thing with ebook readers is that one can underline and export to onenote but I'm reluctant to do that. Underlining is useless if it is taken out of context (of the text)

I'm using onenote but I don't get how that is related to this topic.