StarStruck

She said: "do you want to meet another time? I'm very tired, hot from the weather, and sick. I'm afraid I won't be cheerful with you today. :(" So no, she didn't give me another time and date. It would have been our third date. First date was instant date. Second date was given without any problems. The thing with intuition is that it is developed. I don't have a lot of experience so my intuition usually sucks with new things like text game. If I listen to my feelings I would hit her up every day to ask how her day is. I'm not doing that of course. I'm texting very minimal and I don't know if that is good. She might become cold towards me.

I guess it wasn't shit in my head. She really flaked on me today. I wrote about it above.

So what you can read above happened earlier this day. I'm still bumped about it. She might want to date next week or maybe not. It is so hard to read girl's signals. They give out mixed signals on purpose is what I found out. Especially this girl. It would have been our third girl and I can honestly say she might want to do our third date next week if you read how she responded, but you will never know with women. If she shows up, I will get my vengeance in bed. She flaked on me so I went out to meet hotties The moment she flaked on me. I decided to go to the city centre and talk to 5 girls. I think I talked to 6 girls. I'm much more confident and girls love that. Especially hot girls love when a guy comes up confident because most guys come up creepy, weird and unconfident and it is a change for them I think. My reason for approach was not to get another girl but to get out of my head. I got real depressive when she flaked on me. I was looking forward to it and I think I also fell in love with her. It just pains me that she prefers to sit at home right now rather to be with me. I decided to say fuck that and I went out to talk to girls. Confident but not confident enough for the real hotties The real hot girls usually have a boyfriend though or they say they have a boyfriend. My confidence is not 10/10 and I'm not doing good with 8/10 to 10/10 girls. One really needs flawless games. If there are some interruptions in the game or vibe is off in between, they just lose attraction, I can feel and I can pinpoint when girl lose attraction. When you are out of touch with feelings and get into your head she will get into her head too. Again: game is done through feelings, not through logic. Almost all of my conversations were good. I just joked a lot and I wasn't serious. I wasn't outcome depended and I just had fun. Unfortunately the hot ones had bf's and the one girl that wasn't that hot didn't but everything was perfect besides the closing. I think I need to work on how I close sets. I close them very abrupt and I think I can do it a different way. Her excuse for not giving me her number was "I don't meet with guys that I meet on the street". Give and take; in that order When I talk to girls I notice they really like my confidence and vibe (the energetic vibe that I borrowed from my pickup friend). My problem is that I run out of things to say and I want to take from her on an energetic level. It is really creepy and weird. When I do this I feel like an emotional beggar and guess what? That is exactly what I'm. What I'm trying to do is to stop this automatic behavior of value sucking from the other. It is not easy because it is a habit. In the future, on an energetic level, I will try to give much more than I take from the girl; preferably 80% give / 20% take. Asian fish on the hook I got real nice convo with an Asian girl. She is really hot. She was waiting for a gf. I opened and hooked. Got her logistics. She said she had 13 minutes before her gf came. I said to my self "read, set, start". We vibed very well and I got her number. I sent her a msg afterwards and she seemed receptive. She told me she has a lot of exams and shit. I think I will keep hitting her up until her exams are over and then just go for a coffee date. That if she doesn't flake on me. There is nothing to complain about It is really stupid to complain about dating. It is what it is. The complaints from women are valid. The complaints of men are valid. Because I'm a men I will care about my own complaints, the same way women only care about their complaints and not care about men's complaints. Women keep flaking on good men and they complain whey men are not loyal and can't commit to one woman. Now when I hear something like that I just laugh. Really, the only thing you can do is just laugh. Women are highly unpredictable. Women are like nature while men are culture (quote from Jordan Peterson). I'm not going to commit to a girl for this reason. Time after time I get disappointed. I have to adapt to "nature" to survive. Thanks to women I stopped believing in love. I'm just going to think about my own interests, invest in myself, be ruthless as women, chose the best possible mate, and above all... do not trust women. I feel a little better After some action that I took today: I did 5-6 approaches and I feel a little better about that blonde girl that flaked on our third date. She told me she wasn't feeling well. I told her I hope she feels better soon. She didn't even take the time to write something back. Man, I don't want to say bad things. I even contemplated giving a red rose to this girl. I'm not trying to get angry. I'm just trying to learn the lessons. That is all what I can do.

