Raptorsin7

@modmyth I'm from Vancouver, but i live in Victoria for school (:

November 2nd 2019 First Meal: Large Coffee 1 cream 1 Sugar + Banana Pecan Muffin- Tim Hortons Second Meal: Teriyaki Rice Bowl - Earls Third Meal: McChicken- Mcdonalds

I don't know if i consider Sam Harris a "serious intellectual" but some of his podcasts are really informative, and I feel like i'm a smarter person for having listened to his podcast.

November 1st 2019 First Meal: Italian Pizza from Earls- Takeout Second Meal: Cod rice bowl from Browns- Takeout + Coke Zero 500 ml Third Meal: Kale + Spinach + Banana + Peanut Butter + Almond Milk Smoothie - Homemade

October 31st 2019 First Meal: Italian Pizza from Earls- Takeout Second Meal: Grilled Fish Filet- Grilled at home Third Meal: Kale + Spinach + Banana + Peanut Butter + Almond Milk Smoothie - Homemade

The past few days have been rough. I haven't meditated in three days, and I really had a bad time going back home to see my family. I've been hoping for a while that through meditation, yoga, etc my life would just improve on its own and i wouldn't need to actually DO anything other than put in the work in the habits and let it unfold. I think that's bull shit. I see so many people talking on this forum about giving up thoughts, giving up control, etc but i think i'm misunderstanding the advice or I just don't fucking buy it. I need to actively shape my life. I realize I need to do start small, and do the little things that are nagging at me. For example, cleaning my apartment fully, talking to my landlord about getting a new set of keys, and/or adding an extra hour to my meditation practice. I need to DO things in order for my life to change. I feel like i know exactly what i need to do, now i just need to start DOING it. I feel like i'm at square 1 again since starting law school. I gained some momentum when i started school but I feel like i fell back in the same old rut. But i heard david goggins talking about how he always ended up back at the same rut, and how he learned to keep climbing out. I think that's what I need to do. Just keep on fighting my way out through sheer will and action. I feel I know what to do, I need to stop listening to all the fucking idiots around me who think they know what the fuck is going, if i'm going to improve my life i am the one who has to do it. I know people are trying to help, and some advice is genuinely amazing. But i just get a bad fucking feeling about all the fucking advice getting thrown around and i'm still just sitting here not happy because without action there is FUCKING NOTHING. Advice means nothing without the will to act and follow through, and that is my biggest fucking weakness is ACTING. I need to fucking act, not ask for fucking advice. I think i need to stop swearing so much, but that's a fucking problem for a later stage in my development.

This is my first journal post, i'm planning on updating every few days. Ill begin with a little background for context. I'm in my early 20s, i'm a law student, I've been meditating for about 2 years, i've been interested in self actualizing ever since i heard of the topic as a teenager, and I want to learn how to be an excellent person in everything i do. I just read @pluto's post about LOA and how to manifest what i want in life, and it brings back memories to when i was depressed and i overcame by "acting as if". At that time i was severely depressed about becoming bald, and i spent a year basically crying about how i'm going to be a loser and everything i had done up to that point would be useless because i'd just be an ugly, bald dude at the end of the day. I hit a rock bottom after my dad threatened to kick me out, and i just started faking confidence one day and really just told myself stuff like, I am confident, I am good looking, I think positively, and boom within 2 weeks of this stuff my life transformed. I had more confidence than i ever had before, and i for the first time in my life i actually loved the way i looked. It was like i had a fire burning inside me, i could function highly on less than 5 hours of sleep, and i truly believed i was self actualized. Fast forward 4 years to the present moment, i'm now 2 years into a strong meditation habit, and i feel like i'm on a stable path toward freedom/enlightenment, but i no longer live the fire that i achieved through "acting as if". I feel good about how i look, but not amazing, and i have some confidence, but not superb confidence. For the past 24 hours i've been telling myself, I love how i look, i feel amazing, i am self actualized, i have incredible confidence, I have a beautiful girlfriend, I am happy. We will see how this plays out. I'm also doing about 20-30 minutes of concentration practice, 5 days a week of ashtanga yoga, and 1 hour per day of self inquiry. But to be honest i have most faith in my inner dialogue affirmations, i've felt the power of faking it until you make it, and if i'm be 100% honest if i had been able to sustain that HIGH i was on after overcoming meditation i don't if i ever would have started meditating because the experience was that powerful. I will trying and keep my future posts shorter, but idk, let me know in the comments if you guys want shorter ones or longer ones. My plan is to keep you up to date on techniques i'm using, and if i have any profound transformations in my experience that i can attribute to any of these techniques.

