StarStruck

@Leo Gura can't you eat different kind of meats? It must be hard to only eat chicken.

Going to the gym really helps to get rid of that excess energy in my body. Problem is that I can't go to the gym all the time. Looking for a setup for home. Nofap really changes me. I get so much sharper and energetic. I should have finished my 90 day streak to rewire my dopamine system and heal my nervous system. This is why I want to do long streaks. Short streaks doesn't heal my body and brain.

I was this guy in this story so many times

This connects to the last post. I need to develop the lover archetype. That archetype is totally missing within me.

I'm doing pickup very sporadically. It isn't working out for me. Doing streaks is much better but those can only be done in the weekend when shopping streets are packed. As a newbie it is hard to calibrate, doing streaks is a great way to calibrate. These sporadic pickups are ruining my game and my self-esteem. Yesterday it was a lesbian girl that I approached and I was empty handed.. that stung a little. Today I approached 3 girls. The first one was underage. And the second and third one had a boyfriend. I was very uncalibrated in the sense that I was very giddy, responsive (instead of being in my own power), and in a way sucking energy from the two girls, I almost felt like a parasite. They were all ok conversations besides the one who was underage which was cringe. Actually I shouldn't be disappointed or feel bad about approaching girls who are taken. The one joked about my directness and we had a laugh, and the other one was fun too when I did a push-pull about her trousers. I really need to stop being direct (which causes rudeness, bluntness, clumsiness and being uncalibrated). Where does this directness come from? It is anti-flexibility, perhaps from fear and neediness? I don't feel good in my skin. I want results but why? I'm not happy with myself and in my core I know a girl wouldn't make me happy; in fact other people say this and I can learn from other people; I need to be happy with myself before I can make other people happy. There is a forks in the road. I can stop doing pickup and never solve this or I can continue doing pickup and solve my problems. It is not easy though. Doing pickup is confront girls as much as confronting myself. I hate this ugly side that I described above. I push it in my shadow which is not good! I need to take this ugly side of myself out of the shadow and integrate it.... I feel shitty! And I know where this shittiness comes from: it comes from going into my shadow by doing pickup! Why am I so direct? Well, I'm new with this so it is logical than I'm not very sophisticated. I just have to work on being indirect. I know the theory but I think I have to take a more layered approach. At the same time I know this directness of mine (which I underlined), a problem of my across the board. This week for me was "do! do! do!", it was reckless practice imho. Did I approach a lot? No! But for me it was a lot. Now I think it is time to introduce theory again. The lack of results, only had two numbers, that flaked, really take a toll on my selfesteem, even though a big portion of the girls I approached had a bf, one was lesbian or something else. I'm not going to disregard my emotions that I'm feeling right now. I'm hurt. And in the beginning of my pickup journey I promised I would chose myself first, love myself first, think about my interests first, think about my happiness first, and then think about other people, just like how everybody else does!

If you look generic mentor you can hire a therapist. A lot of them do mentor-ship too.

You guys might have a point here. I'm very stubborn about wanting to be no-fap because it ruined by dating life but perhaps I should be more emotionally intelligent about it. Ideally I wouldn't fap but just find a girlfriend with benefits which I can sleep around with once a week or something. I get ED from porn. It is a big deal for me.

I'm seeing her telling me she has a bf or being lesbian as a rejection. I have no proof of girls lying to me. I really need to stop with this toxic shit. One time I didn't believe a girl having a bf and her gf came up and she confirmed it. I was so embarrassed. The root cause of this behavior is neediness. I need to be one with myself but I don't know how.

Your ancestors came from a cold climate and they depended on meat to survive. It is not strange you don't run on a vegan diet. It is like putting gasoline in a diesel engine. Some vegans know that their diet doesn't work. They are just too invested. Most of them face the music when their engine breaks down but it will be too late.

I approached a girl at a bus stop. She was absolutely stunning and I canceled approaching her and did it anyway. She was very nice and had a timid personality. Unfortunately she was lesbian. I don't know if this is true or if it was a way of rejecting me. I will never know nor does it matter. I think I leaned too much on comfort building and not on attraction building. @Raphael thank you bro

It helped me to be more present and get awareness. You actually get to know yourself since pickup is an inward-out thing; inner game determines outer game and outer game determines results. I had problems with getting out of my head. What is a better way to get out of your head by putting yourself in sometimes impossible situations. Some times it works out and sometimes it doesn't. It doesn't matter. What really matters if that life energy comes into your chakra system. I have started to feel different. These energies really start to pull on you. Especially if you have a schizoid personality (not being connected to your feelings/body) day game is a really good way to bust some life energy into the body. Unfortunately there is a lot of rejections too. In the last month I got rejected more than probably my whole life times 10! It definitely created some anti-fragility and I feel like I'm just in the beginning of the learning curve. Having the power to approach any girl you want gives you a certain personal power. This power transcends into other areas of your life. I noticed this recently. I'm actually flabbergasted how I was more than a month ago and how I'm now. I still have some issues like building emotional connection, having confidence/healthy arrogance, and flirting but I'm working on it. Some girls I talk to for 10-20 minutes and I think everything goes fine and when I ask a number she says no. Unfortunately there is a lot of disappointment too but I really enjoy it. My personality has changed too. There is still playful, relaxed and fun attitude that I go into. I think it is higher presence and it just influences people without me opening my mouth. Until now I got 2 dates, and 4 phone numbers. That is a huge accomplishment for an introverted guy like me. I hope this post helps guys who are on the fence. Take the jump. Pickup can bust open your blocked charkas.

