isabel

so it means that it's something but it's not something that needs to be named, it's movement maybe and there are words but they don't have to mean anything, could be sound, like water flowing without meaning - I hope that's right or close to it because I really like that a lot - even if it's not right, there is something there that I love thank you @Mu_

mine is really mean lol what does yours say or what did it used to say before it dissolved? and what you put out into the world is reflected back to you so... if the inner voice/ego is very negative is that creating a negative outer world for that person? thank you

yes, I like it! that's basically what I'm doing right now so I do see something that looks like it's "inside me" or in my body/mind or just in my awareness and it talks lol and it wants things, mostly wants everything to be different/better, doesn't like this, is anxious about that, etc so is that not ego? based on something else you said, that ego or whatever just goes on, doesn't die but it's just not as big a deal as I'm thinking it is right now when I believe what is says about wanting this or that...?

@Mu_ thank you for that honesty, it's so nice mine does that too, it says you're not doing a good job, you should just give up, you should hate yourself it says both you and I so it says sometimes "I am not doing a good job" no wonder no one wants to be aware of their thoughts, if it's like that for everyone?

it's not always in the body, once when I was about 10, I had a fever and I left my body and saw the earth from very high up, it was night and I shot straight up fast, I saw the lights of my town get smaller and smaller until I was so high up that I could see the outline of north america lit up another time I was late for school and absolutely terrified of walking in late, I walked in the door and watched myself walk to my seat and sit down from the other side of the room, about 12 when that happened that's real, so how? literally seeing from somewhere outside of my body and in the second case my body carried on doing what it was supposed to do while I was watching from 20 feet away...weird I tried to do it again many times but so far it's not happened, not like that anyway, but I've had dreams but those were probably just dreams ??

@Leo Gura thanks leo, my parent's human avatar didn't come equipped with a conscience but mine did, so mine literally cannot rise to the same levels of abuse that hers can but I can totally see that if "I" were using her avatar, then I would do everything exactly as "she" does so when you say "Basically the child's mistake (now that's he's an adult) is to disown the fact that being abusive is not just a thing "others" do, but that he is also capable of it." you're not saying that I as the human/ego that I think I am is capable of it, you're saying that I, as my parent, am capable of it and if I were using a rapist's avatar then I would be capable of rape, and so on? is that right or no? btw thank you to everyone who has answered, I have read all of them at least 3 times now and it is helping me

"whatever you react strongly to and resent in another is also in you" if a child suffers horrific life long abuse by a parent and then later as an adult still has a strong reaction of pain to what happened, and even at times resents the parent, what is it that is also in the child? thank you

they say "you are not your thoughts and feelings" that never made sense to me but it would make sense to say that thoughts and feelings create the ego the thought "I am angry" and the feeling that goes with it creates an image, idea, or sense of an angry person, an ego so the ego is made from or created by thoughts and feelings is it right?

@Nahm thank you nahm, I understood some of that, definitely closer now

what is experience? how do you put what you feel first and respond to experience? idk what this means thank you

@BlackMaze thank you, that makes sense that the victim and the abuser share unconsciousness if the "victim" was fully conscious then they wouldn't be a victim - meaning only an ego would react/resent another ego I also thought of something else, I remembered eckhart talking about how some people are triggered by his teachings, they get angry but there is no unconsciousness in eckhart so there is nothing there to make them angry, it means the anger comes from them not from eckhart, not caused by eckhart so how does that work with the victim and the abuser? because in that case there was unconsciousness and the abuse really did happen oh I guess the anger and resentment still comes from me but it's not caused by the abuser it's caused by my unconsciousness because if I was fully conscious then I wouldn't be a victim, have a victim mentality, is it right?

rupert spira says that the body IS sensations, tolle seems to say that it's the inner energy field, idk what it is but so far I've found that there is no thought in it and if you keep going to it over and over again it becomes "more" and it gets easier to get into it and even pops up by itself sometimes but it is still a thing (I think) so there's even more after this, much much more I'm pretty sure, that's all I got so far

when you fall back from thought into the body, thought slows down and the body becomes alive with a flow of peaceful energy but I am very much aware of this happening, so it's a thing then? or is it? I don't know I want to know more, so what do I do now? thank you!

“Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you.” so if someone steals from me and I get mad, then I resent being stolen from and my strong reaction is anger so if resent being stolen from does it mean that I am also a thief? or does it mean something like that I (as a person) and the thief both appear in my awareness? I see that I see myself as a victim quite a bit so I would love to understand this, thank you!

well...yes, that is very strange but yeah get rid of the notion of good and bad I mean it makes perfect sense but I guess it will just take some time for this to sink in I get it but I don't live by it - my body and my mind react, and also I don't always "get it" I forget lol I will keep going, thank you!

omg yep that's totally true as well - I make an effort to be or to have the image of a really good, nice, sweet, selfless person, I like it when I can be like that and I do believe that is how I should be so I will keep questioning my beliefs and try and see what's really going on, thank you!

this whole thread is so helpful to me, thank you not too woowoo I love the woowoo there is a lot to this and I've been reading it for hours and will read it again but I am starting to see that I am very attached to an idea of myself that I don't want to let go of "the victim" so I see myself "my personal identity" is a victim who is afraid of being viewed as wrong or bad - I think that's why I was defensive “Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you.” so I have a strong reaction to others being "bad people" because I am afraid that I am a bad person and/or I am afraid that people will think that I'm a bad person @student yep that seems to be it, thank you! I am doing what you said

yes, I am beginning to recognize the victim mentality that I have, I allow and sometimes even create situations where I am the victim sometimes there is a very easy solution but I watch myself continue to be the victim instead of accepting the solution! there is something in me that is attracted to that, oh I think that is again part of my "personal identity" the victim... thank you

@Derek White thank you for helping me If you hate big noses on people then you’re constantly going to judge yourself to see if you have a big nose. I can see that, I react to what I am afraid of being maybe if I react strongly to being stolen from it doesn't mean I am a thief but I am afraid of being a thief or afraid of being seen as a thief and I am afraid of being seen in a negative way so...and that's my "personal identity"

@Mulky haha yes! I had a dream about this, people take my artwork and sell it as their own with no credit or money going to me, but in my dream I saw that artwork belongs to no one - it flows through me, I am not the creator or the owner of it - but my body and my practical mind do not agree and I don't really even understand what I just said, kind of I do but not really so the art is very much a part of my personal identity, strange

@Barna hmmm I actually understand part of that, it's true I do resent the feeling (in me) not the act because sometimes something happens and I don't care, there is no bad feeling and nothing in me to resent or be upset about - another time the same thing can happen and I am upset thank you for helping me

I resent being treated unfairly but I don't understand how does it mean that I am the one who is treating people unfairly? and now I resent the idea that I am the one treating people unfairly

@Emerald thank you! it is accurate

what can I do to improve my financial situation? thank you!

yeah, that's what I thought they were saying, so far I am only "aware of" but I am beneath one of the first layers (I think) and this is amazing, I will keep going back, thank you!