RickyBalboa

@undeather I'm curious now. I'm potentially one of these idiots. Assuming I was, what would some of the common blindspots and biases be that would reveal that I'm not where I think I am?

@Elham Behold the rare and elusive Turquoise!

@ivankiss I get occasional downloads. My downloads are usually more centered around what I'm doing in my life the most at a given time. For now that's painting so I get visions of certain color pallets interacting amongst itself with specific flowing motions. This happens most often before I fall asleep. My issue with the music downloads is that they literally fade from memory as quickly as I can get up and even figure out what it was that was going on rhythmically and melodically. Maybe I need to improve on music theory so that I have a template for what is actually happening and I can more easily get those ideas down before they fade so quickly. Times I have tried in the past fail miserably. I have gotten into meditative states where I am able to compose music in real time in my head that is so alien and avante garde that I fail to understand how its happening. The more I try to break down whats happening the more the music starts to disappear. I have to kinda not care and not judge the composition for it to continue happening. Weird how that works. I'm also very slow in tableture programs like guitar pro so that doesn't help. Yeah, I'd love links to that. I Have had my 8 string a couple years and really all I do with it is try and play meshuggah songs and cover my favorite snippets in Audacity. I'm still learning how to record, shape tones on my amp and edit within DAW. I struggle with Eq'ing with balance. I also just started to understand the anatomic mechanics of how to scream/growl maybe a year and a half ago so I try to mix my vocals with my guitar playing and its a damn mess XD. That as far as I have gotten with playing and producing

Have you every had a dreams.... that um.. that you had.... Where you were able to manifest an original Idea into something tangible? For example an invention or piece of art? If so what was it and does it have significance in your daily life? Do you have techniques for recalling these ideas and trying to implement them? Tell us your stories.

@SoonHei Agreed! Just looking to hear users examples of doing this. Do you have any you'd like to share?

I've been experimenting with Metocin(4-HO-MET) in increasing doses over the past couple months. First 1 mg for threshold effects/allergy test. 3 mg for experimenting with microdosing potential. I find metocin to be one of the best psychs I have come across in terms of microdosing. It's noticeable at very small amounts and gives me a very obvious increase in mind-body connection/ proprioception and energy. It's absolutely fantastic for yoga. From my experience I recommend no other psychedlic for microdoing above metocin. Simply fan fucking tastic. Dosing is a bitch with powder and scale so you must dose volumetricly. 10 Mg syringe with alcohol and your desired ratio for microdose. Anyway, after a few microdoses I tried 10mg outside at a music festival and got slight but shortlived visuals and all the things that come along with microdoses as well. Very manageable. The most recent experience involved 15 with a bump of psilocybin to get my off the ground in terms of headspace which I am told Metocin can lack. Alot of reports of a "hollow" experience. Involving no heart or spiritual influence. I found with a small amount of psilocybin that there was enough there to explore some interesting areas. My experience lasted about 4 hours and I was able to notice things that would normally be "sub-perceptual" influences to my flow of thought. For example.. I noticed how often I am grabbing at my gentials. Scratching, cupping, tugging at, and just generally encapsulating the intirety of my junk with a semi-clenched fist. I noticed a mental tug as if there was some even more unconsious reasoning why I might be doing this. I haven't gone to deeply on this topic on my own or even with others, but I've seen enough people bring this up to know I'm not alone. Heck you might be grabbing your giblets as I speak while you read this. If my talking about the subject hasn't already sort of influenced you to do it sub-consciously. Mind you this is not a sexual thing I feel in terms of arrousal. My penis stays fairly flacid while doing all this. I feel an underlying sense of security though when doing this so that might be a thing for me to explore next time I encounter this topic in my next experience I noticed also my minds underlying aversion to putting my finger near or around my mouth after said touching. Usually being cautious and using my knuckles or the back of my hand to satisfy any itch or task that involved the placement of my hand on my face. Clearly there is some processes with regard to hygiene that my mind trys to uphold as to not risk getting sick or whatever. This is most likely also a relation to touching of my ass and or armpits as well. Within these urges and aversions I noticed that all these processes exist simultaneously and that my body is a sort of unconscious Survival mode at all waking moments. That alot of my actions and choices are simply a consciousness trapped in a spectrum of extremes simply trying to find solace and consistency. A perpetual balancing act that keeps my consciousness intact. The themes in Leo's video series on Survival really started becoming a real force I can feel acting on me. The videos made perfect sense when I watched them but implications of them became so intrinsically real. I see now that I have to dedicate lots of time to understanding myself and elucidating all the facets of my daily habits and choices with regard to this topic and its relationship with motivated fear and love. The last thing I became curious about was my reactions to people when I'm not alone. How my mind allows itself to function and orient itself when In the presence of others. The themes of survival and authoirty began to feel very relevant here. I usually try to be alone when tripping as it feels most conducive to achieving understanding but I still had an urge to mimick the experience of being around alot of people and observing how my and other peoples thoughts are influenced by each other. I'm a fan of stand-up comedy becase I find the social dynamic between crowd and performer very interesting. There are so many things going on in these interactions so I decided to explore that by turning on Kill Tony, which is live podcast taped in the Comedy Store, a comedy club in Hollywood, CA. It involves bringing up novice comics up on stage to preform for 1 minute (which usually is a mess) and the judges/comics sort of pick apart their set and proceed to make jokes about the novice. It can be brutal. It can be a very emotional experience as your mind is being jerked around not knowing whether to feel empathetic for the novice or whether to laugh at the judges remarks which can be truly funny at times. There's a battle of authority going on. Your mind begins to reacto to and ask all these questions as volleys are being thrown back and fourth. "Oh, that was harsh, did he go too far?" "Did the crowd really not get that joke?" "is this material too taboo to speak about?" "Should I not be laughing at this?" "HA! That joke is only possible to understand with knowledge of X and Y. That was really clever" "Wow, that's embarrassing. I would have walked off the stage after that remark. How is he able to take that critisicm" There's so many ideas worth focusing on and trying to pick apart when watching these reactions in its explosive high energy environment. Paying attention to your reactions and how a simple slew of words can send you howling and bent over wheezing. Its just like BAM! It hits you and the combination of your expectations of whats going to be said and your past knowledge sends you into an uncontrollable fit. I felt myself being tugged around like a ragdoll and loved being able to notice my reactions more carefully and trying to pick them apart. I know many might have seen this activity of watching standup as indulgent and a waste of time but I find low doses such as this to be valuable in practicing your daily habits and being able to consciously break them apart step by step with feedback while doing said thing. I leave full on contemplation to higher doses where tasks start to become impossible. At that point it seems trying to uphold a task is really not of value anymore. Thats it. Hope you enjoyed the read and that I have given you something to ponder that you hadn't already thought of yourself. Any feedback or questions is encouraged and appreciated!

