StarStruck

Anatomy of the Spirit by Myss

you can't make a lot of children when you are in prison.

When excess emotions is involved, there is no reason. Low consciousness people don’t think ahead. They just want to get instant gratification which is in this case: release of anger. It is Darwinism at play. Extreme low conscious people remove themselves from the gene pool which is not counter intuitive. It is what it is.

So I’m getting better at direct pickup going straight for the prize. The problem is that I’m a fool when it comes to sexual talk. I do manage setting the right mood but I notice I say the wrong things or fail shit test and it just doesn’t get off the ground. Sometimes it does but women just shit test the shit when it gets sexual and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m kind of second guessing, or not knowing the right thing to say or shooting blanks.

It was my first MDMA trip. The dose was 150 mg. It was a very different experience than a LSD trip. It was more body based than mind based. I felt my heart chakra open up and it was very pleasing, healing and comforting experience. I felt like 1 year of therapy in 5 hours. Unfortunately I'm an overthinker and I still haven't managed to put my overthinker (ego) in check so that ruined my experience a little bit: I couldn't stop my thinking when the peak came so I put on some classical music and started dancing trying to make something of a bad situation. Also I was afraid of frying my dopamine receptors by thinking too much. I'm definitely going to a lot of meditating the coming week and try again. I hope next trip my thinking brain won't freak out and just accept the love.

LSD is not a party drug. MDMA or xtc might be more fun to try out.

@flowboy thanks It really comes down to connecting yin and yang: thoughts (in the head) and emotions (in the body). As an empath I'm not much connected to my own feelings but rather try to feel what others feel.

Sounds like you are obsessed with this topic of sex. It is good to look for solutions but stress is not good for your sex life. Just have the belief it will be ok because you are young. Your body allocates your energy for survival instead of reproduction (because of your depression) so what you need to do is chill and have good vibes.

I was so out of character.. She told me I was like a fish out of water couple of times during dancing and so on. But you are right. I should just have taken it slow, gave her more drinks. Now reflecting back on it: I was really in a hurry with her and that is not hot, lol. The thing is it is easy to say to myself to take it slow; in that moment I just didn't know how to take it slow. My game is so bad. I think I need some old school game because this natural game doesn't work for me.

@flowboy Authenticity alone is not good enough. If I tell I just want to fuck her (she is married and in an open relation so I don't have another option anyway), she would just walk away. I also wanted to be relatable and indeed give the answers she wanted to hear. I'm aware of this authenticity issue I have. I'm working on it; a lot of time I don't feel anything. Sometimes I do and now that I look back, she went out with me because of my feelings behind my words but for some reason I messed up: it was too much out of my comfort zone. She wanted to dance freaky and such. That is just not me at this moment.

Something material (a computer) can't produce something immaterial (a soul/an intelligence)

Sex is about survival but also about self esteem. She thought "can I fuck this rich guy? If I can that would mean I'm still sexworthy and not an old tard". Women get especially insecure when they hit their 30'ies. They know the ship is sinking and they are constantly checking their sexual worth. If you understand the situation and you have your shit together you can pillage around.

What did you do during the trip? Just meditate?

She brought it up

Don’t tuck your dick behind your legs and you will be sexy

Research kundalini and you will understand

What are your experiences with them? Are they good marriage material? Or good dating material? Obviously every stage has its pro's and cons. I'm just here to get some views. In my opinion girls with a healthy stage blue is the minimum for a life partner but I'm not looking for a life partner right now. Just wanting to date them. Overall they seem very well put together (the one's I met through uni church) but they seem to push their Christianity views onto me. I have a lot of stage yellow and I seem alien to them; they trying to put me into a category and failing in doing that. I decided to just say I'm spiritual and not go into details about my study of multiple religions because my stage yellow views confuses them and breaks too much rapport. To be honest, I was hoping to get laid too but currently just testing the waters and not doing any bold moves yet. And there is no competition in this venue. Only hot girls, with couple of studious nerds. It is shooting fish in a barrel. I can easily scoot if things get too hot in the kitchen but to be honest, I like the stage blue vibe. It is very healing if you are somebody who is missing stage blue.

I always thought raising our value system and raising out consciousness (metaphysics) was the same thing.

Values influence metaphysical frameworks. Spiraldynamics and AQAL is not just about value systems but also about consciousness(metaphysics) itself. But that is just my limited understanding. Personally I still don't understand why Ken Wilber made a seperate model from SpiralDynamics. It is almost the same. Edit: I think I confused Spiral dynamics and AQAL with Level Of Consciousness by Dawkins. You are right about the one being a value system and the other about metaphysics.

@Carl-Richard And what is the difference between your map and this map from Ken Wilber? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/51a0ef99e4b0673a4c034ab8/1373221911253-I9CKMOFPCM86G3TNULLF/Screen-Shot-2013-03-29-at-7.07.30-PM.png?format=1500w

https://www.amazon.com/Introduction-Logic-Irving-M-Copi/dp/0130337358 How can you deconstruct logic if you don't understand logic? And even if you deconstructed it you still need the skill for day to day life. This book should be on the book list. Perhaps on the top of them all since all else is based on our logic. It helped me with dealing with mind chatter, it helped me with math, it helped me with spirituality, it helped me in my relationships. Logic is an intra disciplinary skill within the arts and sciences. I find it fun but if you don't find it fun: it is worth the investment because you will receive the dividends.

Is blue absolutist per definition? I came in contact with a lot of blue lately and I thought they would be have some aspects of green (my misconception) but they are very monotone about the truth and how they see god.

The enjoyments of the flesh are only temporal. Nothing wrong if you understand this axiom.

I went out with a 40 year old. He had no experience with PUA so I didn’t expect much but he blowed me away with his natural game. Girls loved him and I was just like wtf. His night game was just dancing, doing crazy things (I would be ashamed to do them), looking for non verbal connection with girls during dancing, dancing crazy dances with them. I learned that physical appearance is not the end all be all. Major point is your vibe and expression of joy and “being yourself” without reservations. And what surprised me the most is that he rarely smiles. He is just being authentic. Just enjoying himself most of the time. When he does engage a dance he does only after non verbal communication. And most girls disengage after having their fun with him. But he always give space to the women to disengage only to come back later. By doing this he managed to build some relations with some girls while I was standing there with my dick in my hand (so to say) lol. At the end he got free drinks and got accepted by the group. I just couldn’t keep up with his vibe so I distanced myself of him and the group of girls so I could observe him with my dick in my hand (so to say). I’m way better looking than him but this letting go, having fun or whatever he is doing was just way above my head. He is in his cause, instead of being in the effect. I got frustrated and I went home and thought to myself why do I have to be a studious fuck instead of being a fun idiot? I still had a lot of fun and I learned a lot. And I think what he has can’t be learned over night. I’m just a little confused and frustrated.

Stay off the tip.