StarStruck

Malaka. I tried it. It is not for everybody.

Cannabis is awful for me. I get in my head even more than I'm. If I do it in social situations it is even worse. I did cannabis with a date once and I royally screwed it up. A lot of people say they get talkative and fun when they smoke. I wish I was like that. I get the exact opposite when I smoke cannabis.

Psychedelics is not for traumatized people.

High dick rate with a girl is never good if you want to start a family with a girl. Studies have shown that it fucks up with the girl's psychology. It is a huge red flag for me in terms of a life partner. She better have some good qualities to compensate that. But if you are close to 30 as a guy it is hard to find a virgin girl. Only thing you can do is be sure you fucked more than her. Also girls never tell the truth about such topics. With girls you have to 2x or 3x the number to get the real number.

Who told you to take Phenibut for PUA?

Being ballsy during day game is no problem for me. Night game is a little different than day game though. Just being ballsy doesn't cut it, I approached this girl and she was interested. We are on the dance floor. She is on the dance floor. And we were just looking at each other. After a minute or so she discovered I was bullshitting and went away lol. I'm more or less new with night game so I'm not trying to be hard on myself. I will just keep trying. If she doesn't talk back I just keep asking questions interview mode. It is embarrassing. I stopped doing it and I just scoot off when she doesn't reciprocate but they say the guy needs to talk 80% of the time in the beginning so I need to work on that. I will try what you said about topic threading. It is just so forced. Old guys in the park are good at doing that; I have been on the receiving end of topic threading. They can just talk and talk because they found somebody who will listen.

I did some approaches today. I felt low energy but I pushed myself to do 3 approaches. I ended up doing 5. Some notes: Pickup works much better if you compartmentalize it: focus on only 1 or 2 subskills. Today I focused on subcommunication and free association. Subcommunication and free association is so key: I never focused on these two subskills on a whole session. I noticed how I lack in this compartment. My opening is very strong and I get emotional rapport: where I really fuck up is that I emotionally disengage after couple of minutes into the conversation and girls notice that. I'm known for emotional dissociation so I was already aware of this social quirk I have. I'm already working for months on this and it is going better but I still do it. I need to have patience with myself and just keep my mindfulness on this quirk. Girls love emotional engagement. It is the glue. If this glue is not present, there is nothing that bounds you two and it gets forced and perhaps even creepy; it is the emotion that makes it not forced. I notice that I'm making progress with my self esteem. Pretty girls and ugly girls have same value for me. My self-value is based on my potential/capacity as a man and not on results that I'm having or not having. That Lea girl broke my heart so hard but at the same time she also gave me self-esteem. I didn't know I could get such a hot girl: she was a 9/10... so now when a 8 or something rejects I'm thinking "whatever, I dated much hotter, it is your loss". Approaching right now is like shaking a girl's hand. It is second nature for me. I still have to work on my seduction though; it is too forced right now. I didn't get any numbers today.

I'm still not close where I want to be with confidence but there is no need to reinvent to wheel. Confidence is intelligence actualized; the ability to think straight, manifest, learn from mistakes and execute. Everything should be tuned to execution though. I find the model 6 sigma useful. Confidence is like going to the gym. You have to do but also know how to do it.

There were actually some girls that were interested but I just didn't know how to verbally and physically escalate during such a night. The girls were watching like "this guy is not knowing what he is doing". I was attacking myself but also giving myself slack. I'm new to night game. I don't have this with day game. With night game I have to learn the verbals and know how to physically escalate. Night game is day game on hyperbole. For introvert guys it is more difficult for the reason you explained. I actually got one phone number but that doesn't mean much with night game.

@Sanyikas where did you learn to dance with a girl and escalate on her on the dance floor? I really suck at this

In pickup they say be polite with your words but naughty with your vibe. Gaming is all about being implicit and what you communicate subtlety. Girls are ninjas with communication. They will pick that up. They even pick up on your core beliefs. For example if you believe you don't deserve her she will know. You either have to become a good actor or work on yourself.

Yea, I have been going out lately and alcohol really helps. Also dancing helps to get lose so the root chakra get's activated (so I feel safe and grounded). The problem is that I don't even know what us going on in my body. I just want to be chill, laid back and have good vibes and connections with people. I know it is not an on/off switch. It is a social muscle that has to be build but I don't have the patience nor time to play the long game. I'm already 32 and I don't want to be that creepy 40 old dude that goes out to hit on 20 year olds. lol. If I was 20 myself I would give my self much more slack.

That last part is not true at all. I went on dates with 9s because of my ability to execute and do. But after couple of hours they found out that I don't have high confidence and they block me. If you don't have confidence you will be treated as literal shit by women. It is that important.

Everybody tells me to be chill but I don't know how to do it. Because I have been uptight for so long.

I notice that girls can pick up on those subtle things like if I'm bothered by paying or if she talks about going out a lot or other guy's. I try not to judge her but it is very hard not to. I either have to stop judging or be a better actor and conceal it.

This really hit the nail. Tonight I went out doing night game and I was totally stuck in logical mode. As a nerd I can't just help it. From experience I know it is hard to go out of logical mode and just vibe. It is a matter of luck; sometimes I can vibe in logical mode and sometimes I can't. I couldn't find the catalyst for non logical vibing.. yet.

Night game Night game is new for me. Day before yesterday I went out and that was great and I went out this night and it was awful. There were only total bitches and me as a nice guy just didn't make any chance. In such "bad ass clubs" confidence and knowhow is all that counts. There was one girl who respected me and my approach and I felt like a wolf without teeth. I'm trying to have compassion for myself. I'm new with night game and it is totally different compared to day game. I got rejected like 10 times in a night and it really stung because there was a friend who was watching. If no one is watching I wouldn't even care.

Ok. So basically demonstration of value through stories and shit. When she threw out that shit test about fuckboys I just froze up. I fucked up so hard. Also when she brought the topic of me trying to kiss her, I didn't know how to handle it, I asked her why she didn't want to kiss me like a total fool. I already knew the answer: I couldn't establish the right vibe where she would put out.

I want to get my dick wet. If I'm not practical it is not going to happen. Try being a man for a day. No offense.

I don't get how that is related to her shit test. That is now how I'm passing her shit test.

There is something I wanted to ask about the date: She brought the topic up about fuckboys and I didn't know what to say. She said she hated fuckboys and I just went silent because if I told her no I'm not a fuckboy I would fall into the category of cuck and if I say yes I'm a fuckboy she would he turned off. It was a lose lose situation. How would you guys have done?

Agreed. But I don't believe in that fairy tail crap anyway. My frustration comes from not being accepted as I am. Because women tell me just be yourself; they are totally clueless. I'm not good at making friends though because I'm so needy/unhappy/clueless. I hope pickup will weed out my neediness which will make it easier to make friends. True. How to know I'm my true/real self though? Being a needy nice guy feels like my true self because those needs feel real.

You don't know me enough to make such statements. I wish I was crazy; girls love that. And I know that for a fact.

I'm already doing therapy. I don't know what you want me to do more.

Calling me a sociopath is like calling a wolf without sharp teeth a predator. I wish I was a wolf with sharp teeth.