@Strangeloop Let me clarify. So for example you see a large platform in your dream. Within that platform there are several sub-sections of the platform that rise and fall. Once you awaken from your nights slumber you go and you take the piece of technology or artwork you see and you make it exist in your waking actuality via creation. You build something you have experienced in dream that you didnt originally create but just showed up in the dream. I'm not referring to like premonitions of events that happen. For ex. in your dream your cousin dies by gunshot wound and then 2 months later it happens. @ivankiss Do you ever do it via your music? Which is really awesome by the way. I have over the past few years have increasingly become a bigger fan of more instrumentally focused artists (Pelican, Animals as leaders, CHON, Hiromi Uehara, Tigran Hamasyan, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Nova Collective, Secret Chiefs 3). Is this your website ??? https://www.studioivankiss.com/new-page-2 Would make sense as it's inline with bringing physical forms into reality. \m/ Meshuggah is right my friend. @JustThinkingAloud Sounds right to me!

YES!!!! Nice work and thank you.

I started painting this month. Here is some experimenting i've done with different styles. Enjoy. I

Has anyone noticed a general pattern in what people are attracted to in personalities when it comes to unconsciousness or people who are less reflective? I notice a general draw toward people who are what some may call charismatic, uninhibited, or unphased by others. Why is this so appealing? Does it exude an authenticity that is inherently more pleasing than someone who is constantly reconsidering, uncertain, and questioning each passing moments validity? I've found that using better mental models for breaking down reality don't exactly assist one in attracting the opposite sex. Rather it seems to be more of a deterrent. Problem is I can't exactly turn it off so well. I feel like thinking the way I do has become an antidote for dealing with the stress of life. While it has helped tremendously it leaves certain aspects of social living non-synergistic. Do I have to submit to a more compartmentalized way of living to deal with this? I like to believe I'm benefiting myself and others by trying to be the best version of a responsible being who evaluates in a non-biased way, but it just seems like a back-step to open myself up to the habits of others around me that I have done so well not to engage in. I've come so far just to concede my position for the sake of petty types of connection. Really conflicted here on this issue especially in the sub category of dating, relationships and sex.