Sadona method explained in this video can also be used to let go of heart break or can even be used with pickup to convince her of things Can you allow yourself to feel the feeling? (Positive or negative) Could I let this feeling go? Would you allow it go? When would allow it go?

She canceled our third date few hours before it would happen. She says: "do you want to meet another time? I'm very tired, hot from the weather, and sick. I'm afraid I won't be cheerful with you today. :(" Hmmz. I'm so disappointed. I was looking forward to this date. Perhaps she is as nervous as me. I think she likes me. I could see her emotions last time. But part of me says she is just not going to see me again. I'm so tired of disappointment. I so want to stop. It just drains my energy too much. I feel like the universe is against me.

Love yourself. You will attract what you are. If you love yourself and see qualities of yourself, you will value yourself and don't depend your worth if a woman loves you are not. Read the book human magnet personality. Women are a commodity and they should be treated as such. It is easier said than done. Especially if have a certain past. Don't treat women as princesses. Treat them for what they are. Relationships are very selfish. Everybody is in it for themselves so you should be in it for yourself. You seem like a nice guy. Try to be a raging dick. Experiment with different ways of being. See what works.

Tomorrow I have a date and I'm looking forward to it. At the same time I'm depressive because of nofap. I'm keep passing frontiers and I should be happy but I can't. I'm faced with my abusive past and the effects of those: my addictions, namely porn. I hope brighter days are ahead. Where I don't have to worry about porn induced erectile dysfunction. I don't want to die this way. I don't have forever to fix my issues. I'm preparing for death. God knows where this road will lead. I'm sitting in the park. The sun is shining. The birds are flying. Kids playing. And I'm facing my inner demons in the midst of it.

Yesterday I met some Buddhists from India in the park. They invited me. It was kind of a weird encounter. They were fascinated by me because of my knowledge of spirituality and Buddhism in particular. I felt kind of weird. Next week invited to their picnic. I'm just going to go for the experience. Tomorrow I'm having my third date. I'm looking forward to it but also I'm nervous. I want things to go like I want but perhaps I should let things happen as they will happen.

Additional insights about game after yesterday (thanks to Polish girl) Game is really done from feelings. The moment you get in your head. She gets in her head and logic is a killer for attraction. Feelings are a catalyst for game. Game is really like surfing on waters and balancing. Another aspect of game is planning ahead in a conversation. You don't want to plan everything out. Especially when you approach it is best to be lucid as possible but once you are in it is good to make a general plan in your head of the major points you want to hit within the framework of open-hook-vibe-close I noticed that game is muscle memory and slowly building that muscle. Game is really done with the unconscious. The only purpose of the conscious part of your brain is to set targets and priorities (this goes back to psycho cybernetics) by surrendering to the unconscious (motions of the ocean of feelings) you really get places. When I look back to yesterday. I wouldn't have a banger approach if I was stuck up and a control freak. Letting go of fear. Letting go of outcome dependence was another point. I was thinking: Friday I have a date with another girl so what does it matter if she rejects me. Approaching out of principe. I approached to approach and nothing more than that. My motto is one approach per day keeps the doctor away. And nowadays I don't approach a lot but at least 1 approach per day. I still have this softness, niceness, overreaching. I'm trying to be conscious of it and not suppress it. I'm not sure how to get rid of this. I will check it out. Thanks. Actually it is good advice. Ego is fighting back and the suffering is just a way to make me stop in my track. It would have a better time if it just surrendered.

I need to find good NLP sources, books and programs. Currently I'm just suffering. She could cancel our third date and there is nothing that stops her doing that. I'm really unconscious why that is but probably I'm afraid that if she rejects me it will prove that I'm still an incel and not worthy of a gf. Only solution seems to be this: massive action, and massive experience. Dating a lot of girls. Getting rejection a lot until one develops antifragility.

I'm making huge shifts in paradigms. As a past incel it is not simple as "just don't believe your thoughts". There is a reason why incels are incels. They are very stubborn. I still can't believe she wants a date with me to be honest. She might cancel (real possibility) although last time I could clearly see she had feelings for me. Not all girls are obsessed with looks.

@Striving for more Thanks, that is one of the reasons why I'm doing it. If you sub, you will get notifications. All I can say to you is that you should trust the process and keep making steps.

Meditation is key to calm your psyche. Remember the trigger of becoming shaky in your body and do pranayama's to release. Did you get her number or did you pull her? My pickup friend showed me how he looked. It can't be explained really. It is on an energetic level. It is not how you look, it is how you are. It can't be faked. It is a look that says: I have options I fucked countless girls But at the same time it shows her that she is special It is warmness but also some hardness It is disarming and calibrated It is fun/passionate but also some animalness in it

So Friday I have a third date with that hot girl. I'm looking forward to it but I'm also nervous but less nervous than last week. I notice that I'm planning everything ahead. I want it to go well because it is so rare for me but at the same time I should ease a little bit. I do have sympathy for myself. I did one approach today Polish girl in gym I have a weak spot for Polish girls. They are just rawwrrr. My testosterone just started boiling when I saw her. I didn't want to approach but I tricked myself in doing it. I had to use her machine so I asked when she would be finished and she was very nice so I decided to proceed talking. One thing let to another and we started talking about general gym stuff, what she is doing in life, what I'm doing in life, and then there was some flirtation. I started looking naughty at her (something I learned from my pickup friend) she started looking back naughty. I really should built upon this feeling but in some way I lost this sexual tension. I can't recall how I broke the sexual tension but it was a mistake. She looked at me like she was DTF right there. I can't recall everything but I lost the emotional connection some way and she said she had to go back to her machine. I was late with pulling her in I thought it is now or never and I pulled the trigger. I asked her if she wanted to train together some time or drink some wine. She said no. I made some jokes about her being non-binary and if she was afraid of my moustache. She really liked the jokes but I could see she wasn't won over. I really didn't want to push so I told her she should think about it. Her answer "if I see you next time". What kind of answer is that? Was she just being nice? Did I didn't push enough or what? I thought she was not open to give her number but "if I see you next time" is kind of a mixed signal. If I see her next time, and ask her for a date she could mean yes or no based on that answer. Can somebody give his take on this approach? All in all I was happy with this approach, I gained new confidence and I noticed I can cross transfer reference experience from that blonde girl to other sets and build that same connection with other girls. This was a fun little approach. Currently, I'm focused on Friday. Edit: some of my own observations and lessons I gained from this approach This was a high quality girl. She is doing PhD, she is 22 and fruity and smoking hot. She has all the options of the world. Why would she chose me? I'm just a dude who is doing a bachelor, yes I'm somewhat fun, but I'm just a dude with a dick in her eyes. I needed to PERSONalize my approach much more. Give more details about myself. Show more of my PERSONality. Girls love emotions. This is what I learnt from my pickup friend. He is shit at talking and dumb as dirt but he is good at emotions. I did what he did. I dropped thinking and just feeling and surf on those feelings. The words/concepts spoken out loud are just cherry on top of the cake so to say Holding frame is key. Girls are very sensitive to this. This is a litmus test for them to see how much man you are. When I got the sexual hook, I should have capitalized on that. Flirting is just a tool. A tool to disarm her. Being a man is the foundation in every man to women. During night game girls won't fuck you because you are hot. Perhaps at night game. During the night it is all about the emotional interaction. I need to find a way to break through last minute resistance. I always fail at that. On one hand they are attracted and want to give me their number and at the other hand they don't want to give their number. I can see their inner struggle. Near death experience because of pickup On my way back home, I was waiting at the light eyeballing a girl across the street. I was so focused on her that I didn't even look left of me. I didn't intend to cross the street but just wait until the lights were green but if I had decided to cross the street I would be death. A bus drove from the other side of the road and I was totally unaware of buses passing from the other side of the road. Perhaps I'm just imagining this scenario and perhaps I would have looked both side of the roads when crossing but I still got shocked by it. What happened right there was a microcosm of my inner world: I'm too focused on girls at the expense of other things... even my own very life. I wished death. I almost got it.

