StarStruck

If you have a good personality, have taken care of you, go to the gym and no traumas, if it will easy to find a good man in your 30'ies. But a lot of women in their 30'ies don't do that and they still think they look as good as if they were 22. In dating, you get what you offer. This counts for men too.

By neutralizing your judgementalism against your victimizer: forgiving. By realising the trauma in your body through meditation, breath work, mantra: body work. Just forgiving is not enough imho.

@Devin it is an odds game too

No. That is the dating market. That everybody is sophisticated as you. Unfortunately.

You also have to be realistic on what you can attract as a 32 year old woman. It won’t be the same quality man you could attract when you were 22. This is painful and many people won’t tell you this but it is the truth: a lot of women have trouble accepting this and get bitter. They want the cake and eat it too. You could still compensate your age with personality and other things but that doesn’t change what I said. That is what hot girls don’t get. She will get the best deal in her younger fertile life. Guys also have to deal with realism but it is a different kind of realism.

Don’t focus on what you don’t want. Focus on what you want: self esteem.

Pop some MDMA to ease the LSD trip. I’m going to try it soon.

@Thought Art you are right. Chakras are where meridians cross each other but I’m still confused about which wider map you are talking about. How is this wider map called?

@Thought Art there are 12 dimensions in the chakra system and nothing outside of that.

Not knowing gets you to first order truth, not second order right? I understand the first order. I’m confused about second order: is second order just language or can second order also be truth without language(or symbolism)? Also Leo says we should merge epistemology and metaphysics in his "what is truth video". What does he mean with that?

So first order is basically when subject and object collapses aka the quantum field?

@Leo isn’t first order (absolute) truth sameness and second order (relative) truth separateness?

Anatomy of the Spirit by Myss

you can't make a lot of children when you are in prison.

When excess emotions is involved, there is no reason. Low consciousness people don’t think ahead. They just want to get instant gratification which is in this case: release of anger. It is Darwinism at play. Extreme low conscious people remove themselves from the gene pool which is not counter intuitive. It is what it is.

So I’m getting better at direct pickup going straight for the prize. The problem is that I’m a fool when it comes to sexual talk. I do manage setting the right mood but I notice I say the wrong things or fail shit test and it just doesn’t get off the ground. Sometimes it does but women just shit test the shit when it gets sexual and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m kind of second guessing, or not knowing the right thing to say or shooting blanks.

It was my first MDMA trip. The dose was 150 mg. It was a very different experience than a LSD trip. It was more body based than mind based. I felt my heart chakra open up and it was very pleasing, healing and comforting experience. I felt like 1 year of therapy in 5 hours. Unfortunately I'm an overthinker and I still haven't managed to put my overthinker (ego) in check so that ruined my experience a little bit: I couldn't stop my thinking when the peak came so I put on some classical music and started dancing trying to make something of a bad situation. Also I was afraid of frying my dopamine receptors by thinking too much. I'm definitely going to a lot of meditating the coming week and try again. I hope next trip my thinking brain won't freak out and just accept the love.

LSD is not a party drug. MDMA or xtc might be more fun to try out.

@flowboy thanks It really comes down to connecting yin and yang: thoughts (in the head) and emotions (in the body). As an empath I'm not much connected to my own feelings but rather try to feel what others feel.

Sounds like you are obsessed with this topic of sex. It is good to look for solutions but stress is not good for your sex life. Just have the belief it will be ok because you are young. Your body allocates your energy for survival instead of reproduction (because of your depression) so what you need to do is chill and have good vibes.

I was so out of character.. She told me I was like a fish out of water couple of times during dancing and so on. But you are right. I should just have taken it slow, gave her more drinks. Now reflecting back on it: I was really in a hurry with her and that is not hot, lol. The thing is it is easy to say to myself to take it slow; in that moment I just didn't know how to take it slow. My game is so bad. I think I need some old school game because this natural game doesn't work for me.

@flowboy Authenticity alone is not good enough. If I tell I just want to fuck her (she is married and in an open relation so I don't have another option anyway), she would just walk away. I also wanted to be relatable and indeed give the answers she wanted to hear. I'm aware of this authenticity issue I have. I'm working on it; a lot of time I don't feel anything. Sometimes I do and now that I look back, she went out with me because of my feelings behind my words but for some reason I messed up: it was too much out of my comfort zone. She wanted to dance freaky and such. That is just not me at this moment.

Something material (a computer) can't produce something immaterial (a soul/an intelligence)

Sex is about survival but also about self esteem. She thought "can I fuck this rich guy? If I can that would mean I'm still sexworthy and not an old tard". Women get especially insecure when they hit their 30'ies. They know the ship is sinking and they are constantly checking their sexual worth. If you understand the situation and you have your shit together you can pillage around.

What did you do during the trip? Just meditate?