StarStruck

And another thing, I told her "I'm sorry" like 3 times. I never said I'm sorry to a person this many times and I couldn't stop myself saying sorry. Like I told her there were dears and there weren't any dears in the park and I said sorry. I could see on her face that it was kind of cringe.

At the end, she looked kind of bored and the vibe was off. I have no clue how to fix this or what I'm doing wrong. A lot of girls tell me directly or indirectly (or not at all) that the vibe is off. I know I have problems with my vibe, but I don't know how to fix it. It is likely she would go on another date with me but I was kind of sad that the last part of the date was boring. She was bored. I was bored.

I seduced this Polish girl called Lea. I went on a date with her the next day. I made a topic about her: I'm trying to look at this both from a glass half full and glass half empty. Positives of this date: It ignited my inner fire for self improvement and realization of my life purpose it gave me reference experience with the most beautiful girl I dated I fucked up as you can read in the thread, but fuckups are as much value as successes Negatives of this date My selfesteem is hurt and most important I'm trying to hate myself or hate aspects of myself. Truth is that I hate my awkwardness, introvertness, boringness and silence This emotional labor I need to recover from this sucks Although it sucks donkey balls to put my balls on the copping block, I do see it in perspective: one day I'm going to die and how much is this going to influence me in the grand scheme of things? I won't remember this at my death bed but how nice would it be to enjoy my life, enjoy my youth, and be on my death bed with a huge smile? I have trouble in social settings where there are a lot of girls. One on one I have good eye contact. It is not so hard to understand.

I'm looking for a book connecting math and spirituality

I'm vegan+ so I eat a lot of veggies but also meat. Thanks for the recommendations. I checked it out but they seem very technical. @ValiantSalvatore

It is a problem if you make it a problem. She is not for you for your money.

@Ethan1 do you just cook it like normal mushrooms? do you still notice the effects of the mushroom without extraction like explained in that video?

@Ethan1 listen from 6:43 on

But you have to dry it and make it a powder to make it somewhat effective right?

If you spend so much time on washing food buy prewashed. Value your time.

I have trouble with holding eye contact. Yesterday I noticed I quickly switch to the nice guy smile and I felt disgusted. Should I be disgusted about this? I know why I'm disgusted. It causes me to fuck up with girls. Girls that I want to be with I know how to look at: just have a penetrative piercing look while being grounded. But I don't want to sleep with every girl I look at or every girl that looks at me. I notice a lot of girls who have a bf look at me too. And they just hold eye contact to test me I guess. My natural look is mostly the stoic look. Just having a stoic look is creepy though so I quickly switch to the nice guy smile. Yesterday night I was really confused how to carry myself. First contact is always eye contact when going out. Currently I'm not even busy with pickup but working on being grounded. There was this girl who started dancing couple of cm in front of me and kept looking at me. She was with her gfs. I didn't even approach because I don't know how to dance with a girl. I'm good with one on one pickup but not good with groups/sets which is a whole other issue that I have to work on. For now I would like some advice on the eye contact thing.

Do pomodoro technique. Get into alpha brain wave (flow state) when working.

Too many discovered this field as a side hustle. You really don't need any coding skills to do it. I'm fully focusing on my coding skills on this moment. Are there people who have coding as their side husste? On what kind jobs are you focusing on? Is the money good? Any tips? Almost finished with the course on Java, soon starting with Python.

Tonight I saw infinity in a girl's eyes...?

I'm doing much better with dating but I'm still nowhere I want to be: chatting up girls is a walk in the park, getting numbers is easy too, but I have to work on my text game and my personality because most of the time they don't want to meet up. Anyway, so I want to park my dating endeavors and focus on IT (which is my LP) and self improvement. It is very hard though. I'm actually doing good with self improvement (reading spirituality books, going to therapy, and journaling) but with my LP I have a harder time. The main cause of this behavior is that what I really want is a gf. This sounds kind of pathetic and I know I should focus on my LP (which will make me more magnetic and make it easier for a girl to get interested in me) so I can think long term and justify it to myself why I should focus on my LP but I can't get my ass moving.

Those are good points and I think there is a central issue and the thing you summed up are hitting the problem from different angles. So since couple of days I was in close communication with her (that is why I wasn't here) and I thought everything was going great. I made her laugh through text. She wanted to meet up but we couldn't because of planning. She started talking about sex (asked me if I was good in sex) and I thought everything was going great until I ignored her for half a day. She told me I was boring (probably hissy fit for not responding quick enough) and I kind of got reactive and defensive; long story short I blew it and she blocked me. I'm trying not to take it personal and just try to learn the lessons. She made couple of good points and the main point she had was that I'm boring. Yesterday I was out for a drink and people and especially girls don't like boring guys/closed off guys/non-authentic guys. Not sure how to work on this. I'm doing RSD at home by Owen and that is a program focused on exactly the problems I'm having. Unfortunately there is no quick solution to this problem as far as I know.

