StarStruck

If I give my phone number to a fat chick and I change my mind about her, I wouldn't ghost her, I would have the dignity to her and explain to her I changed my mind about her and have the respect to explain. I'm not blaming or something. I'm trying to understand these bitches.

I approached 5 separate girls on my way to the supermarket. 4 rejections but the cutest one gave me her number. She is into philosophy. We are texting since we met. Observations about myself Ad hoc openers: commenting on something about her works much better than using generic openers Care less, that is really what I have to do more: 80% friendly behaviour, 20% dickish behaviour Polarize more; say things that will make her reject you or accept you The way to stopping yourself qualifying, is to make her qualify The formula to make anything fun: go off script! No boring conversations!

Girls made me like this. Why do you think most nice guys are looking for answers? They are frustrated. I'm just a little bit over the top at the moment. It is a phase. After I get the lifestyle I want.. I will integrate and be more well-rounded. Trust me. I wish I could stay a nice guy but nice guys finish last. If you want to be angry at anybody be angry at girls/women who reward the opposite of a nice guy. This is the game and we guys are just rolling with it. That is because of porn. That is why I'm doing nofap. Girls already call me "nice guy" all the time.. in my freaking face.. and you tell me to be more feminine? My problem is that I care too much, that I'm too needy and probably also hurt. I don't know if those will be solved by being more feminine. Anyway, I will look into it. Thanks for the heads up.

@Roy trimming didn't work for me. Sometimes a guy just needs to take a leap to see where the edges are. And then come back and integrate.

@Etherial Cat I approached tons of women and I hear the phrase "you are nice" or "you are a nice guy" so often. I heard it so much that I got sick of it. I'm not kidding. Now I switched it up, now I don't hear that phrase anymore. I hear the phrase "you have balls" more often and I get actual success. The problem is that my niceness is very deep in my core so it can creep up. For the record. I don't have resentment against girls or women. Yes, I got hurt by a girl recently but that is not resentment. That is pain and yes guys have a heart too, they can experience pain too.

I would be considered a nice guy and other guys never treat me poorly because I'm a capable man. The only area where I get treated bad is in the area of dating. I think this guy is right:

To fuck her brains out. These types are no marriage material.

You have to give her a hard time or she will give you a hard time. Never treat her nice unless she deserves it.

@Peter Miklis bingo

To defeat the enemy you have to understand their psychology Weak guy is probably closer to what girls don't like. According to Jordan Peterson, girls like guys who have integrated their inner psychopath. Nice guys are not capable of being psychopaths to protect her from danger. I guess this hardwired in women. Those shit test that you are talking about is about this. Nature (female energy) wants to be contained by culture (masculine energy)

You feel bad about not approaching because you don't have the harem (or one girl) you so desire. Just keep approaching and you will come to a point that you either get what you want or you will be depressed and forced to look inside.

You need to develop this: I'm very niave about girls too. And the more I interact with girls the more I lose my innocence.

Do you go out solo? I tried to go out solo and it is very hard to self-amuse and not be over-reaching to others. It is just so awkward. I'm just standing around with a beer, value scanning the place. Sure I can talk to some dudes to connect but is a marathon. I don't get how people can enjoy themselves 3+ hours in basically just some rooms with hard music.

So I tried 2CB for the first time of my life. Every time I take some psychedelics I always tell myself that I was a fool for not taking psychedelics earlier and that I should do it every 2 weeks. I know why I don't do psychedelics in hard times... I remember now: I swore it off because it was so overwhelming. This trip was different because I have become a different person. I can actually - unconditionally - listen to my heart and not be nasty to it. It is my decision not to write a trip report. It is too personal, but what I can say is this. When I take psychedelics I always think in analogies and the story of Frankenstein was a major part.. “I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.” ― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

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She was all dolled up little blonde. Meeting me in a park. She had an amazing dress and I fell in love. I was so nervous I couldn't kiss her. We had a lot of fun discussions but I forgot to keep it male to female. I feel like I messed up. The hurt is so much that I wished I didn't start pickup/dating women. How could I have kissed her. She had a bag between us. I couldn't get close. My brain just wasn't working. Do you think I messed it up or am I overreacting?

@bazera type into youtube: RSD Tyler or Julien

There are a lot of civilizations that have gone instinct. Personally I think it is possible for civilization fuck up and take couple of years to recover. In the meantime it will be hunger games for the average joe. Civilization can be fucked up in so many different ways. Even some excess radiation from the sun could take out something simple like electricity and just wait and see what shit shows unfold.

