DivineSoda

@Leo Gura I've done a 10 day Vipassana, 10 and 5 day fasts and a bunch of other retreats/journeys in between. I hear what you're all saying, it's too much. 14 days is the goal, it could go shorter. Either way I'm looking to make the most of it. I cannot afford to go in nature solo unfortunately. I'm in Colorado (new state) and the house I'm in is fairly new still so it's not super comfort zone to me yet. I appreciate the feedback so far!

I think people are picking up on a genuine change in Leo since his last retreat video. I won't say here whether this is a "good" or "bad" thing.. only that I still appreciate what he's created over the years and that I hope/trust his heavy psychedelic use only serves the highest good.

Big Fish Run Lola Run Good Will Hunting A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood Waking Life Matrix ---- I'll edit if I think of some more

@Wyatt I appreciate your response very much, thank you! I will begin a 10 day solo retreat + fast in about a week and will be giving thought and consideration to the things you mentioned. ?

We've been doing shit like this all over the globe for decades. It's completely wrong, but it's certainly nothing new. Don't be fooled into thinking this is a Trump thing like many will suggest.

@Meetjoeblack Can I ask what do you do now post-IT world? I definitely would love to do IT at this point, just to build up savings again as I plan for the future. But it seems that the gaps are too much for employers to see past. I know I would do a kick ass job if I managed to find someone who believed in me and took their chances hiring me, but that's hard to find. I'm going to visit with an IT certification agency in my area and see if they can make suggestions on which one would help actually get me the job. My goal? To build wealth doing things I love/creating. The helping others and the world will happen automatically I believe if I'm in my highest joy. Handyman business is one idea. Real estate investment/rentals is one. Building a cafe and creating a conscious place for healthy eating/drinking/community is another. Helping others w/ personal development/mental illness through DivineSoda is another.

Since you seem inclined to do it, regardless of what is said here, I would say go for it. Even if you lose, the lesson to be learned will be more valuable than if you won the money.

These days, Berkey filtered tap water (Colorado)

Also if you don't mind, speak your specific fears out loud here. Maybe we can help dispel them.

Everything you described is a part of the process. You're supposed to feel exactly that way if you were programmed like most of society. You might find the book "War of art" helpful.

At minimum, take a methyl b12. Also track you're macronutrients and make sure you're getting enough fat and protein. Make sure your protein is diverse and covers the complete amino acid profile properly (not necessarily in every meal, just in general).

Is that the only aspect you don't like about the trades? What did you do and what did you like about it?

Meditation is many things.. to me the essence is in being able to embody your awareness into the present moment, as opposed to our default which is ego/thought embodiment in past/future. The more you refine your ability to do this, the more you read/understand the teachings, the more you will experience the fruits in the everyday moments.

Whatever advice you receive here or elsewhere, maintain your willingness to experiment without attachment to results. You will get better at it over time.

It sounds like you were resisting the experience and I don't blame you.. I've never entered "no man's land" myself. Though I think there is always opportunity for insight and understanding from any experience. Had you been able to let go fully, you may have received a much different experience.

Being a doctor is a disorder to you? All of them?

I agree with you there.. it's your process. But degrees of devilry are in all of us no? So can we not give credit to the good in others. Otherwise how could we love ourselves fully? Stamets would have to be pretty awful in your mind not to at least recognize the good parts.

Fair enough. After all, only you know how you're reacting internally to all of this. I can only assume, and I have not much basis for that.

Okay now your irrational paranoia makes sense. For your sake, I hope you're at least smoking organic.

For me "wrong" and "right" simplifies the essence of his teachings far too much. With anything in life, you take what resonates and you leave the rest. Leo can be (and is) "wrong" in many different areas but I'm still able to extract tremendous insight and understanding from listening to his words and creating my own meaning of them. Having said that, it's not a good sign that he feels the need to defend himself in this thread. It's not necessary. But I honestly don't care. He's still kicking ass out there.

I would maybe at least start with reading books in addition to pursuing training. Leo has some good ones in his book list.

Hey, if you ever want practice editing some raw content on this topic, I have the content (or am willing to make more on similar like-minded topics). If I could afford to pay you I probably would, but the point is if you wanted to create a niche in this area, there's probably enough content creators out there doing this that you could approach. Like seek out their videos and offer to make one of your amazing montage's. All your past work can be in your own channel so you can just point them there to see. You could also leave a watermark throughout each video or your signature at the end so if people liked a video they saw organically, they know who did it and where to find you.

Okay, you are going to have to become aware of your own limiting beliefs as you go through this process. What you just said had little to no merit, yet you're allowing it to have significance. You knew some people who tried it and weren't successful. Ok. Get to know the ones who are. Or at least, focus more on that potential rather than the failures out there. That's a choice.

Summer camp counselor came to mind just to gain experience as you do your schooling. Just a thought.

The pain you feel is all because you are still a slave to your ego. Whatever path you take, prioritize mastering your psychology along the way doing all the things Leo and others like him suggest. Get a daily routine going with good habits and share it here. I would also suggest seeking a mentor that you like to help guide you along the way. In terms of your job seeking, stay positive and stay the course. Don't take rejection personally. Find a meetup group in your area that can help support you. Your job is more likely to come from networking than simply throwing your resume out there.. but do both. Good luck to you ♥️?