Raptorsin7

@kieranperez Imo those people are retarded if they think that. But I could be wrong.

Why do people want to awaken and practice zen? And the statement that awakening has nothing do with trauma is almost certainly nonsense.

@Zeroguy You should see Vancouver one day, it's an awesome city. Lot's of Serbian people here too. Just like the forum haha.

Ahh very cool thanks man.

@The0Self Thanks. Yeah it really does feel significant. I remember when my grandma first shamed me for shitting on the floor as a baby. I even felt a similar sensation on psychidelics before, but it's only recently hit me that 24/7 a part of my mind is working OT to make sure I don't shit shit myself lol. I've been contemplating who would I be if I were the kind of guy who had 0 trauma around shitting and noticed some shifts, but I'm still not sure how to fully resolve it.

@kieranperez @Consilience What is the zen or monastic approach to something like the example below? I've been reflecting on some early life and generational trauma and i've found some beliefs that I think hold a lot of space or energy in mind. For example, I have an intense fear of shitting myself or even farting loud in public. I've noticed that i'm always anxious of this in the back of my mind. Not exactly sure how to resolve it, but it makes sense why this kind of belief would be so impactful. Do these kinds of beliefs just get resolved over time with practice? Have you guys dealt with this kind of trauma or does this kind of specific stuff get addressed by the monks?

Did you know Macedonia boarders southern Serbia? I bet you have some relation to Alexander The Great

@Asayake Yeah here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to plan a few retreats in the next few months. Probably a vipassana retreat and maybe some other monasteries that are in BC. I'm thinking that a multi detox in a retreat will change my mood and perspective dramatically so then I can figure out my next step from there. If I don't have a clear plan after the retreats then the next step will be to plan a long vacation, probably through Asia because it's cheaper. I think I have like 10k in savings and I can probably get too like 20-30k in the next few months so hopefully that can last me a year of comfortable travelling. Then after this I will hopefully get a better sense of what I want to do. If I had a real investment plan I could probably get anywhere from 100 to 500k from my family to pursue some venture. But i think in my current state I would lose all the money.

@Zeroguy Agreed. I think hes helping and providing value in some way, but my point is that he's no buddha and his insight is limited

@Razard86 Haha I got nothing to say. Go be polyamorous.

Everything I know is from watching this series on youtube haha. There are quotes from him throughout too. In some quotes I can hear more humanity than other typical military quotes. "Napoleon who had visited Lanne every day, wept at news of his death. What a loss for France, and for me" It's interesting to see the mix of narcissism and grandiosity, and genuine care for another human being.

I want to use it to establish a passive income source. Maybe buy a cheap house and rent it or something lie that. Right now I want to get out of my parents house and travel and go experience some life. I feel like a child and I think going to travel, visit temples/retreats, and just get out and do whatever I want will help me grow up.

@Leo Gura Okay okay. The girls can date other girls.

@gettoefl Yeah i've been checking out the polyamory thread. We will see. This is all intellectual for me so who knows what kind of relationship I'll end up in. I wouldn't mind me and a few woman haha

We all have multiple parts of ourselves. I think Napoleon loved Josephine, and those letters display the boyish love he had for her. The military genius was a different part. Just because he was one of the greatest leaders ever, doesn't mean he's automatically going to be emotionally secure and self actualized in all aspects. Quote from his exile: "Perhaps i was happiest at tilsit. I found myself victorious, dictating laws, and had kings and emperors paying me court" He was a human being seeking happiness and love, but it just so happens he had a brilliant military mind in a chaotic time in history.

If you want to have specific relationships then monogamy is wiser. If you just want to be in relationship with the universe then we are talking about a different paradigm. I'm talking about sexual and deeply intimate relationships as well, I am not saying you shouldn't love your friends and family. Also, I want a family. So if I were poly how would that impact my children? If you are in a multi person poly relationship how do you decide who impregnates who? I would agree that saying you want no relationships and just want to be in love with everyone and everything is probably wiser in an absolute sense, but I am speaking from a human pov as someone who wants to live a good life as a human being. If someone said they lived a complete life and then felt they out grew monogamy that is also a different thing too. But you may be a person who THINKS they out grew it, but are still just confused.

I love this series. I think i have generational emotional trauma from this time period. I am a murderer, rapist, traitor.

@Razard86 The oldest does not equal the wisest. If you are maintaining multiple poly relationships then what else are you doing with your life?

I like the idea of monogamy. You form a deep and strong connection with one person and then pursue whatever you want in life. But it's possible once I experience this kind of relationship I may outgrow it, but we will see. Polyamory doesn't make sense to me in the context of relationships. If you are willing to fuck everyone, then why have a relationship at all. Just remain single, and be with whoever you want at the time you want companionship. But I think it's possible to love everyone, without needing to fuck everyone. So you can have an intimate sexual relationship with 1 person, and still love other people like family and friends. I have a sense that part of what motivates polyamory is weak men. I wonder how many polyamorous relationships exist because either the girl is using one man as a financial/security provider but also wants to have sex with men who satisfy other needs, or you have men who want sexual novelty and so feel the need to multiple partners to satisfy that itch. I would love to see a world where everyone had strong monogamous relationships where both partners love and are devoted to each other, but also love other people, but just don't feel the need to fuck everyone they meet.

Yeah I'm sorry too. I could have gave a better and less divisive answer.

I have a hypothetical that I'm curious to hear what everyone thinks about. I'm going to frame this from a man's perspective, but if you're a woman feel free to answer from your pov. Imagine you were in a committed relationship, either married or long term gf and your partner cheats on you and gets pregnant. If they wanted to keep the child would stay together to work it out and raise another man's child? Or would you forgive cheating if there was no child involved? My instinct is to say that any man who accepts his partner cheating, barring very niche circumstances, is weak and I would have 0 respect for someone like that in my life. But maybe i'm being harsh. What does everyone else think?

First we get the money, then we get the power, then we get the woman.

Yeah I'm sure he helps some people, and the cult comment may be to aggresssive. But I lost respect for him when I heard him comment about his nasal congestion. He has sleep apnea and uses a machine to deal with it, and he laughed at the idea that it was related to emotional repression or some other issue. I have similar nasal issues, and I know it's possible to completely decongest the nose and that's its directly related to repressions of tensions and emotions in the body. So I know he speaks about things that he clearly doesn't understand. He could have said idk, but instead he spouted off like he knew. And his comment about psychidelics is almost certainly nonsense.

Okay, yeah I take that back. I don't know if it's zero growth. But think about it. If Matt Khan was an effective teacher, he would not have that kind of cult following. People would come, get what they need and go on live their lives. You wouldn't want to be a cult follower if you are genuinely happy, but these guys can't really offer that.

@MsNobody Are you sure he said it's ONLY because of breathing? I've definitely noticed that my breathing changes when I do psychidelics, and usually when I'm able to make progress on the trip it's when I get some control over the breathing. Sounds to me like Matt Kahn has the typical spiritual teacher aversion to psychidelics because he has a cult following of seekers who make 0 progress, so anything that actually has the potential to work is kryptonite to a guy like Matt Khan