Krishna was talking about the quantum field.

That is so true and it also explains why some girls were interested and lose interests later on. Is it correct to say that the more self-worth one has, the less needy that person is? I think another factor that is important is the appearance of not being needy. Through text girls can interpret me as needy while I'm not.

Learning to go with the flow is important. If you already "know" you will have a shitty night you will have a shitty night. Rather start from a place of not knowing; with that consciousness a window for creative co-creation with a girl can manifest.

Integrating my anima has been a great but it is not a magic pill. Last girl I was dating was blowing up my phone and treating me like I was her therapist telling me all of her problems. I was accepted that because I was nice. Afterwards she told me she didn't feel the vibe although I met her emotional needs. I think I was also a little boring at sometimes but still.

Sorry I forgot about this thread. I live in the Netherlands too. And I did ask girls what the problem is. Most girls don't tell me but the ones who I get close with and trust me do give me valuable information: the vibe is off is a big one, they say they aren't sure about my intentions (only one girl said this) and I'm kind of "offline" sometimes if that makes sense.

I made huge progress. Thanks to pickup, I don't have approach anxiety. Now I'm a much better conversationalist, I know how to flirt, be light hearted, and know how to lead and I can basically get numbers all the time. The problem is that girls give their numbers, agree on a coffee date on the spot and some how they change their mind and just bail on me. It is NOT that they get pushed into giving their numbers. I always approach them in crowd places and the vibe is just spot on. I'm doing as good as those pickup artists on youtube. There was only one success that I had. I did date a very cute blonde girl that I liked very much: She was exactly what I wanted in terms of personality and looks. It was going great. She took contact with me for a third date (she proposed she would visit my home) and cancelled it because she was sick. She rescheduled it again but she had a job interview. Afterwards I got frustrated and ask her for next week and now her excuses are that she is busy, although she only works 35 hours and schools are closed. I confronted her and said "I get the feeling you don't want to meet any more" and she said "that is not true, I'm just busy". I can get so mad about this because she tells me there is nothing wrong but I can clearly see she is less invested in the relationship. So I got frustrated and approached some girls yesterday, I got two numbers and both of them bailed on me for a coffee date although the vibe was 10/10. I did everything by the book. The thing is that I do get small successes with pickup but the cost/benefit ratio is way off. I'm starting to think, is it my appearance? I look to other guys who walk around with hot girls and I can tell it is not my appearance. Is this amount of flaking and this amount of failure normal? I'm starting to doubt about my pickup journey.

I put it on a slow burner. I'm just too frustrated with my lack of results. My outer game is on par but my inner game is just so off. I'm too needy and depending. Too much stuff from the past. I need to work on my inner shit because it is sabotaging my progress. I'm busy with solving what Owen is talking about:

My pickup endeavors are still very bumpy. I can get girls interested in me but they quickly get disinterested once they get to know me. I'm not sure what the problem is. Probably I'm too boring, I'm not qualifying them enough and not letting them jump through my hoops. The most recent girl got frustrated because she didn't get enough attention from me and stopped acting feminine around me. It is frustrating. Pickup is forcing me to turn inwards. Just too many land mines from my past that just fuck shit up. This girl told me she wasn't sure about my intentions and I think it is over. Previously she was complaining about me not giving her enough attention and that my vibe was off compared to the beginning. We met like two times to train in the gym and the vibe was good. She liked it and bombarded me with text but somewhere in the middle of the week started being annoying. I think there wasn't enough man to woman dynamic through texting. I'm just a sucker with text game.

So I stopped giving approval to girls and they seem to seek it and when I don't give it, they want it even more. Should I keep this dynamic? For now it works but I'm afraid they will give up and just scoot off if I don't give it to them. For now I just give tiny bits of indirect approval and it seems to work but I was wondering what the right way is. To be honest, I'm still beta and I'm looking for validation and approval too and I'm just masking it. It is for my own good will. I noticed that it is a huge turn off for girls if I seek it so I'm just acting I'm not seeking it but girls are not dumb they can sense it. For now I'm just faking it until I make it and I don't need validation and approval. In the meantime I need to keep this dynamic going where they seek my validation and approval. If I know one thing it is this: don't feed pigs until they are full, always keep them begging for more!