I love when these come up. Remember the one Leo closed for discussion after a guy said Leo came on to him and said something along the lines of "Once your enlightened there is no straight or gay". Gave me a real hoot. Keep em comin.

I notice a place I hit at around an eighth of mushrooms where language (for a lack of a better term) stops working. It no longer supports my mental process. I start to notice my statements can be interpreted in many different ways. Making typing my thoughts or simply reasoning amongst myself an impossible task. It becomes glaringly obvious that our language in its current state is completely unfit for communicating at higher levels of consciousness with others. With it comes this unmistakable feeling that the scaffolding I have been standing on for much of my life isnt as solid as I would have liked to believe. Its riddled with holes and changes form as Im trying to navigate across it. I begin to notice that visual representations do a better job of symbolizing truths more than these stupid sounds we make. Its at this point that the geometric visualizations and thought processes I'm experiencing start becoming one in the same. The truth of reality becomes embedded in its own form so to speak. This becomes overwhelming and I often start to get confused. Thoughts like "im losing my mind" begin to surface. This makes me feel we are damned to only understand each other to a certain extent. At least in regard to me selfishly only thinking about whats possible within my lifetime. The limitation set in place by verbal language seem to be the biggest hurdle in how much change is to happen in our neck of the woods? Is it not the case?

@modmyth (Offtopic: I just browsed the "share your art" thread and enjoyed your eh "thing" hehe. I've been debating getting a drawing tablet recently to start playing with the digital side of art. I too have mostly dabbled in more traditional mediums. I get really interested in this topic. The managing of our different selves and all the meta-processes of how we employ them. Its so variable from one person to the next. It seems like a conversation topic that's rarely discussed. It's just one of those topics that if questioned too much has the potential to threaten commonly adhered to social and power structures. Its kinda obvious why its not talked about once you think about it. I'm very conflicted on the subject of compartmentalizing myself or trying to form a fairly solid single identity that can appropriately interact with most of other lifeforms.

@modmyth I wouldn't necessarily dispute any of your points. My theorizing in the last messages were pretty broad generalizations. I tend to have moments of being hyper too and take on a more fun-loving and childish wonder persona when around friends whom I know already have a fair understanding of how I operate. As I grow older I am spending less time with friends and more time around unfarmiliars. Maybe there is too sharp of a divide between these personas and I need to be able to modulate between the two. Perhaps there is a bit of at easeness and sillyness that the average passerby might appreciate. Thus breaking the ice and allowing for more flow and trust between people I dont have established relationships with. Maybe some of the solutions like in having more granular control of my shapeshifting instead of flip flopping so harshly between two solid forms.

@universe Yeah, I definitely stay aware of managing my energy and emotions on a daily basis and feel quite competent in being aware of all the meta factors that go into determining why I am feeling what I am feeling and where my body is holding that tension. The problem comes when I have to do those things while in conversation or doing a task with other people. I feel myself being squeezed and pinched for time. It's not like sitting in my room and being able to take 5 minutes to put full attention on each and every aspect of my being. When the bank teller is asking "checking or savings" and there is a line of people behind me it becomes a whole different game ya naw mean? I realize that problem alone is something to be explored in my alone time. However, my body still reacts in real time when in time sensitive situations so you might understand why I have taken being rational to a semi-autistic degree to try and escape my responsibility for managing emotional balance and mastery of my sympathetic nervous system when challenges present themselves @Applegarden Meshuggah would make my top 5 list of creative material that make my life worth living. Seriously, I really really love them that much. I resonate very much with many of the things you have said. I often struggle almost exclusively under social pressure in a way that makes me a little "strange" once I'm given the hint that a girl is into me. Which is funny, because up until there is enough evidence to support that I'm relatively normal. The possibility I might screw things up once I have a chance becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. However, I have been lucky enough that a small percentage of girls will find my awkwardness cute. @modmyth Yes! This is what Im talking about. Or at least a facet what is going on in the background here. This constant flow or momentum. This is what I want to deconstruct. I intuitively feel some component of attraction lies somewhere in here. There is a reason I initially was relating it to low consciousness. I believe that is because of the correlation between low consciousness and short attention span. Comparatively I feel that to understand deeper levels of consciousness you have to have patience and laser focus to access the long game or big picture. If I had to guess, the flow or foward and constant momentum is visually appealing and immediately satisfying to the monkey mind. Its like watching an animal go after a laser pointer. Its happening now, fast, and requires immediate attention. Both mesmerizing and distracting. I guess it lends itself to a limited view and preoccupation with the self and a more primal engagement with survival. I'm probably still missing part of it, but your comments definitely helped coax out the unacknowledged bits of what Im trying to understand here.

