StarStruck

So what happened now?

Vibe (masculine boss energy or bully energy) is from the essence but appearance is important too. What I tried to say is that appearance doesn't save the day and that the determining factor is vibe. I think we agree on this point, we just formulate it in a different way. I'm back on the no-fap grind, that really brings out that beast mode naturally with sexual transmutation. I have a really hard time doing that. I usually focus on all the negatives and the positives are just footnotes of the story. I noticed that I look at this way not only at the world but at my self also. This is something I need to work on but it is so hard to change. My mother was especially negative all the time: I think I have it from her. I'm 1,5 years in, since last week I have a new therapist to mix things up and try new things. I felt like the last one was only scratching the service of my problems. Partly I'm the blame for it because I have a hard time accessing trauma energy.

If you have to re-ask what they were saying. I think I have those. I just have to do what Leo says: train my ears and learn to read lips better True. I shouldn't have used derogative words but I just couldn't find other words. Point is that my energy sucks, and my appearance is apparently not enough to overcompensate for low energy. I'm doing trauma work at the moment so that influences my energy. Perhaps I should take a brake and focus on myself. Yesterday I had a date with an absolute stunner and I just messed it up because of my energy.

Porn is low consciousness and it corrupts the brain and mind. One really has to be high consciousness to not get corrupted by it but even with high consciousness people we can see the corruption in the mind that manifests into their life. Sex suppose to be the ultimate reward for your body; your right to reproduce. If you trick your brain you win the jackpot by making it think you fuck the hottest girls around, your motivation will suffer. There are also lot of other downsides other than motivation. I mean, it is will proven what semen retention and sexual transmutation can do so I don't really get why there is such a porn debate on this forum.

I already have those but I have to remove them if I talk to somebody… it can become awkward sometime lol. My verbals still suck man. Last night I saw lesser looking short guys ripping it with entertaining verbal game. What are these guys talking about? I do get the initial attention but when I open my mouth I fuck it up lmao. A lot of times I just blank and don’t know what to say. that is what I basically do half of the time: read lips.

Girls usually flake few hours before the date... I keep radio silence until the day of the date, usually because I'm nervous and don't want to make any blunders. Today another girl flaked just few hours before the date.. do you think I should change my approach? Am I not fluff texting enough or something? It is so annoying

It is easy to talk. I have heavy PTST and I've tried everything: most therapists are idiots and don't know how to treat people like me (people who have hard time accessing emotions). I find you very judgemental and non-undestanding. Desperate times require what? If I was a therapist I would be understanding. If it is a microdose nothing bad can happen. I'm not going to take a huge dose. MDMA is a better option indeed. Especially on a small dose. Damn, micro dose of magic truffels is another option for me. Thanks. Perhaps even better than MDMA or LSD. Which type of magic truffels do you recommend to come in touch with emotions? Most therapists don't know how to help me. They just don't understand why I can't access my emotions. I did some self-study on the topic and it is just lack of focus and automatic pilot that keeps me dissociating. Currently I'm doing a lot of meditation and concentration exercises and that helps me to stay present, connected to my body and emotions. Problem is that there are a lot of trauma energy coming up and fucking me up bad. I don't know how to process it so I end up masturbating to self-medicate. Soon I will have a different therapist and I won't take psychedelics without getting to know her and such.

2Cb might be another option. Probably won't do more than 100 mg now I think about it. Not much can happen at that dose. it is legal to use in my country. I have a hard time reaching my emotions, I need that pop to feel something.

I have a new therapist so I'm reluctant to do it but with my old one I would definitely do it. Psychedelics is medicine. I'm not obliged to tell her what medicine I take just like I'm not obliged to tell her what I eat. Desperate times requires what?

@Vercingetorix Have you already been on dates from your first number closes?

Interested to hear your answers.

@aurum I had to think about this and I guess I have a hole in my heart and I want her to be my surrogate. If I want her to be that I should offer her a good deal, and currently I still have some traumas and I'm somewhat clingly; that makes my vibe off. Lately I discovered how important vibe is. I'm really investing time into letting go of negativity, karma and ego so I can be more in the now, more fun and connect better with the other. From my observations, a girl will put up with a lot, if the guy's vibe is good. All this time I betted on the wrong horse. There is really some truth in the saying girls just want to have fun. Offering good vibes is probably the single most important thing one can offer in casual dating.

Sometimes I really get happy if a conversation goes well. Especially now since I was out of the game for couple of months. You can really see it on my face. I recognized a pattern though: The couple of few approaches went really well but when I show that I’m “winning” by smiling (or lighting up) , I see women hooking off, cutting the conversation short or telling me they “have a bf”. Why is this? Should I hide this happy feeling when a conversation goes well? In pickup they say “make her feel like she is winning, don’t make her feel you are winning”. I think this right but I don’t understand why they are like this. I feel like I can’t be myself and I have to turn in an asshole to get some fucking slack. I’m doing well right now but it still frustrates me.

@aurum haha that is so funny and true about the salesperson but I feel like sales dynamic is different. Who determines who is the buyer and the seller? Why should I always assume I should be the seller of myself? Why can't I be the buyer? In fact in PUA they advice to take the buyer frame (qualification) and that she should be selling.

Is kechari mudra necessary? That exercise I don’t like and that is withholding me from doing it. What are the necessary daily practices of Kriya yoga?

Ibn Arabi, fucking lol

True, a lot of borrow stuff from him

The book power versus strength is the solution if you are an empath. How I see it is like this: If you are an empath you are like a communist, you don't produce anything (good vibes) and want to collectivize (take advantage of other peoples vibes An egoist is like a capitalist, it produces (good vibes), so it adds value to the venue. It is crazy how good vibes (from power, not force) can be such a major factor. I've had girls literally come up to me, or strike up a chat, 5 times this week.. and normally that doesn't happen that often. Just being static and resting in power (not force) will already influence the environment. I've also done some approaches and I got receipted very well. I still have to work on leading though; power is letting go so I also let go of leading and that is something I have to work on. I'm not sure how to lead from power instead of force. Leading always feels forceful to me. For example, when I dance with her or lead her in a conversation, there are times that the leading happens by itself (power) but a lot of times it stalls, so I have to resort to forcing the leading and that kind of messes things up.

Some people give a lot of info.. damn?

@Leo Gura do you believe in past lives?

If you love her enough you quit with porn, if you don't you quit her.

That is what the problem is. I can't lead myself.

Fix your vibe. Read David Hawkin's shit. Start doing release and shadow work. What is above is below. In clubs people react to your vibe. What you say and all other things you think are important is false. Get to work.

Sometimes.. I'm getting better at it.

Nahm would have said that there are males and females, there are no trans people. All is love. God bless his heart. He was misunderstood.