StarStruck

I really wanted a date this coming weekend. All of them flaked. I'm so sad. I'm just going to surrender to the sadness and I'm not going to fight it.

The Ukrainian called Lada says she wants to meet up next week. Let's see what is going to happen. Because of the super high flake rates I lost hope and I don't trust these girls. I did 6 approaches today and I closed 2. Tall blonde fit girl called Michelle and a very sensual red head called Jard. The first one was a quick close. It was a driveby on my bicycle. The other one was sitting on a bench. This is what I learned: letting her invest is so important. Things like Letting her qualify Talking about myself and switching between multiple subjects to see what peeks her interest; letting her ask questions Using litmus test question to peek interest: what do you want to ask me? Not asking boring questions; touching upon motivations But above all; exchange of emotional interaction is so key. I'm too fucking logical and not enough emotional. I kind of push myself to be emotionally exuberant and it really helps.

So I took this girl for ice cream and she said she also want a hamburger and 5 minutes later she also wanted fries and then something else. My intention was just to buy ice cream. I bought her a hamburger out of niceness but then she wanted more and I said no but it kind of killed the mood a little bit. How could I handle this situation in the future? I think she sensed I was a nice guy. In bars girls ask for drinks too. It is easy to say no but how can I say no and not ruin the mood and still get her. That is what I'm asking.

That is what I want to be honest and it is not healthy. I need to work on that. Pickup guys I know pay until they get in her pants. If sex is the only thing you want as a guy that is the best way to go. Some people can be ruthless. They see a man as an extension of their own survival. They don't see them as a person in their own. Would you still buy them gifts if they didn't give you sex though? I get that but me being stoic is not a choice. It has become part of my personality. It is not that I don't have emotions so probably I could train to be more emotionally exuberant. Seduction happens on the emotional level so I know this is my Achilles heal.

So after yesterday (see thread above) which was a failed date, I have more bad news. I acquired 3 solid phone number last week and all of them don't want to meet up this weekend. These super high flake rates are killing me. I made a topic about this subject a while back and I still haven't solved it. Girls seem super excited to meet me and very eager to give their number. They even agree to go on a coffee date but when push comes shove they are not interested. And the excuses are all the same. Almost all girls say the same that it feels scripted. I'm busy with school or work I have to go to family I'm already fully planned this week Also some say, next week I might have some time to meet. So I come back one week later and they are busy again. It seems that I don't have a high priority for these girls. I met one Ukrainian girl yesterday. She is the last one down my pipe. I hope she wants to meet up. All this talk about abundance. I finally reached abundance in terms of contacts but it doesn't meet shit if 95% of them flake.

Good point. I will try it. To be honest I'm not excited about anything in my life although I'm doing all the things I want: I study IT and I work in IT. Nothing else interests me and I wouldn't do anything else; and I'm just a very stoic person. Let's say if I decided to talk about IT, would she even be excited to hear me talk about that? She probably wouldn't understand anything. I could keep it pretty basic but she is not a type who would be interested in hearing me talk about it. Next time I could try with another girl. I understand your point. The reason I never talk about my LP to girls is I don't want to come across as a nerd. Most girls have nothing with IT. She makes cupcakes for a living and I heard she got fired from that place. She has no hobbies, no degrees, no interests in life, and all that she talks about is about moving to a better apartment. Got it. I think the reason why I'm so stoic is that I'm lonely and depressed but to escape from loneliness I need to stop being depressed. It is a crazy strange loop and it is hard to escape. If a guy has enough value: good looks, great personality and knows how to dish out good emotions to her he can get away with not paying. I'm not saying I can't get away with not paying. I can't. That is why I'm paying. But flowboy already explained how guys can play it balsy and let her pay. I wouldn't want a girl who wants me to pay all the time. After the second date I don't pay to see what kind of girl she is. Smart guys pay until they are in your pants. After that it is 50/50 otherwise it is a no go.

Does anybody have the summary of the trauma forgiving video?

I never hear men tell women how to live their lives but I constantly hear women tell men how they should live their lives. Essentially women are the gate keepers by nature. They decide who gets to reproduce and I can tell from own experience. Women reward devilry. Do they do this consciously? No. It is just their unconscious instincts that are conditioned by thousands of years of evolution. The more you listen to women the more one understands we shouldn't listen to them. My results with women sky rocketed since I stopped giving a fuck and followed my ruthless masculine instincts. If a man is not ruthless in his nature, women become ruthless against the man. That is the bottom line. Also learned that women exploit man's insecurities. If you are an insecure man you need to fix that and not listen to women. After you created a healthy ego you can go out in the field. The book no more mister guy is highly recommended to nice guys.

Do girls care about that during an one night stand? To be clear. I ha no intention of dating her: she just doesn't check my boxes. I just wanted to have some fun with her and all the signals she gave off screamed "I'm easy and I like having fun". I have pickup friends who have nothing going on in their life and they have a dead end job. They are slaying it with girls, just because they are fun. It would be a mistake to think one has to become mister perfect to get laid. At the moment I just want to ramp up my experiences with dating. If I compare myself to my pickup friends: the difference is that he is fun and emotionally alive and I'm not. Thanks.

Yea, they call is trauma symptoms. Teal Swan's completion theory is very good to integrate shadow sides.

I intentially decided to hit on girls who are below my league for the experience. She was an easy pull. Yes, I wanted to get her but I don't think that is incongruence. Perhaps I was not clear with my language. The good part of all of this is that I got a new reference experience, the bad part is that I can't even pull a girl below my league. All the more reasons to work on my self-esteem/insecurities: I didn't get what I want but now I'm more motivated to work on the issues that caused me not getting what I want. I'm not one of those guys with high self-worth but I'm working on it. True, I'm not sure how to be fun though. To be honest, I thought she is below my league so I don't have to worry about being fun. Let me just my boring self as an experiment and see if the mantra "just be yourself and it will work out" is true. It is not true. lol.

I gave almost everything she wanted and she still didn't want sex so fuck that. If I acted as a brad and just bought her the ice cream and put her on her spot things would have gone different. I'm just glad for the experience, girls are great teachers if you oberve to what they respond to, not what they say they respond to. I just wanted an one night stand. No way I would date her. lol. She took me by surprise. I was just weak and very insecure. I didn't want to come of as a cheap ass but at the same time I didn't like she acted so entitled. It was a shit test and I failed it. They are beautiful and if a lot of guys want them they know they hold power and they might want to exploit that by wanting material stuff. Basically as a guys we either have to provide the material stuff (like a provider beta male) or provide the emotions (as a fuck boy). I'm not interested in being the latter. I think my insecurities are a major obstacle in my dating. I'm not sure how to tackle this problem though. I have some books on my reading list like pillars of self-esteem and I'm reading Teal Swan's work on emotional healing.

That is what I wanted to do but I was afraid she would scratch my car. lol. I knew what I was getting into so I was not dissapointed. I did it for the experience. So the bottom line is that my insecurities is the root problem? To be honest, I didn't have anything in common with this girl. There wasn't a real connection because she was so different from me: she got nothing going in her life, she was uneducated, and all she could talk about is fun stuff. I didn't know how to connect to her so I'm not disappointed for not getting sex. I always thought that communication is about what is being said but what is not being said is just as important. Being able to walk away is so important. Letting her earn treats and gifts is just as important. But now that I think about it that is really the least of my problems. I'm just very insecure, not sure what to feel, to think and what to say with a girl. If the girl is hot enough I would pay the first date, but if me and her are on the same level in terms of value, I expect equal investment from her, otherwise why would I date her? That is why ugly guys pay for dates because that is the only way a hot girl would go on a date with him. This girl was below my standards so I didn't want to invest a lot. An ice cream is more than enough for the first date. She is on tinder and shit so me giving her something is already a big upgrade for her. Am I really asking something for nothing? Guys are worth something too, you know? Girls can be with guys just because they value each other, not because what they give each other.

@flowboy she also told me she likes black boys several times. After couple of times it got on my nerves and I told her to go talk to them if she is so interested in them. The mistake I made is after the first investment I made into her I didn't want to lose my investment. I wonder how Leo does it. He says he never paid anything for girls while going out. Currently I'm not having a lot of options so I don't want to try that but eventually I would like to have that attitude. @Vzdoh the problem is entitlement and wanting something for nothing.

So I pulled the Romanian girl home which I met earlier this week. It was going to be an ice cream date and then we hung out at my place. We smoked some weed and I got in the mood. Started sitting next to her touching her hair and body. She didn't allow me. I think I made the mistake of smoking weed again. From weed I can become very silent and weird. There was just no communication after we smoked weed. I got angry at her and just dropped her off. Creating the right atmosphere is so key for sex to happen. I didn't feel great because of what happened last week. I could have played the game better but I just didn't feel like putting a lot of effort.