There is a girl in my class who is a religious Christian, and she was explaining to me how she has religious experiences frequently. For example, she said when she goes to church or prays she has experiences that reaffirm her belief in her religion. Are these frequent religious experiences the same kind of experiences enlightened people have? What do you guys think about religious people who have enlightenment experiences outside of a meditative context? It was very interesting talking to her because she said people usually think she's crazy when she brings up those kinds of life changing religious experiences. But I think those are the exact kinds of experiences i am after through my meditation, but i never thought about how there are deeply religious people who got to late game spirituality without a formal meditation practice.

I have been talking to a girl on bumble, I am 24 she is 29, and we are making plans to meet. However, i looked up her facebook, at least what I think is her facebook, and she has mutual friends with 2 yoga instructors at my yoga studio. This makes me very uncomfortable, because I really only use dating apps out of boredom and maybe to find a casual fling, and it makes me really uncomfortable that whatever happens with this girl could get back to my yoga studio. I don't know the extend of the relationship between this girl and my studio but nevertheless I still feel very uncomfortable about this whole situation. I don't know what to do now, I don't want to ghost her because it could affect my reputation at my yoga school, but i'm also deeply troubled by the closeness of this girl to my yoga studio. I'm new to the studio, around 1 month, but i go frequently, around 6 times a week, so i care about how i'm perceived there. I'm honestly not opposed to dating someone in yoga circles, but I have no intention of having a serious relationship with this bumble girl and I'm worried about the ramifications in the studio. How i'm perceived by teachers, what if i meet someone in yoga i actually really like and wanted to date etcc Any tips or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

I feel very depressed today. i went on a date with a girl but i am not too interested in this situation, but I also want to hook up with someone so i'm still talking to her. I feel bad about this situation, ahh but I feel like I need to see this situation through. Very tough I have been lowering my meditation to about 30 minutes per day, I need to get my times back up. I wonder if I meditate for 2 or 3 hours per day for a stretch if it will cure my depression. I should definitely try this. I went to yoga today, and my negative mood affected my practice and how i interacted with my instructor. I was very needy and annoying, ahhh so frustrating. I just want these dark cycles in my life to pass, or at least I need to learn to be productive during these cycles. I WANT TO BE BETTER.

How much money does an average life coach make? Is this a viable career field? What have been your experiences with life coaches and what are your thoughts about the job? Growing up I always viewed being a life coach as an career choice, and I always if people other than Tony Robbins types actually made a good amount of money doing this. I definitely had/have a negative bias against people that claim to be life coaches, because of the way these types of people are portrayed in media and my own family conditioning. But i'm curious whether or not these types of jobs are actually viable.

Sometimes i recognize i'm in a bad mood, or i'm feeling lazy and i don't want to do something i know i have to do. In these cases how can i use meditation in the moment to get me feeling better. Recently i've been trying to let go in the present moment, but deep down I feel like this won't work and the negative feelings usually resurface. How do you deal with these kinds of emotions? Finally, can you give a few steps of description going over how you would use meditation to deal with the problem. For example, 1. Aware of negative emotion 2. Become fully present of the feeling. 3. Let go by fully embracing the feeling for a few seconds. Thanks

Yes they can be compatible. But it depends on how you are doing pickup. Intention and behavior are huge here.

