Raptorsin7

@Average Investor I've been using the washroom at my work more recently so that's a step in the right direction. But I still feel uncomfortable when I can hear people in the washroom, or there are people in the stall next to me. @puporing Yeah I have a therapist now, but I haven't brought this up yet. It still makes me uncomfortable the prospect of bringing this up, but this is the main thing on my mind nowadays so I may as well bring it up.

@JonasVE12 Okay. Whenever i do psychidelics I can feel that sense of pooping anxiety, so next time I guess I'll try pooping my pants and seeing how that goes.

Very true. The first video describes me pretty well @Zeroguy

@puporing Have you noticed how high consciousness is related to the sensations in the third eye and the way you see/percieve the world? It always feels like the tensions of the pineal gland are behind all the most profound experiences on psychidelics

Has anyone done MALT? Is this something that is likely to happen with 5meo malt vs 5 meo dmt? I've had experiences of being launched out of a cannon in my sleep before and I always imagined that was what 5 meo would be like, but idk. @puporing Did it just happen in a subtle jolt or was there a build up? Is it possible you weren't in physical danger but you just had an extreme psychosomatic response to the prospect of death? You're lucky mushrooms work for you so maybe you can stick with those, but it's probably worth really understanding this trip so it doesn't influence future trips. I fainted from a chigong exercise a few months ago, and I still have ptsd from it when I feel lightheaded or in a weird state walking.

I think intellectually she is trying to help and she clearly has some understand about trauma and provides people useful insights. But I think emotionally she hasn't done the deep work of uncovering and resolving emotional trauma so her heart/emotions are not in the right place. She would be better served by taking a step back from being a teacher/healer, and really diving into her own traumatic history. But this is difficult to do when one believes they are wiser than everyone else, and when they have the role of a teacher to uphold. She has the emotional constitution of a sociopath and so her interactions with other people will always be ripe for criticism because people can intuitively sense that something is off about her. And her behavior will leave a trail of trauma.

I may have just had a profound realization about disassociation. I believe my main issue is that I have a complex way to disassociate from my feelings, but I can be conscious of disassociation in real time and so I can choose to reassociate. I'm like watching myself and just asking am I disassociating right now, and I can tell when I am or when I am not. If this sticks, this will be my most significant insight/realization since my peak experience years ago.

@puporing I like the forum, but I think Leo's role as the leader puts him in a difficult situation. There are certain things that cannot be said or done with part of Leo's mind caught up in his role here. Idk I could be wrong, but I suspect even leo knows this on some level

I would support it. I think he would grow by letting this place go

Haha me too. I thought he was ready to let all this go and just do a clean break

Thanks, yeah i'll try. Got it, thanks.

@Zeroguy I'm hoping the retreat will be like a detox too from a lot of my bad habits. I find when i'm at work it's easy to be motivated and work etc, but at home I am so lazy and engage in bad habits easier. Thanks for the list, it's what I want too. One day I will be solve these issues and get rich, then I will come visit you in Serbia

Gotcha. I'm still working with mentors etc. I'm about to sign up for a vipassana retreat, so hopefully I get into that. Hoping to make more progress, but I wish things would move quicker. I don't know anything about construction business's so can't really offer anything. But good luck man I hope you achieve everything you want

@Zeroguy What are you working on nowadays? Do you still meditate or do any spiritual stuff, or are you more focused on your business?

What kind of returns can one expect if they have $100 000 of disposable income to invest? And how would you invest the money? Is there a dramatic difference in having 100k vs 500k to invest?

@kieranperez

@kieranperez Lol. Autism is a spectrum disorder. I am not severely autistic, but i'm on spectrum. Repetitive behaviors, difficult understanding and contacting emotions, coordination issues, and more. And i've experienced the contrast. Have you ever had an experience where you felt 100x more coordinated and in tune with your body. I have had DIRECT experience of all these shifts and changes. You have based your opinion on knowing autistic people from a distance.

How do you know that? Have you ever had direct insight into what autism is?

@kieranperez Lol. You don't have to believe if you don't want to. I'm still working on it, I'm just sharing my experience. And I don't think psychidelics are a magic cure for autism. I've done like 50 trips in the past 3 years and only a few of them I had significant insight into stuff like autism. But the key was getting in touch with repressed sensations and thoughts, like stuff associated with being shamed for shitting yourself etc.

I've done it on psychidelics, that's why i know it's possible. I've always had autistic traits growing up, and what I experienced on psychidelic trips completely wiped out almost all those traits. I could literally feel knots in my brain explode and all kinds of weird sensations in the body. I'm still trying to understand and resolve these issues, but I have a pretty decent amount of the fog of war clear at this point. Imo true healing will resolve autism. If you can't even resolve autism then how deep are your realizations.

I think people try different things before turning to spirituality. And most people are in pure survival mode, so they don't have time to reflect on their dissatisfaction. Imagine getting chased by a bear, all you can do is focus on running away from the bear. Yeah for me I've been dissatisfied for almost all my life, with moments of satisfaction here and there. It wasn't until I had a peak experience on psychidelics that I really got a taste of what divine life looks like.

@kieranperez Then what you're seeking and what i'm seeking are different. If you are autistic and then at the end of your path you are still autistic then imo that's a bit retarded. But to each their own. What does success look like for you on the path? Why are you interested in going to a monastery or seeking enlightenment?

I think they are motivated by dissatisfaction with life, and they have an unconscious drive to seek the divine and that's where spiritual seeking starts. If someone was satisfied and actively engaged with life and their pursuits I don't see why they would be seekers.

Curious about what?

Fair enough, I could be wrong. But if you are studying with masters that are still displaying autistic traits like aspergers then I would say that you don't know what you're talking about either. In my book you cannot be a master and autistic.