Citrine stone is good for healing but the stone is so small that I don't think it will have a big effect. It is really about the placebo effect.

It can have a placebo effect. I wear a yellow stone around my neck. For me it is just a reminder or an anchor.

Do visualization exercises how you get hard and fuck her brains out. Do this daily and in detail. This way you will train your brain. The brain is the trigger and your dick is your gun. Also stop fapping if you do and eat more fish products.

Joe Dispenza's books are great about manifesting what you want. I did his meditations a while back and it really helped to change myself but then I got lazy and stopped with it. You might want to try it out. @Preety_India About getting your heart broken. It is part of the deal. Just don't invest more than the other. Recently my heart was broken and I grew from it. I wouldn't make the same mistakes.

You are making a division between theory/technique and understanding female nature. In my opinion both is needed. Female nature is the map/territory. Theory/technique is about navigating the map/territory. I'm also not saying something new in this thread. There are a lot of books on this subject.

It is a way of being. I can't point to it and say I did this. Since I did that evil thing and acted upon my anger and my instincts something changed in my physiology. It is about integrating the divine masculinity. I'm not kidding. I'm just back from the city and multiple girls were staring at me. Getting a wink from a lady. Two hot girls in a car trying to get my attention. Talked to a girl who got excited by my presence and got her phone number without hassle. As for males. They don't even dare to make eye contact with me. I'm not really looking for fights but I'm trying to integrate my new found internal fire. This all happened after break up with that girl. Something just broke within me. There is no step by step to reach this divine masculinity. It is just a wave that comes and you either dissociate or you harbor it. You can only know the answer to that question by going too far. I'm in this state just a couple of days. I'm not saying divine masculinity is the magic pill. I'm just saying nice guys might benefit by taking the divine masculinity pill.

Yes. Usually I don't know what I want. It is part of lack of experience. Also I always think about not hurting the other I guess but recently I changed my attitude about this. People don't mind hurting me so I do it back. Somebody who uses niceness as a survival strategy. Let's himself be used as a doormat. Doesn't complain, shows no assertiveness and confidence. Especially if I like somebody I become like this to not lose her by walking on egg shells and that frankly results in a boring and colorless personality. That is what I'm doing. I'm playing with these extremes. One really can't find what the boundaries are if one doesn't push towards the edges.

I know a lot of successful guys in their profession but they are not satisfied and it also doesn't translate to being good with girls. It is really about the mindset of dating. Can be poor and still attract girls by help of attitude.

@Preety_India doesn't change that integrating ruthlessness will skyrocket your results in general in the dating market

Since I did that evil thing (see the thread above) I'm KILLING it. I literally got a phone number of a super model looking blonde. Her name is Nadine. Integrating the evil side She lives like 2 hours away but she comes to my city every other month. I was just mesmerized by her but I kept it cool because I integrated my evil side. Girls can sense if you have the ability to kill a mother fucker. I never killed a mother fucker but recently I did something bad. I'm almost incited to do more evil. Why? Girls reward evil. That is why. And especially very hot feminine girls do. The same way Girls can smell neediness they can smell if you have the potential to be dangerous. You don't need to be dangerous or do illegal stuff. It is about the ability, the potential, to become dangerous. Females reward men with killer mindsets I walked passed a woman and man. I think the woman said something about me walking to close to her and she said something disrespectful. I turned around and I said you said what? She instantly went silent and looked down. His man besides him didn't even look me into my eyes. She knew I would fuck him up. I'm definitely not going to push the envelope and get into fights but I'm definitely open to it. I think it will grow me as a person. Me as a former nice guy who is capable can grow the most by setting healthy ego boundaries. I also almost got in a fight in the grocery shop because I accidentally trespassed a guy. He called me out. I didn't even say anything and look him dead in the eyes. He was trembling and couldn't watch me I the eyes and just walked off. Again. One doesn't need to inflict violence. Having the potential for violence to set boundaries is enough. People can sense that off of you. Also this is just a phase for me to develop myself. I'm seeing this as mental gymnastics to train my reptilian brain to be a boss instead of being a whimp. Read Peter Levine's book on trauma and fight and flight to learn about this topic.