Good luck with your journey. I am from Victoria, BC so we are neighbors (:

@skywords Why do you have a relationship with a 13 year old as a grown adult? How are other people on this forum not concerned about this? Do you guys realize how devastating it would be to this forum and Leo's reputation if this guy had an inappropriate relationship with the kid?

From an enlightened perspective or a non-dual perspective, who is receiving advice on these forums. When advice is given and I feel like i'm getting advice, who or what is actually getting advice and then who or what is processing the advice. Any thoughts? TLDR: If there is no self who is getting advice?

What an amazing post. I'm listening to music reading these and they are amazing!

For those who have awakened, and now experience reality from a non-dual perspective, what advice would you give to yourself still suck in duality. How would you describe the new experience to your past self. Other thoughts?

Very interesting. Thank you for your response (:

I feel like screaming in frustration ): It's days like today that remind me how far I need to go, and just how undeveloped I am as a person. I feel lonely, I don't feel happy... I have an exam coming up this week, and I feel somewhat prepared but who knows. I've been meditating an hour a day consistently but I feel like it does nothing when I spend the rest of my day on the internet, eating junkfood. I obviously need to make big changes, but I just don't fucking do anything. I am thankful I have established a yoga practice and a meditation practice. I believe the solution to my problem right now is to go into those things that I'm afraid to do. I am afraid of sitting down and studying for a few hours without constant procrastination. I'm afraid to clean my apartment thoroughly, i always clean a bit then just stop. But in the mean time i'm going to do a lot of yoga and a lot of meditation and see where it takes me. I want fucking happiness, I can see it in my mind and i recognize it in my dreams. But i don't fucking have it in my experience now and it makes me sad ):

@lennart Yea man it's tough. The bad feeling reminds just how far I have to go.

Very good idea. It is frustrating getting advice that doesn't resonate with where i'm at in my practice.

I just woke up after going out last night with a bunch of classmates. Man i feel so depressed this morning. I can feel the sadness and the suffering. Whenever I go out to bars and drink I always wake up the next morning feeling depressed, maybe because I'm way more social when i'm drunk and i recognize my social mistakes? The suffering sucks, but I am happy that I can see it and feel it. It is motivating to go out and get my life to the place I want it to be. Where do i want to be? I don't know, but I feel I'll know it when I get it. I watched a david goggins video and I feel like the answer to my sadness/suffering is to push through all the things I don't really want to do. I have to study, but i really don't want to do it and I feel like shit while im doing it. I have to clean my apartment, but i always make excuses to do a shit job. I need to push through all these mental blocks in order to find happiness, BUT I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO DO IT. I'm so comfortable watching youtube drama, or going on this forum and reading random posts. I think if i'm not going to be better, I at least need to do things that make me suffer and feel depressed. it sucks to be depressed but it's better to feel this sadness then to not really feel it but still live a fucking unsatisfying life. Mood: ):

@zeroISinfinity Meditation is part of the way imo. I spend an hour meditating each day, but when i spend the other 15 or so hours engaging in low consciousness nonsense the meditation is like a drop of water in a sea of suffering. There is value in facing the suffering in your life head on and coming out a better person because it, all of which can be done outside of a meditative context. In my opinion , tacking suffering head on > Meditation at least at my current lower consciousness level.

@VeganAwake I'm still caught in the matrix. I can somewhat see my suffering, I see how i go to youtube, junk food, this forum etc to make my self feel good. After a night out i woke up this morning feel depressed, i could feel the sadness in my stomach, but my response is to listen to podcasts, get food, jerk off. It honestly sucks seeing my own suffering, and knowing I am the one who holds the keys to my own salvation yet I still do nothing. It is nice to actually feel the sadness fully though, sometimes its not obvious what motivates so much of my poor behavior, but when I feel the genuine sadness I feel more awake. Rant over (: