Raptorsin7

@Leo Gura How much longer are you going to play the role of leo gura the online personal development guru? Then what happens to this place when you decide to move on?

@Angelite I meant the hindu who can see people's lives up until now. How does he do it? If i ask him what i did 5 months ago to the day can he describe it? Or does he need more information?

@modmyth Suffering breeds love. If you dry fast you are on the verge of death. Coming that close to death will you bring you closer to god.

@mandyjw How many awakenings have you had?

@mandyjw How has the experience changed you? Can you notice little behaviors or habits help you move in alignment and others clearly pull you away?

@mandyjw Oh i see, i just read your initial post. So you have had some awakening experiences and now you are trying to integrate them?

@mandyjw What were your intentions for the journal?

@integral Yea i am i'll do an update on the thread soon. I can't tell if the gaba is improving my mood or i was already on the upswing and the gaba was just a minor boost.

Right now i'm listening to songs i've listened to many times before, but for some reason i'm feeling amazing listening to them right now. Literally these songs are making me feel better than I have in years. The same thing happened to me a few years when i overcame my depression. Music just sounded so good and it got me so inspired. Does anyone else experience this phenomena? Why does the same song feel so much different at different times in our life?

@Nahm My bad i was thinking of the time he reacted strongly the secret. But i think some of his criticisms apply to LoA too.

@TrynaBeTurquoise What's your spiritual practice like? What kind of practices do you besides meditation? I'm doing a similar journal, but i'm just trying to dump my thoughts about everything and look for patterns.

My thoughts: I feel so bad about losing the game tonight. I fucking let everyone down. And i fucking screamed at the other team like a jackass. But they seemed ok after about it which is good, and they ended up winning the finals so good for them. I need to control my aggression way better than i've been doing recently. I have been way to confrontational recently because i've been feeling better and have had more energy. I did not play my best all... I did not get into the zone... I did not play smart. It honestly sucks. But this is motivation to keep trying to be a better person. I lost the game.... But i want to win the game of life. I have my exams coming up. Uhhhh. I am not prepared at all and i just want them to be over. I literally don't care about them at all. They are not help not hurt, which means if i do better in the spring semester on those finals then these exams won't even count. I'm really only worried about the embarrassment of getting a terrible mark. Sigh... such a mess with this stuff. I have a lot of emotional resistance around getting a girlfriend i've been noticing. Part me thinks it will be fun. But then i always come back to these threads about love, and the consensus seems to be that egoic/romantic love is nothing compared to the truth and god's love. So what is the point of a relationship? What if i change as a person too? I am literally trying to get fucking enlightened, how is that going to uproot the entire relationship, if i get one... I think i need to meet the right person. I know there is someone out there that is right for me. But i need to be better. It's time for me to evolve. No more bullshit. No more childish games and stupid excuses for my circumstances. I have always laughed off the parts of me that i'm ashamed of. I don't work hard. I'm lazy. I'm not loving. I'm not social. I'm not disciplined. I just brushed it all of. I'm smart, rich, and good looking. That's what i would tell myself to make myself feel better. It's time to put aside the child. Time to grow up. It's time to enter the world and start making a difference. It starts with me. I haven't felt a sadness like this in a while. That's a sign i'm not living. Emotions are a good thing. I want to experience a range of emotions. Life's not all sunshine and roses and that's perfectly fine. Man i really wish we won that championship. Next season will be different. I'm growing a lot. I will be ready. I will make it up to my teammates and myself.

We lost... And i did not have a good game ): I felt really good going into the game too, I just didn't play smart and took some bad shots. I know it's only intramurals but i still feel bad. I feel like i let me teammates down. I did learn some important lessons though. 1. I need to develop flow in other areas of my life so I know what i'm looking for going into the game. I don't even know if it's flow i'm after, i just want the ability to try my best in everything I do. I want to leave the game or any project knowing I did my best with the time allocated. I don't feel like i did my best today... 2. I need to spend more time practicing the games/ things I do. I have the ability to do well in many things, I don't care if i sound cochey i'm a really talented person and I know can do better. But i need to practice doing my best. I am not a point where i can just go out there and get a peak performance out my self. I need to cultivate peak performances before the real thing so i know what i'm doing. 3. I have to find a way to channel my aggression and passion in sports, and more recently on this forum. I was way too aggro during the game, at the end i was basically screaming at the other team about a possession call, it was out of line. I want to play hard, and play aggressive in sports and in life, but i want to be in control. I care about the game of life, i need to cut out the toxic elements of my competitiveness. Thanks for all the advice and support everyone, i appreciate it. THE GOOD NEWS: This is my first semester in law school, and there will be 5 more semesters of intramural basketball before i graduate. I got a redemption season coming up in the spring. I can't wait.

@Nahm Joe rogan is very resistant to the ideas of abraham hicks. But hes clearly very well developed spiritually. Why do you think he's so against her?

@Nickyy Can you get those off amazon?

@Arcangelo That's awesome man congratulations on that. Are you diving into the enlightenment work Leo's been talking about?

This song is making me feel so fucking inspired right now it's insane. I have it blasting on repeat. I've had these feelings before a few years ago when i came out of a year long depressive episode. It feels like i'm getting high listening to the music. I really wonder what's going on here. Is it because i did the float tank today so i'm more relaxed and the music can access me easier? I wonder what else would get me feeling so fired up? This reminds of hypo-mania. I've read that some people just live in this elevated, hypo-manic, state for their entire lives. This feels like an upgrade of my experience. But last time i had this feeling i lost it. But i also had 0 conceptual understanding of reality and self actualization like I do now. I will not lose my progress this time. Or i will but it will be different. I'm pumped. I'm going to dominate these games tonight. I can feel it.

@TDW1995 I think it's a progression. The belief about it being binary just takes you further away from it because you will always think i'm not enlightened. I think enlightenment changes the relationship we have with things in our direct experience. So maybe an enlightenment person can still be a "shy person" but it won't cause them any suffering or problems. The labels are meaningless without the value we attach to them.

I think so. A couple weeks ago i was really scared of awakening, i made a thread about it and everything. Now i don't feel afraid, and i'm eager to awaken. I'm not enlightened, and nothing changed from when i was scared to now except more meditation and yoga.

@ivankiss Good luck man.

@mandyjw How does selflessness or oneness fit into this picture? I'm starting to recognize I do not exist. When i look for myself my attention goes to my eyes and I never find what i'm looking for. I'm expecting one day i'm just going to stop looking for the self and i'll notice that i haven't been living as me for a while now, but i'm not sure haven't experienced it yet. When i fully realize and integrate selflessness will i just be in constant connection with that good feeling/love? I don't have a lot of love in my life yet. Right now i'm just listening to the same song on repeat over past few days which makes me feel better. But i'm meditating a lot so hopefully it comes more and more now

@DrewNows I am. I'm asking myself right now lol

@mandyjw How do you connect with source then?

@mandyjw Yea that makes sense.

@Serotoninluv Is the will of the self whatever you're drawn to when you are fully present in the moment. When the duality collapses and you can just be?