StarStruck

So there is nothing one can do other than take a break?

If you find a good christian girl she might have the patience.

The only party that provided from this event is Russia. They got to spread their forces in a former soviet country and get influence. And at the same time sabotage Chinese and Turkish sphere of influence. Especially the energy pipeline between the turkic countries (aka silk road) are now in danger with Russian troops on the ground.

I tried swimming in the rijn river. It was too hard for me to do it again.

It shouldn't be an either or question. Personally I try to balance between work and play. From a productivity standpoint you need both. Same counts for the existential standpoint. The difficult part is to find the right balance between seriousness and non seriousness. I'm definite somebody who leans towards the seriousness. The way to solve that is to get in touch with the inner child.

It is really sad to hear this.

Be grounded in yourself. Listen to your feelings about not wanting to be captain save a hoe. Also see the pattern. You are obviously trying to fix something in yourself by trying to fix a girl. That is the core problem. Delve into that. Girl should be adding something to your life. A lot think they add enough just by being pretty.

So soon I will be forced to change my therapist. She will be making a career switch. I was with her for little over a year. She helped me with becoming more social, getting productive, getting centred as a person and trauma processing. When looking back at my therapy with her I came to the conclusion that she really didn't help me. I helped myself. I read the books, did the work, did the journaling and meditation. She was only there to give me mental and emotional support which I don't take for granted. It was definitely something I didn't have and something that I needed. She has her credentials: bachelor, master and PHD. And I was shocked how uneducated she was. She didn't knew anything about Freud or Jung. Why? Because her teachers never asked her to study the topics. Why did she even study psychology for almost a decade? All she does is ask me how I feel about things. I never caught her giving me ground breaking advice or any advice really. And when I explicitly asked her advice I could observe that she was getting irritated which is typical for woman since they like to talk about problems but not solve them. I'm so confused what to look for in a therapist. I need somebody who can help me weed about my social quirks like codependency, coach me with productivity, and self-confidence. People on this forum told me I needed to develop more of my anima so I went for a female therapist but perhaps I made a mistake?

A lot of insights in that video

He likes to talk. Obviously he has a business to run so I understand his sleaziness. In one of his old seminars he refuse to call meditation meditation because his Christian clients would get upset because meditation is linked to Buddhism.

Happy new year guys. I hope 2022 will be a fruitful year for all of us! As for my progress with pickup: I totally turned inwards to fight my inner demons. Everything that manifests in the outer starts from the inner. Looking back to my first posts... wow, I made such a huge progress. It was a lot of strain and I'm still not where I want to be but considering my situation it is not weird that I don't have the results I want. If anything, pickup has painfully pointed out that I have to look within. I'm gaining huge grounds in this respect thanks to depth psychology, energy from the archetypes, and self-reflection.

LOL, I recommend you read his bio. There is not such a big different between Arnold and Dan. Both conned their way to success.

No problem. I agree with @Lyubov . Therapists are there for my self reflection and to establish my own axis mundi. Last year I had wrong expectations about therapy. I believed it was a magic pill but it is not. In the book "a mind for numbers" they talk about focused attention and defuse attention. Those two concepts helped me to be somewhat less OCD but I still have it because it is so ingrained. I loved to intellectualize and miss the broader perspective. It is a learning problem for me across the board in my professional and personal life. I use this intellectualism as a harness. It prevents me from breaking into my emotional repression barrier and everything becomes dull and stale. This obviously is a big problem when dating but in therapy I'm doing the same. They call this emotional impotence or emotional flatland. It just need somebody who understands these topics. My current therapist just didn't have clue. She doesn't address it and just do her thing (procedures). I guess I just have to keep trying it with different therapists. She was my first therapist so I was kind of emotionally depended on her. I know the therapy office isn't a lecture about Freud and Jung. I just can't help myself. By the way, those are not the only books I read. I mostly read up-to-date books on depth psychology.

@Nahm I meant last paragraph. Not lady paragraph. I have never thought about the difference between the feeling and thought of being understood. Being understood feels great but that is not why I go to therapy. I also want the therapist to understand me on a mental level and help me out. My current therapist showed me a lot of compassion but she didn't understand me mentally and didn't help me out. Although her showing compassion did help me somewhat. I have to give her that.

Ok. But what you do you mean with the lady paragraph? I know people who see eye to eye with their parents and they feel totally understood.

@tsuki hm. I told her multiple times.

@Nahm I always try to make people try to understand me because I was never understood by my parents. Therapy is so confusing for me and after what you said it became even more confusing. Depth psychology and the archetypes in particular gave me a road map and access to source energy so I feel like it helped me. I feel like a different person but problems don't disappear over night. Perhaps it needs time. I still have some OCD, laziness and such. True. I meant this: she never addressed my intellectualization. One or two times she told me that she didn't know how to help me but that was a long time ago (like 8 months ago) but since then she told me we started looking eye to eye.

What about a gay person? I'm not gay but I called a therapy office and I had a good connection with the therapist who is probably gay (I could hear it from his voice). Sometimes I do this. I felt like I didn't make any progress so I started reading depth psychology myself. Unfortunately she doesn't have knowledge of this topic. I made major progress with the help of Jung's archetypes. I believe if I didn't do this self-study I wouldn't have the progress that I have right now. Jung's archetypes are a great template for self-development and energizing oneself. To be honest she did help me do that, but the real problem is my intellectualization of my problems. She didn't know how to deal with my intellectualization I guess which is her problem. She is getting paid, not me.

@flowboy Thanks, what I found out is that I need somebody from my own age. Older people don't understand my struggles. They grew up in a different age. I'm still thankful for my current therapist. I was sad I couldn't visit her anymore but perhaps it was for the better. I still have to read those books. My current book list is too long.

My insurance covers it. I think the core of why I'm going to therapy is to self actualize. There are obstacles I explained that is withholding me doing that. Especially bad childhood, OCD and dissociation are big topics in my therapy.

For god sake just stop with the psychedelics. In my opinion, psychedelics is only the cherry on top of the apple pie. What really counts is the apple pie which is spiritual work. Psychedelics is just a booster. If you are stuck, you will even get stuck even more. Last year I made the same mistake. It is like holding down the gas while the clutch is in neutral. It is very bad for your health, you will age like a mother ****er on psychedelics.

35 is the perfect age to settle down. After that it will get complicated and difficult. If you have status, social circle, money, you can pull it off a little longer though. The bottom line is this: your looks are fading, perhaps balding, so you need to compensate your age/looks with something else like I explained above.

greatness is relative anyway

You got angry when I used that word and now you use it yourself hahaah.

Girls like masculine energy. I won't go into detail what that entails but what girls want is very selfish. I had a hard time accepting that although my requirements of the opposite side is equally selfish. I discovered that we want the polar opposites of what we are + we are looking for the opposite sex to heal our trauma's in a conscious or subconscious way. This also counts for girls: they want masculine energy + somebody who can scratch their traumatic itch. There are actually ways of finding out if a girl has a traumatic past (most do) and you can cater to that.