StarStruck

Only way to not be needy is to get what you want. There is a great saying. The hungry don't get fed. And the people who are not hungry get fed. The question is how to get out of the paradox. I know I shouldn't pretend and just be less needy but how.

The word of a girl is worth nothing when doing pickup. I can safely say this after having approached hundreds of women. Today I saw a girl who's number I got. I told her why she doesn't text me. She told me she would and I'm still waiting. Logic = promises = men Logic =/= girls Emotions = girls Pickup = emotions = male self-love = you get to do whatever you like with her This is the insight: as a male you can talk the biggest nonsense but enjoy yourself and give her good vibes, and you would make multitudes more chance with her if you are a honest, moral, nice guy that is perfect but is boring and logical.

True. It is about the heart chakra. Loving the self, loving life, having passions, loving her, loving the life purpose.

I'm kind of depressed and I don't have a strong purpose. Context: I'm working on trauma's. Focusing on healing myself. That would be my purpose right now.

I love khan academy. Thanks.

Everybody is trying to get the best deal. As a guy, it is important not to seem desperate in this negotiation. A good negotiation is not only about the goods being transfered but also about customer service. As a guy it is basically necessary to play that slick salesman until you get the (her) deal.

That is like trying to find a needle in a haystack: spiritual girls are rare here. Most of stage orange. Currently just lightening up the phone number of girls that flake on me. I just want honest answers. I'm kind of done with being nice. Girls want a guy who know what he wants and knows how to get it. What I need to learn is to value my own time and not take bullshit. It is about building up character.

@Preety_India I got one female friend but she has already a bf. I made some other platonic gfs, like two, both of them have bfs. And I just wanted to hang out with them. And she says it is not appropriate, although she gave me her phone number. I'm already doing what you are saying. I'm building up an emotional connection and just having fun. What they say is this: If you approach 100 girls, 20 girl will give their number and only 5 will go on a date. I'm not even getting that kind of result. Girls are just using me for their ego gratification but probably there is also something else. One girl literally said to me that she didn't told me she has a bf because she liked the attention she got from me. After she told that to me she was kind of embarrassed about her honesty.

What is superficial about trying to get a gf?

I'm doing pickup for couple of months right now and I noticed that most girls that give me their number are insecure girls, they just give their number for an ego boost, and afterwards they are very flakey. My sexual tension towards them is very mild and I treat them as a friend so the advice women are giving is definitely not working. I will try to up the implicit sexual tension and see how that works.

He is probably an asian guy who seeks for help.

@ll Ontology ll authenticity is something I'm practicing in my life. I call it healthy egoism. I practice it with people around me but also on this forum but it is not appreciated by Leo. I do have some toxic elements and that is not weird from my pov considering my trauma's.

Insights Girl just admitted she used me for her ego. I was kind of blind of this perspective. I need to develop systems to counter this. Perhaps let her qualify more. Ask she has a bf straight up. 99% of Girls only give about their own emotions. They are ruthless about their interests. So should I. I should dive into the experience without interpretation and trust my instincts. I made massive progress by doing this. My resentment against girls shines through. I noticed this today.

@Leo Gura Ok. I got it. I was overcompensating to get out of my nice guy syndrome.

@Leo Gura I deleted that's unresponsible thread and I try to be conscious in this thread. @Preety_India the girls that like fuck boys don't admit they like them. That is the whole thing. Some girls even burn their fingers with fuck boys but they are so unaware that they keep going back to these type of guys because they are unconscious to what they are attracted.

I told myself to stop approaching but I can't. I got two phone numbers. I think they are solid. Now I'm in the park reading a book and girls are trying to get my attention by dancing and waving at me. I don't know what to do. I'm not familiar with approaching three girls. Also I get eye contact while previously I wouldn't get any or a lot. The energy that one carries is so important. It is difference between night and day.

@Striving for more I actually appreciated Hulia's response. Female perspective is different than male perspective. And from her point of view it might seem that way. We can still learn from female perspective but we are not females. We kind of need to reverse engineer their advice. Guys who are good with girls can implicitly communicate sexuality. That is where seduction happens. That is where the magic happens. It seems a lot of girls are not aware of this. For girls it is important how they feel. Nothing else is important really. That is what I learned.

Today I got an instant date and another real cute girl who was interested who keeps texting back. I don't know what I did different. I think major point is this: emotional spiking is very important. As a guy it is better to be a massive dick that pokes her emotions than be the best guy who is just boring and doesn't spike her emotions. That is the lesson I learned from this thread. Probably there is more but I need to contemplate. I don't know much about algorithms and I wouldn't know how to construct them. That is the problem.

That is true but what can I do different. Most girls only have max 10 minutes to talk. My conversations are usually between 5-15 minutes with majority to the short end. If I play my cards right I usually get her number but I don't get the chance to implement your strategy of chatting her up. They either immediately say they changed their minds about me or they ghost me. Thanks for these insights. You talk down on fuckboys but fuckboys get much more game than me, so there is something that they are doing right and I'm doing wrong. I have a friend who is a fuckboy and he get's massively rewarded by girls for being what he is and they know from their core that he is a fuckboy and they are attracted to that. He does do these things you are talking about very well though He is very good at emotional stimulation He is not desperate He has big heart but he lies to just get in their pants A lot of girls just throw sex at them although they just met him But he does have low morals For some women what they want: relationship or one night stand can change depending on the time of the month.

Good points. I'm already aware of it but sometimes I forget it. They call it PUAism versus socializing. PUAism is meant to get something from the girl Socializing is meant to get to know her. Can I ask you something? If a guy is hot enough do you tolerate PUAism? I feel like it is just my looks that hurt my success ratio. I don't look bad but I'm also not a looker. I really can't change that about myself though. Best I can do is to minimize my creepiness and boringness. Also I tend to smile a lot, I think it is too much and I can't stop it. lol. By using this I got a phone number of a really good looking girl but guess what. I asked her what she is doing today and if she wants to meet. No, answer yet. I never get fake numbers by the way. I know but the communication almost died out since she flaked on me coming to my home. I'm just dumb struck how cold hearted these girls can be. It went from I'm coming to your home to radio silence, and I gave her nothing in the mean time to change her mind about me. If anything, I learned that I need to be cold hearted as these girls. Why shouldn't I be ruthless to pursue my self interest like them? I can go to the city centre and get few numbers but none want to meet. My flake rates from girls are extraordinary high.

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Conner's strategy is no better than Leo's strategy. Both use spirituality for survival. The difference is that Conner actually followed suit and gave away all of his money and bitcoins.

I'm doing it for myself really. I still have that toxic side in me that just wants to be a fuckboy (for a while) to get the experience but I'm just too broken to do that. I'm just being honest about it: I'm in no way become an angel. I just got hurt so much by that girl putting me on hold (she is probably going to reject me) that I just want to be a stronger/healthier person for myself. Those ceremonies are expensive and I would kind of find it embarrassing. Thanks.

How can people say they transcended survival and still live in a house and such? If the illusionary self is eliminated why not take some homeless people in your house? Distribute all your money to poor people? Connor Murphy actually did this but people see him as a crazy person right now, and he got kind of disowned for his crazy behavior. I also don't think the world would be a better place if everybody was like that.

It depends on my mood but usually yes. My default state is being reserved and shields up. I can get into high conscious moods but it always goes back to the default the next day. I think it is a lack of frame; not knowing what to feel or what to say. I'm doing some grounding exercises to connect to the body/emotions/feelings/sensations and that helps a lot to get a frame on things.