StarStruck

Why do you think? Girls can cheat too.

On last Friday I did a LSD trip to heal my broken heart and do some shadow work: I used Leo's trauma healing/forgiving video and I feel like I only scratched the surface. I have a lot of forgiving work to do. Especially on my mother and opposite sex. Having a disintegrated heart and resentment or other dense feelings is really what is holding me back. This ties into psycho-cybernetics. One really brings to the table what you are. If one is broken internally and seeks to find the other to complete oneself, it just doesn't work. If anything, that girl sidetracking me and leaving me in shambles, showed me how much internal work I have to do. At one hand it just sucks. At the other hand, I'm glad she did it.

@Javfly33 @John Iverson logistics means logistics. So if it is possible to date her. If she has time. If she is available and has no bf. If it is possible to pull her home or get an instant date.

Just become the asshole

In my opinion my problem is not lack of self love but lack of a healthy ego. I just crumbled by what happened. I need to develop some boundaries, anti fragility and healthy egoism. In other words I need to turn the tables around. I feel like girls are manipulating me. I have to create so much personal power that I can manipulate them. And yes, there is some toxicity in this but I don't chose my life.

It is hard to just sit and love myself. When I had her it was much easier to love myself. I felt on cloud 9. Perhaps I was too quick to like her but everything was going right. She agreed to visit my place and suddenly she canceled and is acting cold. I guess it was the sudden change of her behavior that got me. If I take a step back and look at what happened, I'm also glad that it happened. I got fired up and I realized I have to take even more action. The thing that is frustrating is that I'm already taking 90% more action than regular guys who are just lazy at get tinder dates or dates from their social circle.

I agree but sometimes the heart doesn't listen to the brain. I'm so drunk with love that I can't think straight. Snuitje made some good points and I would give the same advice to another person but the reality is this: the more I resist the heart break the more it hurts, so for now I just let it be and meditate on the pain (but not attach to the pain). I never had a real girlfriend. That is the real problem and I'm really desperate to get one. I wish I could just drop that need and just focus on my LP but my heart (where the inner wisdom is) is trying to teach me something. Something I don't understand. The more I move towards dating girls, the more pain I encounter. The pain is a teacher that teaches me to not depend on others, and that love is perhaps not for me. What I read is this.. if this logistics are right: Beginner: 10% success rate Intermediate: 20-30% success rate Expert: 40-50% success rate

Find out what the people you like are doing in their free time and do that. I discovered all the hot girls are dancing so I'm going to try salsa.

That is what I'm doing right now. I'm focusing on trauma healing and forgiving people from my past so that I can become a lighter person. The thing is that I just don't have the life style for people to gravitate towards me. I work from home and the only parts of the day I come outside where I see people is in the super market and in the gym. I was hoping to make a social circle of friends but it isn't working.

I can never disagree with you. I'm reading one book a day. I'm fired up. But at the same time the pain is just unbearable. I loved this girl and everything was going ok. She was coming to my house. And she just changed her mind and now she is giving me the silent treatment, not taking contact with me for days while previously she would always text me something every 3 days. Bars/clubs are closed. Only cafes are open but I don't have the friends to go out to cafes. I'm destined to day game.

I totally understand the OP. Hard truth is that cards are not already dealt fairly. Just self-actualizing is not enough. That is just the foundation. On top of that you have to become highly manipulative to be able to get some regular steady ass from day game.

I'm already going to therapy once a week. I watched the whole video. I will definitely try it tomorrow. I read that book a while back. I remember it made an impact on me so it might do me good to reread it. The thing is that I kind of given up. Perhaps for me it is good to just give up and surrender and accept it just doesn't work out. I did everything by the book and it just doesn't work out. It is not meant to be. I'm kind of heart broken by that girl that doesn't want to meet up any more. I don't want other girls. I just want her but she is "busy" and obviously I'm not a high priority for her.

It was a while back when I took LSD for the last time. I had no intentions set. One hour in I felt awful. I felt stuck in this "matrix" and I was really not feeling it. I decided to put on Leo's video about trauma release and forgiving. That really had a healing effect. I think that had more effect on me than 8 months of therapy. So I'm definitely not disappointed with the trip but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Whenever I take psychedelic I just get suicidal or sick of existence. After having watched Leo's trauma release and forgiving video I decided to take a ride on my bicycle because I had couple of emotional hours inside the house. A long story short: I met an older lady who experienced a mystical experience and explained infinite love to me. She was stage blue person. She told me some crazy stories about her being atheist and not knowing anything about the bible and somehow she "downloaded" knowledge about god and she met god in person. She didn't convince me to become Christian of course but she definitely poked my curiosity towards mystical experiences. I'm definitely going to proceed with non-duality, god realization and healing of the heart. This is really what I need but I don't know how to proceed.

