Raptorsin7

@Nickyy Are you suggesting i'm asking too many questions?

@JustThinkingAloud Agreed. I need to get creative. It's funny i've been pretty unhappy my whole life so I've never really created anything. I used to think creative things were stupid. I think I need to spend some time with my board trying to create more life.

@JustThinkingAloud NOPE. lol sorry it just felt right to say it like that. From what i've read, and from what I understand from my dreams and my current reality. It doesn't matter what you do. The reason people love doing what they are doing is the way it makes them feel. For example, I love playing basketball when I'm playing well and I'm dominating. The most fun i've ever had has been when i'm in the zone, which has been rare because I've always been in my head. But WHY does it feel good. I thought the why would be addressed through meditation. Same thing with extreme sports. People do it for the flow, and the feeling of effortless and silence of mind. That is where their "happiness" comes from. It's not the thing. It's the way it makes you feel. Happiness should exist right fucking now. But it's not here. Which means i'm doing something wrong. Just not sure what.

@oMarcos It's not the place. It's you. You can move all around the world and live in the "best" places, and you can still be unhappy because happiness is internal not external. Find happiness first then make life decisions. Don't make major life decisions searching for happiness.

@erik8lrl Do you mean just be whatever exists in my direct experience right now. Like I have a major sensation coming from my third eye right now, and whenever I meditate it feels like it's being massaged by fingers. How do I be the sensation of the third eye? Just bring awareness there and let go?

The main reason I do meditation is because I want to be happy and live and amazing life. I want feel happy and I want to feel like my life is amazing, I have had some dreams throughout my life where I remember feeling something during my dream, the content of my dreams were basically little episodes of a tv show, and I know it's possible for my life to be infinitely better than it is now, so here i am. (Note, I have begun using a dream board for the past few days and I legit feel like it's working so I don't want to act like my life isn't trending in a profound direction). Right now in my meditation i am just trying to be. Whatever arises i just sit with it and be it, and i'll also throw in some I love you's once in a while too. In the short term i'm looking for genuine flow and joy from my meditation that I can carry into my normal life. So for example, I'm hoping to find a mental state through meditation that I can then use in my life. So, when I go to basketball and I think how can i play my best, I will go to that mental space I have cultivated through meditation. Or when put something on my dream board, and I think how can i manifest this, I am going to go to that mental space and let it guide me. But ultimately what i want is an amazing life, that makes me just smile with disbelief that I can actually be this happy and live this life.

@White Monk Currently a few days into using the board. It works. Crazy change in only a few days.

Wow. The dream board works. I feel better now than I have in a long time. I feel like i'm connected to my true nature. I don't know if I actually found the kingdom of heaven or if i deluded myself, but I feel like I may have scratched the surface to my true nature. I still feel like my life can be better, (maybe this thought is limiting my own happiness?), but i feel in credible momentum and it's only getting stronger. I'm going to try to act out of this place i found inside me. When I look for myself I can feel something at my core. This is the feeling I need to cultivate moving forward. Going to keep up with the early morning meditation and late night meditation. This is very exciting.

November 16th: First Meal: Large Coffee 2 cream 2 sugar + Banana Pecan Muffin- Take out Second Meal: Indian Butter chicken and Rice- Take out Third Meal: Chicken Teriyaki rice bowl- Take out Fourth Meal: Whopper with bacon + 2 pieces of cake Fifth Meal: Banana

Might be a sign to move on from pick up and look for other ways to grow. Have you watched Leo's critique of the pick up community?

@Derrida You have to do the practice. Right now you are just thinking and philosophizing. That will get you nowhere. You can discuss and argue about enlightenment for eternity and never get any closer to what the fuck people here are talking about. If the more out there claims make you uncomfortable and lead you to doubt the practice (which they should btw all this shit sounds like pseudo scientific from the perspective of a rational person who has never had these experiences) then I would just focus on the practical benefits of this work. Do you want to be happy? Do you want to live a life better than any dream you have ever had? These practices are the way to do it. Granted, there could be other ways to get the same thing, who knows. But thinking and philosophizing about it is only useful if it leads to actually try these practices. There is no higher truth or practical benefit to be had from talking shit all day.

@silene Haha i know, discipline is tough. Just keep trying your best, don't beat yourself up, and let it be. Highly recommend checking out @Nahm's thread about using a dream board. It could be very beneficial to you!

Sounds like a plan. Good luck (:

@Raphael Sounds like a good plan! (:

@Raphael If you ever feel like you're ready to try a new meditation. Try to a find a good guided self inquiry. I like Mooji's guided inquiry. Also, you should think about experimenting with 2+ hours of meditation for a few days or weeks to see how practice changes. I did 3 hours today, and I had the deepest meditation of my life.

Rapharl have you tried self inquiry?

Wow. So I meditated 2 hours this morning, and I just finished an hour of meditation while high. That was my deepest meditation to date. I felt like I connected with being for a few moments. I had moments where I felt like I understood that the self is an illusion, and everything is just me being. It felt like I literally was everything I was experiencing. I feel pretty good right now too. God dam I think the dream board is actually working. So crazy. I also noticed an interesting phenomena where if i erase something from the dream board, it comes to me. For example, I had on my dream board I wanted to go deeper in my meditation practice and evolve my practice. I erased it a few days ago. And today i feel like i've gone deeper in my meditation than I ever had before. Very interesting. The causal link here seems to be the duration of meditation, which was brought by the dream board.

What do you mean celebrate? Should i buy a cake?

Great post! I have recently started to find more and more happiness in my life from being present, and using a dream board. Happiness exists in the present, there is no time other than NOW where will you find it. That said, sometimes i bring my attention to the present moment and although I can recognize thought patterns that reduce my happiness. I'm not sure how to feel AMAZING in the present moment yet. Thoughts?

@Red-White-Light Use a guided meditation when you are first starting out. You will get lost in thought constantly, and it's nice to have someone's voice to reattach to when you're lost during your meditation. Just do your best to follow along the guided meditation, and eventually it will get easier and easier to follow along. MOST people suck at meditation when they first start so don't feel bad about not feeling good at it right now. Also, if you do 1 minute of concentration practice by focusing your attention on a metronome before you begin your practice, whatever duration you feel is right, it will help you a lot.

For the past few days I have been meditating for about 2 hours per day in the morning. I feel like I am connecting to the present moment much more recently, and I feel like i'm gaining momentum. Connection to the present moment is very important. I have had an important insight that there is neither past or future. All we have is this present moment. Right now. And everything I want and everything I ever will want exists in the present moment, so I need to turn all my attention to this moment. This is where it is. I am trying to love the moment as much as I can throughout the day. People say love is the way. I will find out. I am going to love everything In my life and see the effect.

November 15th First Meal: Large Coffee 2 cream 2 sugar + Banana Pecan Muffin- Take out Second Meal: Burger and Fries- Restaurant Third Meal: 2 Grilled Salmon Fillets- Homemade Fourth Meal: Banana

It does not sound like a very healthy situation. Maybe you could benefit from talking to a therapist? Sorry, I can't be of more help i'm not sure how to deal with difficult situations like. I just know it doesn't sound good ):

I like the way you track your meditation. It is very practical. I think I want to do something like this. Thank you for inspiring me!