I will definitely not confront her or take contact with her but as a last ditch effort I will try it. The more she can hurt me the more I can grow. That is actually what I do with girls who's number I get and they flake through text. I just call them until they have the decency to pickup the phone and tell me. After two times it stopped hurting and gave me freedom. I'm really busy on develop self-esteem. That is the major point for me. Girls can just smell a little pitch of neediness or creepiness. When I approach really hot girls I vibe with them very well but after I while they just smell the stench of niceness and they get repulsed.

I would love to find more wingmen but it is difficult to find them.

I went to the super market. I talked to a blonde worker than caught my eye a while back. It went really good. We exchanged names and I left. I planted the seed in her brain. Next time I will escalate. Ps: I'm at home and I'm having a huge ego backlash. Last week's girl who canceled our third date two times in a row really got under my skin. My ego is in overdrive and I want to do all my addictions. I'm fighting against it as we speak and it is hard to negotiate with it. If I relapse I will be devastating. I'm at home alone, gaming myself. It is fight club. The universe put me in this spot for a reason. This is what I need right now. I need to face the music. I need to face myself. Now I'm listening to myself my heart starts talking. I feel deeply hurt about that girl who canceled me but I know why I failed. It wasn't her fault. I failed because I was to weak to face myself, facing my emotions, develop self-esteem, self-mastery, self-love. Self-love is really what I lack. I wouldn't be have a porn addiction and other addictions if I really loved myself. I would have stopped years ago... and now I'm deciding I'm not continuing with that shit. Every moment of my body is either self-love or self-hate. Perhaps... self-love is too far stretched for me. Let's start with self-respect.

@flowboy thanks for the truth pill. To be honest, I really ask that question "what are these older people doing with their life if they're not getting laid?" and it makes me depressed to get old. I know the solution: life purpose. But getting girls seems so more juice than my life purpose, right now.

In a way learning game is about gaming yourself. If you have a tyrannical ego that doesn't allow you to feel emotions, or more precisely an ego that doesn't create a safe space for yourself so emotions can manifest, emotions will simply not show up which leads to being emotionally disconnected from life. Isn't gaming a girl about the same thing? A girl will never show her feminine side if you can't create a safe space as the masculine counterpart. Both counterparts have equal stake though for things to work out. In my opinion inner love works the same. The healthy ego (masculine energy) plants the seed in the fertile feminine soil (heart) so it can blossom into a flower which is called (inner) love. Without being esoteric and putting it more simple.... ego is controlling power and heart is feminine allowing power. Within our own system as a human we need a good balance of both. If you are all love you are just overly feminine. If you are all ego you are just very masculine. I'm the latter. The universe told me to game myself: develop a healthy ego, create trust within myself and be nice to myself. The former is really not possible without the latter although the latter is just as important. In this thread I used inner jihad a lot. I thought inner jihad was a war against the self. I was wrong. So important to keep an eye how the ego interprets things. War against oneself is really punishing and masculine (inner dad?) While we also need an inner mom that is soft and loving. I will still use inner jihad, because I'm really my own general but a good general is smart and wins battles without bloodshed. If I boil it down, it comes down to this: Girls love guys with healthy egos..... people say girls don't like needy and creepy guys. That doesn't strike at the heart of the problem. The - heart - of the problem is an unhealthy ego. Interesting sources: https://www.pdthinker.com/healthy-ego.html https://www.juliabushue.com/blog/healthy-ego

Today I got a small emotional breakdown after contemplating. I don't get emotions that often so it was kind of a big deal. I saw how my dysfunctional mother influenced how I connect to people and how I especially connect with women. There is a reason why I don't trust people or don't open up. And there is a reason why I have difficulty connecting with people. It is projection really. I already knew this on an intellectual level but knowing it on an intellectual level is not that much if there is no emotional connection to the truth. As Buddhists say, wisdom is really in the heart and the heart should be used to integrate the wisdom. For some reason I was able to to silence my mind and just listen to my heart... and it lead me places. Perhaps it was the modafinil from yesterday. Yesterday I was really going hard. I couldn't stop approaching. I did 3 hours of nonstop approaching. Afterwards contemplating on it like a mad man. This was really the process Coming out of inertia, taking massive actions Being exhausted, ego defenses being weakened, Ego defenses collapsing Having the chance to listen to my heart and getting amazing wisdom Do I have to use the sequence every time to access my wisdom? Hell to the no. The average person can easily access the heart especially if you are somebody who can easily cry. The problem with me is that I can't easily cry or listen to my heart. Teal Swan demonstrates how it can be done: It is really going towards the inner storm, towards the eye of the storm. My ego just bails when I try to do this. It is really about loving yourself which means listening to what is in the heart. Now I think back at it. By listening to the heart is how I cured my porn addiction. It can be used to solve other problems. My issue is that I don't have a strong ego. It has a hard time setting boundaries so it overcompensates through being over controlling. The way to the heart is about having a healthy well balanced ego.