I noticed that it is better to ask a number than ask for a coffee date. Why? Getting number is low threshold. Her agreeing on a date I means her committing on something. In the latter it is needed to ask her number anyway to meet up. I noticed that girls find it a big step to agree on a coffee date on the spot. What works for me is this baby stepping sequence: to get number > ask for date. Am I having a wrong paradigm about this? Nowadays I'm kind of reluctant to ask for coffee dates in the near future or asking for instant dates. I feel like girls find it too heavy or are they just not interested enough?

@flowboy that is true. I get numbers and a lot don't ignore me but they are just reluctant to meet me because I'm just a dude that was fun to speak to and meeting up with me is kind of a big step I guess. I think you are right. Todd from RSD calls it narrative building. I'm kind of reluctant to do that because I think girls will find it weird that a guy talks about future narratives between me and the girl. Also don't know what kind of narrative I can use. Usually I say you seem fun, let's get a coffee. They agree on the spot but I can see them hesitant. Couple of days pass and I check up and they don't seem very open. Also I'm not very frightening. I always approach girls in busy streets. They can easily reject me without danger.

“Alas! I regret that I am taken from you; and, happy and beloved as I have been, is it not hard to quit you all? But these are not thoughts befitting me; I will endeavor to resign myself cheerfully to death, and will indulge a hope of meeting you in another world.” – Mary Shelley

Could we say paradigm = dream? I feel like paradigms are mini dreams. I got out of couple of nasty paradigms and now that I look back at them it feels like a dream.

I see these dudes at the gym talking random shit, just joking around, basically gaming the room, attracting attention. I saw some girls just be drawn towards the "fun". They don't even need to approach. It creates massive rapport. I befriended those guys so I thought I would join them but I'm just too much in my head. If I turn off the filters and just vibe around but... I'm just not able to spit game the way they do. Sometimes I feel such a retard. Basically these guys are just themselves. They aren't try-hards. But I do try to become one of them. Should I just make my peace and accept that I'm not one of them?

Ok, now I'm understanding girls much better. I'm just playing with different paradigms. I'm a needy guy and I'm not ashamed to admit my needs and If they want that non-needy guy I can become it by deception. I have two options: be authentically needy or be deceptive non-needy. Girls push me to be the latter. And currently I do have multiple girls that I'm hitting up. What I'm doing right now works. Girls like to be gamed and that is what I'm doing. I don't have trouble getting phone numbers. I'm just frustrated about their flaking and treating nice guy like my self like dirt. After Flowboy's explanation I kind of get it now.

I know. I'm not planning to hold these beliefs on the long term but at this moment it works. Girls are my enemy. This mindset is a gamechanger. I'm just going with what works for me, not what works for other people. We are all in different places on our road map. Good advice for one person is bad advice for the other. There is no perfect A to B plan to get out of incel-hood. I'm just going with what works. At this moment I need to be ruthless and integrate my inner psychopath as Jordan Peterson recommends. I will get into shadow work very soon.

I approached two seperate girls on my way. Both went really good. One had bf. The other girl I approached with beautiful eyes was single. I got her number and she agreed on coffee. The book no more mister nice guy is a game changer. I still have to fully integrate the taught paradigm. After reading this book I got a blabber mouth. Pickup really becomes effortless but not perfect. Being an imperfect human is part of being a PUA. When you own your weaknesses it becomes a strength.

I was a hard case incel so I know what I'm talking about. Girls are NOT on our team. Read the book no more mister nice guy. Girls love guys who can take care of themselves and can stand on their own feet. Yes, there is collaboration between the sexes but when push comes to shove we are on our own.

Men and women are not on the same team in casual dating. Both parties are out for their own (survival) interests. That is my experience.

Why do you think I made up my mind?

Fair enough. I'm not whining. I'm trying to understand my opponent's mindset. Also most women on this forum deny women's behavior at large. Having a discussion with them is not whining. This is the way to learn from them. I never try to convince women. It is impossible. I'm confused right now. Some people are serving me up some feminity. Others are serving me up some masculinity. lol. I don't want a relationship. Of course if settle down to be a beta male provider, there will be some girls who are desperate and want to settle down. I know two who want that but I don't want that. I want to casually date for the time being. If a girl is calling me nice I'm doing something wrong. I know that much. True.