Raptorsin7

I think the issue most, if not all, people here will end up in a romantic situation with people who do not have the emotional mastery to fully process and understand this kind of scenario. This woman could be an otherwise wonderful woman, but if her evolutionary response is to be averse to signs to emotional weakness she can't help how she feels. How many people on earth have done the work to the point to where they have uprooted deeply held biological convictions and impulses?

Ahh kk. You know they used to say left handedness was devilry?

@Zeroguy No problem, why did you want to know?

@Zeroguy Right handed. But my mom said I was actually left handed but they taught me right

Just wanted to share a little pointer that everyone can appreciate no matter where you're at on the path. Notice that consciousness is effortless. Notice that right now as you read this you are conscious.. and you don't have to do anything to be conscious. Ever present effortless consciousness. No matter where you are, what you're doing... consciousness will be effortlessly present

I see your point, but you're just wrong about the nature of effort and how to progress on the path. I know what I'm seeking because of psych trips, and I can feel a steady progression in that direction despite many of the toxic habits you described above. I was worried that my toxic habits would keep me stuck but i've been progressing steadily for the past few months in spite of all that. True progress is literally effortless because consciousness is already effortlessly doing whatever is happening. When you are putting in effort you are out of step with progress on the path

Maybe you were so attractive to her you spooked her, and she realized she's not ready for this and just wanted to get away from the intensity of the situation

I get violent headaches and nausea from psychidelics too. You have to go into the pain and surrender to it. If you penetrate deep into the headache you can completely wipe out the suffering from your head ache. Next time you do a psych trace the feeling of the headache to it's root. It might be painful, but if you can trace the feeling you can dissolve it

Are you done seeking then? Are you at peace?

But consciousness is always present effortlessly. It doesn't really make sense to say raising consciousness because consciousness can't really be raised, consciousness is always consciousness

Thanks. Yeah I think as a mod there should be an expectation for better quality. But I do think he was trying to help.

Haha I hade a similar response, but I'm sure some people have that response to my post too. @NoSelfSelf You sound like you're quoting the red pill like undergrads quote from research papers. There is truth in some stuff you say, but it's robotic and detached from reality. As a mod you should know better

I'm not saying you shouldn't want these things or anything like that. I'm just pointing out that eloquent, ambitious, and spiritual/open minded men are rare so you have to ensure you are an equally rare person to expect to be desirable to that kind of man. I don't know what men are like where you're from, do you think these kinds of men are rare or in high supply? Haha thanks. In some ways I am, but I don't consider myself emotionally ready for a relationship so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I'll provide what insight I can. For me i'd say I have a hierarchy of things I look at. 1st is I want someone I find incredibly beautiful. Next, I would consider her emotional/psychological integration. I want a woman who has worked through any trauma, and is happy, healthy, and emotionally open for a deep connection. I'd include a strong feminine energy in this too, because I think woman who are healed will be able to embrace their divine femininity. Fundamentally, I want someone who is beautiful, emotionally/psychologically healthy, and who I enjoy being with. I remember when I was in college there was this girl in one my classes who I was really attracted to. She had an aura of femininity that was unmistakable. The way she dressed, acted etc. She wasn't trying to it, it was just part of who she was. I think this kind of reaction you want to invoke in men, and it was largely based on her mannerusisms and character all stuff in woman's control. Yeah I have run into the same frustration with spirituality. I'll share a little story from my psych trips that illustrates how this stuff works, but I haven't solved this yet so you'll have to learn more on your own. When I do psychs like LSD or mushrooms I get nausea and the act of vomiting causes my entire body to convulse. But behind/into the nausea feeling there are certain pockets of energy I can feel into, and when I go into them I literally transform my entire perception as well as my character. Once i get through the nausea my voice changes, my thought process becomes much more clear, my body is much less tense and I feel more in my body and more coordinated. So it's like the trauma and emotional repression caused by body to seize up and get stuck, but when I liberated the trauma and surrendered to all feelings I unlock a new dimension to myself. The same could happen with any woman. If you learn to be more emotionally vulnerable and let all this shit out of your system/being, your attitude, voice, way you walk, etc everything can be transformed. You will literally be walking around as a different person. I don't disagree with this. Unless your family has money it's always a wise move to become financially self sufficient. But notice your entire belief system around this question is skewed and telling. What if you were with a good man who would not financially abuse you? Notice this entire paradigm is coming from your own fear and insecurity.