Success is not a coincidence. It is basically being one step in front of the reptilian brain. For me it is about letting go of the attachment to the substance. I want to have the choice. And choice is power. At this moment I don't have to choice to not do it and it is really hurting my self esteem. There is also shame but nobody knows about it. And the sad part is that I'm on and off with my porn addiction for the last 5 years. Fapping is not only way for releasing. Having sex with a girl is another way. I prefer the latter because I did too much of the former. You are right that no-fap builds life energy in the body, but I'm into sports and I can channel it into that. Or I can channel it into pickup; I'm very sharp when I'm on no-fap. There is only stiffness if doesn't know how to channel the energy out of the body.

@Carl-Richard that is actually how I build my streak. I started with one week no fap, then two weeks, then 4 weeks and so on. I want to stop with porn for good. I don't have a healthy reaction to porn and I'm trying to date.

That is why zen masters don't rant. They give clues and riddles for the students. In my way that is the best option in my opinion: tickle her curiosity.

@Dwarniel thank you for the advice. My problem is a matter of impulse control. I know all the negatives of too much porn, both for the watcher and for the performers. If I feel bad about myself I use porn to treat myself to cure the moment and after that I feel even worse. @Heart of Space he was a good guy.. before his psychosis. He is an example of what can go wrong. @Carl-Richard I really can't limit my usage to for example once a week. It is comparable to an alcoholic person who can't be happy with 1 glass of beer.

What are good sources? I want to do it in conjunction with a therapist. Probably do it the day before my therapy and use therapy to integrate.

It is still very rainy couldn't do many approaches. I did one approach with an eastern european girl. She was following me. I said "are you following me?".. She said "you wish".. She was playful and unfortunately I couldn't match her playfulness. In the conversation I was very serious and the attraction was quickly lost. The problem is that I didn't know how to be playful with such a stunning east European girl. Recently I decided to burn every set down so I pushed by asking forced questions. I was all over the place. I even touched her and she wasn't very hostile, she rejected me but in a playful way. There was no harshness from her side. I couldn't even force her to outright reject me. She was approaching her friend and I said "shit, I'm not prepared for this shit". I quickly asked her number and she didn't say no. She thought about it and I think she didn't want to come off as an easy girl with her friend seeing us. I joked to her friend "hi, I'm her new boyfriend". They liked that comment and I tried to engage but I didn't want to go out of my comfort zone too much. This approach was purely experimental to see how much I could do out of my comfort zone! These are the things I discovered: if I develop game I'm good enough for these girls, I need to be playful and drop the seriousness. It is easier said than done, I really have to change how I think to be playful instead of being serious. I caught myself getting really pissed off at myself for not being good at this. This is really not the way. I can't punish or push myself into being playful and light-hearted. I really have to stop treating myself like my parents treated me. It is really counter-intuitive but being nice to myself instead of punishing myself will really help me (developing a better relationship with myself) and my cause (getting girls)! If there is one thing I discovered today: game is as much emotional, than mental! Emotional labor creates real change!

I still have to read Osho. Which is a good book to begin with?

Understanding how the human psychology works is key before taking psychedelics. One really needs to become a therapist or even more knowledgeable than a therapist before playing with the BIOS of your mind.

If there are kids involved, people make the sacrifice. It is very main stream if you look at the statistic. Usually it is one of the two who get fat, the woman not getting wet or guy not interested in a fat chick, both are miserable but they stay together because of the kids.

After such videos I kind of get discouraged to take psychedelics but I'm so prepared for psychedelics, I don't know what I can do more. At the same time, Conner seemed like such a smart and intelligent guy, he was definitely not the dumbest guy around the block. He broke and fried his brain. For the last 3 months I studied psychology and now I'm balls deep studying psychedelics but I'm going back and forth if I should wait or not wait with the dive.

@Heart of Space what do you like about him? @Hulia there are good about this on the book list

A lot of relationships end in a no sex zone and people stay together for the kids but in new relationships sex is important.

Nihilism is a product of an empty heart. Nihilism is not rocket science. It is a lack of feeling in one's life. Feelings are really the thing that keep you alive; feelings cause you to move and not be stationary. I still have to watch the video though. The videos are so long.

Chakras don't exist and buddhists don't say chakras exist. It is a way of understanding the body and the mind. It is the means, not the end.