So there was a database error and the forum lost content of the last 2 days. I don't remember what I wrote but I will try to remember it. I really like this episode. It fits with my struggles with the recent girl I'm dating. Carol Dweck's book called Mindsets is a great addition to the advice Leo is giving. Reframing success, failure and focusing on experience rather than results is key. She accepted the third date The whole drama I created after me not kissing her on the second date was not needed. Her schedule became clear and she said she would like to do something on friday. I'm still not sure what I want to do with her. Probably pick her up with my car and give her a red rose. Drive her to get an ice cream and take a walk and then take her to my home to cook. She says she is a great cook. We could make something together. My flirtation with the dentist assistant Yesterday I went to the dentist. The assistant who took me from the waiting room and did the cleaning of my death was very nervous. I really couldn't understand why. I thought she probably liked me so I did some subtle gaming. I threw out some topics we could talk about and that gave me the chance to flirt with her a little. She calmed down and started flirting back. She asked me why I smoked (last week I had couple of smokes because of a friend). I told her that I was an easy target for manipulation. She said "if that is so can I manipulate you to stop smoking?" I told her "if you become my gf I will". This was not very subtle and she liked it but I kind of regretted. I was kind of ashamed that I played open card. My rule is not to be so explicit with gaming girls that I see often. I will see her every time I go to the dentist and she will know I hit on her. Making plans I really need to make a grand strategy. I'm too tired to think about it. I promised myself I would make a plan today and use Todd's System as a model to plan out individual sections of game that I want to improve and how I want to integrate it. I will think about how I want to do it.

From the stories on the first page I already got a little excited. ?

That is the salt and pepper of this forum. Learning happens when clashes happen. It was midnight when I discovered that thread and I was looking forward to read it the next morning. I kind of hoped for some spicy sexual stories by the female members of this forum. ??

I'm so sad that I won't be able to read that thread about female bad experiences with dating.

Leo's advice about 3 compliments and 1 is a secret really worked well. She is all over me trying to get an answer. I think it is certain that I can get a third date for next week. She was chasing me in the beginning. Then I was chasing her. It is her turn again. I'm really making progress but I'm not really happy. I have this fear of life that Alexander Lowen talks about. I rather go back being an incel and live in an emotional vacuum. Yesterday I met up with my pickup friend. He wants to do pickup together. I really feel like a fish out of water. I'm getting the things I want namely girls and friends but I was naive about what it entailed.

It is very useful. I already read two of his books and I took some notes and that is about it. I have trouble with dissociation so I have trouble with feelings. Perhaps it might help me to know the scale by heart. For people who read his books. Did you memorize the scale?

Related to this: It is so important to be grounded and integrate non-integrated parts. Now I'm dating, somebody liking me and not ghosting me, feels so not familiar. I need to read these books Attachment style books Magnetic personality book

I'm just mindblown. It is just really about the emotional interaction. To interact with others you have to know your own energy system. Mind, body, and right positive energy (600+ on consciousness level) have to be on one line. Consciousness level is influenced by interactions with other humans. My consciousness level is usually around shame. I should do mindfulness during interactions and let go of emotions to transcend them.

Major insight: deception is soooo key in social dynamics. You have to know the social matrix. And you have to know how to hack the social matrix. If you are knucklehead who has unflexible principles and just steam roll over people's emotions, you will become an incel. Another insight about incels: it is not the incells have lower morals than a fuckboy. The incell is just incapable of manipulation of the social matrix because he is not engaged in the outer world, but rather the inner world.

My insights after talking with a natural pickup guy who can barely talk the local language and he is slaying it, he literally has a harem. Insights: Girls really like to be lied too. If you autistic and don't understand female's emotional system forget about it. You will be walking through a mine field. Deception is at the heart of pickup. Deception is needed to not trigger a mine. Pickup is not really the transfer of words, facts or whatever. It is the transfer of emotions. It is important to be plugged in into the social matrix so your ego can become part of something bigger called a relationship. Basically words and emotions is both energy. But words are more defined energy. And emotions are lesser defined energy. Pickup is done with lesser defined energy and it is subtle by nature. Girls love subtility. Girls love guys who love themselves. Narcissistic people. They don't need morals. The narcissistic person can manipulate himself into a girl's pants. My observations say that girls love to sleep around with liars who tell them sweet little lies or just know how to titillate her emotional buttons.

I'm really ashamed to share myself with others because of my many screw-ups in life and I tend to be naive, child like and inexperienced in life while I'm a guy in my prime. A lot of people appreciate my courage though. A person with my traumatic background aren't met to be successful in social life.