Because I think you're not taking into account that men and woman value different things in partners. Also, I think that the qualities you described in a man are more rare than what you described in a woman. There will be more woman like you than there are men like him. I think you are looking at this only from your perspective, the qualities that you listed that make you desirable sound like qualities that woman look for in men, not vice versa. You have to consider what would a high quality man want from you. I don't know for sure, I'm still working on this. But i'll say this. it's not really about the beliefs per se, but more about how your body/being was programmed based on your relationship with your parents. We carry the trauma phsyically until we address it. Have you ever seen hard faced woman? Or people who walk around and seem scared and anxious as they walk? Most people are walking around with unprocessed trauma and there are literal physical manifestations of that trauma and they effect everything we do; from how we walk, talk, relate etc. I think men can tell almost instinctually when a woman is healthy and happy emotionally, and her being will literally reflect that. I think the kinds of men you want, will expect happy, healthy, and feminine woman. But until you learn deal with your trauma, you may be walking around with a vibe/energy that is instinctually repulsing the kinds of men you want. I'd say a good place to start would be find a therapist/coach who embodies divine feminine qualities, or at the very least is in a relationship with the kind of men you would want. You can learn from her how/why she was able to attract the kind of man she was able to get.

Haha yeah I wouldn't want that either. Thanks for engaging

As someone living in Vancouver I understand that need to have some check on the housing economy so you don't have the ridiculous prices like we have here, but I wonder how would this work in practice. I've heard leftists call for decommodification of housing, but how would this work? How would we decide who lives where? Obviously everyone will want the beach house property etc, and what happens if you get stuck living with a group of people who don't share your values or ideals? Thoughts?

@FlyingLotus That's a good point, I think addressing real estate speculation would be a great step forward. But I was also thinking about this from a hardcore leftist perspective. Like I believe a lot of people want housing to be akin to healthcare(in Canada), where there's no profit motive and it's orchestrated almost entirely by the government. The example of you gave above doesn't address the significant portion of the population that you can't afford an average house, even assuming housing prices weren't inflated from corrupt economics

How far have you gone into changing your beliefs and conditioning from childhood? I think men can tell pretty quickly if they are interested in you, so its your job to make yourself available for the kinds of men you like to approach you. I think an issue is there are less men like what you described than there are woman with what you described. Theres an asymmetry to what you're offering and what you expect out of the guy

These spoken Rumi poems are awesome to listen to. So peaceful

Thank you, appreciate the help and patience. Can't wait for the future, things are about to get really interesting haha

If you make a pitstop in Vancouver count me in haha

Hey, what do you guys look for in a woman if you want a long term relationship? Also, do most of you guys date with the intent to hopefully get married to the person, or do you not think about marriage until later into the relationship? What qualities, values, etc do you look for when choosing a woman? I'm also curious to hear how much the men here value physical attractiveness? I can't see myself being interested in someone unless I found them beautiful, but I also don't find a lot of woman beautiful so my preference feels kind of limiting. I was thinking it would be interesting if I found everyone beautiful, but then at the same time how would I make a choice for a partner without some strict preference. Any other thoughts or related insights are appreciated

I have an insight about helping other people that I wanted to share. When you're thinking about how to help someone/what to say, the best approach is to wait for an answer while basking in your own conscious presence. Just take a moment and sink into this conscious presence that we are, and you will get insights into what to say. This how to give spontaneous, intuitive advice to people

@JonasVE12 Can you intrusively tell if a woman will possess those qualities pretty quickly after meeting her or observing her? How long does it take you to talk to someone before you know they are what you're looking for? I value physical beauty highly too, my assumption is that most men do, but not sure. How difficult do you think it will be to find someone you think you could be happy with in a LTR monogamous relationship?

Yes