@Petals This is ringing vaguely familiar. Doors of perception no? I read it a few years back and my understanding of the material was wavering in and out. His writing style was difficult for me at time and I was getting glimpses of what he was saying but perhaps I should re-read it. What I walked away with the most from that book was how the idea that the brain acts as a sort of reducing valve for consciousness. @Nahm Whoa! Thanks for the nudge toward the tower of Babel. Found a really interesting read on that one. Super significant here. I enjoyed that. In my short time on this forum I'm gonna have to guess you are quite a fan of Koans. Many of your posts confuse the shit outta me XD. Will definitely acknowledge their usefulness in this work and read more about them.

No one can do that for you really. You have to be the authority figure on how you apply it as none of us know your life like you do. You have the job of being a responsible and careful figure who figures out where you and other individuals in your life stand and carefully determining how to proceed with developing your relationship with them and yourself. Hopefully one that allows for both their growth and your own. Take small steps and keep pushing yourself to make little differences. For what you learn from books, videos, meditation, contemplation along the way. You will only use such a small percentage in practical matters. Surely you don't intend on bombarding everyone you know with everything you have learned. So be patient and start experimenting with change.

@Knock Yeah, I was definitely struggling to find the right words here. I'd posit that its not necessarily attractive to me because I don't have it. I think most would agree it's preferable despite it being a quality they possess themselves or not. I don't disagree that your point might apply to my situation. However, I wonder what is inherently attractive about those qualities in themselves as so many find them preferable. Lets look at it this way. If individuals are a subsection of consciousness viewing other individuals who are also consciousness exhibiting a trait. Why does reality put it self in a position to reproduce more of this grounded and self certain behavior even if it doesn't necessarily lend itself to promoting higher overall conscious beings? Is this a self-regulating mechanism as an attempt for god to not completely realize himself? If god is one and its allowing itself to pull the wool over its own eyes so that it can experience itself subjectively amongst all its partitions. Then we can say that attraction is the effort of god to fool himself. So what is attractive is believing you are separate from everything else with full and unabashed conviction. Being grounded, assertive and confident in that identity thus spurring reproduction and continuing the process. That sounds like it makes sense. Did I get it right?

Addressing the moment after you "pop out" of flow. I would develop the habit of reflecting on the details of said activity you just performed and optimizing it. So essentially you would be blocking out the self congratulatory aspect you might tend to get carried away with from time to time and instead become more aware of your craft while coming up with ways it can benefit you and hopefully others even more as you develop it more into the future.

Can't forget this one. It's not dedicated directly toward psychedelics but will have nearly any psychedelic you can think of. The Drug Classroom The Drug Classroom provides straightforward drug education https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmnRJ-G1Qq2kdOzIe5fBBaQ https://thedrugclassroom.com/

My girlfriend is into it. She thanks me every once in a while for bringing self development and raising consciousness into her life. She loves to learn. She spent most of her young life with her face in school books. She has a good foundation of how to study knowledge and be disciplined. Thing is she was always just following society's rules and her parents orders to "do well in school". So she missed out in other departments of life. It all works out though because shes learning about so many things that she missed out on back in her younger years. She's come a long way and is excited to keep learning. Other than that I've mentioned Leo's videos to a friend for specific problems hes come to me for. I don't really try to sell actualized. I just say "Oh, this video I watched the other day might be one you could get something from". More than likely though he doesn't watch them even by my recommendation. He's hopelessly pessimistic and I think he's rather comfortable in his misery and would rather stay that way than have to put the work in to help his situation.

Hi, I've been dealing with sinus issues for the past year. Often waking up with soar throat deep down. Not just the back of the throat. I've been doing lots of yoga and stretching over this time. I feel that since my body has been becoming more aligned and my throat chakra probably more centered that Im revealing part of my inner throat that was previously pinched or pushed over and not receiving full use. I will often have to hock up loogies in the morning to stop the soreness/burning/dryness. I feel like the mucus gets stuck in my throat and irritates it. As if my mucus is slightly acidic and just sitting in one position during the night which causes such irritation. Could opening chakras have an effect on the body thats physiological in nature causing problems like the one I am suffering. Any insights would be appreciated.